Damn you Gottfried! Damn you! I'll beat you next year.

WE'RE NUMBER ONE! WE'RE NUMBER ONE!

/oh,wait...

lol, Nickleback.

47. Andy Dick: It's a trap!

Andy looks nothing like Admiral Ackbar.

Da dum, da da da da dum.
da dum, da da da da dum.

Dr. Phil! Mmmm.

Carrot Top should've been WAY higher on the list than #16.

They put Adama on the list. No fair, he is old as hell.

I was having lunch with Charles Manson the other day, and he said, "It it hot in here, or am I just crazy?"
--Gilbert Gottfried

Where's Drew?

/drtfa

sugarpop: Carrot Top should've been WAY higher on the list than #16.

The old carrot top or the new, weirdly muscular carrot top?

Farked already? Damn....

Capt. Happy Hour was robbed!!!

Farked already.

Farked: Server too busy.

server farked....

/hope I am not on the list
//crosses fingers

That was quick...

Putting Colmes on the list isn't really fair, 'cause he's not a real person. He's a twisted hybrid of a scarecrow, a dartboard, and a cardboard cutout.

Yeah but Gilbert still cracks me up.

No way? Anyone see The Aristocrats?

Gilbert is some sort of God.

/equal to but below Bob Saget.

Diogenes: Well, that error page is pretty ugly.

That's the default error page for a .NET server, afaik. Could be for all IIS apps though, idunno.

She comes in colors everywhere: Gilbert is some sort of God.

Yeah, I thought putting Jackson, Bin Laden, etc. after Gottfried seemed unfair.

"I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked."
-Gilbert Gottfried

So much for that 'A man with a sense of humor' woman crappola.

from google cache:

The 100 unsexiest men in the world
Who would Scarlett least like to be with?

3/31/2006 12:27:08 PM
Welcome to the first installment of ThePhoenix.com's 100 Unsexiest Men in the World. After pouring through thousands of photographs, millions of frames of movies and TV shows, we have created a list of the least sexy males on the planet. Don't agree with our findings? Send us a letter or give a comment on the bottom of this page.

1. Gilbert Gottfried: Rumor has it that Gilbert is the heir apparent to Uncle Milty when it comes to what he's packing, but that still can't save him. The parrot-voiced, pickled-face comic is to sexy what Kryptonite is to Superman.

2. Randy Johnson: If he couldn't throw a ball 100 miles per hour, Johnson would be wearing a wife beater and getting hauled into a squad car on Cops. Could you imagine the nights when he pitched to Otis Nixon?

3. Roger Ebert: Yes, he lost all that weight. Yes, you still wouldn't fark him.

4. Dr. Phil: Being a know-it-all is never sexy. Being a know-it-all who is also a bald-headed prick is downright horrid.

ADVERTISEMENT5. Alan Colmes: Not really fair, since he's got to sit next to brown shirt-stud Hannity each night. But Colmes - lazy eye, unkept hair, droopy features - has a face made for radio. Pirate radio. Garr!!

6. Chad Kroeger: It's not just the massive head, weird face, and bad hair. It's also the fact that he's in Nickelback, the worst band since the dawn of music.

7. Mike Mills: You'd want to talk music with the bassist from REM. Sleep with? Not unless you're trying to get to Pete Buck.

8. Osama Bin Laden: Power is sexy (notice how Dick Cheney isn't on the list). But a 6'5", no-vertical-leap mass murdering douche bag is not getting any style points.

9. Jay Leno: "It would be like having sex with a banana, but not in a good way," was what one of our staffers remarked about the fruit-headed comic.

10. Don Imus: "It would be like having sex with an old leather bag, but not in a good way," was what the same staffer remarked about the bag of skin and bones.

11. Michael Jackson: What happens when an ugly JC Penny manequin has sex with Pogo, the clown identity of serial killer John Wayne Gacy.

12. Wallace Shawn: Even if you're attracted to his rounded dome, how can anyone get past that nasally lisp?

13. Mike D. of the Beastie Boys: We hate to do this. But the sickly looking Beastie "did it like this, did it like that, did it with a wiffle ball bat . . . because no one would want to get within three feet of him naked.

