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(Michelle Malkin)   Blasphemous Jesus pictures? "Run the photos. Free speech." Blasphenous Mohammed pictures? "CNN has chosen to not show the cartoons in respect for Islam"   ( divider line
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20598 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Feb 2006 at 12:09 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2006-02-03 09:52:03 PM  
Thank you everyone, but I already have a religion.

It's called "The Dark Forces of Random Nature", and can be seen in any galaxy in our Universe. You may however, need a telescope to see it...
2006-02-03 09:55:39 PM  
fark mohammed. fark allah. fark Kanye. Islam is a religion dedicated to terror. Kanye is just a racist fark.
2006-02-03 10:10:10 PM  
Oh, don't you start with the Jesus crap... you guys don't want to bring this up do you?

Top 10 Horrifying Sadistic Atrocities found in the Bible

1. The Flood of Genesis
2. The Curses of Exodus
3. Rape and Genocide
4. Slavery (including rules for raping your sex slaves)
5. Firebombing of Sodom and Gomorra
6. Hell for all who doubt the Biblegod's unconditional love.
7. Pointless pain and suffering of all those in the end times
8. Death to the unbelievers
9. Cruel and unusual laws
10. Promotion of hatred

Bottom Line: Neither the Bible nor the Biblegod can be said to have any moral authority!

Go ahead Open the Pandora's Box and expose christianity for what it really is
2006-02-03 10:15:14 PM  
Christianity In A Nutshell:

In the beginning, the Biblegod created the universe. He gave everyone free will to act independently. Then he decided that acting independently of his will was a "sin", something he can't abide being in the presence of. So the Biblegod gave us free will but doesn't want us to use it. The logic here makes my brain hurt so we won't dwell on this point.

Anyway, so the Biblegod's pretty upset about all this sin on earth. Then he came up with a brilliant solution. He sent himself down to earth to assume a human form named "Jesus". He then arranged for himself to be sacrificed to himself. It was the only way he could convince himself to forgive all of us for being sinful.

For a while, the Biblegod's avatar wasn't sure about this mission that he sent himself on but then reminded himself, "Not my will but my will be done." [Matt 26:31] Being on the cross was really painful. At one point, he was heard to say "Me, why have I forsaken me". [Mark 15:34]

However, all the pain and suffering was worth it. If Biblegod hadn't sacrificed himself to himself, he could never have convinced himself to forgive us and change a rule that he made in the first place. He made himself suffer and die on the cross in order that we might be saved from his own wrath.

I'm not sure exactly how bleeding on a cross makes everything better but the Biblegod works in strange ways. Perhaps its some sort of therapy for working through his anger management problems. Regardless, the he hasn't firebombed any cities lately [Gen 19:24-25] or called for the rape and genocide of entire tribes [Num 31:14-18] since the days of the Old Testament, so let's not argue with what apparently works.

Anyone who doesn't accept the Biblegod's unconditional love as demonstrated by his act of masochism on the cross shall be cast into a lake of fire to be tortured for all eternity [Mark 16:16]. Remember, the Biblegod loves you and doesn't want to torture you for all eternity but you'll make him do it if you don't believe this outlandish tale.

Glory to the Biblegod. Amen.
2006-02-03 10:19:47 PM  
That's right--athiests CANNOT prove there's no god. And, likewise, you CANNOT prove there is a god.

Therefore the only logical belief system is AGNOSTICISM.

Learn it. Live it. Love it. ...or not. Really, we just don't care.
2006-02-03 10:31:33 PM  
Sloth_DC: "Thou shalt not seethe a kid in its mother's milk."

seethe = cook

that's the prohibition against eating meat and milk together.

come on.
2006-02-03 10:33:20 PM  
2006-02-03 08:16:39 PM karasoth


because Kanye isn't being jesus to be all christiany

he is being jesus to say "people is persecuting me"

that is bad times

I tried glancing through the article, and the only reference I could find to Jesus was his album, "Jesus Walks."

