Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(KETV)   Iowa man in trouble after wife shows police his "Contract of Wifely Expectations" including "You will shave every third day," and "You will be naked within 20 minutes of the kids being in bed"   ( divider line 213
    More: Weird  
•       •       •

39698 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Feb 2006 at 11:36 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

213 Comments   (+0 »)

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all
2006-02-07 08:43:09 AM  
I think my meaning was mis understood. I did not mean to imply that his relationship is what I want. But having all your cards on the table before you comit to something permanet (like marrage) can only be a good thing.

If both of you know what to expect from each other, and what you both want then that can only help the relationship. Now whether that is in the form of a written contract or being fully open with your partner is down to personal preference (I prefer the latter these days) but the end result is the same.

My mistake was in not telling my partners who I am and what I like until it was too late, at which point it becomes an issue within the relationship and, in my case, consumed me to the point where neither of us were happy.

So, the idea is sound even if his implementaion of it is a little shaky.

/It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me
2006-02-07 08:44:26 AM  
As far as that 1955 clipping goes; it reminds me of a scene from Pleasantville. It's towards the end of the movie and Betty Parker (Joan Allen) has started to turn "Technicolor". She's leaving her husband, George Parker (William Macy) because of the turn. At the end of the second day George been reduced to eating olives and wearing old clothes because he can't cook or clean. Same thing with my grand parents, my Grandma went away for a week and all Gramps ate was cereal and sardines on crackers. Who really had control there?? I think it's the whole looking like your in control verus actually being in control.

/My $0.02
2006-02-07 08:47:18 AM  
Isn't Obey in the original contract?
2006-02-07 08:54:00 AM  
The guy KIDNAPPED his wife and then made a contract that she had to abide by. Those of you saying that he should be made a hero sicken me.

/Glad she listened to her mama to not date a retarded American.
2006-02-07 09:07:05 AM  
What a freak. Sounds like mommy and daddy didn't give him enough hugs when he was a kid.

2006-02-07 09:15:57 AM  
Okay, to be fair, no one is defending any abuse. Some people are simply pointing out that she may in fact have been a completely voluntary participant in the contract, and that the contract isn't anything exceptional.

Some people just don't know how to react to lifestyles they don't understand. Like the whole dichotomy of some women feeling that strippers are objectified and abused while others think they are liberated and strong.

Some people just aren't looking for the same things out of life that you are. That doesn't make it wrong. And it doesn't make people who are looking for complimentary things wrong. It's all part of what makes us unique and human.
2006-02-07 09:16:41 AM
2006-02-07 09:24:56 AM  
Ok that does it, we're watching that this weekend.
2006-02-07 09:25:34 AM  
Sorry. Between forcible rape, illegal detainment, and, oh, yeah, CHILD PORN, I'd say what we're seeing here is a seriously demented individual who was/is at a very high risk of escalating. In other words, today you tie up the wife and rape her, tomorrow you tie up a neighborhood kid and do the same. This man is a criminal. It's sad that he can actually commit rape upon his wife and think he can get off scott-free, but maybe when he serves time for the child porn, he can earn GBDs from Tiny "Sweetcheeks" Johnson in jail (provided he can be naked within 20 seconds of lights-out).
2006-02-07 09:29:08 AM

LetsGo: The Good Wife's Guide
From Housekeeping Monthly, 13 May, 1955.

According to snopes, that list might be a pile of crap. It probably is, since I've seen it on the net evrywhere, always attributed to a different source.
2006-02-07 09:31:01 AM  
braedan: Announcer: Today we salute YOU Mr. Has a sex contract with his wife guy.

if this thread had voting, you'd win.
2006-02-07 09:31:56 AM  
That is an awfully sensational headline. There is nothing wrong with the contract and I am pretty sure you can't be arrested for drawing it up no matter what is in it.

He was arrested for kidnapping her (tieing her to the bed without concent) and kiddie porn.

You can write up this "contract" whenever you want. Maters jakshiat. It's not illegal at all.

That is whath appens when some bumblefark tv station in Nebraska needs a headline for the web and the producer first year out of college wants to go drink beer when they put it up.
2006-02-07 09:33:55 AM  
Don't you people realize that the opportunity to win good behavior days helps keep a marriage fresh, alive, spontaneous and above all, romantic?
2006-02-07 09:35:34 AM  
Ah, where is that Greek goddess that goes around shooting stupid people when you need her? This guy need an arrow in his head.

Good behaviour days? This guy is treating his wife like a child. No wonder he was downloading kiddie porn. That garbage is more about power, domination, and humiliation that the sexual turn on.
2006-02-07 09:36:53 AM  
FunkOut: That garbage is more about power, domination, and humiliation that the sexual turn on.

1. Duh
2. Millions of people do it on a regular basis
3. go thump your bible some place else.
2006-02-07 09:42:30 AM  
great...the defense attorney has my last name. if he was a relative, i'd have to disavow him.
2006-02-07 09:53:05 AM  
I've got 10 to 1 odds she ends up dead if he gets bail.