14. Richard Simmons: Words don't do it justice.

15. Jon Lovitz: Bald, annoying, unfunny, and hair in the all the wrong places. For all we know, he was running through the cast of League of Their Own. But we doubt it.

16. Carrot Top: Sheer obnoxiousness necessitates his placement on this list.

17. Jerry Seinfeld: This is for everyone who has ever yelled at the TV when Jerry brought home another model on Seinfeld.

18. Malcolm Gladwell: The Tipping Point.

19. Chevy Chase: He got unfunny with age. Then he got ugly.

20. Raffi: Maybe it's his proffession. But no one surveyed, man or woman, could think of any situation in which they would bed down with him.

21. Ron Howard: He was cute as Opie, passable as Richie, but now as Ron Howard, he's just plain weird-looking. Especially with a beard.

22. Clint Howard: Ron's younger, balder, and weirder-looking brother. Yes, weirder looking than Ron Howard.

23. Bill Gates: To quote Dana Carvey: "Gates apparently made a deal with the devil 'You can have $60 billion, but you have to go through life looking like a turtle.'"

24. Paul Shaffer: The bic'd look does not work for everyone, plus he makes all those crazy faces while he plays.

25. Axl Rose: I mean . . . did you see the 2003 VMAs?

26. Tim Burton: He's got the Robert Smith hair coupled with a mighty hunch. Yet he's dating Helena Bonham Carter.

27. Edward James Olmos: Remember season one of South Park? When Kenny was a zombie, everyone assumed it was an Edward James Olmos costume. Wonder why.

... all i have, next page isn't cached

when GG told this one at the denis leary (?) roast, i laughed:

"Harry answers the telephone, and it's an Emergency Room doctor.
The doctor says, "Your wife was in a serious car accident, and I have bad news and good news. The bad news is she has lost all use of both arms and both legs, and will need help eating and going to the bathroom for the rest of her life."
Harry says, "My God. What's the good news?"

The doctor says, "I'm kidding. She's dead."

Can't read the list, but I'm guessing Tom Petty and Don Rickles are both in the top ten.

Jerry Seinfeld: This is for everyone who has ever yelled at the TV when Jerry brought home another model on Seinfeld.



That's gold, Jerry! GOLD!

Carrot Top went from annoying to scary. Seriously, when I see him now I want to run screaming from the room.

Why the fark did he bulk up?

I figure I am in there somewhere.

/Lucky to be married
/Maybe she should have the presciption for her glasses checked.

A good list, but the ordering is bad: Richard Simmons is #14.

Bill O'Reilly should be on that list for sheer obnoxiousness.

FYI- ALL guys are unsexy.

I would probably rank # 15 since I've been told I look like Jon Lovitz a bunch of times. Ugggh!

I like that Axel Rose is on there. Why, I remember back in the mid 80's he was the shizzle......Of course that was before all the plastic surgery made him look like Howdy Doody.

/Wasn't a big GnR fan.
//Ratt was really the shizzle.

Google cache of page 2:

http://72.14.203.104/search?q=cache:mzMGe9185VgJ:www.phx.com/Article.aspx%3Fid %3D7852%26page%3D2+&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=1

Hmm... not in the "top" 27; I must be on page 2 somewhere.



/probably should label it "NSFW"

Chris Rock? Tiger Woods? Elton John? Prince Charles? I need the rest of that list!!

Gilbert was great in The Aristocrats.

They said john lovitz isn't funny. This list has no credibility.



--Gizmo, that show rocks

They probably still get laid more than some of you.

4. Dr. Phil: Being a know-it-all is never sexy. Being a know-it-all who is also a bald-headed prick is downright horrid.

I concur!

27. Edward James Olmos: Remember season one of South Park? When Kenny was a zombie, everyone assumed it was an Edward James Olmos costume. Wonder why.

That's not very nice...I think he's studly in his own way. I like the take charge attitude in Galactica. Not that I'd ever "go there" with him.

Chad Kroeger UNsexy??? You got to be kidding!-- he defines the word sexy! He's like a Greek God. I get goosebumps just watching him! Who's opinion is this anyways, a man's??? And since when is a multiplatinum band considered the worst?! This article is completely ridiculous, immature, and disrespectful.