From Wikipedia:

"Jesus Walks" was the third single from Kanye West's debut album, The College Dropout. Released in 2004, the single peaked at #11 in the USA becoming West's fourth top 20 single; it also peaked at #16 in the UK. The song is notable for being essentially a spiritual song, in which West discusses how Jesus "walks" with all manners of people, from drug dealers and murderers to regular citizens. The song was co-written with rapper (and close friend of West's) Rhymefest. In total, three separate videos were made for Jesus Walks, each funded by West himself.

West built "Jesus Walks" around a sample from the Arc Choir's "Walk with Me". The sample was found by Rhymefest as well. West won the 2005 Grammy Award for Best Rap Song for "Jesus Walks," along with it's co-writer, Fest. The song was nominated for several gospel awards before the awards committees learned that the song contained some explicit language and removed it from the runnings.

"Jesus Walks" gained West further mainstream exposure when it was prominently featured in trailers and commercials for the 2005 film Jarhead.

OMG, how blasphemous!
2006-02-03 10:39:02 PM  
If there really WAS an all-powerful being who created EVERY farking thing in the entire universe...

do you really think it'd care if you put your ding dong in someone else's pooper? Do you really think it'd care about ANYTHING you do?

I think if there's a god, it did like Ron Popiel does. Make a big bang, build your universe, then just "set it and forget it!"
2006-02-03 10:47:50 PM
2006-02-03 11:32:24 PM  
Michelle Maulkin needs a c0ck in her faster than the invasion of the Baulkins.
2006-02-03 11:51:45 PM  
SpectralTech [TotalFark]

When will Christians realize that their modern day "persecution" is a direct result of their compulsive need to wear their faith on their sleeve? My guess in never.

When will non-Christians who expect Christians to allow everyone else to be as loud and proud as they want allow Christians to do the same thing?

And how is it that you can condemn Christians for wearing their faith on their sleeves (a huge bullshiat generalization), ie expressing they are Christians as simply as making that statement, while remaining close-mouthed about Muslims kidnapping and threatening to murder and, let's be honest here, murdering others for what they consider an affront to their faith?

Hypocrite, much?
2006-02-03 11:56:55 PM  

>>mrdctaylor: /And no, I'm not the type to go up to a stranger and accost them. But if you are a friend of mine it'll probably come up.As long as you're fine with making people feel uncomfortable that's ok.

How is what he does any different than anyone that is proud and not afraid to show who they really are? It's called being true to oneself no matter what anyone else thinks. But, I guess that applies to everyone so long as they aren't a Christian, right?
2006-02-04 12:00:52 AM  
2006-02-03 11:51:45 PM dignda31

And how is it that you can condemn Christians for wearing their faith on their sleeves (a huge bullshiat generalization), ie expressing they are Christians as simply as making that statement, while remaining close-mouthed about Muslims kidnapping and threatening to murder and, let's be honest here, murdering others for what they consider an affront to their faith?

Hypocrite, much?

Yes, because:

a) All muslims, not just the fanatical ones, choose publicly engage in murdering and kidnapping.

b) Whenever muslims chose to do so, atheists and agnostics will always give them their wholehearted support.

Jackass, much?

Because we all know that no Christian on Earth, ever, has chosen to take away human life in the name of faith.
2006-02-04 12:02:33 AM  
smeegle [TotalFark]

I wish we could should our "respect" for Islam with a nuclear warhead.

Nice. With intelligent people like you around, I am sure world peace is just around the corner.

Nah, leave peace up to the Muslims. World peace is next on the their agenda after they cross off all the beheadings, bombings, and killing people over cartoons off their list.
2006-02-04 12:40:40 AM  
So, class, this thread serves as a fine example of how even simple disagreements in philosphical viewpoints can be elevated into an emotionally charged argument where pride and ego are the only ultimate determinants of truth.

With that in mind, consider for next week's lesson how that pride and ego can be manipulated, and use contemporary examples of how pride and ego can be used to illustrate, or even prove the ultimate truth.
2006-02-04 12:48:00 AM  

thats not why he did the picture of Jesus for the magazine cover

try to stay on what inspired the outrage


in the written torah yes
Oral Torah...not so much
2006-02-04 01:01:33 AM  

When will non-Christians who expect Christians to allow everyone else to be as loud and proud as they want allow Christians to do the same thing?

