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(Pharyngula)   Three Christian ministers sneak into Senate hearing room, anoint chairs to be used for Samuel Alito's confirmation hearing next week. Says Rev.: "God is interested in what goes on in Alito's confirmation process."   ( pharyngula.org) divider line
    More: Stupid  
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5442 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jan 2006 at 1:59 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



169 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2006-01-07 12:13:48 PM  
Won't they get sticky?

:D
 
2006-01-07 12:26:16 PM  
"they're likely to have trouble when the oil hits the anus"
 
2006-01-07 12:28:14 PM  
From the comments: "the All-Powerful, Omnipotent Master of the Cosmos really, really wants Sam Alito on the Supreme Court, but he's not going to allow it unless there's a dab of grease in the right spot.

It's useful information to have. God is powerless against soap."

HI-larious!
 
2006-01-07 12:35:36 PM  
In today's day and age of security it's possible to sneak around the Senate?
 
2006-01-07 12:44:03 PM  
God is a (insert favorite sports team here) fan as well.
 
2006-01-07 12:48:08 PM  
it should be okay, until the oil hits the anus...

proof that god is a farker
 
2006-01-07 12:48:50 PM  
oops
 
2006-01-07 12:54:44 PM  
so who's coming with me to sneak in and cover the chairs in marinara sauce? and we'd better dabble on a cheese-based sauce just to be ultra safe.
 
2006-01-07 12:56:37 PM  
God's probably the only one who can catch all the sneakiness going on.
Well, Him and some well placed mics.
 
2006-01-07 01:01:32 PM  
"God is interested in what goes on in Alito's confirmation process."

How do they know? A bit presumptuous, I'd say.

Maybe God has plans to play golf of build a new universe that day.
 
2006-01-07 01:08:49 PM  
Oh man, this is going to go into Fundementalist history alongside the stirring speech attributed to the student at Columbine and the waffle fry that looks like Jesus.
 
2006-01-07 01:11:56 PM  
I used to have a dog like that.

Had no idea he was so spiritual.

RiP, Trover.
 
2006-01-07 01:15:11 PM  
You know, if they had wiretaps on the phones of the ministers, security might have been able to prevent this.
 
2006-01-07 01:16:25 PM  
What they don't understand is that God hates the bastard, and thus by anointing the seats they have ensured his downfall.
 
2006-01-07 01:17:52 PM  
ch4r7ie: it should be okay, until the oil hits the anus...

proof that god is a farker


at least I'm not the only one to think of it
 
2006-01-07 01:22:09 PM  
Y'know, Democrats do this, too.

/obligatory
 
2006-01-07 01:39:23 PM  
smackem yackem: Y'know, Democrats do this, too.


Yeah, sure... its the Democrats that are associated with the religious fundimentalist.

Filet-O-Jesus-Fish: In today's day and age of security it's possible to sneak around the Senate?

Very interesting point.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2006-01-07 01:42:56 PM  
God is so busy watching every sparrow fall that He won't have time to attend the hearing.

In other news, those Dutch domino-topplers are going to hell.
 
2006-01-07 01:43:16 PM  
Everyone's Collective Imaginary Friend:
Yeah, sure... its the Democrats that are associated with the religious fundimentalist.

Try re-reading my post with a touch of satire.
 
2006-01-07 01:43:46 PM  
So, in other words:

A radical cleric associated with a known terrorist organization* that has engaged in acts of violence against Americans invaded the Capitol building and disseminated a foreign substance in a Senate committee chamber.

But Jeebus makes everything alright, eh?

*Schenck is the co-founder of Operation Rescue.
 
2006-01-07 01:46:04 PM  
JWMthree


oil in a room full of polititians, the oil is one with the anus...
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2006-01-07 01:55:13 PM  
Y'know, Democrats do this, too.

But it wasn't oil that Barney Frank was annointing the buildings with.
 
2006-01-07 01:56:24 PM  
smackem yackem: Try re-reading my post with a touch of satire.

Try harder next time. You just sound like a bush-bot. You've really got to go over the top to differentiate yourself from that lunacy.
 
