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(ABC)   Firefighters attack blaze with hoses. Homeowner attacks firefighters with sword. Police attack homeowner with stun gun. The circle of life is complete   (abc6.com) divider line 68
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13327 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Mar 2006 at 9:00 AM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2006-03-01 09:02:44 AM
*ominous noises*
 
2006-03-01 09:03:41 AM
Lovely
 
2006-03-01 09:03:42 AM
Thank you submitter. Your headline started my day off with a chuckle.
 
2006-03-01 09:03:44 AM
I am hormonal, I have inside me....I won't finish what I was going to say.....
 
2006-03-01 09:03:52 AM
The article said there was smoke, but no report of fire....
 
2006-03-01 09:05:05 AM
Nice headline, submitter.
 
2006-03-01 09:06:29 AM
Does that firefighter have a son named Derek Vinyard?

www.cnn.com
 
2006-03-01 09:06:37 AM
THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE.
 
2006-03-01 09:07:00 AM
There can be only one.
 
2006-03-01 09:07:08 AM
Not a homeowner, either. Apartment-renter.
 
2006-03-01 09:08:54 AM
"attack blaze with hoses."

why is it... that i read that as "attack blaze with horses."
 
2006-03-01 09:10:10 AM
Golf clap to Submitter. Nice headline

\DNRTFA
 
2006-03-01 09:12:05 AM
Submitted this with better headline.

This URL to the Providence Journal article:
http://www.projo.com/blackstone/content/projo_20060301_sword1.12f497cb.html

Attacker found out that charred cardboard body armor taped to his body doesn't deflect Tasers.

/Zatoichi wannabe
//Only in Rhode Island
 
2006-03-01 09:13:36 AM
What, no post about a "thousand years of power"?
 
2006-03-01 09:14:01 AM
gezortenplotz: Submitted this with better headline.

No you didn't.
 
2006-03-01 09:14:02 AM
Headline should read:

Firefighters attack blaze with hoses. Homeowner attacks firefighters with sword. Police attack homeowner with stun gun. Magua eats heart of Gray Hair. The circle of life is complete

/Just sayin'...
 
2006-03-01 09:15:41 AM
I've got a thousand years of power! Come get it!
 
2006-03-01 09:15:53 AM
Now if only the cops got burned by the fire. THEN the circle would be complete.

/Now I am the master.
 
2006-03-01 09:17:27 AM
There can be only one good headline.

Someone's been modding "rock, paper, scissors" again?

More fodder for the sword-control advocates.
 
2006-03-01 09:18:30 AM
Crispy or Extra crispy?
 
2006-03-01 09:18:41 AM
Coach McGuirk: why is it that i read that as "attack blaze with horses."

I think assaulting a burning building with a heavy cavalry charge would, at the very least, be very entertaining to watch....
 
2006-03-01 09:19:02 AM
very nice
 
2006-03-01 09:19:05 AM
I liked the headline. Say, that reminds me, how did Ed Norton get to be such a badass in A.H. X? By the time he was in fightclub, my sister could have kicked his wimp ass.
 
2006-03-01 09:19:23 AM
I was sure after the first sentence that the story was someone drunkenly trying to put out the fire with his personal hose. Oh well.

/He killed me, Mal.
 
2006-03-01 09:22:59 AM
dittybopper, I think you are seriously underusing those "Last of the Mohicans" references. For instance, when the Huron Sachem gives his long speech about what the Huron are to do since the white man entered their lives. I posted that in an Iraqi thread and substituted Huron with Iraqi, and one of Bush's daughters got given to Muqtada al-Sadr and the other burned in fire yadda yadda.
 
2006-03-01 09:23:12 AM
bravo submitter

"attack blaze with hoses."

was there no water avalible at the time?
 
2006-03-01 09:24:39 AM
Laugh out loud headline!!!
 
2006-03-01 09:26:50 AM
40below: gezortenplotz: Submitted this with better headline.

No you didn't.



word
 
2006-03-01 09:26:59 AM
glenlivid, skinny guys with low body-fat can pack on a lot of visible muscle in a short amount of time if they work out constantly and eat tons of protein. Only takes a few months if you have the dedication. Afterwards he probably went back to his sandwich and bowl of Funions diet to look like a normal dude again.
 