POSTED BY stumped AT 04/01/06 12:44 AM

Someone needs to get that girl (or guy) a life.

I don't know where Bruce Villanch falls on that list, but I'd rather do Edward James Olmos over that pasty man-walrus.

It's so uncool to insult Edward James Olmos. He's so fracking cool (yes, I know). He's like, "I'm a military god, now be good citizens and STFU while we figure out how to pwn the cylons." The people are like, "OMG fine since you're such a military god n stuff. We'll be good and only do some black market stuff and try to kill your son."

So...glad...didn't...have...lunch...

*uuurrrp...*

Gilbert Gottfried went onstage during a roast and, claiming that Ice-T had stolen all his jokes, proceeded to do portions of Ice-T's routine. Watching Gilbert Gottfried scream, "I'm gonna rape all you white biatches!" was comedy platinum.

Possibly comedy uranium.

Shouldn't K-Fed be number one?

SWK?

Anyone who saw "The Aristocrats" would have more respect for GG.

"Being a know-it-all is never sexy. Being a know-it-all who is also a bald-headed prick is downright horrid."

Awwww, man. That describes me to a 't'.

/do I at least get points for not having that nails-on-a-chalkboard Dallas accent??
// btw in this context it's "poring", not "pouring"... just to prove I'm a know-it-all.

Screw this google caching: time for wholesale copying:

28. Gerard Way (from My Chemical Romance): Luckiest dude since Ringo. Or at the very least, since D12.

29. Don Zimmer: The gerbil's got a massive, ivory-white noggin' that never did much thinking to begin with. Ask any Red Sox fan over 35.

30. Tony Kornheiser: Yes, calling sportswriters unattractive is like shooting fish in a barrel. But come on, he looks like your uncle.

31. Chris Kattan

32. Otis Nixon
ADVERTISEMENT

33. Julian Tavarez

34. Christopher Lloyd

35. Willie McGee

36. Pat Cummings

3 TERRIFIED YET: You don't want to be with Busey 7. Scottie Pippen

38. Larry David

39. Michael Moore

40. Al Franken: Too arrogant

41. Paris Latsis: Maybe not the worst-looking guy in the world, but, well, think about who was there first.

42. Rush Limbaugh: No doubt he will claim his placement on this list as a result of a media bias and not the fact that he's just butt-ugly

43. David Gest

44. Garey Busey: Those teeth would give anyone nightmares.

45. Nick Nolte: Busey's oddball partner in crime, but at least he had a career once.

46. Leif Garrett

47. Andy Dick: It's a trap!

48. Scott Stapp

49. Lyle Lovett

IT'S TRUE: This guy is married to a Russian model50. Ric Ocasek: Yes, we know who his wife is. And no, we don't care.

51. Bill Wyman

52. Danny DeVito

53. Peter Jackson

54. Drew Carey

55. Newt Gingrich

56. Rob Schneider

57. Ed O'Neil: We love ya, Ed, but sorry. There was a reason you never waited on any really hot girls at that shoe store.

58. Bill O'Reilly

59. Clay Aiken: This feels like a cheap shot, but even leaving aside the rumors about his personal life, he still looks like someone's bratty little brother.

60. Joe Lieberman

61. Jim Gaffigan: Pasty, goofy-looking comedians abound on this list.

62. Bill Maher: . . . Especially ones with poodle hair.

63. John Popper

64. Dennis Miller

65. John Madden: Those massive hands seem more frightening than anything. Boom!

HE MAY LOOK OKAY HERE: But he plays Freddy Krueger66. Robert Englund: Seriously, try lying in bed next to him without thinking about Freddy Krueger.

