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(UPI)   Home paper shredders identified as injury threat, and not just when you're drunk and want to see what it can handle   (upi.com) divider line 44
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5438 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Feb 2006 at 10:40 PM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



44 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2006-02-06 06:53:55 PM  
Hey, I was doing that on Friday night. Mine choked on last month's Report On Business magazine. Yeah, I'm a wild man!

/please shoot me
 
2006-02-06 07:08:52 PM  
Back in the early 90's I worked for market research company that had to shred large volumes of paperwork on a daily basis.

They bought an enormous industrial shredder that would take phonebook-thickness stacks of whatever you could stuff into the thing, including 3 ring binders, metal fasteners, etc and reduce it to confetti in no time at all. Of course, it had a safety feed system with all kinds of interlocks to prevent some moron from getting sucked into it.

I offered a legal-size clipboard (the old-school brown masonite material ones) up to the shredder gods. The machine ate it, never slowing down once, right up to the main springy-steel part, which it rejected into a side compartment.
 
2006-02-06 07:13:08 PM  
I burned up the head on my last one. I just bought a Royal 85x in time for my annual taxes / document "filing" ritual. It makes paperwork fun.
 
2006-02-06 07:18:14 PM  
We have one that chows hard disk drives at work. Pure awesome.

members.cox.net
 
2006-02-06 07:20:00 PM  
Oh, almost forgot to post this link:

Movies of Giant Industrial Shredders Destroying Stuff (pops)

Be sure to watch the one where they shred an entire BMW!
 
2006-02-06 08:23:43 PM  
Today's phrase is:

"total morselization of body due to being pulled by a gloved hand into a commercial wood chipper."

LOVELAND, Colo. -- The man who was pulled into a commercial wood chipper and killed was identified Thursday as the owner of a tree trimming service.

The coroner said Brian Ganiard Morse, 54, was killed instantly Wednesday afternoon when his hand got caught and he was somehow pulled into the machine.

Morse was identified using fingerprints.

The Larimer County Coroner ruled the death accidental and said Morse's cause of death was "total morselization of body due to being pulled by a gloved hand into a commercial wood chipper."

Morse owned Brian's Tree Trimming and Removal Service in Loveland.

Police said there are no indications that alcohol or drugs were factors in the accident and the results of toxicology tests are pending. There are no indications of suspicious circumstances or foul play, investigators said.

Morse's partner saw what happened from the hydraulic bucket where he was cutting branches. He got down and ran to the house where they were working to ask for help. The woman inside called 911 for help, but Morse was pronounced dead at the scene.

Officers with the Occupational Safety and Health Administration is looking into whether the machine's safety equipment was working properly.

From 1992 to 2002, 31 people died on the job from injuries associated with mobile wood chippers, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Operators of mobile wood chippers, which have rotating blades to turn branches into mulch, face the potential risk of getting pulled into the feed mechanism. They are advised to wear close-fitting clothing and stand within reach of the emergency shutoff button.

Matt Newell, owner of Newell Brothers Tree Service in Fort Collins, said a chipper running at full speed can shred a 20-inch-wide log in 10 or 15 seconds. He said most tree services use wood chippers that are about 6 feet wide.

The industrial accident occurred in front of a home near the intersection of Wilson and Fountain avenues, at approximately 1:15 p.m.
 
2006-02-06 10:44:07 PM  
Morselization?
www.ealasaid.com
You betcha.
 
2006-02-06 10:46:21 PM  
Someone cue in peter and his pencil sharpener.
 
2006-02-06 10:50:00 PM  
I was really excited when I got mine a year or so ago. The first thing I put in it was an AOL cd. Makes a pretty good sound on those cds .
 
2006-02-06 10:50:05 PM  
This article only requires one word of response:


DUH!
 
2006-02-06 10:51:58 PM  
mine is a whimpy one that you could barely get a smashed flat finger into......not that is any way to dispose of the bo__.
 
2006-02-06 10:58:33 PM  
What a coincidence.

I'm drinking (really crap too: Great Lakes Brewery Conway's Irish Ale) and cleaning out the basement.

