He goes on to win a court case involving his cousin being falsely accused of murder in a redneck, southern county and then he has kinky, plumber sex with Marisa Tomei?

I am a girl.. that has never pushed a car in her life and even I know that just leaving it in neutral does the job.

But the toolbox is in custody for driving without a license.

w00t! First greenlight.

mikerc971: w00t! First greenlight.

Yeah, but they changed your headline because it sucked!

/i keed
//only about the sucking

mikerc971: w00t! First greenlight.

congrats

Whamdangler: Yeah, but they changed your headline because it sucked!

Yeah, it was pretty crappy. I'm not feeling imaginative this morning.

Whaa? Okay, I'm gonna start posting weird/funny/interesting stories with [INSERT HEADLINE HERE] so I can get a greenlight. Like this wouldn't have been posted with a better headline later on...

Paw Paw is about the size of a suburban shopping mall, seeing this would have made my day.

This proves there is no God. If there was a God, the car would have been in reverse.

mikerc971: w00t! First greenlight.

Yeah, but they changed your headline because it sucked!

Yeah, but now my post is absolutely meaningless and I look like a doofus.

HenryFnord: This proves there is no God. If there was a God, the car would have been in reverse.


...and would be up for a Darwin award.

This apparently worked too well, for the car then sped off at speeds of up to 100 miles per hour across a muddy cut bean field.

My ass. I don't doubt the car took off quickly once free, but Cletus is likely WAY off in his estimation.

Um, Submitter, the answer to the lateral thinking puzzle is supposed to go at the end. This isn't lateral thinking Jeopardy.

That's a damn fool!

the car sped up to 100mph in less than 1/2 a mile.

in a bean field.

No.

\what's a 'paw paw man'?

So this is what Cletus Federline has been up to...

born dumb
stayed dumb

Why didn't he tie a rope to the toolbox and attach it to a tree or something so when the car started moving the box would get yanked out?

/Would've been better if he tied it to himself and got taken for a ride

But did he save money by switching to Geico?

Jack31081



Paw Paws?

That was a very weirdly written article.

"...for the car then sped off..." Biblical. I like it.

/"paw paw man" = new cliche?
//please?

Give the lunkhead a cupie doll!!

"Here's your sign"

if most production cars can't get up much past 100 in a quarter mile on flat, level, tarmac at a race track, there is no way in hell one got anywhere near 100 in a muddy, bumpy bean field in only a half mile.

are we related?

The outcome based educated generation is obviously old enough to work at a news outlet now.

/slashy

I dearly hope that, at least, he had a copy of "Yakety Sax" playing on his car stereo at the time.

Gotta love creative journalism.

1. How do they know it went over 100mph?

2. If it became airborne two places, how did the toolbox stay on the gas pedal?

3. I'm sure there's a 3.

I guess after the car sped off the guy got out his radar gun to see how fast the car was going?

It must be too early in the morning. I read 'Hilarity ensues' as 'Hillary ensues.' I can't take that kind of fright this early.

Smells like a case for the Mythbusters.

/wish there was video of this.

Don't automatics even have the option of putting the vehicle in first gear? At least, the automatics I've driven..

Story reminded me of this......

This needs a video! I want to see a car tearing through a bean field at 100 mph something awful!

Whats wrong with me?!

anyone remember the video with the stunt show driver, he had the gas pedal pushed down with something .then he stood next to the car as it did donuts around him.then he gets caught
under the wheels and get dragged around till someone stops the car.

/don't remember where i saw the vid
//makes sure tool box stays in the trunk.

HeWhoRoams: Check out the link I posted - it comes pretty close.......

IamPatSajak: I am a girl.. that has never pushed a car in her life and even I know that just leaving it in neutral does the job.


There is probably more to it, like levers and mass and momentum and mud and all kinds of other weird stuff!

Like my dad always said, "no sense being stupid you don't show it"

/words to live by

Heh, reminds me of when a friend and I were going home for Christmas break many years ago. It was in the middle of a blizzard (Iowa) and we probably shouldn't have tried to get home that day anyway, but..

My friend drove an 80's Escort and the valves on top of the carb weren't opening up so we weren't getting a lot of air into, and therefore power from, the engine. To fix this we decided to pry the valves open with a little stick -- great idea. This actually worked very well, until the stick apparently got jostled enough that it fell down into the carb jamming the accelerator mechanism in there. So we're on snow covered roads accerlerating quickly and the next thing you know we're spinning in circles down the interstate at 80 mph. Luckily there was no one near us and we slid off into the median where there was plenty of soft snow to cushion our impact.

Of course there was no towing during the storm, so we waited at a towing station in the middle of nowhere (even for Iowa) for 14 hours. That was a long day. We fixed the carb while we were there though and then proceded to finish our journey.

Pat Sajak - one of the most common reasons for getting stuck is a rear-wheel drive car with no weight in the back (the engine is in the front). Without any weight to push the rear-end down, the tires just spin and further bury the car in mud. Common techniques that usually work in these cases are to either fill the trunk with weight, have a friend push down and forward on the back end while you depress the accelerator, or calling a tow truck. This guy thought that he would do the push down and forward part AND the accelerator part. Not that stupid, if you have precautions in place.

/why the hell did I bother typing all that?
//Off to go clean my loaded gun's barrel.

dohnut
I just came up with the perfect Darwin Idea!! He should have put the box on the accelerator, but instead of pushing, gone to the front and lifted the weight.