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(Some Guy)   Farker Bevets explains why atheist should believe   (bevets.com ) divider line
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9789 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 May 2002 at 8:36 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2002-05-28 02:57:30 PM  
A: This page explains nothing but Bevets' beliefs.
B: This is a blatant attempt to start a flame war.
C: It'll probably work.

[image from phalkin.com too old to be available]
 
2002-05-28 03:06:32 PM  
where's our flame war tag huh....we need one!
 
2002-05-28 03:07:38 PM  
almost forgot:
if god existed why would "He" allow such an ugly background to exist on a website talking about "Him" and how wonderful "He" is
 
2002-05-28 03:15:33 PM  
those who reject the Bible do so (in part) because they don?t believe Jesus was God and they don?t believe Jesus was God because they don?t believe the Bible.

those who don't believe the bible use circular reasoning? i don't think so. those who reject the idea that the bible is the word of god do so because they see no evidence anywhere for such a grand claim.

and not believing jesus was god is a result of not believing the bible, which is a result of seeing no evidence for it. get it? not circular. not the same as beliving in the bible says so. at all.

what ever happened to faith? didn't god request that people have faith? if you believe in god, then this means you shouldn't need any proof. which means that you have no reasons for athiests to believe.

dumbass
 
2002-05-28 03:27:27 PM  
I believe the men who wrote the Bible were men of integrity. History records that eleven of the twelve apostles died martyr's deaths. I believe conspiracies are difficult to hold together and this is especially true when conspirators face death, however not one apostle ever backed down and the persecution of the early church has been well documented.


well, i believe that people are gullible, so this would be an alternate and much easier explanation than conspiaracy. furthermore, it is a fact that there have been many cults in which people have chosen to believe things that were completely unsubstantiated, even leading to death. sounds more like human nature than conspiaracy to me.

many small reasons to believe in the bible does not prove it is the word of god and that god exists. without proving his existence, i object to the bastardazitaion of the word "truth" when applied to the bible. basically, it comes down to this: you can't offer any reason to people that they should believe. it has to be faith.


incidently, i think on a practical level going to church and believing in a certain theology is not necessary for spirituality. for some people, i'm sure the rigid structure and ritualization helps. for others, it really doesn't.
 
2002-05-28 03:34:19 PM  
round 1... fight!
 
2002-05-28 03:37:20 PM  
Hey look, I'm a friggin' prophet. Don't forget your asbestos underoos, kids. I'll be over here in the back row having atheistic premarital sex.
[image from phalkin.com too old to be available]
 
2002-05-28 03:43:27 PM  
sigh....
 
2002-05-28 03:44:10 PM  
Phalkin: can I join ya? ;)
 
2002-05-28 03:44:22 PM  
Before anyone asks and drags me back into this prick-waving dickfight...

Atheistic premarital sex differs from xian premarital sex in 5 key ways:

1. There's no guilt.
2. We can tell our parents.
3. We get to implement the protection of our choice.
4. We get to use the WHOLE weekend, and...
5. We're good at it.
 
2002-05-28 03:46:05 PM  
Replace the word 'God' with the words 'Santa Claus'. It's much more entertaining and makes just as much sense.
 
2002-05-28 03:46:11 PM  
Rosalea: Sure, my girlfriend's actually down with that.

and this is REALLY my last post in this thread.
 
2002-05-28 04:08:35 PM  
GOD is great.
 
2002-05-28 04:14:43 PM  
this verbage sucks almost as bad as Timothy's rant. at least tim didnt use that ugly ass font... jeebus! get over your pompous arrogant selves and you sorry ass beliefs, and that goes for both of you.
 
2002-05-28 04:33:03 PM  
What a blatant troll post. The original article was, as best as the author could make it, an unbiased explanation of athiests. It didn't go into why xians should become atheists. This is yet another pointless attempt to convert the heathens. "why atheist should believe"

This is my whole problem with religion. Their followers are constantly trying to tell other people what they should believe, especially with no evidence to back it up. Fark you. You believe it, that's fine. Why is it your entire existence is to ensure everyone else should believe what you think is right? Keep your beliefs in your home and church. Anywhere else and you can stick your brainwashing logic where the sun don't shine.
 
