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(WCCO)   Vampire candidate for Minnesota governor, "The Impaler," arrested on outstanding warrants   (wcco.com) divider line 103
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10787 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jan 2006 at 12:35 PM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



103 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2006-01-31 11:58:17 AM
Vlad?
 
2006-01-31 12:00:41 PM
What frightens me is that this will probably help his chances of being elected governer.

/silly Minnesotans
 
2006-01-31 12:03:21 PM
was it for banging his half-sister?

didn't RTFA.
 
2006-01-31 12:04:52 PM
Why did this take like... a month?
 
2006-01-31 12:05:40 PM
Aww, I didn't see THIS coming.
 
2006-01-31 12:08:37 PM
img.viacomlocalnetworks.com
'I'm so goth I shiat bats'
 
2006-01-31 12:10:05 PM
Anybody else think his face looks like O'Brien from TNG?
 
2006-01-31 12:12:05 PM
Got my vote

/Political Prisoner?
 
2006-01-31 12:16:55 PM
So he not only thinks he's a vampire, he's wanted on charges of stalking and... uh, WTF do they mean by "Escape"? He escaped from jail?
 
2006-01-31 12:22:18 PM
Dear 49 States,

Sorry.

Sincerely, bambi121899, resident
 
2006-01-31 12:26:43 PM
photos.e46fanatics.com
 
2006-01-31 12:27:13 PM
Another third-party candidate gets arrested. Badnarik and Cobb know the deal.
 
2006-01-31 12:39:28 PM
okayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...Me walks away now...
 
2006-01-31 12:39:34 PM
They're good warrants, but I wouldn't call them outstanding warrants.
 
2006-01-31 12:39:36 PM
Somehow, I don't think he thought his cunning plan all the way through.
 
2006-01-31 12:40:02 PM
Ones gotsta take care of them warrants before putting themselves in the public eye.
 
2006-01-31 12:40:05 PM
A candidate for governor whose platform includes public impalement of terrorists found himself behind bars Tuesday on a pair of outstanding arrest warrants.

What does it say about America when putting a vampire in jail means the terrorists have won?
 
2006-01-31 12:40:28 PM
Shiznit! Somebody beat me to this story! Gotta love our Minnesota politics.
 
2006-01-31 12:42:55 PM
Knowing our luck, he'll get elected and we'll go back to being the joke of the nation.

/minnesotan
//didn't vote for Ventura
///slashie
 
2006-01-31 12:42:58 PM
Wow, and he seemed like such a stable, responsible person.

Personally, I liked the impaling idea. It would have made for a wonderful addition to our tourism industry. Maybe some other candidate will pick it up and run with it.
 
2006-01-31 12:43:38 PM
Way to draw attention to yourself, Count.
 
2006-01-31 12:44:02 PM
Public impaling of terrorists, eh? All Jesse Ventura did was bodyslam one or two, in between commentating XFL games and sitting on his lardo butt.
 
2006-01-31 12:45:21 PM
If you are so goth, where were you when we sacked Rome?
 
2006-01-31 12:46:15 PM
He's a vampire. Cut him a break.
 
2006-01-31 12:46:36 PM
Publicity is publicity.

Just watch, this guy gets elected.

/Alice Cooper?

//Tired of the typical politicians, would vote for a dog if it ran

///Constitutional Monarchy for Alaska!
 
2006-01-31 12:46:59 PM
he favored impaling certain wrongdoers in front of the State Capitol.
`A chicken in every pot and stake for the wrongdoers. BWAAHAHAHAHA!!! * lightning flashes in background*
 
2006-01-31 12:49:19 PM
I'll be the charges don't stick. In fact, I'll stake my reputation on it.
 
2006-01-31 12:49:21 PM
Maybe he could be DeLay's running mate (or cell mate) in 2008?
 
2006-01-31 12:49:30 PM
bambi121899

May I ask what you do for Target? I used to freelance there, as well, is why I'm asking...
 
2006-01-31 12:49:40 PM
Weird, a vampire and an ex-gov who "ain't got time to bleed."
 
