If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(National Geographic)   Newly discovered "lost" gospel gives Judas an alibi. Was shagging Mary Magdeline at the time. Where's your god-killer now?   (www9.nationalgeographic.com) divider line 420
    More: Interesting  
•       •       •

29931 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Apr 2006 at 3:24 PM   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



420 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | » | Last | Show all
 
2006-04-06 04:38:02 PM
Mike_Bolton

Could Jesus microwave a taquito so hot, that not even he could eat it?

Immovable stone, meet irresistable force...
 
2006-04-06 04:38:27 PM
Fer chrissakes, submitter, at least spell my name right! ;)
 
2006-04-06 04:39:28 PM
Mike_Bolton: Could Jesus microwave a taquito so hot, that not even he could eat it?

Matthew 4:7 Again it is written, thou shalt not tempt the lord thy god with delicious snack food.
 
2006-04-06 04:39:29 PM
Judas killed Dumbledore?
 
2006-04-06 04:40:12 PM
Thrakkerzog

Ever have the Casa Mamita (Aldi) brand Taquitos? I like them more than the name-brand ones. If you are the west of the Mississippi river, you probably will not know what I am speaking of.


In California, so sadly, no....they're good, I take it?

Mike_Bolton

Well, when he shows up, we'll find out, ne? Do you think he prefers chicken or beef?

delau

It's a spring cleaning things.
 
2006-04-06 04:40:32 PM
Non-believer here. Yet, i often see God in others' eyes, and i think, is that God i just passed by? Then i see them toss a snickers wrapper on the ground, and i think, nah, that aint God, he'd eat a Mr. Goodbar.
 
2006-04-06 04:42:10 PM
Thank you, headline:

The judge said 'Son, what is your alibi?'
If you were somewhere else you won't have to die
I spoke not a word though it meant my life
For I'd been in the arms of my best friend's wife


Long Black Veil
 
2006-04-06 04:42:22 PM
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
 
2006-04-06 04:42:24 PM
Hey Blair. You give me your name, and I'll give you mine, so you can report me to the bar. After all, I agree with trueaustinite and we're members of the same bar.

While you do that, I'll report you to the black race for being an embarrassment.
 
2006-04-06 04:43:13 PM
Wrong thread. Sorry guys.

/fark
 
2006-04-06 04:43:28 PM
saintstephen

Why do you hate Jesusland America?
 
2006-04-06 04:43:45 PM
I'm thinking the Book "I Judas" was supposed to be based on this manuscript. It's actually a decent read either way.

/ most texts at the time were written in Greek... all the actin took place in Arimaic / hebrew?... the Greek is Ancient greek translated into Latan... translated into whatever language you prefer.
 
2006-04-06 04:44:22 PM
baby_hewey:
...differnt pattern or not, we still can't build it.

Yeah, we can. Or scientists can.
In attempts to solve the mysteries of insect flight, scientists made enlarged scale models of bumblebee wings. These models produced viable results by combining the two essential forces in a fluida pressure force produced by fluid inertia, and a shear force caused by fluid viscosity. Professor Dickinson reported new findings of his own in 2001 as a result of building upon the theories of Ellington that he previously had attempted to refute. In his study published in Scientific American (Solving the Mystery of Insect Flight), Dickinson attributed the flight of the bumblebee to the phenomena of delayed stall, wake capture, and rotational circulation.

Delayed stall occurs when an aircrafts wing cuts through the air at too steep of an angle. Vortices created by airplanes usually leave behind a pestering turbulence in the slipstream. However, insects require these vortices to remain in flight. A vortex is a rotating flow of fluid, such as occurs in a draining bathtub. When proceeding at shallow angles, the air splits at the front of the wing and flows smoothly in two streams along the upper and lower surfaces. The upper flow travels faster, resulting in a lower pressure above the wing. This draws the wing upward, producing lift. The first stage of stall initially increases the lift because of a brief flow structure called a leading-edge vortex. This type of vortex forms directly above and behind the wings leading edge. Airflow in the vortex is extremely fast, and the resulting low pressure adds substantial lift.
The Flight of the Bumblebee
by Matthew Vanhorn
 
2006-04-06 04:44:47 PM
Uh-oh, those damn Gnostics! Constantine must be spinnin' in his grave to know that his purges didn't wipe out every copy of the writings of those who weren't down with making Jesus into a deity, a trinity, and, thus, a real tool for maintaining stability in the empire...

Christianity: The first and most effective propaganda informercial.
 
2006-04-06 04:44:58 PM
National Geographic? No thanks, I'll pass.

I'm waiting for the South Park version.
 
2006-04-06 04:46:10 PM
2006-04-06 03:43:02 PM RainDawg

All religion aside, this is a great line:

"...you will exceed all of them. For you will sacrifice the man that clothes me."

______________________________________


It also places the Gospel firmly in the Coptic Gnostic Tradition of the early centuries AD. Many of the Gnostics were Ascetics who saw a clearly divide between the body Which they considered of this world, corrupt and evil, and the Soul, which was of course pure and immortal. (a little something they stole from Mandaeanism, a Persian faith whose fingerprints, along with its sucessor Manichaeism are all over Early Christian Theology including the concept of the The Devil).

