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(Detroit News)   Library gets fed up with parents who think the place is a day-care center for their unruly, loud-ass brats; decides to lay down the law with steel fist   (detnews.com) divider line 139
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32728 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jan 2006 at 2:35 AM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2006-01-02 10:41:56 PM
Best tag of 2006.

Get outta my periodicals, whippersnapper!
 
2006-01-02 11:07:48 PM
Yeah baby!

/works in a bookstore
//we are not freaking babysitters!
 
2006-01-02 11:09:58 PM
I was born in Southfield. :P

Now watch all the soccer moms have a fit.
 
2006-01-02 11:24:13 PM
We have found that oftentimes children ages 11 to 15 -- those who are unable to drive -- are being dropped off for many, many hours...

11-15 year-olds hanging around the library!?! Shouldn't they be out shoplifting, drinking and smoking dope, and generally contributing to the decline of Western Civilization?

Kids these days...
 
2006-01-02 11:35:06 PM
Meh, good deal, keep the little buggers in line. When some child rapist/murderer comes around and steals little Billy the parents are going to try and blame everyone except themselves. Parents need to keep track of their kids and not drop them off to be someone elses problem..
 
2006-01-03 12:12:32 AM
They should hang a cane on the wall with a sign above it that reads:

For our own personal amusment, we dare you to be disruptive.
 
2006-01-03 12:31:30 AM
web.syr.edu
 
2006-01-03 02:20:05 AM
...gathering socially in a disruptive manner...

'socially disruptive manner'? Um, Ok - how DOES one be socially disruptive?
 
2006-01-03 02:27:56 AM
img.fark.com

/library assistant
//it's not a farking daycare centre
///shhhhhhh
 
2006-01-03 02:39:45 AM
COOOOOOOOONNNAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!
By Krom, we need your librarian prowess!
 
2006-01-03 02:41:19 AM
Just setup the Michael Jackson Literary Wing. Problem solved when parents see that going up.
 
2006-01-03 02:42:54 AM
Don't they have a mall around there?
 
2006-01-03 02:44:12 AM
doglover

COOOOOOOOONNNAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!
By Krom, we need your librarian prowess!




I see somebody was watching HBO Family earlier.
 
2006-01-03 02:46:38 AM
thisispete: //it's not a farking daycare centre

Damn straight, and I heartily concur re: HERO tag. I'm an almost-librarian that got sucked into web development, and unfortunately there are many parents who need to learn this lesson.
 
2006-01-03 02:48:43 AM
This is also a problem at my local bookstore. To say nothing of students who use the books to study, then leave them strewn all over the place when they leave. Oh, and if they're there long enough, sometimes they'll get tired and take a nap, using cushions (from chairs meant for actual patrons) to fashion mattresses on the floor. These, they also leave in a pile when they go. There's nothing more irritating when you're trying to find a WWII book your father hasn't read. Am I the only one that bought books on the USS Indianapolis and the Bataan Death March as gifts?

\refuses to buy a book on the Rape of Nanking for Christmas
\\saving that for Father's Day!
 
2006-01-03 02:52:02 AM
There are libraries in Detroit?
 
2006-01-03 02:53:02 AM
no theyre are not
 
2006-01-03 02:56:52 AM
If clerks at the gas station are allowed to keep firearms, I see no reason that librarians cannot. There may be a few "accidental" shootings, but, in the end, the little buggers will know they can't hang out there.
 
2006-01-03 02:57:16 AM
I'm from West Bloomfield, and head to the library in the article to do research and is too nice to have young kiddies running around. And it's true that parents just dump their kids off who have no intention of doing any work or reading anything at the library. They cluster in little groups and act like typical 12 year olds which is appropriate for a school cafeteria or a mall, but not for a library.
 
2006-01-03 02:59:49 AM
Sounds like the library folks are being very rational and fair with this. In this day and age I would have expected a headline along the lines of barring ALL minors from using the library.

/Spent lots of my youth in the library
//Reading
 
2006-01-03 03:05:36 AM
No hero tag? Feh! FEH, I SAY!!
 
2006-01-03 03:31:38 AM
Leviathanial Sounds like the library folks are being very rational and fair with this. In this day and age I would have expected a headline along the lines of barring ALL minors from using the library.

Seconded. It was used as justification for other sweeping rules.
 
2006-01-03 03:37:23 AM
I once ran an RPG game out of a Library, freaking awesome, I could yell up a storm in one of those meeting rooms they had and not even the guys in the next room to us could hear us.

\privacy rooms kick ass
\\silence is golden
\\\just remember to book it in advance
 
2006-01-03 03:39:20 AM
Was it an actual fist made of steel? Cuz that would be awesome.
 
2006-01-03 03:41:16 AM
Freak: There are libraries in Detroit?

RTFA

Mcaffolder: no theyre are not

You need to visit one.
 
2006-01-03 03:46:30 AM
> After warnings have been issued, students
> can have their library privileges suspended
> or be evicted.

Quite the steel fist indeed. I think Stalin used similar methods.
 
