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(Reuters)   Latest figures show humans are winning the battle against sharks. Boo-yah, baby   ( ) divider line
    More: Interesting  
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5463 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Feb 2006 at 4:00 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

54 Comments     (+0 »)

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2006-02-13 04:04:11 PM  
I don't believe it! Liberal Lies!!!
2006-02-13 04:04:46 PM  
"...So I grabbed it by its throat and I said 'fark you, shark.'"
2006-02-13 04:05:12 PM  
I don't understand ads that popup and completely block the content.

Do you want me to read the story or not?

/Not buying a Land Rover out of spite
2006-02-13 04:05:24 PM  
now if we could only find the shark's wmd's ...
2006-02-13 04:05:42 PM  
Maybe they started to think that humans stink!
2006-02-13 04:05:53 PM

Just wait til they get the frickin laser beams on their heads, damnit!
2006-02-13 04:06:48 PM  
I always suspected this but now that its in print I can finally relax.
2006-02-13 04:06:56 PM  
Sharks respect size and power

They also respect you if you speak to them in firm tones and make eye contact, saying "No. No. Bad shark. Bad."

/ while smacking them on the nose
// 'cause they're like dogs, only with more teeth
/// and wetter, generally
2006-02-13 04:06:59 PM  
Apparently they were holding back this news until Peter Benchley passed away.
2006-02-13 04:07:23 PM  
Forgot to ask if this included the "Land Shark".
2006-02-13 04:08:14 PM  
With or without lasers?
2006-02-13 04:08:28 PM  
Sometimes that shark looks right at ya. Right into your eyes. And the thing about a shark is he's got lifeless eyes. Black eyes. Like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, he doesn't even seem to be livin'... 'til he bites ya, and those black eyes roll over white and then... ah then you hear that terrible high-pitched screamin'. The ocean turns red, and despite all your poundin' and your hollerin' those sharks come in and... they rip you to pieces.
2006-02-13 04:08:44 PM  
Those already in the jaws of a shark should "claw at the eyes and the gills to impress the animal that you're not going to go down easily," he advised.

That sounds good, but I am pretty sure I would just scream like a little girl and pass out.
2006-02-13 04:09:26 PM  
Dah dum dah dum dah dum
Salsa shark.
We're gonna need a bigger boat!
Man goes in the cage, cage goes in the salsa. Shark's in the salsa. Our shark.
2006-02-13 04:09:30 PM  
Today is a sucky day for news.
I wonder if it is just the natural let down after Cheney shooting someone in the face.
2006-02-13 04:10:09 PM  
Contrary to what most people say, the most dangerous animal in the world is not the lion or the tiger or even the elephant. It's a shark riding on an elephant's back, just trampling and eating everything they see.
2006-02-13 04:10:12 PM  
I grabbed him by the gills, held my revolver to his temple, and said, "You feel that, Jaws? That's pride f'in witchu. F pride!"
2006-02-13 04:10:16 PM  
But what about bears? Hmmm?
2006-02-13 04:12:03 PM  
"Why did the shark attack you? Were you taunting it?"

/dane cook
2006-02-13 04:13:12 PM  
Fins to the left fins to the right and youre the only game in town
2006-02-13 04:13:40 PM
2006-02-13 04:14:08 PM  
I cannot understand how this can be considered good news. Sharks are in decline. May become endangered. Bad. Bad. Bad.

I am saddened that yet one more Darwinian method of culling the herd is being eliminated.

/where is that idiot one armed surfer girl when you need her to be a spokes-model?
2006-02-13 04:14:34 PM

Wizzin: That sounds good, but I am pretty sure I would just scream like a little girl and pass out.

Yes, you would lloloilololoolol
2006-02-13 04:15:35 PM  
Dammit FatherG you beat me to the reference.

You're on notice.
2006-02-13 04:16:33 PM  
I didn't read any of the article. But I can guarantee it involved humans doing something wrong.
2006-02-13 04:18:46 PM  
W00t! The U.S. leads in this TOO!

EAT THAT, you commie foreigners!
2006-02-13 04:18:46 PM  

In Africa, more people are killed by Hippopotamusses (sp?) than by lions and tigers. Seems the hippos become agressive when protecting thier young, and when disturbed by boats along the river, will tip them over, attack resultant swimmers.

A reaction similar, I might add, to the one I got the other day when I parked my Ford Van in the "Parking reserved for women with children" spot at the local Wal-Mart last Wednesday.
2006-02-13 04:19:34 PM  
Well what about the sharks with frickin' lasers

2006-02-13 04:19:44 PM

"The sharks got smarter."
2006-02-13 04:20:14 PM  
Latest figures show humans are winning the battle against sharks. Numbers could change after yesterdays hunting accident in Texas!
2006-02-13 04:21:46 PM  
2006-02-13 04:22:40 PM  
Ain't THAT the truth.

2006-02-13 04:22:42 PM  
Once again, this is why being on the top of the food chain (and staying there) is such a capital idea.

Meat: good. Turned into poop by bear: bad.
2006-02-13 04:22:50 PM  
The real question is, what do you do when you're attacked by a bear holding a shark?
2006-02-13 04:22:52 PM
2006-02-13 04:23:43 PM  
ya, that will teach those sharks not to mess with america!
2006-02-13 04:24:44 PM  
Have you ever stopped to think that any animal -- alligator, snake, shark -- that eats a beast whole, is also eating the residual intestinal poop? Always go swimming with a full load. If you get eaten, that shark will think twice about doing it again.
2006-02-13 04:25:11 PM  
Cheney,1 Sharks,0
Oh, wait, humans. nevermind.
2006-02-13 04:25:24 PM  
Poor sharks. Billions of years of functional ocean superiority, and we systematically slaughter the lot of them because they freak us out and kill less than a hundred people globally every year.

To put this into perspective, pigs kill more people.

Poor sharks.
2006-02-13 04:27:58 PM
2006-02-13 04:30:46 PM  
yeah! 6-7 billion strong! and we killed more animals! yeah! we're cool! woohoo! our biomass is teh biggest! woot!

farking stupid

more ecosystems please, less stinking useless humans, k thx
2006-02-13 04:37:32 PM  
Not for long biatches.
2006-02-13 04:38:04 PM  
we systematically slaughter the lot of them because they freak us out

Whatever you librul panty waist shark hugger. The sharks hate our freedoms, but, in spite of your efforts to the contrary, we're winning the war on sharks. Can't you see that? Turn the Pacific into a glass parking lot = saving American lives.
2006-02-13 04:39:12 PM  
zombies kill more people anually than sharks and robot monkeys put together! but since they eat their prey, nobody is around to file a police report.
2006-02-13 04:47:17 PM  
"Shark attacks dropped in 2005 because people are fighting back more often when threatened and the ranks of ocean predators are thinning, a University of Florida report said on Monday."

I doubt our fighting back has anything to do with it. We don't fight back til attacked so the attack is already on the books.

Our rampant murder of most shark species is the more likely culprit.
2006-02-13 04:47:57 PM  
There should be 5 sharks in a zoo somewhere and the rest should be soup.
2006-02-13 04:49:51 PM  
I think I need to go higher, Jim....
2006-02-13 04:53:57 PM  
2006-02-13 04:55:25 PM  
M Bison: I doubt our fighting back has anything to do with it. We don't fight back til attacked so the attack is already on the books.

You don't think the sharks talk to one another? Word is getting around.

Oh, We're Not Gonna Take It
No, We Ain't Gonna Take It
Oh, We're Not Gonna Take It Anymore
2006-02-13 05:25:44 PM  
Hey, I thought Tony made Riff and Bernardo agree to a fair fight...
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