2006-03-01 09:27:40 AM
I'm piling on the "stroke the submitter" bandwagon.
Nicely done, sir.
 
2006-03-01 09:29:05 AM
bbcrackmonkey, was yours the one that ended with 'Tony Blair, go in peace'? If so, well done.
 
2006-03-01 09:30:13 AM
Police later returned to the apartment, and officers say Orsos threatened them with a CANE sword.

They tazed him 4 times? What a bunch of pussies
 
2006-03-01 09:30:20 AM
bbcrackmonkey, you may have a point. I'm going to have to reassess my LOTM references. Although, quite frankly, Magua (more properly, Wes Studi's portrayal of Magua) is what makes that movie.

Another possibility is to look at the little chat between Magua and the Marquis de Montcalm. Might be some more good meat in there besides the 'eat his heart' line.
 
2006-03-01 09:31:14 AM
plong: I'm piling on the "stroke the submitter" bandwagon.
Nicely done, sir.


Quick, someone fetch an animated GIF of a little girl saying "THAT'S SEXIST!"

/just kidding
 
2006-03-01 09:32:20 AM
FriarPablo, yes indeed it was. I wasn't sure if anyone even read it, it was at the end of the thread that I thought of it.

Here it is recreated in its entirety:

www.mohicanpress.com

The white man came, and night entered our future with him. Our Imams have asked the question since I was a boy: What are the Iraqi to do?
Sadr is a great war captain, but his path has never been the Iraqi one.
Sadr take younger daughter of Bush so that Bush's seed doesnt die and Sadr's heart is healed.
American officer will go back to the Americans so their hatred burns less bright.
Dark child of Bush will burn in the fire for Sadr's dead children.
Tony Blair, go in peace.
 
2006-03-01 09:33:44 AM
www.spassmonkey.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk
Agthar, flame panda, is mildly impressed
 
2006-03-01 09:35:32 AM
i2.tinypic.com
Unavailable for comment

\\ tinypic
 
2006-03-01 09:36:02 AM
Don't get me wrong, Dittybopper, I think your Magua things are hilarious. When Magua ate the Terminator's CPU and put Robert Mugabe's land redistribution policies under the knife, I was there, laughing all the way behind my computer screen. I've also seen you reference the whole "Magua understands that the white man is a dog to his women line" only twisted to fit the context and I LOLed at that too.
 
2006-03-01 09:38:45 AM
The circle would be complete only if the cops were set on fire.
 
2006-03-01 09:40:35 AM
Kudos to the submittter, that was one sweet headline!
 
2006-03-01 09:45:30 AM
I'm guessing there's about a 99.9% chance that either drugs or psychosis were involved.
 
2006-03-01 09:46:05 AM
There can be only one?
 
2006-03-01 09:49:17 AM
Wait - this happened in Woonsocket?? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Woonsocket is easily the worst place in Rhode Island, and that's saying a lot. It's dirty, it's inaccessible to everyone who's not from there, it takes RI corruption to a whole other level, and its a half hour from the nearest ANYTHING. What a waste....
 
2006-03-01 09:50:32 AM
bbcrackmonkey

Don't get me wrong, Dittybopper, I think your Magua things are hilarious. When Magua ate the Terminator's CPU and put Robert Mugabe's land redistribution policies under the knife, I was there, laughing all the way behind my computer screen. I've also seen you reference the whole "Magua understands that the white man is a dog to his women line" only twisted to fit the context and I LOLed at that too.


Worry not, I took it as constructive criticism of the most begnin kind. No offense was taken, and it actually got me thinking. Sometimes people need a kick to get out of a rut. Or Rutland.
 
2006-03-01 09:51:52 AM
But who does the fire attack, hmm? The circle is not complete.
 
2006-03-01 09:53:27 AM
By the way, bbcrackmonkey, did you catch the Magua reference in this thread?

A little different ;-)
 
2006-03-01 10:02:22 AM
Did somebody say cane?

hackwrestling.com

/close enough to a cane sword for government work!
 
2006-03-01 10:09:03 AM
Is that a tanuki standing next to the sword guy?
 
2006-03-01 10:13:36 AM
FriarReb98 I came in here to say about the same thing. Except that you forgot to mock the accent (cawfee malk!) and the worst-in-the-country driving.
 
2006-03-01 10:20:53 AM
StatJunkieWhere there's smoke there's fire.... ;)
 
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