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(Yahoo)   Bureau of Imaginary Statistics finds 40 percent of people make up their resume   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
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2646 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Feb 2006 at 8:11 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

61 Comments     (+0 »)

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2006-02-23 08:13:52 PM  
2006-02-23 08:13:58 PM  
Hey! I worked at the Bureau!
2006-02-23 08:14:18 PM  
I'm an astronaut.
2006-02-23 08:15:26 PM  
I am the walrus.
2006-02-23 08:16:13 PM  
I really just omit things. Is that bad?
2006-02-23 08:16:26 PM  
I am not soup.
2006-02-23 08:16:48 PM  
I am the banana.
2006-02-23 08:16:57 PM  
My resume says im an official

[image from too old to be available]
2006-02-23 08:17:23 PM  
This is the reason why I tell interviewees for engineering or tech positions to bring a portfolio of their past work and be prepared to discuss it. Filters out the people like this.
2006-02-23 08:17:51 PM  
What sucks is I probably didn't get a job I was looking for cause some assclown lied and I didn't.
2006-02-23 08:18:38 PM  
Imagine being interviewed by a dude who has a secret life on Fark being thumper666.
2006-02-23 08:19:53 PM  
I am not really made of yummy candy. :(
2006-02-23 08:21:15 PM  
If you get passed over for someone that lied on their resume, you probably don't want to work for that company anyway. You'll end up having to work with a bunch of clueless people.
2006-02-23 08:21:26 PM

Check it out.
2006-02-23 08:21:42 PM  
[image from too old to be available]


\Notre Dame Joke
2006-02-23 08:23:08 PM  
Lampmonster: I am not really made of yummy candy. :(

You're Fired!
2006-02-23 08:24:46 PM  
*obvious WalMart reference*
2006-02-23 08:26:37 PM  
Yeah but how many people make up *somebody else's* resume?
2006-02-23 08:27:08 PM  
yeah, my boss padded my resume so he could hire me. Take that!
2006-02-23 08:27:44 PM  
I am shocked and awed
2006-02-23 08:27:57 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2006-02-23 08:27:59 PM  
Does this mean I should remove "capable of doing shiate that's cool (when there is the proper $$$ incentive)" from under my interest and recently held job categories?
2006-02-23 08:28:15 PM  
This is what happens when employers have unrealistic demands about worker experience.
2006-02-23 08:28:22 PM  
Including the CEO of Radio Shack.
2006-02-23 08:28:25 PM  

1998 called. They don't want their website back.
2006-02-23 08:28:41 PM  
This is the reason why I tell interviewees for engineering or tech positions to bring a portfolio of their past work and be prepared to discuss it. Filters out the people like this.

And yet, they still want me to bring my resume! Dangit I'm not superman!
2006-02-23 08:29:41 PM  
Imaginary statistics? Why do things always have to be so *complex*?
2006-02-23 08:31:08 PM  
I work for the Bureau of Imaginary Statistics

So I am really getting a kick really .

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....don't make yourself sound like you do.

Cause some job hunters believe everything they hear.
2006-02-23 08:32:18 PM  
Maybe it's time to start making shiat up on my resume, so I can get a *good* job.
2006-02-23 08:32:42 PM  

Why would I need to make up things on my resume, when I'm currently the President of the United States of America.

I work for Radio Shack. So I am getting a kick out of all your replies. You all talk like you know what you're saying.

But believe me, you don't ...

2006-02-23 08:33:13 PM  
I knew I should have left off "Collects female action figures and late '70's and early '80's punk records on vinyl" off of the "Interests" section.
2006-02-23 08:33:52 PM  
Hey, how hard would it be to fake transcripts, I mean, do they really know what those little stamps are supposed to be?
2006-02-23 08:36:29 PM  
wouldnt that make the 40% statistic "made up"
2006-02-23 08:39:40 PM  
I've always found if I attatch a lock of their childs hair and a picture of their school to work remarkably well.
2006-02-23 08:40:55 PM  
I've got my Master's from Fark University.

Go F U!!!

/a vote for me is a vote for no homework!
//no voting?
///whadda ya mean, "no voting"?
2006-02-23 08:41:13 PM  
how timely! I'm working on mine right now. I guess it's a lot easier than I'm making it out to be...
2006-02-23 08:43:06 PM  
I don't like people lying on their resumes.

But on a slightly differenet topic, it is a pain to apply for government jobs in Australia. In addition to a resume, they want you to address some selection criteria. That is, they give a list of about ten questions, and you have to write answers for them. It is recommended that you write between a paragraph to a whole page to each question. I think this is ridiculous. All an employer needs is a resume and a cover letter. If it is good enough for the private sector, it is good enough for the public sector.

Not only the selection criteria is a pain, it is a multiple pain if you are applying for more than one job.

Oh yeah, I think that these days employers are making it harder to get your "foot in the door", they want degrees and prior experience. I think they are leaning too heavily on the latter. By the way, I'm not talking about jobs like physicists and brain surgeons, but rather librarians, secretaries, etc.

I wonder if this lack of "foot in the door" opportunities makes more people lie on their resume. I don't expect "foot in the door" things for, say, a CEO, but I am thinking of lesser jobs.