How many times have gay people or folks who engage in pre-marital sex or who accept the scientific evidence of evolution and so on ever told you that you will burn in hell for what you do in your "lifestyle"?

Them being "loud and proud" does you no genuine harm. If their behavior is unChristian, then your angry, vengeful god will smite them. When Christians get "loud and proud", it seems to end up with degrading public school science standards, oppression of gays, and moralizing the sexual behavior of other people.
2006-02-04 01:32:19 AM  
I wonder if Bush or anyone else claiming to be a ture Christian has actually read the book...
2006-02-04 01:33:40 AM  
dignda31: ie expressing they are Christians as simply as making that statement, while remaining close-mouthed about Muslims kidnapping and threatening to murder and, let's be honest here, murdering others for what they consider an affront to their faith?

how can you sleep at night knowing somewhere somebody is breathing oxygen? could you come up with an even more bizzare and irrelevent compare and contrast? I don't know...
2006-02-04 02:01:25 AM  
Presuming that Christians take the teaching of Christ seriously, "Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil. ", the 2nd commandment would seem to be a pretty frank prohibition on depictions of anything on Earth, "Thou shalt not make unto thee a graven image, nor any manner of likeness, of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth;"

First verse is Matt 5:17 KJV
Second is Exodus 20:3 KJV
2006-02-04 02:32:30 AM  
and my favorite

Mark 10:25: It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God
2006-02-04 03:15:40 AM  
how often do muslims go to church? at least once a day.
how often do christians go to church? at least once a week.

who is going to be more pissed when religious jokes get tossed around?
2006-02-04 05:42:37 AM  
Touched Inappropriately By The Hand Of God
LoL, a friend of mine was the one that did that snickers commercial :-P

oh btw, in the interest of fairness with religious jokes:

How do you start a jewish parade? Roll a quarter down the street!

And everyone knows about jewish foreplay...

/is jewish
//girlfriend's italian, so no 4 hrs of begging here :-P
///queue the moral outrage, screaming, and bad jokes
2006-02-04 12:26:55 PM  
not that anyone's still reading this, and it's probably been said above, but:
I don't think the people in the primarily mid-eastern and Asian Muslim nations fully understand how important the Europeans (and the west in general, really) take Press Freedom, especially the French and various northern European countries who (along with the US) pretty much invented the concept. It is taken VERY seriously, possibly just as seriously as depictions of the Prophet Muhammed are in Muslim countries. This is a very dangerous situation of misunderstanding. World war have been fought over such ideology (not by any stretch the only reason, but certainly one of the justifications). These freedoms are things that people in normally complacent and tolerant democracies (sometimes depicted as soft and weak by their fundementalist detractors) are willing to fight and die for when confronted head on (as opposed to a gradual withering of rights over time as seen recently in countries like the US in regards to free speech and press). When a group of Muslim protesters unilaterally proclaims "Your press does not have this freedom, you will cease, or you will die", I don't think they fully understand how sacred those freedoms are to us, and how far westerners are willing to go to preserve them. Europeans in particlular have hundreds of years of experience with direct threats to their freedom, and while they generally act civilized and diplomatic (because they know first hand the results of the alternative) they can be viciously violent if angered sufficiently.
God forbid this becomes a situation of "if it's war they want it's war they'll get" because that would be a truly horrible result.
2006-02-04 02:52:50 PM  
I'm still waiting for the thread that says "Today's Iron Photoshop Ingridient: Mohammed". But somehow I know that it won't come. Nobody wants THAT heat.
2006-02-04 04:46:09 PM  
I think the biggest problem is that people still believe in invisible men, and use invisible men to justify their hatred against real men.
2006-02-08 06:10:22 AM  
Watching a Fark posting on depictions of Christ vs. Depictions of Mohammed turn into a religious debate -

Reading people frothing at the mouth as their positions are attacked with venom. -

Seeing some Christain trying to convert us right in this thread - PRICELESS
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