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(London Times)   Fat-busting laser treatment could melt away cellulite and arterial plaque, proving once again that you can do whatever the hell you want to yourself and science will bail you out   ( timesonline.co.uk) divider line
    More: Obvious  
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9853 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Apr 2006 at 11:35 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



98 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2006-04-09 07:16:57 PM  
Ahh just in time too! Tonight is corndog night.
 
2006-04-09 07:59:31 PM  
And scientists are still scorned by a majority of our society, meh.
 
2006-04-09 08:16:51 PM  
And scientists are still scorned by a majority of our society, meh.

Well maybe if you all hadn't invented thalidimide we'd have more respect for y'all....
 
2006-04-09 09:19:05 PM  
Weaver95: Well maybe if you all hadn't invented thalidimide we'd have more respect for y'all....

Don't worry, it's a mutual angst. Watch your back though, we can always take off in our star detroyers when shiat hits the fan and leave you guys to sort it out for yourself.
 
2006-04-09 09:27:16 PM  
Woo hoo! Bacon burgers and fries for everyone!
 
2006-04-09 10:29:48 PM  
i1.tinypic.com
 
2006-04-09 10:31:53 PM  
So do keep fat creationists from using this or do they get to decide what science they want to believe in.
 
2006-04-09 10:33:39 PM  
do WE keep

I apparently don't believe in typing correctly
 
2006-04-09 11:37:13 PM  
farkING AWESOME
 
2006-04-09 11:38:21 PM  
Holy soy, Batman!
 
2006-04-09 11:39:31 PM  
They believe in whatever science helps them the most
paulv
 
2006-04-09 11:39:38 PM  
PUT THE FORK DOWN

RUN AROUND THE BLOCK

REPEAT AS NECESSARY

/The definitive be all end all weight loss programs. It's that simple folks.
 
2006-04-09 11:39:58 PM  
.---.
/RIP\
|....|
|....|
-----
Here lies personal responsibility.

/Ashes to ashes...
 
2006-04-09 11:40:02 PM  
Yes I always cook fat people in a layer of bruschutto. Onwards an upwards with cooking technology!
 
2006-04-09 11:41:01 PM  
Weaver95 [TotalFark]

And scientists are still scorned by a majority of our society, meh.

Well maybe if you all hadn't invented thalidimide we'd have more respect for y'all....


And mabye if God hadn't given all the homosexuals AIDS and destroyed New Orleans for its satanic free loving drink-fest, I'd have more respect for religion.

/that's right. I went there.
//not religious, but it had to be said
///Pat Robertson needs to die in a fire.
////Cubs Win! Cubs Win!
 
2006-04-09 11:41:27 PM  
Gonna be a hell of a thing when all that fat gets replaced by cancer.
 
2006-04-09 11:41:47 PM  
But what about answering the important question!!
Will these lasers be mounted on sharks?
 
KNW
2006-04-09 11:42:29 PM  
"You can geta tummy tuck, have a tummy like a cheerleader. You can get lasik surgery to give you 20/20 vision. You can get a little device that'll give you hearing as good as the day you were born.

But you can't fix stupid."

When they develop a serum for curing stupidity, I'll relly be happy. Until then, I'm gonna have to get my fat ass some exercize.
 
2006-04-09 11:44:43 PM  
farkin' chuck norris
 
2006-04-09 11:45:02 PM  
PARTY!!!
i1.tinypic.com
 
2006-04-09 11:45:08 PM  
proving once again that you can do whatever the hell you want to yourself and science will bail you out

My dad: Don't listen to that music so loud or you'll be deaf when you're my age.
Me: Pff, by then medical science will be able to fix me.
/what do you say now dad?
 
2006-04-09 11:46:18 PM  
I call it the Alan Parsons Project
 
2006-04-09 11:46:58 PM  
I *heart* it when science bails me out.
 
2006-04-09 11:46:59 PM  
Eh. Who wants to live till their eleventy first birthday anyway?
 
2006-04-09 11:47:46 PM  

2006-04-09 11:41:47 PM Espertron

But what about answering the important question!!
Will these lasers be mounted on sharks?


BRILLIANT! Now we can eliminate the fat people in the swimming pool problem quickly and efficiently, while allowing natural selection to take it's course!

Bravo!
 
2006-04-09 11:56:50 PM  
How about you just exercise, you fat cow!!
 
2006-04-09 11:58:31 PM  
Dark_Wolf77

You'd need a laser beam about 45 feet in diameter to help that poor fool.

Long live Bender.
 
2006-04-10 12:04:11 AM  
You are anorexic, this is true. However, you still could use a quick 25 minute laser treatment to look even skinnier.

/This is a white bread snap.
//In my opinion, I don't care what my aorta looks like and/or is filled with. Just let science rid me of my beer gut so I can doink the hot girl who just turned 18 and lives 2 doors down.
 
2006-04-10 12:04:33 AM  
KNW: When they develop a serum for curing stupidity, I'll relly be happy.

It'll never happen. The government's more afraid of curing voter stupidity than they are of alternative energy sources.
 
2006-04-10 12:06:10 AM  
It'll never happen. The government's more afraid of curing voter stupidity than they are of alternative energy sources.


Heh. What happens if no one votes?
 