I have many oddments in the basement collected over the years, not all are of a shape or size convenient for a 55 gallon trash bag.

I bought a Sawzall-clone at Harbor Freight a week or so ago for $20.

So I'm sitting there, studying the thing intently for a good half hour trying to figure out how the blade goes in. Then I think, "Hmm, this might be an awesome way to trim my fingernails... NO. Inanimate objects *only*"
 
2006-02-06 11:00:36 PM  
I know who can handle dangerous shredders....

img52.imageshack.us
 
2006-02-06 11:05:25 PM  
I wonder if "morselization" is in the Oxford?
 
2006-02-06 11:07:51 PM  
From the Oxford English Dictionary:

morselize ("mO:Rs@laIz), v. rare. [f. morsel n.
+ -ize.]
trans. To break up into small pieces. Hence morselization,
the act of dividing into small pieces.
 
2006-02-06 11:08:41 PM  

can it shred a FART


Who's two?
 
2006-02-06 11:09:17 PM  
Busted paper shredders can be dismantled. The shredding discs make dandy slingshot projectiles...
 
2006-02-06 11:09:33 PM  
They also make a great Fettucini.
 
2006-02-06 11:13:45 PM  
hexane

They also make a great Fettucini.

We used to use pasta mills as paper shredders. Worked great.
 
2006-02-06 11:14:14 PM  
Candygram4Mongo: Busted paper shredders can be dismantled. The shredding discs make dandy slingshot projectiles...


Ah. Oriza discs. Those will be good when the wolves come.



/Five points.
 
2006-02-06 11:20:33 PM  
Movies of Giant Industrial Shredders Destroying Stuff (pops)

I totally have to get one of those, since I keep all of my financial records on couches and truck tires.
 
2006-02-06 11:21:57 PM  
I think I'd pay to watch some guy get his tie stuck in one, slowly drawing his face in.
 
2006-02-06 11:24:16 PM  
I work for the US Consumer Product Safety Comission.

So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.

Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.

But trust me.... You don't.

I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.

This is how bad info gets passed around.

If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.

Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.
 
2006-02-06 11:32:07 PM  
In anticipation of the growing risk, researchers concluded the article with a call to manufacturers to redesign the shredders to make them safer and to display clear warnings directly on the machines.

Display A Clear Warning!!!! What so the Toddler or the Dog can read it!!

Rutro!
 
2006-02-06 11:32:17 PM  
Maybe I need to get a better shredder. The only way I could get a body part into mine is if I sliced it paper thin and fed it in.
 
2006-02-07 12:09:49 AM  
UberDave wins the thread!
 
2006-02-07 12:44:35 AM  
"UberDave wins the thread!"

incorrect
 
2006-02-07 12:58:05 AM  
Good one UberDave
 
2006-02-07 01:02:53 AM  
In other news, paying attention and watching your children helps prevent stupid shiat like this from happening...
 
2006-02-07 01:35:20 AM  
I sell these things:

THe simpliest thing - if your worried someone's gonna use it, unplug it when your not using it. I doubt anyone who's buying it for home use is going to need it on all the time. I keep a small bin (an unused side drawer) and toss to-shred stuff in there. When it annoys me enough, I plug in the shredder, and empty the drawer. Then put it away. No little hands can get to it that way. The bin it came with is my regular trash-bin too, I only put away the actual head of the unit.
 
2006-02-07 01:36:44 AM  
my girlfriend got her hair stuck in one a few months back. the damage is still quite visible, and i still get a good laugh out of it
 
2006-02-07 01:56:24 AM  
I totally have to get one of those, since I keep all of my financial records on couches and truck tires.

My name is Earl, and I'm trying to become a better person.
 
2006-02-07 02:04:31 AM  
First thing that comes to mind is that Family Guy episode where Peter is left alone in his new office and contemplates what you can put in the electric pencil sharpener.
 
2006-02-07 02:13:32 AM  
"total morselization of body due to being pulled by a gloved hand into a commercial wood chipper."

Wow. It's not every day we invent a totally new cause of death.

I call it "TMOB" for short.