2006-01-07 02:08:27 PM  
Nice to know our leaders are swayed by rampant superstition.

So much for living in a "modern" age where we've put such things behind us.
 
2006-01-07 02:10:04 PM  
"God is interested in what goes on in Alito's confirmation process."

Particularly in relation to Alito's ass, it seems.
 
2006-01-07 02:10:17 PM  
http://www.guardian.co.uk/international/story/0,3604,869273,00.html#a​r​ticle_co ntinue

Jesus 'healed using cannabis'

Duncan Campbell in Los Angeles

Guardian
Jesus was almost certainly a cannabis user and an early proponent of the medicinal properties of the drug, according to a study of scriptural texts published this month. The study suggests that Jesus and his disciples used the drug to carry out miraculous healings.

The anointing oil used by Jesus and his disciples contained an ingredient called kaneh-bosem which has since been identified as cannabis extract, according to an article by Chris Bennett in the drugs magazine, High Times, entitled Was Jesus a Stoner? The incense used by Jesus in ceremonies also contained a cannabis extract, suggests Mr Bennett, who quotes scholars to back his claims.

"There can be little doubt about a role for cannabis in Judaic religion,"
Carl Ruck, professor of classical mythology at Boston University said.

Referring to the existence of cannabis in anointing oils used in ceremonies, he added: "Obviously the easy availability and long-established tradition of cannabis in early Judaism _ would inevitably have included it in the [Christian] mixtures."

Mr Bennett suggests those anointed with the oils used by Jesus were "literally drenched in this potent mixture _ Although most modern people choose to smoke or eat pot, when its active ingredients are transferred into an oil-based carrier, it can also be absorbed through the skin".

Quoting the New Testament, Mr Bennett argues that Jesus anointed his disciples with the oil and encouraged them to do the same with other followers. This could have been responsible for healing eye and skin diseases referred to in the Gospels.

"If cannabis was one of the main ingredients of the ancient anointing oil _ and receiving this oil is what made Jesus the Christ and his followers Christians, then persecuting those who use cannabis could be considered anti-Christ," Mr Bennett concludes.
 
2006-01-07 02:10:44 PM  
Confirmation processes always go smoother with lube.

/feels so dirty
 
2006-01-07 02:10:57 PM  
How weird. If Jesus freaks would take a step back and view actions like this objectively, they might see how creepy and medieval they seem. I mean, come on, this is the 21st century; we've been using the scientific method, along with logic and reason to solve problems and better society for nearly 400 years now, and these kooks are still running around preaching myths and ghost stories.

Also, subsitute "Three muslim imams" for "three christian ministers" and you'd probably get the same result among the Fundamentalists: "Ha Ha, silly muslims, believing allah will grant their wishes. Don't they know only our one true christian god can do that? Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk."
 
2006-01-07 02:16:50 PM  
So if he bursts into flames when he sits down...
 
2006-01-07 02:18:03 PM  
huh wtf? just pick however to be judge, next prez will pick at least 2. and the next prez 2 or 3 more.
 
2006-01-07 02:18:30 PM  
Filet-O-Jesus-Fish:
In today's day and age of security it's possible to sneak around the Senate?

Old white christian guys probably don't arouse all that much suspicion in the Senate. I can't imagine that they had too much trouble blending in.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2006-01-07 02:18:32 PM  
So if he bursts into flames when he sits down...

Then he's a witch, and Hillary will vote for him.
 
2006-01-07 02:19:26 PM  
2006-01-07 12:56:37 PM Heroic Poser [TotalFark]
God's probably the only one who can catch all the sneakiness going on. Well, Him and some well placed mics.


Oh, I thought you said "mice". What with the cheese sauce...

Never mind.
 
2006-01-07 02:20:50 PM  
The whole point of a cult is that the culties can't take a step back see the reality no matter what they do. Their mind is under control. Even if all their cult leaders were killed and they were removed to a distant location, they probably still could not be deprogrammed. The human brain is simply a mechanical device subject to manipulation.
 