2002-05-28 04:38:12 PM  
At times, I wish there really was a hell.

(A temporary one of course, I'm not a total bastard.)

I think I'll stay out of this thread. Gah.
 
2002-05-28 04:43:09 PM  
Nah this is called 'the admins really do read the threads', and noticed Bevets complaint that he hadn't yet been published.
 
2002-05-28 04:47:48 PM  
Awww... blow that for a lark. I'm back in the game. The annotated 10 commandments:

1. I am the Lord thy God, which have brought thee out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.

First off, you aren't MY god. You're a lonely guy on a mountain. Second, I've never been to Egypt. Third, If you take me out of the "house of bondage" as you call it, the mistress will be angry with me. And as for that last bit: Jealous little biatch, aren't you? Sounds like monopolistic rhetoric to me.

2. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.

Since I have no god, how about I just take yours in vain, eh yaweh?

3. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them.

What? Like a cross or something? Just because people like to remember that they beat down your little kid ain't a reason to get all biblical on 'em.

4. Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy.

Care to clarify which day that is?

5. Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long.

So... If we don't, you're implying that our days will be short? Stop threatening me.

6. Thou shalt not kill.

Why not? If the bible is (by some extremely unlikely accident) actually rooted in fact, we'd just be following your example.

7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.

That one's a bit outta left field. Who's been bangin' Mrs. God?

8. Thou shalt not steal.

Try and stop me.

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.

I damn well shall. Or at least my lawyer will. How else am I supposed to get those extra few square feet for my fence?

10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbor's.

Ahh... Who made you the thought police, Moses^H^H^H^H^HGod? Besides, if everyone didn't covet their neighbors' possessions, why would anyone want anything?

Now I'm REALLY REALLY done. Really. I promise.
 
2002-05-28 05:08:41 PM  

I got nothin, but I like this quote:

"I contend we are both atheists, I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours."



...Stephen F Roberts
 
2002-05-28 06:39:23 PM  
who doesn't like copperplate gothic fonts? C'mon, you know if JESUS rose from the dead, HE would use HIS almighty copy of MICROSOFT FRONTPAGE(tm) to choose such a fine combination of background and font. Clearly, the author is a man of integrity, just like the ones who wrote the bible.

Seriously, dude, you got your beliefs, that's cool, why you gotta try and put 'em on everyone here? and for real, if you're gonna do it, make it with a respectable page.

The first miracle of Jesus was to get a bunch of people drunk at a party :) ... just enjoy yourselves, people, don't hurt anybody else. Peace
 
2002-05-28 07:04:25 PM  
Jesus would also make sure that his subjects and verbs agreed in number.

*ducks and runs, cheap shot*
 
2002-05-28 08:39:31 PM  
http://home.teleport.com/%7Ejfitz/stuff/jesus.html

Jesus loves ALL the little children!
 
2002-05-28 08:40:19 PM  
If I believe in God, can I still look at boobies?
 
2002-05-28 08:40:43 PM  
"Fark.com: Because one flame war a day is for pussies"
 
2002-05-28 08:41:48 PM  
Question: Will it be necessary for Grand_High_Took to summon Bevets into his own thread?
 
2002-05-28 08:42:02 PM  
Wow the flames on this one are getting so big that we're just posting webpages about it.

Then there will be even more flames in the coments.

(Obligatory popcorn remark here)

I'm gonna go back and make funny captions now
 
2002-05-28 08:42:42 PM  
AMEN Master_Mind!!

Oh, God dammit.. should an athiest say that? Oh Jesus-farking-H-Christ, should I say "God dammit?"

what does the "H" stand for anyway?
 
2002-05-28 08:43:52 PM  
Wow Phalkin, you're so hardcore. Continue yelling at text.
 
2002-05-28 08:44:14 PM  
Luh-hame
 
2002-05-28 08:44:15 PM  
Athiesm wins because that webpage is ass ugly.
 