67. Robert Patrick: Seriously, try lying in bed next to him without thinking about the T-1000

68. John Ashcroft

69. Joe Gannascolli

70. Kevin James: His TV marriage to Leah Remini on King of Queens is less believable than anything on Lost.

71. George Steinbrenner: Come on, we live in Boston, you knew it was coming.

72. Grady Little: Come on, we live in Boston, you knew it was coming.

73. Harvey Pekar

74. DJ Qualls: What's he weigh, like, 70 pounds? How much of that is grease?

75. Joey Buttafuoco

76. Garry Shandling

77. Meat Loaf Aday

78. Joe Walsh

79. Tom from Myspace: What, you gotta be everyone's friend? Isn't that a little needy? Not hot at all.

80. Art Garfunkel

81. Brian Posehn

82. Howie Mandel

83. Barry Bonds If what his mistress told the authors of Game of Shadows is true, then no, you don't want any part of that

84. Dick Vitale Call it a hunch, but we have a feeling that sex with Dickie V. would be anything but "awesome, baby."

85. Richie "La Bamba" Rosenberg

86. Jeff Van Gundy

87. Jimmy Johnson: It's the hair

88. John Clayton: How is this ESPN's top football guy?

89. Don Vito: I suppose we were never really supposed to know what Bam Margera's uncle looks like, but since we do, he has to be included.

90. Lemmy Kilmister: Sadly, the ravages of time have not been kind to him.

91. Hideki Matsui

91. Jose Canseco: "Every time I have tried to help a woman, I've been incarcerated," he famously said on The Surreal Life. You old charmer, you.

ALSO NOT HOT: Poseurs who are allergic to being photographed without their wives.92. Bill Parcells: Especially when you see the photos of him in shorts at training camp

93. Ric Flair: To be the man WOO! you got to . . . do something about those man boobs!

94. Ralph Nader

95. Dennis Kucinich: Something about those progressives.

96. Horatio Sanz: Laughing at your own jokes is not sexy

97. Dom DeLuise

98. Emeril Lagasse

99. Kevin Federline: Mooching hicks aren't so hot these days.

100.Brad Pitt: He may look good, but if the rumors about his hygiene and BO issues are true, then he's probably not worth it.


Too bad they got bored with the commentary - I'm waiting for their explanation of Emeril. Sure, he's not sexy, but I doubt he belongs on this list.

BRAD PITT!?

Actually, KFed was here in Atlanta last week doing some sort of appearance at a night club and a morning radio interview.

Out of that "watching a trainwreck" sensibility I listened to a bit of the interview.

It was interesting, my opinion of him actually changed.

Now I think he's even more of a talentless gold digging moran than I did before. Amazing.

So Gottfried is spose to be hung like Uncle Milty?

Whats worse than Rick Ocasek? Rick Ocasek next to Steven Tyler....

http://www.bobgruen.com/potda/0303/STyle030310R717.gif

//shivers....

no David Spade? Smarmy!
no Dave Attell? Funny but no
No Michael "Kramer" Richards?

apparently, the list isn't long enough!

Haha, Dennis Miller got 58th. I think Don Deluise got like 97th. That's saying something if Don is considered sexier than you.

Oh, I'd love for Dennis to get hold of this list.

Mike D should NOT be on that list. (now I'm going to go and read the rest)

Andy Dick was robbed, he should be up in the top five.

Sorry, 64th.

/still

BoilermakerSpartanCardinal: Steven Tyler

seriously, seriously belongs on that list.

Is Tim Burton on that list?

How is Howard Stern not on that list? He is freakishly ugly

Shirley Ujest: Is Tim Burton on that list?

ctrl+F "T-i-m b-u-r-t-o-n"

yup.

Complete with a smarmy comment about Helena Bonham Carter.

helena....
/drool

2006-04-03 01:55:46 PM ateksuni


Actually, KFed was here in Atlanta last week doing some sort of appearance at a night club and a morning radio interview.

Out of that "watching a trainwreck" sensibility I listened to a bit of the interview.

It was interesting, my opinion of him actually changed.

Now I think he's even more of a talentless gold digging moran than I did before. Amazing.

Thanks a lot...I'm proctoring a test and it's supposed to be quiet, and there you go making me laugh out loud.

#54- Drew Carey
#73- Harvey Pekar
#94- Dennis Kucinich

CLEVELAND TRIFECTA, BABY!!

/not sure I feel comfortable with this
//checks mirror

MidaBabe

Thanks a lot...I'm proctoring a test and it's supposed to be quiet, and there you go making me laugh out loud.

Anytime, hon!!!

How did Joe Jackson not make this list?

Jon Lovitz is doing Subway ads now...



I'm not sure if Subway has upped their advertising budget a bit, or if Jon Lovitz has sunk to a new low.