Many of the gnostics, therefore, denied the humanity of Jesus, since god would never debase himself by encasing himself in evil mortal flesh. Therefore they rigidly denied all pleasures of the flesh and sought spirtual enlightment through denial. In fact, a lot of them tried to demonstrate their piety by fairly henious acts of self mutilation (you don't EVEN want to know what St. Origen did to himself)

They are also responsible for a LOT of the F'ed up ideas and hang-ups that Christianity has about sex and the human body even to this day.
 
2006-04-06 04:46:32 PM
Just to flame on National Geographic...

Did anyone notice that "What did King Tut really look like?"

I remember that from a World magazine article I had over 20 years ago... it's sad when they have to recycle ideas from a kids magazine.

/flame on!
 
2006-04-06 04:48:54 PM
i cant wait till the gospel gets discovered that says jesus never existed.
 
2006-04-06 04:49:02 PM
QT_3.14159:
I remember that from a World magazine article I had over 20 years ago... it's sad when they have to recycle ideas from a kids magazine.

There are kids today that didn't see that magazine twenty years ago.

Try again. I can't roast my marshmallows on this.
 
2006-04-06 04:50:28 PM
No, no... they've got it all wrong! They're confusing this text with the plot of the last Harry Potter book. Same bloody thing happened to Dumbledore...
 
2006-04-06 04:50:49 PM
Dansker - that was a real good read, I googled for the whole artical and I am still reading. But, I will still look at the humble bumble bee with reverance.

/maybe I am becoming a fundie in my old age
//I need to google some pron to check.
///nope not a fundie, I still like the undies
 
2006-04-06 04:51:14 PM
Hold that thought. Lemmee get some popcorn. I smell a flame war.
 
2006-04-06 04:51:36 PM
I prefer the Gospel of Joel (Osteen).
 
2006-04-06 04:51:47 PM
It's like some kind of farked up pyramid scheme. I am talking Christianity that is. I mean the Pope- the Knights Templar- the Holy Grail- Judas-Mary Magdeline. MY FREAKIN head is spinning. *sneezes.
 
2006-04-06 04:52:01 PM
Flaming Asshat
FTA: this newly discovered Gospel portrays Judas as acting at Jesus' request when he hands Jesus over to the authorities.

Wow. Shocker. Oh...wait...The canonical gospels record that Jesus said "Friend, do what you've come to do." Not a shocker. Rats. And National Geographic is usually SO GOOD at not letting inuendo and agendas get in the way...


"Friend, do what you've come to do" is not the same as "friend, turn me over to the Romans so that I can fulfill my destiny." Letting something happen is not the same as asking for it to happen or causing it to happen, despite what the prosecutors in Moussaoui's case want to get the jury to accept.
 
2006-04-06 04:52:09 PM
baby_hewey:
Dansker - that was a real good read, I googled for the whole artical and I am still reading. But, I will still look at the humble bumble bee with reverance.

Me too. It's a magnificent beast.
 
2006-04-06 04:52:48 PM
I'm not a religious guy, but that's some cool shiat right there!
 
2006-04-06 04:58:13 PM
Dansker

There are kids today that didn't see that magazine twenty years ago.

Try again. I can't roast my marshmallows on this.



*sigh* I guess you're right. How silly of me to think that an article on the COVER of a National Geographic magazine should be something novel and formerly unexplored.

Of course, I did notice that the new King Tut has a signifigantly lighter skin shade than the one I saw as a kid...

So, (trying for a new, better flame) What does that say about National Geographic's racial skew over the past 20 years? Are they trying to be more accurate, or more PC?
 
2006-04-06 04:58:14 PM
Once I finish my time machine, I'm going back and starting Christianity...

But this time we're gonna all be worshipping pickles.

Yes... pickles... mmmmm....
 
2006-04-06 04:58:57 PM
The Gospel of Judas said that Judas was Jesus's best friend. Yet Judas was never included in any of Jesus's uber inner circle (talking to Moses/Elijah, raising the girl from the dead, etc) even once.

When we weigh the accounts of two witnesses and two secondhand accounts against the accusations of one unknown author two centuries later, the four reliable sources have it.

There's no "secret knowledge" for salvation. It's really quite simple:

Admit you're a sinner + repentence = God's grace/teh win

Whether you adhere to a Christian lifestyle after that admission of sin (that is, show your repentence through deeds as well as words) is a another matter.
 
2006-04-06 05:03:33 PM
Hmmm...coincidence that the hottest non-Harry Potter book of the last decade is "The DaVinci Code", which is a story about how "The Man" has been putting down Mary Magdalene for centuries, and a month and a half before the big movie about how awesome she really was is about to be released, some "hidden" gospel is released saying she really WAS a whore and she was sleeping with other disciples behind Jesus' back?

hmm.
 
2006-04-06 05:06:34 PM
So did anyone else pull from the Gospel of Judas that Jesus had Judas turn him in to test his disciples and see if they had actually learned anything through his teachings?
 
