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(KETV)   Iowa man in trouble after wife shows police his "Contract of Wifely Expectations" including "You will shave every third day," and "You will be naked within 20 minutes of the kids being in bed"   (ketv.com ) divider line
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39702 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Feb 2006 at 11:36 PM (10 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



212 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2006-02-07 01:33:28 AM  
If I were to make a contract of husbandly duties it would include the provision "you will not itch your balls while getting food from the fridge"
 
2006-02-07 01:34:00 AM  
Nice to see the ol' hometown on Fark. This makes the second time since I joined Fark.
 
2006-02-07 01:40:11 AM  
Savonarola_Redux

Well I should go on a roadtrip just to get a picture of me standing in front of it. It'll have to wait until I have some other business in the area though.
 
2006-02-07 01:43:43 AM  
The_Shoggoth

Point taken, especially in the case of a parent/child relationship. I suppose that there can be love in an unequal relationship, and I guess I should rephrase my statement - I would not be satisfied with a relationship (whatever the level of love) if I was in a position that was either greater or less than equal. One person existing in a romantic relationship to "serve or to please" another is indeed servitute, and I couldn't think of a master/servant relation ever being known as love.

Perhaps it's just me, but I think many people would agree.
 
2006-02-07 01:45:14 AM  
I'd be willing to bet next week's unemployment check that this dude is a registered GOP member and listens to Rush Limbaugh on a daily basis.
 
2006-02-07 01:47:07 AM  
nubianrdly: Looks like someone's been doing some reading...

I have a lot of photos of the author. When she was younger.

And not pretending to be blonde anywhere.

/roast beef flaps then, too
 
2006-02-07 01:55:44 AM  
sms444:
Without equality there can be no real love...

That's the sort of statement that is trivially true so long as you're free to define your terms. In effect you're saying only that people who disagree with you have a different idea of "real love." Personally, I think that men and women normally want different things out of each other, and normally the strength of that desire is not equal, so the odds are badly stacked against an "equal" relationship. The needier one generally gets owned (both ways.)

One person "owning" another or having control over the other is an antiquated and sad ideal for a marriage

It may not turn you on or strike you as in vogue, but that's you. I would suppose that more men think they want this than would be able to tolerate it if they got it. When you subjugate people you are stuck with them in a commitment more extensive than marriage--a fact the Southerners should have pondered before they imported real slaves.
 
2006-02-07 01:56:39 AM  
sms444

I have no doubt most people would agree with you. In fact, having been through it, I probably would too. Being a dominant is a lot of farking work, and having an equal is tons more fun. But she needed it, and the truth is I learned quite a bit about strength and confidence, myself.

And this is drifting way off topic, I think.
 
2006-02-07 01:57:49 AM  
"The Good Wife's Guide
From Housekeeping Monthly, 13 May, 1955.

* Have dinner ready...."

Effective 1955 median income tax rate: 9.1%

If I paid half as much taxes we could afford for my wife to stay home. Damn progressive liberal policies are destroying the middle class, while leaving the poverty rates at the same (or higher) % since before this country became rampant with socialism.
 
2006-02-07 01:58:42 AM  
LetsGo: The Good Wife's Guide
From Housekeeping Monthly, 13 May, 1955.


Those were the days
 
2006-02-07 02:01:46 AM  
2006-02-07 01:55:44 AM ShannonKW

Well said.
 
2006-02-07 02:03:31 AM  
www.jcu.edu.au
 
2006-02-07 02:12:27 AM  
This sounds like some kind of little "lover's game" they played, and now the details are being revealed to embarass him.

If this happened within the confines of a consenual relationship, then who really cares what fark.com thinks? That includes you, ladies. You aren't married to the guy. Feel free not to date guys who do this. Conversely she was free to drop on him any contracts she wanted (article didn't say if she did so or not).

I'm glad you guys are in such stable and healthy relationships *rolls eyes*
 
2006-02-07 02:13:34 AM  
I don't know much about contract law; is there such a thing as a good faith expectation of poontang?
 
2006-02-07 02:16:08 AM  
PopeBenedictXVI

If I paid half as much taxes we could afford for my wife to stay home. Damn progressive liberal policies are destroying the middle class, while leaving the poverty rates at the same (or higher) % since before this country became rampant with socialism.



Yea, the massive expansion to medicare last year by the liberals was just crushing. And the huge defense spending increases by those wily liberal types has just been too much to handle.

"Tax and spend is starting to look better than 'spend with no tax'" -- Some guy in a forum earlier today.
 
