Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(   Flight attendent claims 10-year love affair with Kenny Chesney. "I taught him everything he knows." Would explain why he kept offering Renee Zellweger little foil packets of peanuts after sex   ( divider line
    More: Unlikely  
•       •       •

9986 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Feb 2006 at 2:27 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

75 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2006-02-01 10:33:53 AM  
I wonder how much Peyton Manning paid her to say all this.
2006-02-01 10:38:58 AM  
I'm sure that would come in helpful if he's ever on a sinking boat.
2006-02-01 10:40:38 AM  
by the time I hit "little foil packets" I already thought it was an LSD joke.
2006-02-01 10:43:04 AM  
I find Renee fugly...

/I don't blame you Kenny
2006-02-01 10:46:52 AM  
"Please return to the full upright and locked position"...
2006-02-01 10:48:38 AM  
Excellent headline.
2006-02-01 10:52:21 AM  
Flight Attendant...

please tell me it is a MAN!

/didn't rtfa
2006-02-01 10:53:22 AM  
OlafTheBent: I find Renee fugly...

Me too. She's cute and all, but I seriously can't figure out what makes her worthy to be a Hollywood starlet.
2006-02-01 10:57:02 AM  
great headline.
2006-02-01 11:06:44 AM  
I thought he had the ghey.

I still do.
2006-02-01 11:14:03 AM  
Renne fell out of the ugly tree, hit every branch down, and fell in the Ugly Hole.

She had me puking at hello

/ and yes, I still believe that Kenny is teh ghey... I guess it is just hoping at this point. (Would you date me Kenny... please?)
2006-02-01 11:22:28 AM  
Edsel: I seriously can't figure out what makes her worthy to be a Hollywood starlet.

Casting couch abilities no doubt. If She can keep a ghey guy, she can do anything....
2006-02-01 01:30:23 PM  
img.fark.comView Full Size
Clay Aiken caught on film meeting internet pal noshoesnoshirtsnopants at a hotel in Omaha
2006-02-01 02:07:02 PM  
After sex, he's return Renee to her original upright position.
2006-02-01 02:33:44 PM  
Wow, Peyton was a flight attendant on the side, managing to fit it into his busy schedule? That guy's amazing!
2006-02-01 02:33:55 PM  
Renee's like Seinfeld's two-face.
2006-02-01 02:34:11 PM  
Wonder if she treated him like a floatation device?
2006-02-01 02:34:14 PM  
I want to see a photo of the flight attendant. Anybody who can't do better than some gitar-pickin', pickup truck drivin', beer guzzlin' country music singin' hillbilly.....

Particulary a gitar-pickin', pickup truck drivin', beer guzzlin' country music singin' hillbilly that isn't me.....
2006-02-01 02:34:34 PM  
Worst cover story ever.

He's still flaming ghey.
2006-02-01 02:36:03 PM  
Submitted last week:

Southwest airline dispels rumors of Kenny Chesney being gay by admitting to 10 year affair with him. Still no comment from Peyton Manning
2006-02-01 02:36:20 PM  
Its a man, baby!
2006-02-01 02:36:29 PM  
What is Vice President Chesney doing on a commercial aircraft in the first place? Does an oxygen mask help in the case of pace-maker malfunction?
2006-02-01 02:36:49 PM  
flight attendant
2006-02-01 02:36:59 PM  
Just something about the way Peyton Manning says "Would you sign my melon...."
2006-02-01 02:37:11 PM  
Qermaq: After sex, he's return Renee to her original upright position.

2006-02-01 02:37:52 PM  
Are Peyton Manning and Cheeseney gay on each other?
2006-02-01 02:38:12 PM  
Submitted last week:

This proves that the suck hangs around for at least a week.

-just kiddin'
2006-02-01 02:39:25 PM  
Me too. She's cute and all, but I seriously can't figure out what makes her worthy to be a Hollywood starlet.

It's the lack of sharp knees.
2006-02-01 02:39:50 PM  
She announced this to a planeload of people? Customers? "I taught him everything he knows." And she sang? Sounds like the flight from Hell. Is she *trying* to get fired? Sounds a bit addled, if you ask me.

On the other hand, if you bang a nameless stewardess in 1994, have dozens of one-night stands, then coincidentally bang the same stewardess again in 2004, does that constitute a decade-long relationship?

If I were a star, the question "remember me?" would mean "you banged me once before, so it'll be easier to bang me again now."
2006-02-01 02:41:56 PM  
I heard Kenny Chesney enjoys pudding.
2006-02-01 02:43:26 PM  
Kenny is NOT ghey... but I was surprise he wasn't offered a starring role in Brokebutt Mountme with Heath Leadpenis and that other guy that looks like someone else famous.

do you think ang lee pitched the story line to them before or after they were hired?????
2006-02-01 02:44:21 PM  
KD LAng... THATs who he looks like.. .someone post a picture...
2006-02-01 02:45:18 PM  
2006-02-01 02:45:26 PM  
I'm pretty sure this was a joke. Those wacky Southwest flight attendants are always cracking jokes and trying to be funny.
2006-02-01 02:46:03 PM  
Also explains why he only poured her Diet Coke in half can portions in plastic drink cups.
2006-02-01 02:47:18 PM  

Middle-aged woman claims to have had 10-year-long "love affair" with celebrity, announces this to passengers on a plane, then proceeds to "serenade" them several times duing the same flight. . .

Smart money sez she's bipolar, had a manic break and fantasized the whole thing, and Kenny Chesney still has teh ghey.
2006-02-01 02:48:38 PM  
fly DEEEZZZ friendly skies
2006-02-01 02:49:44 PM  
The flight attendant in question...
[image from too old to be available]
2006-02-01 02:50:00 PM  
I would be opening a little foil packet beforehand
2006-02-01 02:50:16 PM  
He's so brokeback.
2006-02-01 02:50:33 PM Full Size

[image from too old to be available]

Hmmm....well maybe.

/the chesney picture is from a "ask men" website. That tells you something right there
2006-02-01 02:51:01 PM  
If I was Paula, I don't think I'd go around telling everyone that I taught a gay cowboy everything he knows.

Unless you really LIKE wearing a strap-on.....
2006-02-01 02:53:08 PM  
2006-02-01 02:54:05 PM  
Why does he wear that hat ALL the time? I've never seen a picture of him without it. Is he disfigured like Bocephus?
2006-02-01 02:54:14 PM  
Who is kenny chesney... some loser redneck crap muscian???
/Got Milk??
/STFU Rednecks your opinion doesnt matter... :) I keeed
2006-02-01 02:54:50 PM  
coolbeans56 [TotalFark]

Renne fell out of the ugly tree, hit every branch down, and fell in the Ugly Hole.

...and got tangled in the ugly roots!

That's what i used to say!!!
2006-02-01 02:55:09 PM  
2006-02-01 02:59:36 PM  
2006-02-01 03:04:22 PM  
47? what happened to hot 23 year old flight attendents?

2006-02-01 03:04:25 PM  
Displayed 50 of 75 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.