/At first looked like fun reading, then it went down hill pretty fast
2006-02-07 09:53:42 AM  
braedan: Announcer: Today we salute YOU Mr. Has a sex contract with his wife guy.

Announcer: Some men leave sex with their wife to chance, but not you, you have a notarized 47 page document explaining just how often you take the skin boat to tuna town

Background guy: All aboard!!

So crack open a cold one of oh drafter of the document that gets you derriere, you may not be romantic but we think you're brilliant!

Background guy: Happy Vaaalentine's Daaaay

Anheiser Bush, St. Louis Missori

(real quick, real dirty)

that is fantastic.. very well done.
2006-02-07 09:55:11 AM  
My first thougts:

The wife wants a divorce and has a grudge against her husband; she is now trying to do as much damage to him as possible.

The couple was probably into some BDSM stuff where the wife is a full-time submissive. This sort of contract would not be uncommon in that culture, and is simply part of the fantasy. The "child-porn" is probably stuff from somewhere like MET-Art were they photograph young looking 18-19 year olds... OR... the wife planted some stuff on his computer to frame him.

OR... I'm wrong and the guy likes to look at pictures of naked 10 year olds - in which case he can go rot in hell.
2006-02-07 09:58:43 AM  
I really don't care what people do in their bedrooms, but the fact that he has child pornography, kidnapped his wife, and is obviously into S/M & D/S, I think its a bit obvious he's a whacko who uses sex to show his "control". Having kinky sex is one thing, being whacko that shows his frustrations through sex is another.
2006-02-07 09:59:46 AM  
Ah, Pleasantville.

Or, more-properly-named, "Guess what, Conservatives, your world actually blows."
2006-02-07 10:01:03 AM  
FunkOut: "That garbage is more about power, domination, and humiliation that the sexual turn on."

I think there's a lot about sex that is related to all that on the unconscious level. Just think about the positions.

/or are you a missionary kinda guy?
2006-02-07 10:01:08 AM  

I can't believe all of you people are agreeing with this sick abusive pervert!!! I am so glad I'm not married to any of you.

When's the last time you got a good butterin'?

B A [TotalFark]
2006-02-07 10:05:14 AM  
she SAID she never signed the contract - story didn't say if signatures were evident or not. she SAID he tied her to the bed & raped her, it hasn't been proven true OR false as yet. the kiddie-porn was found but who downloaded it is still unproven. People - there is nothing wrong with the contract unless she actually didn't agree to it. If she didn't agree to it she could have moved on. Being tied to the bed is not automatically forcible & the sex is not automatically rape - lots of couples practice B&D & sex games - & just 'cause she got mad at him & cried rape doesn't make it true. I aint saying he's innocent but since none of us was there - STFU & let the jury decide.
2006-02-07 10:07:32 AM  
how hard could it have been for the wife to set him up

You are not sleazy, simply expressing a valid point. It is quite possible you are correct.

If you aren't I hope he likes his "wifely contract" he gets presented with in the PIA sex sweepstakes.
2006-02-07 10:10:18 AM  
Since when did Fark become a troll fest?
2006-02-07 10:11:07 AM

"I don't know how they can tie this to my client making any demands on his wife. I mean, I could have put these together. I mean, there's no names. There's names on them and everything, but anyone could have put these documents together," McGinn said.

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
2006-02-07 10:11:12 AM  
Geez... This guy has been *accused* of something, he hasn't been *convicited* yet... all you fine folks need is some torches and pitchforks to complete your little knee-jerk-groupthink-inspired mob.
2006-02-07 10:12:32 AM  
I can't believe all of you people are agreeing with this sick abusive pervert!!! I am so glad I'm not married to any of you.

well, if you don't practice his hygienic rules I am so glad I'm not married to you!

/Just kidding
//Had to say something
2006-02-07 10:18:14 AM  
This would really be bigger news if the woman in question was someone like this.
2006-02-07 10:26:26 AM  
The sanctity of marriage must be protected from
same-sex unions!

/Chucking a molotov that I'm suprised hasn't been before
2006-02-07 10:29:01 AM  
2006-02-07 10:10:18 AM astrahl

Since when did Fark become a troll fest?

February 12, 1999.
2006-02-07 10:31:05 AM  
Sorry, that should have been February 12, 1999. (fixed the link)
2006-02-07 10:47:27 AM  
I honestly don't see a problem with the contract. It does depend on the circumstances and what all he wanted her to do but is asking for a naked shaven wife really that big of a deal? And yes she claims he tied her up and abused her, but I have a friend that will punch, bite, and scratch herself when she fights with her husband and say that he did it, and I know first hand that women will do some twisted stuff to get a guy back for whatever he did. If my husband wanted me to sign a contract, I probably would.
2006-02-07 10:56:29 AM
HEY! You get your biatch-ass back in the kitchen, and make me some pie!
2006-02-07 11:20:44 AM  
LetsGo, and everyone else who responded

The Good Wife's Guide From Housekeeping Monthly, 13 May, 1955.

