For a billionaire I was expecting a nicer entrance to Oprah's house.

If I were him, I'd take the signs down and then laugh as hog bitings skyrocketed the next month.

"Do not say you were not warned!"

The question is, do the hogs actually bite?

superking
If I were him, I'd take the signs down and then laugh as hog bitings skyrocketed the next month.

And the same neighbors who are complaining will sue him into bankruptcy.

superking

except if he took down the signs then he wouldnt warn them and would probably be found liable and sued for someone who got some pigtooth scratch

then again, this is what the internet is for: bad people offering bad advice.

warning: virgin heifers bite

Captain Obvious to the Rescue!

Hogs bite ? Well, it don't take a hummer from Rosie O'Donnell to figure that one out .

Don't bite, baby... awwww, yeah, just like that.

"Monsieur, does your hog bite?"

"No."

*BITE*

"I thought you said your hog does not bite!'

"That...is not my hog."

We don't rent pigs

Most of the people in the new subdivision are rich dicks from India. Nobody biatches about thir cows.

\just an FYI.

Next week there will be an article that some dumbass missed all of the signs, got bitten by a hog, and is suing him.

I am wondering why he has so many signs up. Did he already have some sort of run in with idiots trying to pet the nice pigs and wants to cover his a$$? Or is he being passive/aggressive over the housing development going in next door?

redTiburon: Most of the people in the new subdivision are rich dicks from India. Nobody biatches about thir cows.


Nope, mostly people on inflated loans in their McMansions.

If I were the dude.. I'd take them down and put up the same thing only in day glow neon, with flashing lights.

I just love these richie assholes moving into their new "developments" and ordering people around who've probably been there for 50 years.

The put up a barrier so they wouldn't have to see the signs?!?!

What a bunch of pointless twats.

This reminds me about the guy who had a pink army tank in his fromt yard, on the lawn. I wonder what happened to him?

I'd like to see more variety in the signs:

Warning: Hogs Bite
Caution: Pigs Masticate
Take Heed: Porcine Beasts Do Chomp
etc., etc., etc.

just kat
maybe there's just a limit on how many hogs-bite signs you can have..... :P



Yeah, apparently the limit is uhh... eleventy.

Jillion.

JosephFinn:

heh heh heh. One of my favorite Sellers moments.

Im going to side with the city...that's way too many signs...

I live on a farm and yes, hogs do bite... But it's not like they'll go after your hand. They tend to attack your foot or shins.

I'm also sick of urban yuppies moving out here and complaining about how things are and have been for the past hundred years...

For example, one guy wrote a letter to the local newspaper threatening to call the EPA on them because of dust on a gravel road...
The next day, there was another letter from someone else who effectively tore the guy a new a--hole...

"Never trust a man with a pig farm"

gravital: "Never trust a man with a pig farm"

True...we might not all own guns, but we do own manure spreaders....

sgt.baker:
then again, this is what the internet is for: bad people offering bad advice.

Hey, look. I may be a bad person, and that may be bad advice, but WHATEVER, man.

I say let the farkers get bit.

Ok, I found the letter written to the paper here that I was talking about earlier. (Second From Bottom)

---- "I'm calling concerning the condition of the roads in the Malta Township area. Whoever your township board members and road commissioner are, you should be ashamed of yourselves. We just traveled today between DeKalb and Rochelle and it is very obvious where the township lines are. The poor people who live out there on the gravel roads certainly can't even open a window and get some fresh air on a sunny day because the dust is so bad. The dust has to be a health hazard. It's ridiculous. I know there is something that can be done because other townships are not this bad at all. If I lived out there, I would be calling the EPA. You have got to do something because it has got to be a health hazard."

