if half my family were in jail, i'd start a line of greeting cards for them too

and here she is

"It's important for prisoners' families to let them know they are not a disgrace."

Really? Man, if I had as many family members in prison as this chick I'd feel pretty disgraced.

Okay... let's here your suggestions for lines of cards that don't exist yet.

I was looking for one the other day... couldn't find one that worked:

So sorry about the gangrene. Maybe next time you'll listen when I tell you to go see a doctor.

Does anyone else find it funny that the "Ghettopoly" ad is ruinning at the top of this page?

/at least once in a while

Now we just need a line for addicts.

I hate to say it but this is a great idea.
Finding a segment of the population that no one is serving, then providing them a marketable product at a reasonable price is the very heart of capitalism.
My Hat Is Off.
I hope she makes a Million Bucks!

at two Wichita shops

I hope she sells a truckload of them to Fred Phelps' family sometime soon!

How about gift boxes for Preparation H?

Kind of ironic if you've ever driven past the Hallmark building coming off the turnpike into Lawrence.

That's one hell of a big structure. You keep driving past what seems like miles of Hallmark. I wonder how it compares to the Pentagon size-wise...

You'd think there'd be enough room in there to design a line of cards meant for prisoners.

I always wanted to exploit these untapped niches. For example, a card that says "Baby, I'm sorry I came in your ear".

This is the greatest thing for prisoners since 3-way calling!

"I know you're locked down
without any hope,
here's a nice card
and soap on a rope."

Is she hiring writers?

Happy birthday to my incarcerated friend,
Who's locked away till '32 with no hope of parole.
They took all the presents that I tried to send,
So I bribed Black Moe to lay off your cornhole.

ooohhh i got a good greeting card....

Baby I am sorry for all the flack, you may want to be tested, I have the clap.

Maybe we should help her out with a photoshop of potential cards?

Either Kill somebody or become their biatch.
Merry Xmas,
Mom.

Theres no disgrace in sucking a mass murderes cock for a pack of smokes.
Happy Valentines,
Mom

"While you're away
for ten to twenty
I'm farking your homies
and spending your money"

Here's one for Valentines Day I made up about 15 years ago:

If Love is like a hemorrhoid
would you be my Preparation H?

asmith993

Funny story. My Cousin used to sell that crap on a website. He's now on the run from the FBI.

I'm hoping this card
Will make you merry
Now you have something to read
While in solitary

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Don't pick up the soap,
If you don't want cack in you.

plorqk - "Now we just need a line for addicts."

O RLY?

Just in time for BTK's birthday

sidenote to BusyHands - Phelps is in Topeka

Based on her family decsription, this woman deserves kudos just for not being in jail

I work at a Hallmark here in Fayetteville (seriously), and you wouldn't believe some of the odd card requests we get from people. So good luck to her.

That being said, I really hate working there. And I didn't use the "I work for.." cliche either, but it was really tempting. :-P

J.Garcia,

based on your spelling, did you just get out?

They feed you baloney every day,
Or cheap-ass ham on plastic dishes,
So I thought I'd cheer you up and say:
This steak sure is delicious!

Ha-ha!

Mr.Clarence Butterworth
How about gift boxes for Preparation H?


is there a widespread epidemic of hemorrhoids in prison?

based on your spelling, did you just get out?


Good work. Keep that up and you will find a real teaching job soon!

"I hear you're going away for many a year!
Here's some KY for your rear!"

Whidbey Kind of ironic if you've ever driven past the Hallmark building coming off the turnpike into Lawrence.

That's one hell of a big structure. You keep driving past what seems like miles of Hallmark. I wonder how it compares to the Pentagon size-wise...

And that's just a manufacturing plant. Our biggest is in Liberty Missouri, and it's one-fifth the size of the pentagon if I remember correctly. It was the largest until the Pentagon was constructed as a matter of fact.

Wow, some of those cards are awful. The women on the front crying and downtrodden. They're really depressing. This could really work and be a great venture if the cards weren't so damned clip-art-esque and despondent. I mean, i know the subject matter we're dealing with, but sheesh...

"I didn't find anything appropriate," she said. "They didn't really touch home the way I wanted them to."

Joke rundown:

1)When it comes to touching, home is the least of your worries.
2)Why dangle 'home' over their heads?
3)When you're being farked in the shower, greeting card appropriateness is the least of your worries, so I hear.


My card:

Roses are red
Daisies are white
Hope you can deepthroat
And try not to bite.

remindme:
Wow, some of those cards are awful. The women on the front crying and downtrodden. They're really depressing. This could really work and be a great venture if the cards weren't so damned clip-art-esque and despondent. I mean, i know the subject matter we're dealing with, but sheesh...

That's what I was thinking. These cards are TERRIBLE.

Take this one for example:

"When the cell door closed,
my whole life was gone
in the blink of an eye."


Can't you just see an inmate asking around for that card?
"Excuse me, I'm looking for a card that says, 'What the fark have I done, my whole life is destroyed.' Do you have a card like that?"

True story: many years ago, I had a dinner party, and invited two single friends, thinking they might hit it off. They have a lovely time, and he gives her a lift home. Yay me, matchmaker.

The next morning, I cross paths with the woman in the equation, and after about five minutes, it dawns on me she's wearing the same clothes she wore to dinner last night.

Oh, my. I'm a little stunned (this is not typical behavior for either of them), but pleased they got along so well.

I inquire, she confirms. I try and express my pleasure, surprise and scandlization all at once, and it comes out word soup.


Her response,"Yeah, Hallmark doesn't make a card for this, do they?"

two words:

PHOTOSHOP CONTEST

(from TFA) In addition to her brothers, Guiden, 44, also has a nephew, an ex-brother-in-law and a friend in prison.

JEE-bus. Thoughtful woman she, but also kind of a jinx.

Haha, I remember a sketch like this from the short lived The Sketch Show.

It was rather hiliarious actually.

Isn't this what the Hallmark Mahogany line was for?

//Where's my ticket?

Any one see the boondocks on [Adultswim] last week?

Innovative.

/watch your cornhole, man

while your in for fifteen to life
and covering your sphincter in fear
I'm out here farking your wife
and drinking all you beer.

Thanks bro

LOL Jaffo...

s/your/you're/

With all the people she knows in prison they could start a prison gang.

/Her brothers and a nephew are in jail.
//What a family reunion.

i've always wanted to find a greeting card at hallmark or a drug store for children of divorce. it's strange how alienating something as simple as a greeting card can be.