This article is fake (pops -

Snopes has a nice analysis on that article, and others like it.
2006-02-07 11:24:12 AM  
melicks And anyone else using the word "kink"

People who practice BDSM for the most part do not use the word "kink" to describe it. Kink implies that it is mearly a sexual act which no other factor features in on. More accurately, the term for it would be "lifestyle", as this is quite literally what it is, expecially in a total power exchange relationship. These "slave contracts" are quite common between a Master/Dom and submissive/slave, as they not only outline each persons expectations, but they also provide a measure of legal resposability and protection for both parties in the relationship. In fact, many states will toss a domestic case if one of these exists, and the act was proven to be consentual.

However, the whole kiddie porn thing is aweful. He needs to be locked in a little white cell and the key thrown away.

/submissive straight male and proud of it.
///Doing Abnormal Psych paper on Sadomasochistic Lifestyles.
////Slashie Slashie

If you ever get the chance
2006-02-07 11:36:46 AM  
No matter how this turns out, their kids will suffer damage.

/nothing funny here
2006-02-07 11:59:14 AM  

Well said.

/Experienced Dom
2006-02-07 12:05:43 PM  
forcing one to shave every three days is cruel and unusual punishment. I am wincing in pain thinking about it. Hasn't this farking neanderthal heard of waxing? I'd believe it was a consensual contract if it said she had to keep herself *waxed*. Shaving is vicious on the kitty. Ain't no woman gonna willingly shave the kitty every three days. Good way to turn it feral. Not that waxing is fun, but in 30 minutes it's over for 6 weeks, compared to days of post shaving coochie trauma.

I vote he's an abusive creep.
If she wanted out she'd leave, not download kiddie porn.
I'm all about contracts. I put out daily and then some (no really) and in exchange DH is required to hold a sensible job and not dump it to go chase pie in the sky BS company start ups with geeker gamer dotcrash startup nerd friends.
2006-02-07 12:26:27 PM  
"I'd like my hubby to replace the toilet paper roll when it runs out, put the seat down and the like, but to write up a written contract about it says the relationship is pretty farked up."

Put the damn seat down yourself, you lazy toad.

"If she wanted out she'd leave, not download kiddie porn."

Actually, framing the guy with kiddie porn makes things a lot easier - she gets a scot-free divorce and probably everything he owns. Nothing he can say because as soon as your name gets slapped together with 'kiddie porn' you're toast. Great scam if you think about it.
2006-02-07 12:29:09 PM  
sms444: //One person "owning" another or having control over the other is an antiquated and sad ideal for a marriage

I own my girlfriend all the time and expect to continue to do so once we are married.

...wait we aren't talking about Mario Kart DS?
2006-02-07 12:29:52 PM  
Mija: For you slow farkers out there, I don't think he was making her shave her LEGS every three days. Try a little higher.

Gross! she has a mustache?
2006-02-07 12:35:56 PM  
Gross! she has a mustache?

Why do you think it was spelled out explicitly? That's going in any future contracts I make. Can't be with anyone that has a mustache. *shudder*
2006-02-07 12:48:23 PM  
I have thought about this myself. My marriage contract would inlcude a clause garenteeing sex "wherever, whenever, and however" I want it. Also a maximum body fat percentage. And a permanently denuded cooch. And a ceritan minimum amount of time spent wearing sexy clothes like 4 inch heel strappy sandles and short skirts. Of course in fairness similar demands would be placed on me. I feel that both spouses obligation is to be as attractive to each other as possible for as long as possible. It may be superficial, but I'd be willing to divorce a woman if she let herself go and refused to get back in shape.
2006-02-07 12:57:12 PM  
Infinite Entropy:
It may be superficial, but I'd be willing to divorce a woman if she let herself go and refused to get back in shape.
Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role
And tell you that the butt ain't gold
So they toss it and leave it
And I pull up quick to retrieve it
2006-02-07 01:06:31 PM  
The Arkansas version of this contract only requires shaving bi-monthly!
2006-02-07 01:19:16 PM  
It may be superficial, but I'd be willing to divorce a woman if she let herself go and refused to get back in shape.

Divorce may be a bit harsh. Ideally you provide her with things she wants in return for complying with your desires. If she stops complying, then you are released from the things you agreed to provide. At that point, you try to find a way to re-negotiate (find something that she feels IS worth the effort, or find something that would make you just has happy that she minds less).

People change over time, and I think most people in successful relationships go through these renegotiations (either explicitly or implicitly) many times over the run of the relationship. Divorce is only necessary when one person cannot find anything in the other that they value as much as what they are giving.
2006-02-07 02:01:41 PM  
hardinparamedic: People who practice BDSM for the most part do not use the word "kink" to describe it.

Bullshiat. "we" use it all the time.

Don't speak for everyone even if you have someone.
2006-02-07 02:20:38 PM  
In my experience, I've never heard a lifestyle Dom or Domme use kink to describe their activities. Mosey.
Displayed 50 of 213 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Last | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter

In Other Media

  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.