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(femalefirst)   Michael Jackson thinks if he does 300 push-ups a day he'll be macho enough for people to stop calling him weird and start buying his albums   (femalefirst.co.uk) divider line 97
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16516 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Mar 2006 at 12:48 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2006-03-08 10:34:18 AM  
oh like thats gonna work...

/mr obvious
 
2006-03-08 10:34:42 AM  
If I weighed 95lbs, I could do 300 push-ups too!
 
2006-03-08 10:35:50 AM  
That's more effective than taking off 300 Pull-Ups.

/big kid now
 
2006-03-08 10:37:43 AM  
people are always going to think he's weird, because he is. he's in fact a hideous freak. there are people who will always buy his albums, nobody knows why.
 
2006-03-08 10:37:47 AM  
Problem is, he has 6 year olds spotting hiim by laying on the floor.
 
2006-03-08 10:38:10 AM  
Why not?

It worked so well for this guy:

humoronastick.com

/sorry
 
2006-03-08 10:42:04 AM  
someone has got to tell this guy to give up already.
 
2006-03-08 10:44:23 AM  
He seems like your average guy-next-door to me.
 
2006-03-08 10:46:12 AM  
NikolaiFarkoff gets +2 points (would've been +3, but the delivery was somewhat heavyhanded).
 
2006-03-08 10:53:24 AM  
NikolaiFarkoff: That's more effective than taking off 300 Pull-Ups.

You just taught me to not drink coffee and TF at the same time.

/the more you know...
 
2006-03-08 10:54:33 AM  
NikolaiFarkoff: That's more effective than taking off 300 Pull-Ups.

Comedy gold!
 
2006-03-08 10:57:39 AM  
NikolaiFarkoff: That's more effective than taking off 300 Pull-Ups.

I can't see how I could improve on that.
 
2006-03-08 10:59:33 AM  
You might want to work on your voice too Michael.

Mike Tyson's pretty mean looking, but sounds camper than a row of pink tents.
 
2006-03-08 11:06:29 AM  
Maybe if he comes back as the one and only King of Pop, they'll bring back Captain EO at EPCOT. I've been pissed ever since I didn't get to see it when I was a kid.
 
2006-03-08 11:32:07 AM  
If he wants people to stop regarding him as a freak, here's a four step plan he can follow, to get that done:

1) Have his nose re-installed. He has to have it in a jar someplace.

2) Deep Tanning Lotion. Or, if that's too expensive, shoe polish.

3) Apologise. If possible, throw in the phrase "Man, I don't know what was wrong with me."

4) Start hanging out with people his own age.
 
2006-03-08 12:48:43 PM  
www.myimagebuddy.com

On the upside, with the quick addition of a sparkly white glove, I may be able to finally unload those "Make Your Own Miro" needlepoint throw-rug and pot-holder kits I lost my shirt on in the 80s.
 
2006-03-08 12:50:07 PM  
I wish I could do a pushup....
 
2006-03-08 12:52:42 PM  
he does need some testosterone (sp?)


maybe barry can hook him up
 
2006-03-08 12:52:49 PM  
Peachpicker ugh.

/the googles, etc
 
2006-03-08 12:53:04 PM  
2006-03-08 10:35:50 AM NikolaiFarkoff [TotalFark]
That's more effective than taking off 300 Pull-Ups.


Yeah, that's a winner.
 
2006-03-08 12:53:26 PM  
MJ is like what, 47? I can see him now getting all that test flowing through his system. Doesn't testosterone INCREASE libio? SOMEBODY STOP HIM!
 
2006-03-08 12:55:03 PM  
Michael Jackson doing 300 push-ups - unpossible.
Michael Jackson wearing a push-up bra - more likely.
 
2006-03-08 12:55:04 PM  
Why would he care about his "career"? Isn't he richer than God? He's certainly rich enough and has enough rich friends to be able to fark little boys daily until he dies. If he were into that which, mind you, he is not according to that trial thing.
 
2006-03-08 12:56:04 PM  
He said: "He's doing 300 push-ups a day and doing sit-ups. He's getting his muscles back."

Back? When did good 'ole Mikey have muscles to begin with? He should be more concerned with his high-pitched voice if he wanted to sell more albums - considering dogs can't open the mall doors.

\owns the Thriller album
\\my dog whines when it's played
\\\slashy-slashy
 
2006-03-08 12:56:07 PM  
Maybe he should EAT 300 Push-ups?
 
