Whats your name? Lan?
Lanolin? Like sheeps wool?

Slick headline, submitter.

Aloe-ve the way you punned the "smooth" part.

something something in the basket

I guess this is a naive question, but why not just pay for the lotion and body spray, or if he can't afford it, buy a smaller amount of it? $60 worth of lotion and body spray probably lasts for years.

See you later, alligator.

fap fap fap

It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.

smoove

Can't find that particular pic, but she looks like she could use some lotion here...



/hehe

OH I GET IT. LOTION. SMOOTH. BAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

PUT THE LOTION IN THE FARKING BASKET!!!

IT PUTS THE LOTION IN THE BASKET.

/But seriously, dollar-store body spray? You'll be able to smell the thieves coming from a block away.

It's pretty sad when someone robs a dollar store.

"No man! I said it has to have LANOLIN in it!" - Avery Brooks in "The Big Hit"

dwimmerlaik

Great movie. "You gotta keep straight jackin' till you see that mad cream!"

Thanatos: It's pretty sad when someone robs a dollar store.

I think what's more sad is the guy who had to spend part of his work day making the map graphic depicting the scene of the crime.

Did he use Al Lowe Vera?

This thread needs some Greenskeepers:

Lotion:

I'm looking down the hole
You're looking up at me
You're cold and tired
that is easy to see
Lower the rope to you
a bucket and a light
Your membrane will be soft and smooth
and your heart will be mine.

It rubs the lotion on its skin
Or else it gets the hose again
It rubs the lotion on its skin
Or else it gets the hose again
Yes Precious, it gets the hose . . .

Wooooooo, oooh, oooh.
Wooooooo, oooh, oooh.

The look inside your eyes drives me from control
Evoking visions of my favorite casserole.
And if I eat your heart
I'll also bite your soul
And when I'm done with that
I'll use your skull as a bowl.

It rubs the lotion on its skin.
Or else it gets the hose again.
It rubs the lotion on its skin.
Or else it gets the hose again.
It gets the hose.
It puts the lotion in the basket.
It puts the lotion in the basket.
It puts the lotion in the basket.
Yes it does . . .
Put the lotion in the basket
Put the lotion in the basket . . .
Put the lotion in the basket . . .
. . . and it does.

Wooooooo, oooh, oooh.
Wooooooo, oooh, oooh.

The night is very cold
I'm feeling kind of weak.
I think I'll make myself a cap from your right buttock's cheek.
And then I will go walking with my little dog.
And then I'll bury you underneath the lawn.

It rubs the lotion on its skin.
Or else it gets the hose again.
It rubs the lotion on its skin.
Or else it gets the hose again.
Yes it does Precious..
It puts the lotion in the basket.
biatch, put the lotion in the basket.
Ohh, put the lotion in the farking basket
biatch, put the lotion in the basket.


Wooooooo, oooh, oooh.
Wooooooo, oooh, oooh.

/I love that song

Since we're posting Ann Coulter pics...

ayavner: Can't find that particular pic, but she looks like she could use some lotion here...



sorry...the lack of a border was bugging me...

Damnit. We said no song-quoting.
Man it sucks when some suck posts the sucky lyrics of some sucky a55 band that he/she mistakenly thinks does not suck.

What makes it suck worse is when said sucky band rips off lyrics from a movie that doesn't suck but uses then make sucky lyrics out of the non-sucky movie dialog.

Damn that sucks.

NuttierThanEver: Someone please post the Time Magazine cover of Ann Coulter with the lotion on it's skin caption.

tresser: thanks for the border!

/I think I have a clue!
//damned kids these days!

Dollar Store = each ithem for $1
$60 worth of lotion makes for a lot of lotion
I've got to wonder how the guy managed to run with all of that lotion in his pockets.

dwimmerlaik: "No man! I said it has to have LANOLIN in it!" - Avery Brooks in "The Big Hit"

You mean BOKEEM WOODBINE in "The Big Hit".

Thief mumbled something about "aloe vera bullsh*t".

The kid in that lotion picture has some amusing crotch bulge goin' on.

And submitter, way to go using the submitting the article as it's name on the website. Very creative.

The Big Hit: check

Coulter Time cover: check

Silence of the Lambs: check

Pics of Eric Clapton: missing

Pics of Michael Jackson with "Smooth Criminal" punchline: missing

It rubs the lotion on its skin...

Cartman: [strokes the lamb and sets it aside] Hello, Precious. Yes, that's a good Precious. [grabs a basket with a bottle of lotion sitting inside and lowers it down a hole in the basement. The basket stops when it reaches Polly Prissy Pants, which sits at the bottom of the hole] Now it takes the lotion from the basket.
Polly Prissy Pants: [Cartman voicing] Oh please, mister. Please let me out of here.
Cartman: It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
Poodle: [Cartman voicing] Bark bark bark bark!
Cartman: Yes, that's a good Precious. Okay, now it puts the lotion back in the basket.
Polly Prissy Pants: Please, mister, let me out.
Cartman: It puts the lotion back in the basket!
Polly Prissy Pants: I miss my Mom, mister. I wanna see my Mommy-
Cartman: Put the lotion in the farkin' basket!
Kyle: What the hell are you doing?
Cartman: Were playing lambs

This is genius, pure genius, and exactly why I Fark!!
2006-01-04 02:05:53 PM BeowulfSmith


This thread needs some Greenskeepers:

Lotion:

I'm looking down the hole
You're looking up at me
You're cold and tired
that is easy to see
Lower the rope to you
a bucket and a light
Your membrane will be soft and smooth
and your heart will be mine.

It rubs the lotion on its skin
Or else it gets the hose again
It rubs the lotion on its skin
Or else it gets the hose again
Yes Precious, it gets the hose . . .

Wooooooo, oooh, oooh.
Wooooooo, oooh, oooh.

The look inside your eyes drives me from control
Evoking visions of my favorite casserole.
And if I eat your heart
I'll also bite your soul
And when I'm done with that
I'll use your skull as a bowl.

It rubs the lotion on its skin.
Or else it gets the hose again.
It rubs the lotion on its skin.
Or else it gets the hose again.
It gets the hose.
It puts the lotion in the basket.
It puts the lotion in the basket.
It puts the lotion in the basket.
Yes it does . . .
Put the lotion in the basket
Put the lotion in the basket . . .
Put the lotion in the basket . . .
. . . and it does.

Wooooooo, oooh, oooh.
Wooooooo, oooh, oooh.

The night is very cold
I'm feeling kind of weak.
I think I'll make myself a cap from your right buttock's cheek.
And then I will go walking with my little dog.
And then I'll bury you underneath the lawn.

It rubs the lotion on its skin.
Or else it gets the hose again.
It rubs the lotion on its skin.
Or else it gets the hose again.
Yes it does Precious..
It puts the lotion in the basket.
biatch, put the lotion in the basket.
Ohh, put the lotion in the farking basket
biatch, put the lotion in the basket.


Wooooooo, oooh, oooh.
Wooooooo, oooh, oooh.

/I love that song