So Gottfried is spose to be hung like Uncle Milty?

I know EWWWWWWWWWWWWW

I'm trying not to visualize Mr. Gottfried trying to mount a woman from behind, flapping his arms and screaming "AFLAAAAAC".

Ape Shiat Nuts: Hmm... not in the "top" 27; I must be on page 2 somewhere.

If that's really you, you aren't that bad. At least you look like a nice guy, and to me, that matters more than looks.

/just sayin

66. Robert Englund: Seriously, try lying in bed next to him without thinking about Freddy Krueger.

"I'm your boyfriend now, Nancy." [tongue-tongue-tongue]

Unavailable for comment.

Gilbert Gottfried is one funny guy.

Jim Gaffigan is the hottest man on the list. He shouldn't be anywhere near the top 100 ><

Korovyov: I'm trying not to visualize Mr. Gottfried trying to mount a woman from behind, flapping his arms and screaming "AFLAAAAAC".

I'm trying to resist the simultaneous urges to laugh my ass off and vomit, as that could make a mess.

my wife has a thing for Raffi.

/ring ring ring, banana phone

Gizmorocks

Jon Lovitz is way funny. He steals scenes in every movie he's in.

But yeah he belongs on the list.

Mike D? Are you stupid? The one girl reading this, please say you'd fark Mike D.

Have you seen Mike D lately? He looks dead.

Where is Drew on this list?

//mean spirited

He's like a catcher's mitt with eyes!

Pxtl

Korovyov: I'm trying not to visualize Mr. Gottfried trying to mount a woman from behind, flapping his arms and screaming "AFLAAAAAC".

I'm dyin here!

Korovyov: I'm trying not to visualize Mr. Gottfried trying to mount a woman from behind, flapping his arms and screaming "AFLAAAAAC".

Damn you Korovyov! Damn yooooooooooouuuuuu!

28. Gerard Way (from My Chemical Romance): Luckiest dude since Ringo. Or at the very least, since D12.

Aw, I kinda like the semi-deranged, strung-out, goth-dude-with-red-eyeshadow look...

/kidding
//or am I?
///so goth I sh*t bats
////slashies!

WHERE IS bruce vilanch on that list?

No Baba Booey or Howard Stern??

NONE of the rolling stones?

i thought dom deluise was dead?

iggy pop-undead
lou reed-zombie

this was written by a man right?

Jerry Lewis was rather unsightly when his head was, quite literally, the size of a beach ball.

hey, where's studman69?

Who, or what, the fark is that, Valacirca!?!?! What's wrong with his chin?

Surprised that anchorman Frunell Chatman (sp??) isn't on that list.

/L.A. Farkers would know who he is

carrot top is pretty bad, but at least he has all his hair. where is the uglier prop man gallagher?

stephen hawking?

c'mon this list stinks.

Did a guy or girl write this?

The guy is awesome and all but he ain't pretty. Ditto

if i was a model and had to choose between george costanza, kramer or jerry. i would hafta go with jerry.

Jared from Subway not #1? Clearly who ever made up this list is an idiot.

And Jon Lovitz is a genius.

Trylan

WHERE IS bruce vilanch on that list?

I don't understand how that troll ever got a job. I think Whoopi Goldberg said he was the funniest guy she ever met. Tells you a lot about Whoopi.

Not funny. Either one.

I think Bruce may have his own special list. Like the "Not with your dick" list.

IamEvil WTF is that thing?

/goggles do nothing.

Occam'sLadySchick: iggy pop-undead
lou reed-zombie



forgot walken. just the creepiness factor alone makes him seem like a real boogeyman. (gotta love him tho')

Most of those guys have lots of money, and are therefore deemed sexy by many women.

This list should be renamed;

"List of men without a big gay following."

just to be on the safe side, they shoulda put bea arthur on there.


/i could go on and on

BoilermakerSpartanCardinal
Whats worse than Rick Ocasek? Rick Ocasek next to Steven Tyler....

That was just horrid. Just horrid!

/shudders

2006-04-03 02:42:21 PM trapped-in-CH

IamEvil WTF is that thing?

/goggles do nothing.

That thing is Bruch Vilanch. Ugliest thing evar!