2006-04-06 05:06:39 PM
Man_Without_A_Hat: the four reliable sources have it.

You believe in an invisible man.

lol.
 
2006-04-06 05:07:05 PM
This would all be very interesting if there had ever been any such personages as Jesus or Judas.

Unfortunately, there is absolutely no evidence outside of the Bible, and no pre-Gospel evidence in particular, to suggest that such a person as Jesus ever lived.

Jesus is only the latest version of an ancient Sun God myth that began in Egypt. Anyone who takes his story literally is a dupe and a fool. Even Judas has his mythological counterparts in many older religions.

The greatest secret the Vatican has been hiding all these centuries is not that Jesus was married, but that he never was.
 
2006-04-06 05:07:21 PM
Man_Without_A_Hat: Admit you're a sinner + repentence = God's grace/teh win


Wrong. Thanks for trying though. "Original Sin" is the biggest load of crap that christianity has every tried to foist on an unsuspecting mass of sheep.
 
2006-04-06 05:08:36 PM
Ooooo. A jeebus thread...where's 5uperman?
Oh, there he is.

/Groucho said there's a sucker born every minute.
/Maybe he should've started a church.
 
2006-04-06 05:09:00 PM
peacefulwarrior

Weak attempt at a flame...why don't you sit down and have a taquito?
 
2006-04-06 05:09:20 PM
Nothing like a rousing bit of fiction no? Oh wait you people think the Bible is FACT? Ohh... boy I wandered into the loony bin.
 
2006-04-06 05:11:02 PM
im pretty sure jebus is dead, and mary magleine married don quihote.
 
2006-04-06 05:12:56 PM
Jesus is only the latest version of an ancient Sun God myth that began in Egypt. Anyone who takes his story literally is a dupe and a fool. Even Judas has his mythological counterparts in many older religions.

Its ironic, isn't it? Christians accuse you of being vile and evil for not joining their religion, and non-christians accuse you of being duped or a fool for believing Jesus existed. Youd think that with all the Christian bigotry, the non-Christians wouldn't be stupid enough to follow the same path.

/guess some people will never learn, no matter how many times something happens. If I keep expecting them to learn does that make me insane?
 
2006-04-06 05:13:04 PM
QT_3.14159:
*sigh* I guess you're right. How silly of me to think that an article on the COVER of a National Geographic magazine should be something novel and formerly unexplored.

Well, it is novel for kids today, as I said.
There's nothing wrong with repeating established knowledge for a new audience.
As a wee lad I loved National Geographic. Their audience is not scholars and scientist, or old, jaded know-it-alls such as yourself, you bastard (random insult addded for flame effect.)

...What does that say about National Geographic's racial skew over the past 20 years? Are they trying to be more accurate, or more PC?

More racist. They're insinuating that the ancient Egyptians were Europeans, obviously.
 
2006-04-06 05:13:36 PM
Revelations 22:16 "I am the Root and the Offspring of David, and the bright Morning Star"

Now wait a second... offspring of David (from Joseph?)... so G-D ain't yo daddy?

Morning Star??? Isn't that LUCIFER in Hebrew?

/just askin
//i know more than i think i know
///the Yehosua quote should be red i think
////slashies like when that dude cut off that other dude's ear
 
2006-04-06 05:13:47 PM
AuntiAnxiety
National Geographic? No thanks, I'll pass.


I take it you don't care for the version with the authentically-topless native girls?
 
2006-04-06 05:15:44 PM
baby_hewey I would rather be a beliver as there is hope in death. What happens to an atheist at death, the end? A Christian has hope of an afterlife, and while I am not a gamble by nature I am willing to bet on something over nothing.

Sounds like somebody took Pascal's Wager. Hope you win, man.
 
2006-04-06 05:15:51 PM
Here's one of my faves called The Meaning of The Death On The Cross

It disputes the primitive notion of the "atonement doctrine" (which never made sense to me anway)

Scholars have claimed that some of the "lamb of god" stuff was tacked-on from earlier myths of the dying god.

/just sayin'
//likes quotation marks
///not any kinda fundie
 
2006-04-06 05:16:01 PM
I can now say: I submitted this with a funnier headline....or maybee not.
 
2006-04-06 05:16:03 PM
Snarfangel: with the authentically-topless native girls?


Only if it's native Southern Californians.
 
2006-04-06 05:16:38 PM
Morning Star??? Isn't that LUCIFER in Hebrew?

The Morning Star is the SUN.
 
2006-04-06 05:17:34 PM
Snarfangel:
I take it you don't care for the version with the authentically-topless native girls?

I used to cut out those pictures and hide them under my mattress.
Ah, life before the Internets.
 
2006-04-06 05:19:36 PM
Gnostics, pfft. Magorn has it right, folks--they were the Scientologists of their day. "Join our cult, and for a low, low initiation fee you too can find out what those pesky 'Christians' WON'T tell you about their faith. Trust us--we know."
 
Displayed 50 of 420 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »





Report