But does this mean crossing my fingers and yelling jinx won't work eathier?

/Doug Stanhope

Or spelling correctly

In fact, patients who knew they were being prayed for had a slightly higher rate of complications.

Classic.

They should try prayers to Satan next. If only because it would be a really amusing study to read.

Prayer doesn't appear to do a whole hell of a lot no matter how hard it's applied. But people insist it works.

Whatever.

Man. that's really going to make people mad :)

/grabs popcorn.

I prayed this article wouldn't get greenlit.

That's it, I'm gonna stop praying for cocaine bearing hookers to come to my apartment!

20 years of prayer, down that shiatter....

"I prayed this article wouldn't get greenlit."

Hey! It worked just like it does in real life!

*snort* Hee hee.

Actually it does work.

The problem is that there are an equal number of people praying for the heart patients to die already.

/please God, kill the sick, I'm running out of earplugs

God works in mysterious ways.

Hmmm...some people I've seen healed would beg to differ. There are so many medical miracles that DO happen and are completely unexplainable. Prayer doesn't work every time. God ain't a Coke machine. But...God can heal.

/Flame on...I'm not sticking around to watch

Take your pick:

*) God doesn't hear the prayers, in which case He is not omniscient.

*) God does hear the prayers, but can do nothing, in which case He is not omnipotent.

*) God does hear the prayers, and chooses to do nothing, in which case He is evil.

What? No "Where is your God now?" pics yet? I am disapointed.

I submitted this with a better headline:

New study, oddly not commissioned by Ric Romero, proves that the invisible man in the sky doesn't assist in heart surgery

So, we can all stop praying for Omarion, now?

*) God does hear the prayers, and chooses to do nothing, in which case He is neither good nor evil, since these are merely man mad conventions that can not adequately describe the motivations of a divine being.

*) There is no God.

Aren't there a buttload of studies that show the exact opposite of this (or so my religious grandmother has lead me to beleive)? It doesn't make sense that the placaebo affect would not rear its ever-present head in this case. I call shenagins.

/atheist leaning agnostic

Saw this on CNN. Obvious tag screamed to me. Went to Fark to submit. Found it two posts down, obvious tag already attached.

"But...God can heal."

God doesn't heal people. People heal people.

Shouldn't it be the patients themselves who should be praying?

Just saying... Im agnostic, but shouldn't it be the dying person praying to Chebuz that will fix them, not just some random people?

When I was sick, I used to pray to God for a new heart. Then I figured out that God doesn't work that way. So I stole a heart and asked God to forgive me.

I volunteer at my local hospital. I visit the recovery ward for women who have recently had breast enhancement surgery. I lay my hands on them and pray for their recovery. Occasionally I anointed them with a sticky liquid. God be praised!

Prayer does not work. We can prove this with Terri Schiavo.

Lots and Lots and Lots of people prayed for her to get better (including the Pope & Billy Graham). She didn't.

Therefore, either a) God does whatever the hell he wants, your prayers notwithstanding (which means praying is a waste of your time) or b) nobody's listening at all when you pray and you'd be better off jogging.

*) There is no spoon.

Yet more lies from secular god-hating scientists, propagated by the liberal progressive media.

Why do you think America is going down the crapper people? IT'S BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE FALLING AWAY FROM GOD!! SHEESH GET A CLUE YOU STUPID LIBERALS! THERE IS YOUR PROOF!

I wish more people would pray for the damn liberals to get out of here and go to Canada or Mexico so our country could reclaim they greatness liberalism has cost us.

Obvious, indeed.

Actually, God works on commission.

/just sayin'

God Answers Prayers Of Paralyzed Little Boy

'No,' Says God

--Onion

Vygramul,

See #3. Evil.

1. Why isn't the past tense of "pray" "praid"?

2. Yes, I submitted this with a different headline. Something along the lines of "God doesn't listen to New York, wich tainted the results."

"such a study cannot disprove His existance."

Had you read the article, you would have no doubt seen that disproving God's existant was not the point.

"It could be that God answers prayers all the time for cancer patients, but that whenever a study is going to be conducted, He does not"

So what are you saying? God is self-consious and would rather himself remain a mystery at the expense of cancer patient's lives. Class act, that.