2006-02-07 02:22:23 AM  
My girlfriend and I had the whole 'prenup' talk. I said that, since we are both intelligent people, fully capable of getting a job and earning money - that in the event of a divorce there should be no expectation of one of us to support or provide for the other. That, we'll each retain ownership of our own possessions and split shared costs, etc, etc - like roommates do.

She wanted a clause that said, if I cheated on her, she could basically ignore all of the above (you know, even though it's perfectly logical) because she'd be upset and want to financially ruin my life. I told her, she could have her clause as long as I got one ensuring that she provided an adaqute level of 'comfort' to me for the course of the marriage - and should she fail to do so; it would nullify the cheating provision.

Basically, I won't bang skanks at the bar as long as she acts like a skank for me at home. It makes PERFECT sense to me....but somehow she got upset.
 
2006-02-07 02:23:45 AM  
The_Shoggoth--Who is Paragon and Angel? I have read all the Gor series books. But I don't know anything about the afore mentioned.


/got awful tired of the master/slave redundancy early in series.
//wants more than John Norman's ideas of male/female relationships.
//his last book was a major disappointment as far as action was concerned.
/// 3/4 of book was about the same old slave crap, very boring subject after 30+ years
//// sleen slashies!
 
2006-02-07 02:27:16 AM  
RobDude

When the guy cheats on the girl: "He's no good! He's a dog who doesn't respect you!"

When the girl cheats on the guy: "What did he do to make you cheat?"


I'm with you. Guys are easy. As long as we get our
medicine, it's all good. Bad things start to happen when
the account isn't serviced on a regular basis.

/Don't hate. That's just reality.
 
2006-02-07 02:28:32 AM  
sorry, is=are
 
2006-02-07 02:40:25 AM  
Um, isnt that a civil contract? Has nothing whatsoever to do with any criminal proceedings.

Moving along.. nothing to see here..
 
2006-02-07 02:41:04 AM  
"Yea, the massive expansion to medicare last year by the liberals was just crushing. And the huge defense spending increases by those wily liberal types has just been too much to handle."

Neocons are fiscally liberal, socially buttwipes.
 
2006-02-07 02:44:14 AM  
www.geekagency.com
 
2006-02-07 02:44:44 AM  
Letsgo

If my wife could stay at home all day I would likely expect most of those things.

Conversely, if my wife worked and I could stay home, I would provide those things for her.

And remember knowing your place is does not mean she is lesser. She controls his little world. I think that was like a little secret hint to them.. you know, more like : Know Your Place *wink wink nudge nudge*.

/those were the days
// this republican war is gonna fark us hard taxwise when buxh skips out of office
///democratic socialist reform started before 1955.
 
2006-02-07 02:48:55 AM  
braedan: Announcer: Some men leave sex with their wife to chance, but not you, you have a notarized 47 page document explaining just how often you take the skin boat to tuna town

Background guy: All aboard!!


Man...that was classic. Here, have a cookie.
 
2006-02-07 02:56:45 AM  
Mocke:

I agree.
Like my grandpa used to say.. pussy is what makes the world go around.
 
2006-02-07 03:23:26 AM  
Civics 101.....you suspected of crime...police gather some evidence...judge issue warrant....you arrested....grand jury indict.....go to trial....jury convict or aquit....


when you get to the "you arrested" part, it goes much better for you if you turn yourself in, and participate willingly in the justice system. Turning yourself in is NOT an admission of guilt, it's a submission to authority.

Jackass.


But will the jury see it that way?
 
2006-02-07 03:25:19 AM  
Calling the cops equals negative 5 bazillion points.
 
2006-02-07 03:36:46 AM  
This guy neds to be imprisoned... I mean, come on... 20 minutes after the kids are in bed? I accept nothing over 8 minutes.

This guys gives men a bad name by allowing his wife to do whatever she damn well pleases.

He sickens me.
 
2006-02-07 03:38:13 AM  
I think that a jury will only be informed about the circumstances regarding your arrest if you resist arrest. I don't think its admissable otherwise. Actually, resiting arrest might not even be admissable, it might have to be tried separately.

They specifically want to encourage people to turn themselves in, because it's dangerous and a pain in the ass to try to catch someone who's fighting about it. I would think that they would make an effort to NOT penalize someone for following the rules.
 
2006-02-07 03:38:53 AM  
Is this inflammatory enough?
www.chefann.com
 
2006-02-07 03:41:59 AM  
Tenkin

Please.
It's worthless unless you include specifications regarding position and lubrication.
 
