They're cunning little critters. Mine keeps trying to make a break for it. I have to track it down and haul it's ass back to my desk.

/Also noticed the fugly ones hang around

Plastic.

On the other hand, they suggested, people might simply be taking them.

Just like a scientist to come up with complicated theories and ignoring the obvious answer. Dishes are to blame. Every child knows that they run away with the spoons.

Oh no no no they're wrong.

I'd better write a paper on this.

The manufacturers put a secret ingredient called 'Odd Sock Disolvo' into
every 5th spoon they make. This ingredient was invented by the sock
manufacturing trade - hence the name - and responds to heat and water.
Immersing the object in hot water repeatedly unzips the molecules of the
item causing it to dematerialise, hence it disappears.

Tupperware and other manufacturers of plastic kitchenware also use OSD (as
it's known in the trade) randomly in their containers, which is why you
always land up with some containers without lids and other shaped lids
without containers.

I suspect that the makers of school tracksuits occasionally use OSD in their
products, but have never managed to prove it.

The proof of this is that if you wash these items by hand - the water
doesn't get hot enough to affect them - and dry them immediately - the water
doesn't stay on them long enough - you'll find you can reduce
dematerialisation to almost zero.

Sounds like a problem for Hex.

Regretting that scientific literature was "strangely bereft" of teaspoon-related research,

You've got to be kidding me. And what kind of scientist is actually doing this type of study?

"There is no spoon?"

/Whoa

The spoons were intelligently designed.

actually the spoons were intelligently designed, think about it

"Scientists" who are unfamiliar with pilfering.

Here comes the science: "Repeatedly stealing small quantities of cash, postage stamps, office supplies, spoons, company manufactured products, services, and other organizational assets for personal gain."

An office that bothers to wash and reuse spoons?

Vamana - I concur. I think the ingredient also might have found it's way into the plastic that is used for blank VHS tapes.

Great. Something else for the liberals to blame on Bush.

/did not RTFA

On the case

Actually, the spoons morph into wire coat hangers.

Wow, is this all that scientists have to do now that they've eliminated cancer, the HIV, common colds, and hangovers? It's gonna be mighty boring in the ol' laboratory.

/cliche, I know
//

Meh, it's not my tax dollars at work.

They should have put a Satelite beeper in the spoons, then track the spoons on a map (of the employees houses/cars)

Socks.

Give me back all my friggin socks, single sock stealer.

I'll swap you for these pens which seem to multiply when no-one is looking.

Still no cure for...

Methinks that looking in the now defunct garbage disposal would solve the mystery...

1. Collect spoons
2. ?
3. Profit!

ArkAngel: Neo-Wan Kenobi waves hand, says "There is no spoon."

Eh?

Yeah, I worked in a small office and we didn't lose forks or knives, only spoons.

/I think the spoon fairies took them
//slashy goodness

All your spoons are belong to us!!!

Verisimilitudinous pilfery.

Spoons from work often end up at my home because I habitually put the spoon "back" into my bag. Conversely, I leave MY spoons at work.