When my friend was diagnosed with a brain tumor, his parents had a bishop come over and pray for him. About 2 years later, when he found a doctor who was pioneering a treatment for his type of tumor, he underwent surgury, chemo and radiation. Now they can't find any tumorous material, but people still said "Wow, that's a miracle." Nope! That's SCIENCE. Praying does exactly DICK.

/no gods, no masters, no demons, no ghosts

Bumber sticker that nearly made me wreck:

Nothing Fails Like Prayer

...and yes, it was on a hoopty. Had to be.

Prayer isn't like using an ATM. It's for your spiritual development, not for altering the laws of the universe.

Action Replay Nick

Bravo! Excellant delivery. The only thing that isn't spot on is a few obvious spelling errors are missing. 9.1 out of 10

DisneyOnIce:

[x] doesn't appear to do a whole hell of a lot no matter how hard it's applied. But people insist it works.

{x:prayer, ear candling, divining rods, crystals....}

OK, let's say that there is a God, who can heal the wounded and cure the sick. Why would he/she do so? Take, for instance, a case of bacterial pneumonia.

Yes, the sick person is one of God's precious creations. But so are the bacteria. Millions of tiny beings, all given the gift of life by the Lord. How can you ask for them to be destroyed? Don't they deserve his/her love every bit as much as you do?

After all, what are we humans when compared to the infinite majesty of the Almighty? No more than bacteria. The difference between us and them must be comparitively negligible.

Even in the case of non-infectious medical issues, how dare you ask God to deny decay microorganisms their meal?

And how could you, a mere nothing, even think to suggest any change in what must surely be God's divine plan?

It's amusing to see & hear of scientists and Farkers alike, trying to pound square pegs into round holes, then marveling that "it doesn't work".

Gosh.

Researchers emphasized their work does not address whether God exists or answers prayers made on another's behalf.

Oh wait, only on Fark can you run rampant and scream "there is no God, I didn't RTFA, therefore I feel justified."

New study, oddly not commissioned by Ric Romero, proves that the invisible man in the sky doesn't assist in heart surgery

That is your "better" headline? It tries too hard. Its like the guy that calls someone a crybaby, then goes on and on about it until it isn't funny (if it was ever funny to begin with)


"Yeah, well you're just a crybaby. A baby that cries. And poops his pants. And the poop stinks. So you sit and cry in your poopy pants that stink"

When Prayer does work, it's more likely a case of a Zebra Diagnosis, You know, if you hear hoofbeats it doesn't make sense to assume it's a Zebra (It's likely a horse)

http://www.zebracards.com/a-intro_lay.html

While a recovery may seem miraculous, it will have a grounding in science or at least logic. Prayer does have a net benefit, it brings people togther to do NOTHING to advance a cause save talk to God. Perhaps, just perhaps, after the Prayer they can go out as a group and pick up litter or feed a few homeless folks or take in an orphan or two.

Prayer may build community, but if all your community does is pray, it's achieving nothing.

flaminio: *) God does hear the prayers, and chooses to do nothing, in which case He is evil.

No, he's just tired of having all these dependents on his insurance.

"Even if all the things that people prayed for happened -- which they do not -- this would not prove what Christians mean by the efficacy of prayer. For prayer is request.

The essence of request, as distinct from compulsion, is that it may or may not be granted. And if an infinitely wise Being listens to the requests of finite and foolish creatures, of course He will sometimes grant and sometimes refuse them. Invariable "success" in prayer would not prove the Christian doctrine at all.

It would prove something more like magic -- a power in certain human beings to control, or compel, the course of nature."
--CS Lewis

LET me tell you all a story. When I was a kid I got hit in the head with a blunt object and it knocked me unconscious. While I was out, I saw a light and heard a voice calling me. I prayed and prayed that I wasn't dead, and God headed my prayers and brought me back. I lost a lot of blood and needed 16 stitches, but the Lord guided my doctors hands and delivered me from suffering.

So don't any of YOU damn secular progressives try to tell ME that prayer doesn't work. I know that it does.