2002-05-28 08:44:48 PM  
The hell? This just tells me why Bevets beleives in God. (Because the Bible says so, and the Bible is correct because God wrote it)

Nice try, but I'm not biting till i see a juicier worm. *Smacks Admins with a stick*
 
2002-05-28 08:45:12 PM  
Rosalea almost forgot: if god existed why would "He" allow such an ugly background to exist on a website talking about "Him" and how wonderful "He" is

web designer humour, lol
 
2002-05-28 08:45:17 PM  
Let the flame war continue; where's my popcorn?
 
2002-05-28 08:46:20 PM  
*applauds Bevets*

And to all those farkers who are going to cite examples of Christians doing bad shiat, remember that one of the biggest tenets of the Christian Faith is that ""For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23

There are bad examples of Christians, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, Agnostics and Atheists.

*dismounts soapbox*
 
2002-05-28 08:46:35 PM  
Also, what background is that? "I threw spaghettios and Korean Jellybeans at the Wall and This is What Happened", Also, I love the "You can view this from Freakin' Mars" font there.
 
2002-05-28 08:47:05 PM  
The H stands for henry. Little known fact. Just kiddin. I believe that god was sick and tired of people kneeling when he walked into a room that he created a world (the universe) with religeon. Anyone who worships or treats god in a silimar manner stays in the universe until they get so pissed off at the way the universe works that they tell god he is an asshole.

See god only wants people to treat him like anyone else. God probably just gets sick and tired of syncophantic (sp?) drones going on how he is all powerful and just wants some dudes to play playstation with.

Just a thought!
 
2002-05-28 08:47:18 PM  
Master_Mind: Yes, as long as they're not your neighbor's wife's boobies.

I am agnostic and proud.
 
2002-05-28 08:47:50 PM  
One of the big hurdles w/ Christianity for me is the little scripture reference thingy: (Luke 20:19). When I see one of those I feel nausea and hate. Seeing as how I like the idea of God being about love, it doesn't line up, you know?
 
2002-05-28 08:48:46 PM  
You may be a Fundie if ....

110. You believe spontaneous human combustion is linked to demon possesion.

109. You go to church at least 3 times a week.

108. You believe most so-called Christians are really double agents for Satan.

107. You believe all non-Christians are Satan-worshippers.

106. You believe lava proves hell's existence.

105. You drink your own urine because some website says it is what 'Jesus would do'.

104. You let your children be abused by their father because the bible says women are to be subservient to their husbands.

103. You complain that the county commissioners are being harassed just because they spend more time defending the Ten Commandments instead of the Constitution.

102. You have the desire to sacrifice a goat before dinner.

101. You are "customer of the year" at the Jesus Christ Superstore.

100. You are addicted to the ink on "The Watchtower".

99. You found it completely normal when a televangelist saw a 900 foot Jesus because you've seen him too.

98. The Moral Majority calls and asks you for advice.

97. Your response to challenges to your faith is "I rebuke you in the name of Jesus".

96. You buy "Satan Stomper" shoes from Tammy Faye Bakker.

95. Your native language is "Speaking in Tongues"

96. You think this Sai Baba pedophile is god

90. You believe dinosaurs were on Noah's Ark.

89. You have been "born-again" more often then you have had actual birthdays.

88. You say that the reason that God let your Father molest you, your whole childhood, was to strengthen your character.

87. You believe that a new "Bible-Diet" will allow you live for hundreds of years, just like pre-flood characters in the bible.

86. You have a database to keep track of all your wives.

85. When someone curses in your presence, you say "Get thee behind me, Satan!"

84. You've ever used aerosol air freshener to drive demons out of a room.

83. You excel in 'righteous anger'.

82. You make sure the bananas are already ripe before you buy them in case of rapture.

81. You think the bible verse, Lev.20:18, is not hilarious. (Lev.20:18 And if a man shall lie with a woman having her sickness, and shall uncover her nakedness;he hath discovered her fountain, and she hath uncovered the fountain of her blood: and both of them shall be cut off from among their people.)