2006-01-03 03:59:05 AM
Can I have a job at this library? I work at a university library, and I'm sick and tired of charter school students who come to "study" because it's "better" than the public library, then hang out in the information commons yakking on the phone and IM'ing their friends with our PCs (yes, simultaneously). Then the little shiates refuse to relinquish the PC when college students ask them to, thus forcing me to kick their little heinies out. I don't mind -- actually, I sort of enjoy it -- but it takes me away from people I could be helping with research/reference questions.

And then there's the grad students with kids who want me to "keep an eye" on their precious little 5-year-old ("I'll just put him on a PC in front of the reference desk so you can see him; he won't cause any trouble") while they go to the fourth or fifth floor to look for materials. My, but they go ballistic when I tell them that if they walk away from their kid, I'll call the cops and report an abandoned child. And I will, and I have.

All of the above is why I'm seriously thinking about leaving libraryland when my contract expires. Don't know what I'd do for a living, but I really don't give a shiat anymore.
 
2006-01-03 04:01:18 AM
Weaver95

'socially disruptive manner'? Um, Ok - how DOES one be socially disruptive?

Soccer hooligans
gangs
Paris Hilton

I rest my case.
 
2006-01-03 04:04:35 AM
CockMeat, don't knock it till you've tried it.
(a new pick-up line?)
Stalin used the same system, only he revoked breathing privlages instead. Much more effective against the illiterate.
 
2006-01-03 04:32:03 AM
la_cyberchicana

This is backlash from the Boomer generation. You know, "Don't tell me I can't express myself maaannnn"

Then they cracked skulls on those of us that went to school in the 80's by demanding that we get into the best university and told us to "just say no" to drugs.

Now they're spoiling the living shiat out of their grandchildren.

What a surprise from the ME generation.
 
2006-01-03 04:47:18 AM
Ok, so let me get this straight. A bunch of farking LIBARRIANS are going to tell ME how to raise MY children?

Libarrians...a bunch of old childless spinsters...are going to tell ME that I'M a bad parent?

Well, excuse the FARK out of me, you hippie biddies. I don't have TIME to sit around reading Harlequin Romance novels all day. I have shiat to do. I have a job to go to. I have a social life to attend to.

At least if I drop my kids off at the libarry, I know they won't be corrupted by all that trash on television, like South Park, Friends, The Daily Show, or those G-D Ninja Fighting Turtles.

The libarry is a much better, more wholesome place for them. I know this because me and my church group have been working tirelessly to have the trashy books banned and/or burned from our local libarry. Smut like Harry Potter, and Maya Angelou, and Judy Blume, and Darwin has no place there, despite what those LIEberal LIEbarrians say.

So excuse me if I want to go to bingo, or Bennigan's, and leave my children someplace where they won't be exposed to evil.

How dare they tell me I'M doing a bad job. Fark them and their barren, probably lesbian policies.

/3...2...1...
 
2006-01-03 04:52:38 AM
Jeebus. I lived in the library when I was 11-15, but I grew up with the "Libraries are teh quiet" drilled into my head. Then again, when I was in the library, I was generally reading books, or looking for books, or sometimes playing on the computers. Or, well, okay, what they called computers wouldn't count as calculators now, but they were very neat with their monochrome displays in bright orange or green and all that.

But, again, blame the soccer moms from hell. Teach your farking kidlets, okay? The rest of the world is not responsible for policing their behavior, you lazy bastards. The world is not your baby-sitter. And I hope to hell that these kids learn how to look up porn on the library computers -- only so that the librarians can then tell the parents to get stuffed, go away, and take their goddamn rugrats with them.

/Librarians should be armed. With AK-47s.
//Shoot to Kill Orders in Effect.
 
2006-01-03 04:55:09 AM
nakedcritic: Ok, so let me get this straight. A bunch of farking LIBARRIANS are going to tell ME how to raise MY children?

Libarrians...a bunch of old childless spinsters...are going to tell ME that I'M a bad parent?

Well, excuse the FARK out of me, you hippie biddies. I don't have TIME to sit around reading Harlequin Romance novels all day. I have shiat to do. I have a job to go to. I have a social life to attend to.


Um, did you think of this before or after you made your wife drop the crotchfruit on the world? Dude, it's like this -- you can either be a parent or have fun. Once you're a parent, I'm sorry, but your job for eighteen years is BEING A FARKING PARENT. You don't have time to sit around all day? Then maybe you didn't have time to become a parent. Asshat.

Hint: Parenthood + Job = No Social Life. Sorry. That's just the way it is. So get over yourself and do your farking job. Numbnuts.
 
2006-01-03 04:56:02 AM
nakedcritic: PS: I realize you were probably being satirical, but I just had to answer as if you weren't. 'Cause, well... you know.
 
2006-01-03 04:57:48 AM
Check your sarcasm-meter, JB-NoHo. Could use a re-tuning, methinks.
 