2006-01-31 12:49:51 PM
bambi

I'm a Morris grad, too. Class of 92. Go Cougars.
 
2006-01-31 12:49:56 PM
Midnight meetings at the governor's mansion take on a whole new meaning with this guy in power!


Here is the result for Leicester.

Arthur J. Smith...
(Sensible Party)
...30,612

Jethro Q. Bunn Whackett Buzzard Stubble and Boot Walrustitty...
(Silly Party)
...33,108

/Monty made this funny 30 years ago
 
2006-01-31 12:50:03 PM
since he's running for Gov., it sounds like this guy already knows how to take a bite outta crime

betcha his stance on the law is that he'd like to stick it to 'em

ironically, he'll probably will be getting poked in more ways than one now that he's hangin' around the PMITA prison. unless he turns himself into a bat to make another great-escape!

but if he stays in jail a while - he's sure to make many friends by saying "i von't to suck yer..." (probably won't be able to finish the sentence 'cause he's sure to have something already stuffed into it - if you know what i mean....
 
2006-01-31 12:50:39 PM
Dear 49 States,

Sorry.

Sincerely, bambi121899, resident


Why would you apologize? The fact that a vampire can run for governor and a mentally retarded guy can become president shows just how wonderful this country is--ANYONE has a chance.
 
2006-01-31 12:51:17 PM
What a geek.
 
2006-01-31 12:51:44 PM
carrion luggage
I'll be the charges don't stick. In fact, I'll stake my reputation on it.

*groans, throws rotten tomatoes at you*
 
2006-01-31 12:52:16 PM
Jonathon Sharkey, 41, of Princeton, Minn. was arrested Monday night on two felony counts from Indiana, said Mike Smith, the Mille Lacs County jail administrator. One warrant was for escape, another for stalking.

Gee, a vampire who can escape capture and stalks people...

No...

farking...

Duh!
 
2006-01-31 12:53:01 PM
Is this guy actually in the famed Minnesota-based metal band, Impaler?

If so, rock on metal dog, monster thrasher.

Here is their seminal proto-goth smash hit "10% Off: Save With the Devil."

www.myimagebuddy.com

/Favorite Impaler moment. When they tear apart Target store mannequins dripping with catsup.
 
2006-01-31 12:53:03 PM
Anyone check out his website? It's nice.

http://www.jonathonforgovernor.us/
 
2006-01-31 12:54:11 PM
So what's with Minnesota obsession over freaks? Do they have a shortage of circus tours or what?
 
2006-01-31 12:54:21 PM
broberds
Hilarious!
 
2006-01-31 12:54:52 PM
tonesskin
you are ABSOLUTLY RIGHT!

President Clinton and her husband were FARKIN' idiots!

/it is a wonderful country you troll!
/jk
 
2006-01-31 12:54:54 PM
This is obviously a conspiracy. The vampire revolution is at hand! The self-indulgent, whiny, overwrought quasi-macabre writing is on the wall!
 
2006-01-31 12:55:56 PM
It would be a good idea to stay out of public view if you have outstanding warrants......sadly..He had some good campaign ideas
 
2006-01-31 12:56:36 PM
broberds:

They're good warrants, but I wouldn't call them outstanding warrants.

I wwas going to say that.
 
2006-01-31 12:56:49 PM
I'll vote for him.

/resident
//thinks it's funny
 
2006-01-31 12:58:49 PM
What's the difference between an outstanding warrant and one that's just above average - and isn't it really a matter of personal preference?
 
2006-01-31 12:59:12 PM
Well this really puts the bit in his impaling plans..
 
2006-01-31 12:59:25 PM
A local radio station in Connecticut did an interview with him a few weeks ago. I expected him to sound, I dunno, a bit deranged, but he was rather well spoken and in some respects, made a lot of sense. I think the radioheads were a bit surprised by him, as well.
 
2006-01-31 12:59:34 PM
So does that mean he'll spend his time in jail getting impaled? And by "impaled", I mean "teh buttsecks".

/rimshot
//pity laugh, anyone?
///crickets
 
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