2006-04-10 12:06:33 AM  
Oh, man, I haven't laughed like that at a headline in a while. Good one, submitter.
 
2006-04-10 12:07:31 AM  
What was the movie with Richard Pryor....

He launched a campaign to get everyone to vote "None of the Above"

Farkin PRICELESS.
 
2006-04-10 12:09:07 AM  
Using the FEL, which is much more powerful than a conventional laser, the scientists were able to choose selected laser wavelengths that could heat up the fat, which was then broken down and excreted by the body

I, for one, would rather run around the block than spend six hours pissing liquid lard.
 
2006-04-10 12:09:45 AM  
can i be the lab rat? i got some extra waist i wouldnt mind not having to exercise off
 
2006-04-10 12:10:21 AM  
rockforever: They believe in whatever science helps them the most

The beauty is this is equally true no matter what "they" you are talking about.
 
2006-04-10 12:11:31 AM  
Bondith:

I, for one, would rather run around the block than spend six hours pissing liquid lard.


I, on the other hand would revel in pissing the pounds away.
 
2006-04-10 12:13:48 AM  
So they boil the fat in your arteries? Mmmmmm deep fried arteries.
 
2006-04-10 12:15:09 AM  
submitter: proving once again that you can do whatever the hell you want to yourself and science will bail you out

Which is why we are better than animals. We have this cool ability to actually advance our society and make things better.

Might also be the "why we aren't from apes" thing.

I dig that, the making ourselves better. It also means I have zero qualms about eating chicken

/not a creationist
// not an evolutionist either
/// is that a word?
 
2006-04-10 12:15:22 AM  
This is terrible news. With science taking responsibility for our physical condition, people will be less motivated to exercise or pursue active lifestyles. Not only weight management is involved here. Mental well-being, emotional well-being, they're all tied into exercise and lifestyle. With people being bailed out for being lazy, it's only making things worse down the road.
 
2006-04-10 12:16:03 AM  
Fat-busting laser treatment could melt away cellulite and arterial plaque, proving once again that you can do whatever the hell you want to yourself and science will bail you out

Submitter, you have exhibited asshattery. Cellulite exists on even the firmest and fittest bodies because it is a HEREDITARY COSMETIC problem. It is not a health one.

I have gym instructors who run marathons and can lift YOU that have cellulite. I excersize and maintain an underweight weight if I can and have cellulite. Meanwhile, my lazy ass friend doesn't have a dimple. Blast away laser man...blast away!
 
2006-04-10 12:16:48 AM  
Pfft.. New medical technology will only encourage people to do bad, bad things like have sex and get fat! And acne is a sure sign of sin! I say we burn down the laboratories. WHO'S WITH ME?!

/lol
 
2006-04-10 12:21:57 AM  
Not just fatasses have cellulite. It affects something like 80-90% of post-pubescent women.
 
2006-04-10 12:22:08 AM  
Didn't Rousseau say that perfectibility was a bad thing?
 
2006-04-10 12:22:45 AM  
desolationrow

I would hope that this technology would only be used for the obscenely obese. Might be a better alternative than cutting up people. That being said.. Who wants to invest in fat-melting clinics with me in 2009?
 
2006-04-10 12:27:53 AM  
MonaLeilani

I would hope that this technology would only be used for the obscenely obese. I would sure hope so. Using it to give a chance to people who really need it would be great. Knowing humans, though, we'll probably screw it up somehow.
 
2006-04-10 12:30:23 AM  
Acne sufferers dont really make concious decisions that give them acne. Its more of a "you have it or you dont" type of thing.
 
2006-04-10 12:32:53 AM  
When we start doing things like this and are able to manipulate our own genetic makeup, does that mean that we have evolved to the point where we can direct our own evolution.

Fark, if that's the case, I hope we don't make too many mistakes.

/Zombies man, it just makes me think of zombies.
 
2006-04-10 12:34:02 AM  
What's wrong with this? If we have technology that can make our lives better, by all means, let's use it.
 
2006-04-10 12:35:35 AM  
I'm all for personal responsibility for anything I have to take it for. On the other hand, anything science can come up with to shrink that list, I'll take. Till I see this being offered at kiosks in the mall like those massage places, I'll stick to trying to keep vaguely in shape. After that, it's on.
I'm a fairly avid transhumanist. I doubt even the first true transhuman will happen within even my childrens lifetime. Although I do think within that time, or within a generation or two after it will be possible. Unfortunately, there'll be plenty of argument about the nature of humanity, meddling with god's great plan, or teh evil super-science taking over the world, before it actually happens. What form it takes I'm not really of a mind to speculate about, but I think before all too long the question of personal responsibilty in regards to bodies, much less body fat, may be moot.
 
2006-04-10 12:38:50 AM  
Spellcar: Acne sufferers dont really make concious decisions that give them acne. Its more of a "you have it or you dont" type of thing.

????

They do and they don't. People have higher rates of heart disease don't get to pick that when they roll up their character, but they can effect the chances and severity of it happening.

Really, the choices are the same for both acne and heart health. Food you eat (greasy, bad!), excercise, paying attention to what you body tells you, certain habits (i.e. if you have acne,shaving can be very bad, washing your face good) and regular doctor followups.

One is worse than the other because people who have heart attacks can still get laid.
 
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