Nothing livens up a dull Christmas party like opening up a can of live bees. Unless you've got a keg of angry hornets on hand.

I used to like all the free personalized pens I'd get in the mail when I owned my own company.

and a live snake would have been quite interesting to get in the mail box. :D

This is good news. Our live bee canning industry has been taking a real hit lately.

I got a live snake in the mail (fedex) for christmas....


/i was expecting it
//it was from my wife
///it's a bloodred cornsnake

My boss gave me some free "frozen smoothie place" coupons. He got them free from his last job.

/might have a job there in the New Year?
/yea!

There's a neighbor's cat (possibly abandoned or a runaway) that I call Dummy, who likes to hide behind things in my house, especially my bedroom. Double especially noisily, when I'm trying to sleep.

So before I leave for 48 hours for Christmas with the family, I shut the door to my bedroom, but not after looking around for signs of Dummy. When I come back and open the bedroom door, there he is, and the room is, uh, fragrant.

The cat may be a dumbass, but at least he had the decency to leave his hot cocoa sampler box in the bathtub (it's a master bedroom).

Why am I telling you this story? Because it's a hot cocoa sampler box story. Sorry that there wasn't any Christmas milkshake in it, too.

Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths, so when they bark they shoot bees at you? Well go ahead. Do your worst.

NOT TRUE. Here's the spam I got Christmas Day:

Subject: TonsForFree *** Creamy Hot Cocoa Sample
Date: Dec 25, 2005 3:05 PM

Do you answer these questions everyday?
Then you might get a suprise in 1 day!

*** MERRY CHRISTMAS ***

**** Want to find a Creamy Hot Cocoa Sample? ****

Just follow 2 EASY steps below, and we'll show you
where to find a Creamy Hot Cocoa Sample we found!

Directions:

1st step enter your zip code:
http://tonsforfree.com/cpgascard.html
<A HREF="http://tonsforfree.com/cpgascard.html">Go</A>

THEN

Email us the answer to this question:
ON second page: Does it say that word "where"?
mailto:w­ebma­stere­er­f­r­ofs­notco­m?subject=hotcocoa
Hint: It does say "where" on the first page :)

2nd step enter your zip code:
http://tonsforfree.com/se/vacuum.html
<A HREF="http://tonsforfree.com/se/vacuum.html">Go</A>

THEN

Email us the answer to this question:
ON second page: Does it say "Powerfull"?
mailto:w­ebma­stere­er­f­r­ofs­notco­m?subject=hotcocoa
Hint: It does say "Powerfull" on first page :)

3rd step: We show you where to find the sample:
After telling us the answer to the two questions
correctly we'll show where to find a Creamy Hot
Cocoa sample we found. Please answer BOTH questions. Thank you!

my employer doesn't care about my diet

I got a 1 year jelly of the month club subscription...

January is Apple Jelly month! yeah!!

I got an iPod nano from my company. No kidding. Granted, they didn't give out yearly bonuses for the first time in 5 years, but I wasn't around for any of the previous 4 years, and I didn't expect a bonus (they give em out based on company financial health, and we didn't do that well this year). Still, I got an iPod nano. Beats the crap out of a hot cocoa sampler box.

I got a Barnes & Noble gift card from my boss. No Christmas bonus in the history of the company.

Everyone getting crappy bonuses, what industry are you in? I've always worked in finance or energy, and have always been happy with what I got.

I just want to know which industries to avoid in the future.

I work for a Fortune 500 company and got a cup of jack-squat for the fifth consecutive year.

W00t!

I got a kick in the balls.

And as usual, for Christmas Fnorgby got a $2 bill, and Akbar got a trap.

My TFSS gave me a hot cocoa sampler box from Godiva. Thanks!

my mom got me a hot cocoa sampler box...what a biatch

what's a Christmas bonus? The only bonus I ever got was stock options in our still-privately-held-3-years-later company.

I actually got something this year besides the usual layoff. I got a travel clock. I think they're trying to tell me something.

My company gives an annual UFIA to all employees. I'd prefer the canned bees. By the way, Canned Bees could be an opening band for Pork Explosion (adjacent topic).

sounds like CEO's have been listening to too many Soft Boys records

HaywoodJablonski: Everyone getting crappy bonuses, what industry are you in? I've always worked in finance or energy, and have always been happy with what I got.