I think John Kerry should be on the list. The man looks like, to borrow a phrase from Conan, "a bloodhound's scrotum."

bahahahahaha Tom from MySpace

chago04: a phrase from Conan,



conan is no prince either. i'd hafta put him above leno. but maybe i just got used to looking at leno after all these years.

Drew Carey?? He's as cute as a button on a pocket.

What, no Ann Coulter?

/Thankgu, thangu, I'll be here all week

recent mike d: http://i.imdb.com/mptv1.gif
kinda scary.

IamEvil

You farking bastard. After seeing that, I just cut my penis off and threw it out the window.

So Wallace Shawn isn't sexy. But he is one of the smartest men I've ever met.

INCONCIEVABLE!

What the hell happened to carrot top anyway??!

Clint Howard ranked beneath Ron Howard?

Clint Howard ranked beneath ANYONE?!

I call shenanigans. The man is a farkin' ogre.

Quentin Tarantino didn't make the list?????

David Guest?

WTF is up with Carrot top? Is he wearing eyeliner and lipstick in that pic? He looks like one of those buff bodybuilding chicks.

Uh...why does Carrot Top have boobies?

Tom Leykus didn't make the list? Best radio face EVAR.

yeah, i'd hafta put clint howard at the very top too.

what about prince charles AND his noble steed?

yeah, quentin tarrantino is pretty bad. he joins walken and these 2 in the creepy catagory. krispin glover, steve buscemi

Clint may be ugly but he has delicious Tranya for you to drink!

Hey, you guys farked our server.

/No, really.
//Lenny's gonna be pissed.

Mike D was sexy back in the day, but now he looks sort of sickly. I also think Gerard Way is sexy.

'Meo-YIKES....What in the hell is a Bruce Vilanch?'

Bruce Vilanch

Dired

Is that really Carrot Top, or just a very confused TV in search of the right look?

Why "or?"

Carrot Top lives here in Orlando. He used to work out at the YMCA that I go to. He's freaking huge.

And yes, he always wears makeup. Don't ask me why, maybe to cover the freckles, but he wears it all of the time.

But I won't question him. He's likely to kick my ass with those 24 inch pythons he's packing.

Where's Hitler?

Valacirca
Oh Z'No!

Hey Robert Patric is hot in an intense middle aged guy way, T-1000 or no T-1000.

Trail Mix

28. Gerard Way (from My Chemical Romance): Luckiest dude since Ringo. Or at the very least, since D12.

Aw, I kinda like the semi-deranged, strung-out, goth-dude-with-red-eyeshadow look...


I'm not goth at all (aside from a tendancy to like some of the more luxurious clothes) and I think he's kinda cute in a 'little lost waif' kinda way myself. But then, I have always had a soft spot for girly boys in eyeliner, particularly if they give good puppy-dog eyes.

Abagadro

Clint may be ugly but he has delicious Tranya for you to drink!

Heh, after watching the glory that is Ice Cream Man, I have no doubt that Clint's got Tranya-flavored ice cream in his ice cream truck of doom.

/Clint's so ugly that he has to sneak up on a glass of water to keep himself from dehydrating

What about that fat drunk, killer etc from Mass?

24. Paul Shaffer: The bic'd look does not work for everyone, plus he makes all those crazy faces while he plays.

I have no opinion on his sexyness. He is a guy.

But I think it is some sort of musician's union rule that they all make crazy faces while they play. Can some musician verify this.

Why is Michael Jackson only #11?

Got ya all beat



Grand Vizier of Uglistan
Otis Nixon

I...what...who...

Is carrot top turning into a lesbian? I thought it was a body building woman too.

ilbert Gottfried is No. 1

I thought chicks liked funny guys.

/Oh...

Toshiro Mifune - You sir are my new favorite farker. Ice Cream Man is ALL I think of when I think of Clint Howard...

Jaws is my favorite all-time movie too, coincidentally.