As in, "after attempting to dismantle the mine with a welding torch, the unfortunate scrap metal dealer was TMOB'bed."
 
2006-02-07 03:18:25 AM  
In other news, you can hurt yourself with a hammer.
Or a drill.
Or saw.
Sander.
Planer.
Paint scraper.
Screwdriver.
Grinder.
Pressure washer.
Blender.
Toaster.
Stove.
Light bulb.
Plastic bag.
Fork.
Pencil.
Bleach.
Shampoo.
Your own finger.
 
2006-02-07 03:41:17 AM  
serutan: In other news, you can hurt yourself with a hammer.
Or a drill.
Or saw.
Sander.
Planer.
Paint scraper.
Screwdriver.
Grinder.
Pressure washer.
Blender.
Toaster.
Stove.
Light bulb.
Plastic bag.
Fork.
Pencil.
Bleach.
Shampoo.
Your own finger.


Oooh, ooh, don't forget dogs.

/dogs are dangerous
 
glk
2006-02-07 05:20:04 AM  
Honey I got fired from my job at the paper shredding factory.

Why?

I stuck my penis in the paper shredder.

Well your penis looks fine, what happened to the paper shredder?

She got fired too...

/In other news, there are paper shredding factories.
 
2006-02-07 08:43:22 AM  
I'm thinking of getting a CD shredder.

One that actually chops up the CD, not just scratches the heck out of them.
 
2006-02-07 10:28:19 AM  
2006-02-07 08:43:22 AM jayessell

I'm thinking of getting a CD shredder.

One that actually chops up the CD, not just scratches the heck out of them.


Two seconds in the microwave does amazing things to a CD or DVD... try it sometime on one that you want to destroy - the CD will remain intact, but the foil in the center gets all crackly.
 
2006-02-07 11:09:58 AM  
errr, ever just crack a CD in half?

2 seconds. Free. Irretrievable.
 
2006-02-07 11:20:08 AM  
errr, ever just crack a CD in half?

The reason they don't just crack a CD, drill a hole in a hard drive platter, or degauss floppy disks in a work environment is that they aren't entirely irretrievable. Split a CD in half, and you render a narrow strip of it along the cracks irretreivable. Partial information can still be recovered from the rest. Now, if you're just throwing away an old CD, that's probably enough. If you're throwing out anything sensitive, illegal, or secret, it's probably not. If it's important enough to send you to jail or give a competitor a major advantage, it's worth the cost somebody else will put into recovery.

Outtaphase, for example, might work at a hospital. Law requires them to render all pateint data completely irretrievable. Fifteen consecutive low level formats will do this to the specifications of the law, but takes a long time. It's easier to either store all old media, or simply destroy them completely, like in the picture.
 
2006-02-07 11:27:42 AM  
I have to destroy all of our clients' health and safety information for 2005 - probably 2500 pieces of paper, give or take - in the office shredder. Which was only designed to take one sheet at a time. Bums.
 
2006-02-07 12:47:40 PM  
Ciao bella: probably 2500 pieces of paper, give or take - in the office shredder. Which was only designed to take one sheet at a time. Bums.

go out into the parking lot with a bottle of strong rubbing alcohol (95% or better, not the shiatty 70% walmart alcohol) and have a bonfire
 
2006-02-07 12:47:48 PM  
2006-02-07 10:28:19 AM kurfu


2006-02-07 08:43:22 AM jayessell

I'm thinking of getting a CD shredder.

One that actually chops up the CD, not just scratches the heck out of them.

Two seconds in the microwave does amazing things to a CD or DVD... try it sometime on one that you want to destroy - the CD will remain intact, but the foil in the center gets all crackly.


You like to buy new microwaves on a regular basis, don't you? Putting metallic objects of any sort in your microwave will reflect the waves back into the magnetron. While its effects may not be immediately apparent, this will burn it out at a greatly accelerated rate. So what have we learned here today?

- Paper shredders are for shredding paper / CDs
- Microwaves are for heating up frozen dinners

/Really need to buy a paper shredder... been accumulating a stack of papers in my closet that I really should shred...
 
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