And the followup. (Third from top)

----"In response to the people calling in about the condition of the roads in Malta Township, you should be ashamed of yourselves. When you choose to live in the country, or travel a country road, you are choosing to put up with any conditions that may go along with gravel roads, including dust. If you have a problem with dust, then you certainly shouldn't live, or drive, on a gravel road. It's one thing to complain about potholes on a road or snow on a road, but to complain about dust in the country is simply pathetic. There's such a thing as opportunity cost, giving up something to get something in return. The opportunity cost of living in the country might be not being able to wash your car at home, or not being able to open your windows on a windy day. To me, these are little things to have to give up. Little things not worth mentioning at all. It's an absolute disgrace to put down the township officials in Malta. They can't make everybody happy but they are doing a good job of pleasing a lot of people. The current road commissioner had a big job ahead of him when he ran for the position. Before he came in the roads were not in the best condition, as many of you may know. He never gets any praise when he grades a gravel road, or clears snow from the country roads at 4 in the morning all winter. I happen to think he is doing a great job maintaining the township roads. I think you all need to stop and think about all that he does -- instead of complaining about the little things that he can't control, like dust."

/In conclusion... If you move out to the country and don't like it... GET THE F--- OUT!

I guess the city told the man they wont let him have his signs up til pigs fly.



/I am so sorry.
//Ill be leaving now.

I read the headline and thought "That has to be an oversimplification, that can't be right" but then I RTFA and GUESS WHAT? It IS right!

What the hell? Considered how often people/companies get sued because they DON'T have warnings up, or they do have one but it [whiny voice]isn't big enough[/whiny voice], how can it possibly be reasonable--feh, how can it be LEGAL--to sue someone for putting up warning no one can miss?

Damned if you don't, damned if you do, so grab a gun and take 'em with you.

Th3r3's som3thing not kosh3r about this story.

I can't believe it -- South Lebanon is actually complaining?

/not far from me
//high tattoo-to-teeth ratio among a certain constituency
///them's a whole lotta signs, but pigs is pigs

I'm surprised they haven't complained about teh Hezbollah.

superking

Hey, look. I may be a bad person, and that may be bad advice, but WHATEVER, man.

HAHA!

He's just being an asshole it sounds like. There's more to this story here:
http://www.wkrc.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=8807F644-084A-4A23-9416-3 8F1F4EC8B00

Mister Peejay: I have friends in a certain area of the state who claim that it's one of the township (?) laws that farm property can only be sold to someone who intends to use X% as farmland. It's a nice little regulation that keeps rich whiners from ruining things for everyone.



We have something like that out where I live. If land is zoned for Agriculture, you must have 40 acres of land for each house built on it... So if some rich snob buys a 34 acre plot of land, they're s.o.l.

If a house is already on it, they can add onto it, or knock it down and build a new one... Here though, things can get interesting, if you plan on living in a trailer on the plot of land during construction, you need to get permission to have that trailer there, and promise to get rid of the trailer when the house is complete because then you would have 2 residents on that plot of land... My neighbors had to go through this after their house burned down.

It's pretty effective at restricting new home construction to the city limits.

(For those who don't want to read the article above, he is mad that they won't let him connect the road in front of his house to the subdivision to sell his property for more $$, and he doesn't even own a pig currently, since he sold his last in the fall and "hopes to buy one again" in the spring.)

If you've ever seen the movie Hannibal or Snatch you know that pigs do more than that. They'll bite through not only skin and muscle but bone and keep going...

And this is NOT a "photoshop" because......????

Release the Hogs!

Criscokkat,
It's sometimes more efficent for the farmer to wait till spring to get new little pigglets after taking the old bunch to the slaugherhouse in the fall...
That way the farmer doens't need to feed hogs 365 days a year, as well as all the other things associated with keeping livestock (especially through the winter).

You gotta starve the pigs for a few days then the sight of a chopped up body would look like curry to a pissant. You gotta shave the head of your victim and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggy's digestion.

You could do this afterwards of course but you don't wanna go sifting through pig shiat now do ya? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to do the job in one sitting so be weary of any man who keeps a pig farm.

They will go through a body that weighs two-hundred pounds in about...eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of un-cooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression: "as greedy as a pig."