80. You whisper when you say "Ding-dongs" at the snack counter.

79. You assume that the bible is completely true without doing any research, which is why the Atheists rip your arguments to shreds.

78. Your arguments always end with the phrase "your going to hell" or "Who knows the mysterious ways of God."

77. You will give any amount of ransom money to keep Oral Roberts from being called back to God.

76. When 6,000 people have died in a disaster, and three survive, you thank God for his mercy and compassion.

75. You say and believe: "There are no atheists in foxholes."

76. You think that if we had prayed for Bin Laden the terrorist attacks would never have happened.

72. Your piece of crap car finally dies yet you spend 10 times what the car is worth in order to fix it because you cherish the dozens of God/Jesus/Christian stickers on it.

71. Since you substituted your addiction of the crack pipe for Jesus, you claim that you are a living miracle.

70. You have a bible in every room of your house.

69. You've ever used the verse "Spare the rod, spoil the child" to defend child abuse.

68. You think a clump of cells has a soul.

67. You end every sentence with "God willin'".

66. You "pray over" every major purchase.

65. You stretch out the word Jesus into Jeeezzusssahhhhh.

64. You state with certainty that Catholics are not Christians.

63. You tell your children that there is no such thing as mental illness, it's really demon possession.

62. You picket a funeral to protest the deceased's "lifestyle".

61. You segregate your stamp drawer.

60. You douse a shrubbery in gasoline, toss a match, and try to strike up a conversation.

59. You have a "Mean People Suck" bumper sticker.

58. You've been hit with a restraining order for crucifying someone's pet snake.

57. Every time someone says "geez", you gasp in shock and slap them in the face.

56. You like Landover Baptist because you think it's serious.

55. You believe that full-immersion baptism should be a near-death experience.

54. You believe the Grand Canyon was created in days or weeks.

53. You ban dancing because it may lead to "sin".

52. You celebrate the killing of homosexuals.

51. You think that 2 metal beams, forming a cross, left over from the destruction of the WTC buildings and death of more than 6000 people, is a miracle from God.

50. You see your minister run the other way whenever you're around.

49. You teach your toddler new words by asking him, "What would baby Jesus do?"

48. You buy your wife's mascara by the quart so she doesn't run out as often.

47. You volunteer your weekends to put RAPTURE! fliers on cars at Wal-Mart.

46. You organize a church raffle to raise money for new tires on the parsonage.

44. Prove a global flood by saying the Sphinx shows signs of water erosion.

43. You only listen to radio stations on the AM dial.

42. You buy all the men you know Old Spice and all the ladies Aquanet for Christmas.

41. You're a Gold member of Bob Larson's Ministries.

40. You view Richard Simmons as a bigger threat than, say, Saddam Hussein.

39. The University where you got your degree at only has one floor.

38. You won't let you kids see Santa because it's an anagram for Satan.

37. You boycott all Disney products because of their permissiveness towards homosexuality.

36. You won't let your kids trick or treat because it glorifies ghosts and goblins.

35. You won't let your kids see "The Wizard of Oz" because it has a "good witch".

34. You burn the Harry Potter books

33. Your think science is the devil's work.

32. You voted for Dubya because he is a smart, sensible man.

31. You carry a paint scraper with you at all times to take those blasphemous "evolve" fish of the heathen's cars.

30. You think the pope is the anti-christ.

29. You argue that evil exists because of freewill, yet you pray God will override some hot chick's freewill so that she'll have sex with you.