2006-01-03 05:00:48 AM
Library alternatives:

Bowling alley
Video arcade (Um, do these still exist? I haven't checked.)
Pool hall
Friend's basement

Guess where I spent my spare (winter) time. My pothole-sized town's library was a joke; one table and maybe 200 books, mostly fiction. Hanging out there would have been almost equivalent to just sitting and staring at a bare wall.
 
2006-01-03 05:03:25 AM
JB-NoHo:

I would suggest reading the rest of that post and actually getting that it may have been a sarcastic post :)
 
2006-01-03 05:04:37 AM
This reminds me of our local Y. Yesterday I was in the pool and some kind went under. The lifeguard plucked him out, Mom was NOWHERE to be found. The police showed up, Mom was upstairs having coffee...while her non swimming kid bobbed around the pool. Of course it wasn't HER fault, she thought that someone would see the kid and watch over it. Yeah, watch it roll around the bottom.

/window seat plz
 
2006-01-03 05:25:43 AM
The most important love a library can give a child is not to collapse on top of it. It's been my experience that children who have collapsed buildings on top of them are not so much disruptive as distended, puffy slabs of putrid red meat. This is obviously not what the folks at the library intended. Which reminds me, have you ever fed onions to a dog? Cause I haven't, and I feel this hole in my knowledge burning a foul opening in my soul, as if a million donkeys with screwdrivers were twisting, twisting, ripping into the very fabric of my existence with such venom and evil that the surrounding lifeforces are squelching my liver.

So there's that. Anyway, kids these days are far too alive for my taste. In my day, we stored children in ether, under glass. It was educational for the children, and for the adults who would view the static, entombed munchkins with the bitter contempt they brought upon themselves.

Anyway, someone let me know about the onions to the dog thing.
 
2006-01-03 05:30:14 AM
I spent a lot of time in the library as a kid, but I spent it reading books. Or playing Oregon Trail.

/your brat has died of dysentery
 
2006-01-03 05:30:21 AM
paulseta

I once fed onion to my cat. I think he only ate it cos he knew he'd get a prawn after if he did. He was fine.
 
2006-01-03 05:32:07 AM
castufari two things:
First, the mom is going to hell, not you.
Second, you don't get to pick your seat. It's HELL.
\even if there were seats for the picking, all the empties would be reserved for other farkers by now.
 
2006-01-03 05:33:39 AM
JB-NoHo

That's one...

/tee hee
//ok, more like a half because you caught on
 
2006-01-03 05:39:33 AM
Lady J

I suppose if you broke the cat you could always feed it to the dog. I mean, I couldn't, 'cause I fed my dog to my hippo. But that's another story.

The thing about cats is, they always have another motive for anything they do. Sure, you can shoot them up with Sodium Pentathol and question them under bright lights for hour after hour, but they usually don't make it to the end of the "questioning". Thereafter comes the dog-food angle.

Remember, if your dog is old, and has weak teeth, you should use a blender first to make sure the food is easily gummed.

This reminds me, which one lives longer - cat, dog or hippo?
 
2006-01-03 05:40:43 AM
paulseta

that's some good acid you got yourself there
 
2006-01-03 05:44:50 AM
Ebenezer Farkers.

You kid haters should get a forum and jabber on to your heart's content.

Miserable gits.
 
2006-01-03 05:45:04 AM
Sulphuric.

I prefer quicklime for that sort of work, however.

Everyone has their own take on this sort of thing. For instance, when I was a professional mountain tamer, I used to fling acid in the faces of my sherpas if they got out of line. Unfortunately the acid I was using then was citric acid, which had little effect.
 
2006-01-03 05:51:46 AM
2006-01-03 05:45:04 AM paulseta

Sulphuric.

I prefer quicklime for that sort of work, however.

Everyone has their own take on this sort of thing. For instance, when I was a professional mountain tamer, I used to fling acid in the faces of my sherpas if they got out of line. Unfortunately the acid I was using then was citric acid, which had little effect.


Try using quicklime in conjunction with citric acid. The result is a nice, fruit-flavoured hard candy treat. It's like 5-Alive.
 
2006-01-03 05:56:17 AM
whoaaaaaaaaaaaa.
I was going to go to bed, but I may stay up and see how this situation with paulseta plays out.
Maybe he just needs someone to keep an eye on him in this hour of need. It's okay buddy.

/makes popcorn
/speaking of 5-alive... no, nevermind. where the hell is my other slash?
 
2006-01-03 05:58:50 AM
nakedcritic Try using quicklime in conjunction with citric acid. The result is a nice, fruit-flavoured hard candy treat. It's like 5-Alive.

5-Alive? Is that like the movie Short Cicuit? Did you know that the "Indian Guy" wasn't even Indian? I picketed the cinemas that were showing the film, day in and day out, until I received a letter of apology from the studio.

And by "apology", I mean I received a catalogue from a mail order company, which I decided was an apology. It worked out well, as I was about to start a hunger strike, and I really enjoy my food, which I why I started a special concrete farm after I finished designing the first cold fusion microwave oven (patent pending).
 
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