2006-03-08 12:57:24 PM  
bloobeary

Fsck it, the guy needs a life coach. Some guy who can tell him when he's being a tard. The problem is that people like Jackson probably can't cope with the concept of paying someone to disagree with him.
 
2006-03-08 12:57:59 PM  
What does he think "bulking up" is going to do? Make us think that he's NOT weird? I agree with bloobeary -- that would help the whole situation if he followed that four step plan.

/love Michael Jackson
//wished he would have never had surgery at all
///hope he makes a great comeback
 
2006-03-08 12:58:10 PM  
Oh, please... MJ wouldn't do 300 push-ups unless he were laying on top of a naked 12 year-old at the time.
 
2006-03-08 12:58:34 PM  
having a little arab boy underneath you doesn't count

/he is still in bahrain, right?
 
2006-03-08 01:00:34 PM  
damn you to hell Peachpiker, to HELL!
 
2006-03-08 01:01:51 PM  
The source of the story - img.fark.com - femalefirst!
 
2006-03-08 01:02:03 PM  
tiffanielarae

The only coming on people's backs Jacko is gonna do....

/sorry.
 
2006-03-08 01:02:11 PM  
"Why would he care about his "career"? Isn't he richer than God?"

Not even close, at one ponint in time he was loaded, but a life of rapeing little boys and buying amusiment parks and lawer bills has left the guy kind of tapped out, as of right now, he has defauted on paymens for his record library. The upside of this, maybe , Just maybe we can get Beatles tunes back in the possition of some actual Beatles.
 
2006-03-08 01:03:00 PM  
So you wanna be startin something?
I wanna rock with you.
Cause its human nature.
 
2006-03-08 01:05:44 PM  
300 Push ups? Has any checked to make sure there wasn't a small boy under him at the time?
 
sfl
2006-03-08 01:09:32 PM  
peachpicker...is that CarrotTop?

/vomits
 
2006-03-08 01:10:12 PM  
hahaha actually it's funny because my mom is friends with Carrot Top, and I've hung out with the guy a few times.


AT LEAST YOU HAVEN'T HAD CARROT TOP MOON YOU, I'M PARTIALLY BLIND AFTER THREE EXPOSURES
 
2006-03-08 01:10:45 PM  
Bonny Langford demonstrates the dangers of overdoing anabolic steroids:-

BEFORE
upload.wikimedia.org

AFTER
humoronastick.com
 
2006-03-08 01:11:33 PM  
Okay, let's get this over with.

Off The Wall rocks. So did Captain EO.

And you know it.
 
2006-03-08 01:13:10 PM  
cock pushups?
 
2006-03-08 01:13:45 PM  
Exercise will not quench your thirst for diaper moisture, Michael. Tisk, Tisk, Tisk.
 
2006-03-08 01:14:29 PM  
I think people think hes weird because hes sleeps with children?

or maby thats me!
 
sfl
2006-03-08 01:15:28 PM  
Holy shiat that IS CarrotTop! I went to his site. Steroids anyone?
 
2006-03-08 01:16:31 PM  
He should stick to the tried and true methods of getting back in the lime-light.

Step 1) Have a sex video (with hot chick).

Step 2) Tell everyone how much you hate it, fight against it, make a big scene.

Step 3) Appear next to any famous bombshell: Jessica Simpson, Britney Spears, pretend you hate the attention.

Step 4) Get a cameo role in any Quentin Tarrentino movie, kill someone (in movie).

Step 5) Profit, hire a great agent.
 
2006-03-08 01:18:02 PM  
sfl
Seen Trent Reznor lately? My God, I thought it was Henry Rollins when I saw him.
 
2006-03-08 01:18:18 PM  
I wish Gallagher would start a raging steroid hobby as well. Then: cage match!
 
2006-03-08 01:20:52 PM  
Michael Jackson thinks if he does 300 push-ups preschoolers a day he'll be macho enough for people to stop calling him weird and start buying his albums
 
2006-03-08 01:21:55 PM  
I think this is a good idea. Maybe he'll get as cut as R. Kelly.
 
sfl
2006-03-08 01:23:37 PM  
safeinsane

Haven't seen him lately. I don't get the buff thing. I wish I were skinny.
 
2006-03-08 01:25:21 PM  
CarrotTop uses supplements. Specifically creatine and protein. You can get that way with creatine/protein. I used to read bodybuilding magazines for weightlifting tips and he was in the magazines on a frequent basis (not for articles but "celebrity snapshots").
 
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