How does one get sewing needles inside their skull?

Dumbassputin.

In the meantime, he said, the smile returning to his face, the station has already given him $60, a T-shirt and a beer mug.

That would put a smile on my face also.

Rasputin unavailable for comment

"I'm like a cat with nine lives," he says cheerfully

It's just unfortunate that the cat in question is Sylvester.

Somewhere, 65 years ago, there existed a poor, widowed, hopeless Russian mother, who, despite jabbing three sewing needles into his head, trying to gas him to death, and binally burying him under a gloating logjam, couldn't figure out why the little farker wouldn't die.

I'd bet Grandma ended up with a sewing needle or two in her head as well once the daughter figured out Grandma was playing Superman.

binally? gloating?

whatever.

2006-01-05 04:17:28 PM DeanMoriarty

binally? gloating?

I liked it. Very Lewis Carrol.

I can't wait to see if he wins the big TV! Why, I'm on pins and needles ...

More like a cat with 5 lives, tops.

"Gloating logjam" - now there's a concept that doesn't leap easily to the imagination.

I'm gonna (c) that phrase.

"Gloating Logjam."

Drowing?



/got nuthin

"I'm like a cat with nine lives," he says cheerfully

And then wet himself uncontrollably.

Yeah, but will they preserve his wang when he dies? That's the ultimate honor. I guess.

NSFW

wow! what a lucky guy....

From the article: "In the meantime, he said, the smile returning to his face, the station has already given him $60, a T-shirt and a beer mug."

At least he got a beer mug.
/I want a beer mug
//I want a beer
///almost quitting time

Wow. That story went from amusing to sad in one paragraph.

Russia suffered the worst of the Second World War. Some young mothers, faced with the burden of unwanted children, resorted to killing their babies with needles slipped into the soft tissues of their unformed skulls.

What must that do to any happy memories of childhood, to realize that your mother tried to kill you as an infant? And that she killed your two older siblings?

Maybe getting the needles in his brain was the prerequisite occurence for the rest of that stuff.

"Extended warranty! How can I lose?!"

I kind of envisioned all those things happening to him in a short period of time, like over a weekend or something. I'm sure lots of people had close calls in their paths to adulthood. I've done crap that, in retrospect, I wonder how I survived at all. I think we all have.

Damn, I wasn't even the second guy to think of Rasputin.

/best...death...ever

Wow. That story went from amusing to sad in one paragraph.

Yeah, that caught me off guard.

"This should be funny....oh....oh damn."

I arrive in this thread for one reason. To biatch about how the Rasputin reference was made before me. Goddamnit. So, new reference.

Actually that is quite sad that mother's resorted to doing that. I could not imagine.

ugh.....i need to preview.....


*mothers.

Mister Peejay

Not at all obscure.
All of the diseases are in perfect balance, in what we like to call 'Three Stooges Syndrome'.

"...she finally got a steady job as a janitor in a kindergarten at a small town south of Ufa,..."
/that town is one letter away from a painful insertion

Doctor goes "Well that's a hell of an act, what do you call it?"

- The Aristocrats!

That's really farked up right there, to first of all find out that there's a foreign, pointy object in your head, and then realize at the age of 60-something that your mother was trying to kill you when you were a baby.

What I want to know is, why did she stop at 3 needles, when she saw it didn't work? Presumably it worked with the other kids. Why not try four or five? Did she feel remorse when the needles didn't work, and then took it as a sign that she shouldn't try to kill him? I wonder how long after that she tried to kill him, or if she wanted to keep him after that.

I don't know, but looking at it from her perspective, I'm kind of glad she was dead by the time he found out. Talk about an awkward conversation.

Toonol: Wow. That story went from amusing to sad in one paragraph.

But then it went back to awesome in the last paragraph!

That looks like your beanpole, safeinsane...

Roscoe_P_Coletrain

Congratulations.

Mister Peejay

Wacth it chowder head! whooopp whooop whoop whooop!

whenIsayGO: Maybe she ran out of needles?

"Too many needles in this thread". Very good, MOONBAT.

I'm gonna go get an x-ray then probably hug my mother

Oliver K: Yes to the Boney M.

Ra Ra Rasputin-- Russia's greatest love machine
It was a shame how he carried on

This thread has too many needles and not enough cowbell.