2006-01-07 02:21:12 PM  
Sometimes, it's really embarassing to be a person with spiritual beliefs. The baby Jeebus hangs his head and weeps when he sees morans like this in action.
 
2006-01-07 02:22:22 PM  
they were probably planting some type of microphone


ALERT !!! ALERT

The only thing holding the republican party in power is the partnership formed with an extreme fundamentalist conspiracy that got a clever idea: hey, lets make a lot of noise against the people who don't agree with us, and by us i mean jesus, and by jesus, i mean only the semantic parts of jesus we think are important, not the parts originally stressed...that would be too much like communism.

so with a grass roots conspiracy to stack the court, fruition is only a decade or two away....
 
2006-01-07 02:23:04 PM  
Hmm I would have laughed even harder, hopefully still will, when three muslim imams, 3 jewish rabbi, and 3 native american shaman go in to provide counters for the fundamentalist christian influence.

It's only fair right ;p

Finally, as to the security, well they obviously were white and thus (as I am) not a threat. (Link farked so I can't tell)
 
2006-01-07 02:23:34 PM  
ZAZ: Then he's a witch, and Hillary will vote for him.

lolz hilary is teh evil!!11one
 
2006-01-07 02:23:43 PM  
Can you imagine three Muslim terrorists... uh, I mean Imams --you know those prayer leader guys from the middle east--... annointing anything in the capitol like that? Helll, Homeland Security, the ATF, the FBI, CIA, and the NSA would be called to bow down on the carpet.

//In fact I think we have a class action law suit here.
//Muslims, Pastafarians, Jews, and Hindus demand right to
//sneak in and do the same.
 
2006-01-07 02:28:19 PM  
I'm surprised anything in either house of Congress, when annointed or blessed, doesn't immediately burst into flames.
 
2006-01-07 02:30:23 PM  
inglixthemad: Hmm I would have laughed even harder, hopefully still will, when three muslim imams, 3 jewish rabbi, and 3 native american shaman go in to provide counters for the fundamentalist christian influence.

That sounds like a sketch for a funnier version of SNL.
 
2006-01-07 02:32:47 PM  
Hmmm, which oil should I use? I knew I shouldn't have used up all that Sexual Magnetism oil last weekend. . .

www.wise-mens-web.com
 
2006-01-07 02:32:59 PM  
The sad thing is the guy who brought the Republicans towards the Religious Right and having to appease them is none other than Pat Robertson. It makes me wonder if we can't just kick them all out the country like what happened with those evil sicko puritans people. It would make life so much easier.
 
2006-01-07 02:35:28 PM  
Supernatural magic tricks, ehh?
 
2006-01-07 02:35:37 PM  
I have only prayed once to the Lord, and I asked Him to have God make my enemies look and act ridiculous....and it was done.

Clergy "break into" government offices...God will smite them.
 
2006-01-07 02:37:47 PM  
"Why am I qualified to be on the Supreme Court? My Internet name is 'Analito69,' that's why!!!"
 
2006-01-07 02:38:58 PM  
That's nothing. Senator Brownback of Kansas and 5 other members of Congress live in a million-dollar Capitol Hill townhouse that is subsidized by a secretive religious organization. The townhouse is listed as a church with the IRS. The Congressmen also wash each others feet, although that part isn't listed in this article. Maybe someone else can find a link to that part. Anyway it's all very strange.

More info here
 
2006-01-07 02:39:11 PM  
Someone let these arsetards in the Senate. That someone should be fired.
 
2006-01-07 02:42:29 PM  
You know, I often say that Islam is going to have to decide whether it wants to destroy itself or learn to live in the modern world. Reading about such Christian asshattery makes me realize that needs to be rephrased from Islam to Abrahamic religion in general.
 
2006-01-07 02:43:21 PM  
lazymojo

Good point. On the other hand most of us don't bat an eye when a sports player refuses to shave, change his socks or eat a different pre-game meal in the midst of a streak.

There is someting about the human mind that seems to be inherently superstitious on some level. If it is harmless why not live and let live?
 
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