2006-02-07 03:53:37 AM  
He should convert to Islam then he can claim the government has no right to iterfere with his religion and its ways with women ( I think the Mormons is a good one for women control too but you have to move to Utah while Islams abuse is world wide against women). He could go to the Congo and buy a Black woman today for around $400. Funny how Muslims still sell African Blacks as SLAVES today in 2006 and nobody cares. The great thing about this story is the woman could go to the cops or just up and leave him if she wanted. Most women on this planet don't get any say over their life.
 
2006-02-07 04:23:37 AM  
For you slow farkers out there, I don't think he was making her shave her LEGS every three days. Try a little higher.
 
2006-02-07 04:40:51 AM  
Mija

Armpits?
 
2006-02-07 06:02:17 AM  
For you slow farkers out there, I don't think he was making her shave her LEGS every three days. Try a little higher.

Armpits?


Nahh, probably her chin and moustache!
 
2006-02-07 06:12:39 AM  
Savonarola_Redux

mmmm Paragon has really good burgers and 48oz margaritas
 
2006-02-07 06:19:50 AM  
Can't see a problem with the contract, or at least being honest right from the start about what you want from a relationship.

Maybe If I'd done it I wouldn't be single now.

/life, who needs it?
 
2006-02-07 06:27:28 AM  
2006-02-07 02:23:45 AM kirkrichards

Not that you'll be back to read it probably, but my friend was Angel and I am Paragon. (Yes, the tenses are unfortunately correct.)
 
2006-02-07 07:06:28 AM  
Maybe she couldn't sign the contract because she was tied to the bed.
 
2006-02-07 07:10:32 AM  
the contract sounds like it's part of a TPE(Total Power Exchange) relationship. It's common in the kink community. But the child porn? Baaaaad stuff.
 
2006-02-07 07:44:03 AM  
Delapsus
Can't see a problem with the contract, or at least being honest right from the start about what you want from a relationship.

Maybe If I'd done it I wouldn't be single now.

Or maybe you would have been single sooner.


Seriously, why do you idiots who think like this guy even get married? Why not just keep a hooker on call and hire a housekeeper? It's apparent that's all some of you think a life partner is good for. But please, by all means, let women you date know right away what kind of neanderthal idiot you are. Any woman with any degree of self respect would tell you to take a hike, so it's best to reveal yourself as the superficial a-holes you are right off the bat. It wastes less time.

/not just picking on Delapsus
 
2006-02-07 07:51:25 AM  
You know you're wife is non-compliant when she pulls the "dolphin" on you.

The "dolphin" occurs when you're making love to your wife from behind and become dislodged, upon attempt at re-entry you mistakenly go for the wrong orifice and she turns her head up atcha and says "eh-eh, eh-eh,eh-eh"

/hehe
 
2006-02-07 07:58:45 AM  
This guy needs a "hero" tag.
 
2006-02-07 08:00:40 AM  
Actually, dodeca.., the women who "get into" this kind of relationship are the ones, of your gender, who only want a good looking neanderthal with money so they can sit on their fat arses and pop out kids as that is THEIR idea of what a relationship is for. Oh yeah, and shop and "do lunch" with their other homewife leeches.

Or I could have it all wrong. What do you think?
 
2006-02-07 08:14:25 AM  
schgsyi, I think they deserve each other. Any woman who treats a man as a meal ticket is just as bad, but again, anyone with half a brain could see signs of this this early on in a dating relationship unless they're focusing on the wrong things. Just avoid these women. Superficial a-holes come in both sexes, neither one has a corner on that market.
 
2006-02-07 08:15:28 AM  
"I don't know how they can tie this to my client making any demands on his wife. I mean, I could have put these together. I mean, there's no names. There's names on them and everything, but anyone could have put these documents together," McGinn said.

snl.jt.org
 
2006-02-07 08:21:03 AM  
"I don't know how they can tie this to my client making any demands on his wife. I mean, I could have put these together. I mean, there's no names. There's names on them and everything, but anyone could have put these documents together," McGinn said.

Hehe, lawywers make me throw up a little in my mouth.
 
2006-02-07 08:21:19 AM  
braedan

brilliant.
 
2006-02-07 08:42:24 AM  
This guy has got to be a Mormon.
 
2006-02-07 08:43:09 AM  
I think my meaning was mis understood. I did not mean to imply that his relationship is what I want. But having all your cards on the table before you comit to something permanet (like marrage) can only be a good thing.

If both of you know what to expect from each other, and what you both want then that can only help the relationship. Now whether that is in the form of a written contract or being fully open with your partner is down to personal preference (I prefer the latter these days) but the end result is the same.

My mistake was in not telling my partners who I am and what I like until it was too late, at which point it becomes an issue within the relationship and, in my case, consumed me to the point where neither of us were happy.

So, the idea is sound even if his implementaion of it is a little shaky.

/It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me
 
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