FARK.com: (186485) Playboy redefines "natural causes."

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		Playboy redefines "natural causes." (thesmokinggun.com)		111
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19286 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 May 2002 at 5:07 PM | Favorite | share:

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Norad		2002-05-20 11:03:35 AM

This sucks. I remember her pictorial next to the pool table & the hot tub

Hot stuff, her. She will be missed

boojieboy		2002-05-20 11:51:40 AM

Read the autopsy report. Very sad indeed.

Reisende		2002-05-20 01:36:21 PM

Her death was about as natural as her tits

Reisende		2002-05-20 01:38:28 PM

Oops, I mean

Methodista		2002-05-20 03:38:16 PM

My favorite line from the autopsy report: "The torso was unremarkable."

The coroner obviously needs some time off.

Raijin Z		2002-05-20 05:10:43 PM

I like how they left out the part where the partially dismembered corpse rose from the table and ripped the coroner's throat out. Goddamn media.

fugginaright		2002-05-20 05:10:47 PM

I'd definately toss a "D" in that.

FishBulb		2002-05-20 05:11:11 PM

I just assumed one of her silicon fun bags popped and killed everyone in a 5 foot radius.... (this could be many many people)

Trouble		2002-05-20 05:11:19 PM

"Heroin, methamphetamine, Demerol, and Xanax"

All very natural.

Rudezombie		2002-05-20 05:12:25 PM

Raijin Z

haha, I dunno why, but that made me laugh hard enough to arouse suspicion from the other cubicles... hahaha

facisto		2002-05-20 05:12:42 PM

Oh yeah, drugs, you gotta have drugs.

The_Doctor		2002-05-20 05:13:11 PM

"... wearing an orange top and matching thong underpants. The underpants have been pulled down slightly on the left side and the back."

If it weren't for that whole "dead" thing, I'd be killing kittens right about now...

jph		2002-05-20 05:13:41 PM

Reisende:

She didn't have huge tits. I'm pretty sure they were real.

Baron		2002-05-20 05:14:26 PM

90 pounds!

ctenidae		2002-05-20 05:14:59 PM

fugginaright		2002-05-20 05:15:27 PM

Damn, that whole part about the Orange thong and stuff, makes me wanna go "punch the clown".

Zombie Zero		2002-05-20 05:15:34 PM

Natural causes.

She was a junkie. Naturally, she died.

Lividity		2002-05-20 05:15:40 PM

I think death was a rather natural reaction in that case, hence natural causes.

Damn logic.

ctenidae		2002-05-20 05:16:08 PM

NSFW (mostly)

ionozacuzo		2002-05-20 05:16:53 PM

Methodista: "The torso was unremarkable." only means that there was no abnormal characteristics on her torso.

Zombie Zero		2002-05-20 05:17:01 PM

BTW, at 90 lbs, (even if she was only 5 ft. tall) she probably wasn't that hot anymore. Especially after dancing with Lady H.

Thermos		2002-05-20 05:17:08 PM

john belushi died of natural causes
so did john bonham

scatpack		2002-05-20 05:17:11 PM

She died because she was the only 'modest' chested playmate ever.

But what a booty on her! Raarr raar Neener Neener. Hoot hoot!

Bone_Daddy		2002-05-20 05:17:23 PM

Did anyone see SNL this week? The search for Miss July was wonderfully disturbing. Best skit SNL has had in YEARS. I can only assume Lorne has ceded a bit more creative control to Tina Fey. At least I hope so.

CaptainC		2002-05-20 05:18:13 PM

Damn...what a waste of some hot poonhanny. I, for one, don't use drugs...but I think they should just legalize them and let the losers kill themselves. Pretty girl...but a little selective culling never hurt the gene pool.

ISeeYourDisease		2002-05-20 05:18:38 PM

Her last meal "consisted of pizza, pepperoni and sausage, and sperm".

SLAYERSWINE		2002-05-20 05:18:46 PM

Notice how there was NO MENTION OF MARIJUANA in her system.
See kiddies, stick to bongs. ALL OTHER DRUGS SUCK !

CaptainC		2002-05-20 05:19:40 PM

Bone_Daddy: I'm picturing Tina in a black leather number with a whip...exercising "creative control"....

Zombie Zero		2002-05-20 05:19:41 PM

Scatpack,

I'd have to disagree with you. There have been plenty of "modest chested" Playmates. One great example being Miss April '95, Danelle Folta.

scatpack		2002-05-20 05:20:53 PM

Do I make you horny?

alyandon		2002-05-20 05:21:55 PM

What the hell is the point in mixing heroin with methamphetamines?

jph		2002-05-20 05:22:33 PM

Tina Fey is hot. She's like Ashleigh Banfield, except without the newswhore mentality.

PhaetonGrim		2002-05-20 05:22:44 PM

These drugs are, at least in part, naturally occurring, so natural causes might technically be correct....

Trouble		2002-05-20 05:22:51 PM

Slayerswine:
They don't screen for MJ in toxicity tests for autopsies. Why would they, its not like you could die from it. :-)

Grey Fox		2002-05-20 05:22:53 PM

Scatpack

Jeez, her back was hairier than I remember.

jayhawk88		2002-05-20 05:22:56 PM

Damn, what the hell was Playboy supposed to say? "She died February 7 from an overdose of heroin, because she was a drugged out trixie ho"? There is such a thing as showing respect for the dead, you know.

AndrewFish		2002-05-20 05:23:21 PM

4+ rigor mortis and purple lividity? I feel bad for anyone turned on by that.

namtog		2002-05-20 05:24:02 PM

Hmmm.

scatpack		2002-05-20 05:24:06 PM

Danielle Folta is "Chesty West" compared to Elisa Bridges....

...why do I know this. Face getting warmer.

Must go drown myself in Xanax now.

Trouble		2002-05-20 05:24:16 PM

Alyandon:
Its called suicide by overdose.

skinink		2002-05-20 05:24:56 PM

So , does this mean all Playmates don't live Happily Ever After ? Lesse.....
Pam Anderson...caught a bad case of Hep C and Kid Rock at the same time .......

Anna Nicole Smith.... so fat you'd think she'd do nude jumping jacks in a roomful of schoolgirls .....

ok, nevermind.

Gator8387		2002-05-20 05:25:16 PM

Sure, women who pose nude are just like the girl next door ... NOT!!!!

namtog		2002-05-20 05:25:58 PM

Some day I will figure out the post policy here. In the mean time, copy and paste. http://www.jwiemers.de/girls.html

jerguar		2002-05-20 05:26:01 PM

probably got so jacked on the crank, that she had to come down a little by throwin some 'H' and Xanax in the mix...oops...miscalculation

jph		2002-05-20 05:26:25 PM

Scatpack:

It's Danelle. Same for me--don't ask me why I know.

areaman		2002-05-20 05:27:25 PM

"The rectum contains firm, brown stool."

Try, just TRY to kill kitties after reading that!

Serial		2002-05-20 05:28:03 PM

She was quite natural, except for the drugs that is.

Not at all safe for work

Your Boss		2002-05-20 05:28:08 PM

Yeah, she gave me Rigor Mortis once.....

Staged_Reaction_Shot		2002-05-20 05:28:19 PM

Heroin AND Demerol? And meth. And Xanax?

Gone in sixty seconds. Any doper knows this, it was probably suicide.

"The decedent travelled often between Los Angeles, Miami and Hawaii as a professional model and actress." = Long distance outcall.