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(Some Guy)   Here's to you, Ms. "Anyone Who Bogarts My Beer Is Fixin To Get Stabbed To Death" Lady   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
•       •       •

12075 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Mar 2006 at 4:28 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

48 Comments     (+0 »)
2006-03-20 12:55:58 PM  
Good God, I'm going to hell. That made me laugh out loud. At work.
2006-03-20 01:40:10 PM  
Easy fix for problems like this: Chew tobacco and use an empty can as a spittoon. People will grab one of your cans and drink from it *ONCE*. After that, no more problems...

I even managed to get out of an open container violation once. MP pulled me over and asked to see the beer can. I said "sure (spit), I've been using it as a spittoon all night". "Ahh, no thanks, that's all right". It was half full of beer and that was the first time I had spit in it...
2006-03-20 03:43:23 PM  
I've seen a ton of these articles via fark but the text in this...just felt wrong. Stabbed twice, once in the heart. WTFH

One of those cases that reminds me how horrible people can be.
2006-03-20 04:31:20 PM  
Jesus loves you more than you will know
2006-03-20 04:33:41 PM  
Something tells me this lady actually had plenty of beer. Plenty.
2006-03-20 04:34:34 PM  

I use a cigarette butt.
2006-03-20 04:34:36 PM  
I didn't think my ex-wife was allowed to leave the state.
2006-03-20 04:34:44 PM  
No function beer well without. Mmmmmmm, beer.
2006-03-20 04:35:16 PM  
Probably Coors or Buttweizer
2006-03-20 04:36:09 PM  
Live Free AND die!
2006-03-20 04:39:58 PM  
Yeah, there appears to be something missing in that the stabber's blood alcohol level, maybe?

Wow, people suck. How do you stab someone over a farking beer? That's an alcoholic crack whore if I ever did see one.
2006-03-20 04:40:16 PM  
Here's to you.
Here's to me.
The best of friends, we'll always be.
But if we ever disagree, stabbed to will be.
2006-03-20 04:40:45 PM  
Mr. Clarence Butterworth: Live Free AND die!

Live, Freeze, then Die

Ossipee - a place I go through to get to the Whites, and only stop if I really, really......really am low on gasoline.
2006-03-20 04:42:02 PM

/ Don't touch my beer, biatchhhhh
2006-03-20 04:42:23 PM  

Two things come to mind:

1. Yes, it is better to laugh at this sort of thing.

2. Gummo was redundant.
2006-03-20 04:42:43 PM  
Let's all put on our dancing shoes
And wear our shamrocks green
And toast our friends both here and there
And stab them in the spleen.
2006-03-20 04:44:22 PM  
May the road rise up to meet you;
May the wind be always at your back,
The sun shine warm upon your face,
The rain fall soft upon your fields,
And until we meet again
Here's a shiv in your farkin heart.
2006-03-20 04:45:29 PM  
There are many good reasons for drinking,
One has just entered my head,
If a man doesn't drink when he's living,
Never mind, I've just mercilessly stabbed you dead.
2006-03-20 04:47:53 PM  
May there always be work for your hands to do...
May you feel this as I strike back at you...
May the sun always shine on your windowpane...
May you never touch my farkin beer again...
May the hand of a friend always be near you...
May it clutch a knife to strike fear in you...
2006-03-20 04:49:57 PM  
Of all my favorite things to do,
The utmost is to have a brew.
My love grows for my foamy friend,
So much so that you've met your end.
Beer's so frosty, smooth, and cold
It's paradise -- pure liquid gold.
Yes, beer means many things to me
Including stabbing you incessantly.
2006-03-20 04:51:01 PM  
There are good ships,
And there are wood ships,
The ships that sail the sea.
But the best ships are friendships,
Except when you're a whore.
2006-03-20 04:52:04 PM  
There was an old lady from Groat
That lived on green apples and snot

. . .oh well, never mind.
2006-03-20 04:52:25 PM  
May you always be blessed
With walls for the wind,
A roof for the rain,
A warm cup of tea by the fire,
Laughter to cheer you,
Tthose you love near you,
And all that your heart might desire.

And I hope your heart desired a knife in it.
2006-03-20 04:52:51 PM  
Thank god alcohol is legal and that demon-weed is banned.

Or something.
2006-03-20 04:53:52 PM  
Here's to the perfect girl,
I couldn't ask for more.
She's deaf 'n dumb, oversexed,
and can wield a knife better than Crocodile Dundee.
2006-03-20 04:54:25 PM  
Friend of my soul, this goblet sip
'Twill chase the pensive tear.
But in this, our hallowed year,
'Tis not so sweet as this knife's tip
Stabbing straight at your nip.
2006-03-20 04:56:09 PM  
May your neighbors respect you,
Troubles neglect you,
The angels protect you,
Fark it, I hate you.
You're dead.
2006-03-20 04:57:37 PM  
May you be rich in blessings, poor in misfortune,
Slow to make enemies, quick to make friends.
But rich or poor, slow or quick,
Your death is coming right at you, slick.
2006-03-20 05:01:23 PM  
Stabbed in the heart and you're to blame. You give love a bad name.

/I think I lived with a woman like this once.
2006-03-20 05:02:28 PM

GIS for "Maureen McDonald". Obviously not her. Way too hard to do yoga when hammered.
2006-03-20 05:06:12 PM  
2006-03-20 05:09:23 PM  
bravo submitter
2006-03-20 05:15:32 PM  
2006-03-20 05:17:33 PM  
"I'd KILL for a beer right now."

I guess she meant it.

/I would too, for a Newcastle Brown Ale
2006-03-20 05:19:13 PM  
FarkingReading is my hero for today...
2006-03-20 05:22:57 PM  
thats a rough looking lady
2006-03-20 05:24:20 PM  
Wait, what's broken and needs "fixin'?"

/GOD I hate that.
2006-03-20 05:27:12 PM  
2006-03-20 05:29:40 PM  
Yes, indeed. FarkingReading, I tip my hat to ye.
2006-03-20 05:46:10 PM  
As far as I'm conserned you get triple points for correctly using "FIXIN'" in a sentence.
2006-03-20 05:46:52 PM  
I know how to spell concerned!!!
2006-03-20 06:37:58 PM  
I've been known to say the same about my whiskey.
2006-03-20 07:09:58 PM  
I just got stabbed to death over a beer.

So I'm really getting a kick out of most of these replies...
2006-03-20 07:16:48 PM  
Here's to the girl on the hill
If she won't do it, her sister will
Here's to her sister!
2006-03-20 08:21:15 PM  
2006-03-20 11:58:40 PM  
prowler8</b beat me to it.
2006-03-20 11:59:15 PM  
And apparently I suck at html tonight.
2006-03-21 08:08:17 AM  
Drink Your own beer or DIE
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