28. You actually think that prayer will protect you from terrorists.

27. You think that by praying for our President, he will never say anything stupid again.

26. You stub your toe, and then spend 2 days praying and trying to figure out what God's purpose in it was.

25. You're looking forward to rejoicing in heaven while unsaved friends and relatives are eternally suffering in hell.

24. You say, "I'm NOT doing this for YOU; I'm just doing it for JESUS."

23. You enjoy waking complete strangers up at 7am on a Saturday to invite them to your church.

22. You belief that having an orgasm is strictly for "multiplying" but secretly thank God it feels so damn good!

21. Your prayers before meals take longer than the meals do.

20. When your dog is behaving strangely, you call an exorcist.

19. Your cure for the hiccups is "laying on of hands."

18. You say things like "If God seems distant, guess who moved??? You!!!"

17. You look at the smoke from a disaster and you see the devils face.

16. You see EVERYTHING to be a sign of the upcoming Apocalypse.

15. You keep an "Emergency Baptismal Kit" in your car.

14. You counter every challenge with, "Well, Scripture says ... "

13. You took a Bible to the prom.

12. You won't accept the word "logic" in a game of Scrabble.

11. You are outraged that someone, somewhere, is enjoying their life and/or body.

10. You despise that godless, left-wing commie Pat Buchanan.

9. You think Tammy Faye is too sexy for the five pounds of mascara she wears.

8. You believe that the ACLU is a tool of the anti-christ.

7. You believe that the S Spanish Inquisition was an example of "tough love.

6. You think God is a Republican (and an American to boot)

5. You think that the sixth item in the Bill of Rights is "thou shall not kill."

4. You think fossils were sent here by the devil.

3. You think everyone who doesn't believe what you believe is miserable.

2. You want to replace science class with Bible study.

1. Your name happens to Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, or Bevets.
 
2002-05-28 08:49:13 PM  
not going to talk god stuff on the web
 
2002-05-28 08:49:29 PM  
"The Bible suggests that God (the creator) sets the standards and man (the creature) doesn't get a vote."

So what you're saying is that god is a monarchistic assholish dictator and he doens't give a shiat about what us little ass-stains think?
 
2002-05-28 08:50:21 PM  
Hytes: I hate it too. But it's like a footnote. I don't want to get zapped by lightning for plagiarizing the Bible without giving due recognition...
 
2002-05-28 08:50:26 PM  
Thank you, CapnWacky, you've managed to sum it up rather quickly.

I believe the Bible because Jesus is God AND I believe Jesus is God because I believe the Bible. In my defense, I submit that all human beliefs are founded on a starting point that employs circular reasoning. As a relevant example: those who reject the Bible do so (in part) because they don't believe Jesus was God and they don't believe Jesus was God because they don't believe the Bible.


That 'in part' catches my attention. Didn't Jesus just show up in the New Testament? There's a lot of bible outside of that. It's not that I have reason to not believe in the bible, it's that I don't have reason to believe in the bible. See the difference?

I'm not going to knock anyone that does believe in the bible, so long as they don't knock me for not believing in it. It's a very good book and outlines many many good manners to conduct yourself and live. But I don't think that it's the word of god, personally.
 
2002-05-28 08:51:09 PM  
"I believe Jesus demonstrated that He is God through His teaching and the miracles he performed."

There goes monotheism out the window, unless the author doesn't know English that well.
 
2002-05-28 08:51:22 PM  
Thank you for not running this twice today
 
2002-05-28 08:51:36 PM  
"I'm right"
"No I'm right"
"No I'm right"
"No I'm right"

*sigh*
 
2002-05-28 08:51:40 PM  
And, thanks to Dimossi, no one will read this far now. Oh well.
 
2002-05-28 08:51:52 PM  
I should smote Bevets....Perhaps I shall just make him be with my ex-wife....that would be worse than being smote.
 
2002-05-28 08:52:18 PM  
Why do so many people argue about religion? Personally I am a Christian because I chose to be one and I chose to believe in what goes along with that. If you choose to have a certain religion, even if it's different then mine, great. If you don't choose to have a religion at all, that's great. If you choose to be against religion entirely that's great. It's all about free choice and that's it. Maybe I'm not a good Christian, but I live a good life overall and I am happy. Be happy choose whatever you want and be happy.
 
2002-05-28 08:52:22 PM  
Wow! Screw ANWR and the Gulf Nations! We've got enough flames on Fark to run our generators for CENTURIES!

Is it wildfire season already? Or is this an El Nino kind of thing?
 
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