Pxtl: Complete with a smarmy comment about Helena Bonham Carter.

helena....
/drool

Are you serious? She's scary! She looks like this girl I went to high school with that would pee her pants, eat her boogers, and had the most horrendous B.O. on the planet, and who wore the weirdest clothes ever (think floor length crushed velvet gown w/ rabbit fur coat and silver shoes that did not match). Also, K-Fed should've been in the top 5, simply because he's so greasy, dirty and skanky looking! I find it amazing that the world's most talentless pop star could have found the world's most talentless aspiring rapper. They are a match made in hell, both dirty, nasty, idiotic mouth-breathing cretin hillbillies. I am just so shocked that they actually found each other, Match.com couldn't have done a better job putting these two together, although they should have been sterilized so they couldn't breed!

/Boy, I sure do hate K-Fed!
//And Brit-Brit

The funniest comment was way early...

"But Colmes - lazy eye, unkept hair, droopy features - has a face made for radio. Pirate radio. Garr!"

p.s. Clint Howard is one notch more hittable than Ron Howard?!?!

Clint Howard:
http://pushthepulldoor.com/images_contextual/clint.gif

Ron Howard:
http://images.scotsman.com/2005/09/20/20ronb.jpg

I'm sorry, but I think Lyle Lovett is the sexiest man on earth, and I would hit him 45 x 45 times, I don't care what he looks like.

Jeez

Gottfried is a funny little fellow!

VARoyalty:
Are you serious? She's scary



Slaps VARoyalty with his doe skin glove.
Squirt guns at dusk sir.
HBC. Hmm. I would lick her barking spider anyday.
Agree with you about Cletus and Lurleen though.

"Are you serious? She's scary! She looks like this girl I went to high school with that would pee her pants, eat her boogers, and had the most horrendous B.O. on the planet, and who wore the weirdest clothes ever (think floor length crushed velvet gown w/ rabbit fur coat and silver shoes that did not match)."


uh, wasn't that the chick from Breakfast Club?

Alan Colmes should be on the top 100 Ugly Insect List as Zorak's twin sister.

I cannot believe that Larry the Cable Guy isn't on this list. Because of him, I can understand why some women become lesbians.

Scarlett is the author's drag name.

um, there are an awful lot of jews on that list...what's up with that? why isn't kim jon illin' on that list as well?

speaking of which, ron jeremy, bill maher, howard stern, jason alexander, steve paymer, and the entire stiller clan need to be added as well...

Ersh

That's actor Robert Z'Dar. And yes, that's his real chin. He's been in a few movies featured on MST3K.

Yes, but is Gilbert Gottfried so ticked off that he's molting?

Am I here too late to make the obvious faux self deprecating joke about how I should be on the list?

Damn.

Crap, it looks like maybe he did make the list after all!

I believe this is #79.

...yes, his nipples are the same color as his skin...yes, those are pubes.

14. Richard Simmons: Words don't do it justice.

Richard Simmons? Why didn't they just include Liberace while they were at it.

Sloth love Gilbert!

How did Brian Peppers not make the list?

Geez Kukri!!!!! Warn us before posting pics like that! I don't think that's Carrot Top. I think it's Dave's daughter Wendy after a sex change & steroids.

Bruce Vilanch is Paul Lynde minus timing and delivery. Result, not funny.

Thank God. Nickelback is the worst thing to happen to music. Life. the human race. Everything. I am so glad the douch made this list.

SueDisco

Toshiro Mifune - You sir are my new favorite farker. Ice Cream Man is ALL I think of when I think of Clint Howard...

Jaws is my favorite all-time movie too, coincidentally.

w00t - thanks for the kind words!

Ice Cream Man was a revelation for me... just vintage Clint Howard. Follow that up with a Ticks and House of the Dead chaser, and you've got some good stuff.

And Jaws? Never, ever gets dull, always a blast, and the best film ever made... although I reserve judgment until Snakes on a Plane comes out.

/Clint Howard's performance in Ticks and Ice Cream Man should've netted him the #1 spot, easily.

Valacirca

He's like a catcher's mitt with eyes!

Whoa. The Maniac Cop sans makeup.

Not much difference.

/totally horrified to know that

How could axl rose make the list when he was doing Stephanie Seymour?!?!

bu11durm

How could axl rose make the list when he was doing Stephanie Seymour?!?!

He didn't. He made the list on 03-31-06.

all the comments saying Clay Aikin is sexy are making my skin crawl, bleech!