I think I'll shut up now.
2006-02-23 08:44:06 PM  
One time I got a cover letter in which a person detailed a moose hunting expedition. I wouldn't mind it so much, if he at least tried mentioned the job somewhere.

When I apply for a job, I am insane about checking for errors, reading it for clarity and relevance, etc. Yet, whenever we advertise a position, we feel damn lucky just to get a qualified person--nevermind even considering trashing a resume due to a typo.
2006-02-23 08:48:25 PM  
stress tensor: Try applying for a US Federal Government job. . .same thing. Government is full of morons with amazingly anal retentive hiring laws, regulations and processes to follow. . .then you find out you didn't get the job because you are too white or some stupid shiat like that.
2006-02-23 08:55:51 PM  
He said one notable example involved Kenneth Lonchar, the chief financial officer at Veritas Software Company, who was forced to resign in 2002 after he admitted he lied about earning a master's degree in business administration from Stanford University

irony = "Veritas" is latin for "truth"

yes, really.

Ever got people who are highly skilled at discussing fictitious experience?

That's how I feel everytime I get passed on for someone else.
2006-02-23 08:59:52 PM  
i feel like such a tool when i try to write my resumes to 'impress' employers. it doesnt really convey the message i want it to.. such as: i may have good people skills and plenty of experience, but i'd seriously rather not work with the public. just give me a job in a closet alphabetising files and doing mindless data entry adn i'll be happy. i dont even need insurrance! i just want better pay than minimum wage and a promise that i wont have to talk to people.
2006-02-23 09:00:15 PM  
The people who make stuff up get exposed when they can't do something that they claimed to have experience with on their resume. That's grounds for termination, where I work.

Imagine getting fired for lying on your resume, and then having to look for a new job (sans unemployment benefits) and having to admit during the interview that you got fired from your previous job for lying in order to get hired. If that's not one of the definitions of "suck" then it ought to be.
2006-02-23 09:09:00 PM  
MBA Whore: Interesting that you guys have the same problem. But somehow, since it involves the government, it does not surprise me.

Fortunately, I don't have this problem (still studying at university), but a family member of mine has this problem.

I know a story of someone who offered to work for free for a week so the employer could "test drive" her. She eventually got the job. Far too many employers want to see some detailed analysis comparable to predicting the trajectory of a interplanetary space probe before they hire you.
2006-02-23 09:21:50 PM  
I think part of the problem are the HR drones that are asking for experience that is impossible. In 2002 when I applied for a job, the requirement was FIVE years experience in C#....Ya...5 years...IT WASN'T POSSIBLE.

I also clearly remember another job that had an additive experience of over 90 years. Sweet.
2006-02-23 09:22:43 PM  
stress tensor: Try applying for a US Federal Government job.


Wanna talk about government intelligence? Attending job fairs with tons of Fed agencies, only to have every single one tell you to visit the website to find out any information.

When I tried to get any people-friendly information at all from the reps at the JOB farking FAIR, they just kept repeating that I had to visit the US gov jobs website. No one would even listen to my education/experience and tell me if they thought the agency might have a position that could fit. That is information they give on the site, but the gal had to know if she saw, say, a clerk in the building, somewhere.

/I did get a cool FBI keychain/light.
2006-02-23 09:26:14 PM  
sorry, close italics
2006-02-23 09:30:03 PM  
Employers pretty much encourage prospective hires to lie in order to get the job. After all, if you don't lie about your experience, knowledge, and qualifications for the job, the next guy will.

The fool who lied on his resume to get a fat-ass job at Radio Shack isn't the real criminal here -- he isn't a good guy, but he's not entirely at fault, after all, they HIRED him (as did the last dozen FOOLS who this guy worked for). The HR department and the hiring managers (board of directors, in this case) should be terminated -- wiped out. Their are liable for failing to have done their expected duties.

It's mind numbingly easy to tell candidates, "background items such as relevant school history, certifications, and awards will be fact checked. Please make sure your resume is accurate before submitting." That alone will scare away most of the frauds.

It's even easier to actually go and do it. You can do it yourself, or if you are super lazy, hire an outside company to do it for you. It's cheap, and it keeps the frauds away. You don't need to do a background check on the candidate -- just verify what they themselves are claiming to be true. Google search for "employer background check".
2006-02-23 09:38:37 PM  
1998 called. They don't want their website back.

They're going to let us keep that joke though?
2006-02-23 10:15:44 PM  
I'm tempted to lie on my resume right now. I'm a kickass and completely motivated computer programmer fresh out of college and everybody wants me to have 2+ years of experience IN INDUSTRY. They don't care about my people skills or my blantant willingness to work for peanuts. How the hell am I supposed to get 2 years in the industry if it takes 2 years to start working there?

I should just pull a george constanza, make up a company and have a friend answer the phone.

/bitter and broke
//not really serious about lying, too farking honest for my own good.
///betcha can't eat just one slashy
2006-02-23 10:27:49 PM  
"Why is that man staring at my resume?
Don't stare at my resume,
I made up half my resume,
Stop looking at that,
Look at ME!
No, not at my shoes,
I hate these farking shoes.
Why'd I pick these shoes,
Why'd I pick this song,
Why'd I pick this career,
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