I'm assuming you mean cash. The only companies that really care about their employees give them cash bonuses...none of this dicking around with presents.

Rude Turnip: I'm assuming you mean cash

Absolutely.

I got a case of Boulevard Wheat beer!
Not actually from my "company" but one of our supervisors I do a lot of extra work for gave me the gift of beer.
Now I will continue to do extra things for him and not the others...

I got a pack of smokes. Smoke up, Johnny!

Gee. All I got was $400. No gift.

Bah.

/neenerneener

They unlocked our chains for a few hours.

I got nada.

NutznGum: Our live bee canning industry has been taking a real hit lately.


I work in a bee cannery, so I'm getting a real kick...

Aw, heck, I just can't do it.

"Marsh Davis, executive director of the Galveston Historical Foundation, said he cooks up a big batch of his Davis BBQ & Brisket Sauce Galveston Style to send to some business associates.

People seem to pretend that they like it, he said with a chuckle."

"I'm a complete farking asshole and I love every minute of it" he followed up.

I got a $50 gift card for a store where it costs $50 for a box of toothpicks...they are designer toothpicks at least...

I gave my staff hot cocoa from Williams Sonoma. I have ten employees and have to pay for their gifts out of my own pocket.

I didn't think it was so bad since my boss gave me NADA.

I would have liked a cocoa sampler.

The company I work for gave me a Dell 24" widescreen HD monitor, a Robosapien V2, and a Roboraptor for Christmas. Plus, it's just a great place to work.

/I really love my job.

To my wife's hospital employer (she's too "polite" to comment)... next time, please keep your crappy K-mart quality, man-cut, golf shirt with your corporate logo embroidery to yourself. The $3.17 you probably spent on it would look better on the company's bottom line than in the Goodwill drop-box... which is where everyone on my wife's unit donated theirs.

Say it, with bees.

Dec. 23 was my last day at my old job and the boss gave me a winter jacket (got other gifts from co-workers).

It looked nice and new, so I thought maybe my old boss was not such a sh*thead after all.

Then I took it home, put it on, and found in the pocket a used hockey ticket stub from 3 years ago... :o(

I actually did get a cocoa sampler box. From Starbucks, no less.

/After working for 2 weeks

Gifts from a boss or supervisor.

Ha

Company gave up a $25 redeemable certificate. Go to web site. $2 fee to convert certificate to gift card. Taxable so after state, fed and the lot, I figure ended up with $15. Think I'll just give it to a hobo on the street.

Cdn_Nrrd wins!!!

we used to get a canned ham every year - we always called it our "christmas boneless"

I drink alot of hot coco, and so everyone who knows me got me some. No sampler boxes, but I have more than enough to last me a long while.

I got to keep my job, at least for a while yet. I expect it to be gone to India before the end of '06, though.

And I got a hot tea sampler box, called "The Twelve Teas of Christmas" along with a 99c snowman mug from the drugstore.

I got a cash bonus and a huge freakin' ham (from my company), a mid-sized "gourmet" turkey (from a vendor rep), and candy, cookies, etc. from coworkers. (Last year the turkey givers gave out Free Night at Marriott certificates, which was better, but the turkey will be good, too.)

Oh, and not even a freakin' phone call/email from my former boss -- who I adored -- responding to a housewarming/holiday party invite. Punk.

"...In Appalachia, the saying goes, in
the bush, a redneck can kill you.
A drunken hunter can kill you.
And a Corn Snake can kill you. But only with
the Corn Snake, and this has been true
in Appalachia since the dawn of time,
is death sure. Hence its handle;
Death Incarnate."

Could someone please explain where the hot cocoa sampler box meme came from?

be careful, the cups are hot - use a napkin...

2005-12-26 02:03:43 PM Logical Dash

Could someone please explain where the hot cocoa sampler box meme came from?

Hot cocoa sampler box - This phrase came from a discussion on Fark regarding Christmas bonuses. One Farker claimed to have received a hot cocoa sampler box as a bonus. This led to an amusing discussion and an imaginary chain of events that led up to this hot cocoa sampler box bonus

Wikipedia is your firend. go there and seardh 'fark'. All of the cliches and memes shall be explained