Nothing. His mouth is shut.

BUTTSECKS?

/Note no quotation marks, and his mouth is shut...

Not sure...But his lips aren't moving, so he must be telling a lie.

He's really thinking "pull my finger" though.

"You got coke ? No, not you, you there in the back. You got coke ?"

"Another whiskey. Straight up. I said straight *hic* up, dammit!"

Seventy-five, do I hear eighty, gimme eighty, eighty on seventy-five, seventy-five, CURRENT BID, seventy-five, eighty, hear eighty, eighty, eighty, SEVENTY-FIVE current bid, eighty, hear, eighty, hear, EIGHTY, EIGHTY, seventy-five going ONCE! Seventy-five going TWICE. Seventy-five, third and last CALL! SOLD for seventy-five thousand dollars, to the man in the trenchcoat and fedora.

"Does my finger smell like poop to you?"

"YOU!!!"

//obscure $cientology reference?

No caption. He's just doing the Macarena!

"Read my lips, no new wars!"

To Helen Thomas: "Zip it !"

/pretending to be a liberal to get votes

Now,

After the date, ima wanna do the wild thang!

(Elvis style) Thank you. Thank you very much.

buttsecks?

So I says, "Yeah? You want that money, come and get it, 'cause I dont know where it is, you baloney. You make me wanna retch!"

I could have you killed as part of my war time powers.

"Why do my fingers look like little people?"

/Obscure?

"How much is that doggie in the window?"

"what good is mining nose gold if I cant share it with the towns people"

I see this and all I can think of is the final shot of Donald Sutherland in "Invasion of the Body Snatchers."

Smell my finger.

Why can't I quit you?

I'm the F*cking president. I'm in the drivers seat. I call the goddamn shots around here.

"i'm sorry i spit up on you. but hey, my daddy did the same thing to that jap guy, so... here, let me whipe that off your chin... ooo... gonna do it again.. "

"God damn you Helen Thomas, why do you support the turrists by asking all of your high falutin' questions!?!?! Warrantless wiretaps on my enemies is hard work!"

"That's an excellent question, Tom. But first, I have to ask you to stop having phone sex with your wife she's traveling overseas, we're losing too many NSA agents because of it."

Did you see it there? Six. Six creases in mah forehead. Told you so.

"9-11 was planned under Clinton... what would you have done?"

"*hic* c'mon, you... ABC...*hic*....Bring that Honk Bag over here... I'll *hic* give it a whomp or two..."

I've listened to your phone calls... and your phone calls... and your phone calls... and your phone calls...

"You gonna finish that donut? I tried to sneak in a few krispy kremes but Cheney kept saying, 'look over there,' and well, I'd fall for it and the donuts were gone."

'You, stop throwing facts at me. Why do you hate my fantasy world?'

"Could it be... could it be... SATAN?!?!?"

And so, in my State of the -- my State of the Union -- or state -- my speech to the -- nation, whatever you wanna call it, speech to the nation -- I asked Americans to give 4,000 years -- 4,000 hours over the next -- of the rest of your life -- of service to America. That's what I asked. I said 2 -- 4,000 hours....uh...uh...Honk Bag!

"Young man, there's no need to feel down.
I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young man, 'cause you're in a new town
There's no need to be unhappy.

Young man, there's a place you can go.
I said, young man, when you're short on your dough.
You can stay there, and I'm sure you will find
Many ways to have a good time

It's fun to invade I-R-A-Q
It's fun to invade I-R-A-Q."

What's all this hub-hub about NSA spying and all? We're at war and during war-times the President, which is me, has all the power to do what he wants, when he wants and how he wants. At least thats what God told me.

Only through me can you achieve a power greater than any Jedi

"As soon as I sober up, we are invading Iran"

Dammit, officer, I'm the president. Who cares if I can't touch my finger to my nose? I'm just going to pardon myself anyway. heh heh heh.

nucular. . . it's pronounced nuuuucular.