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(   Uri Geller promises not to use his psychic powers to influence football games.   ( ) divider line 38
    More: Stupid  
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2493 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 May 2002 at 12:19 AM (13 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

38 Comments   (+0 »)

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2002-05-14 07:48:33 PM  
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2002-05-15 12:21:45 AM  
Here in America, we call it boring, oops I mean soccer
2002-05-15 12:22:34 AM  
I promise not to use my army of zombies to influence the next presidential election.
2002-05-15 12:25:20 AM  
I promise not to use my Jedi Powers to hijack beer trucks.
2002-05-15 12:25:30 AM  
Nor will I break the gate and release the Great Old Ones. Anybody else got resolutions?
2002-05-15 12:25:38 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
Like ANYONE will be able to stop this guy next year.

BTW ALL FARK football fans.
Who wants to help me coordinate a FARK football pool with cash money prizes in the end?
Of course it would be like a $10 entrance fee per player for the season but that is reasonable.
Hell I'm open to ideas.

Bigpeeler maybe?
2002-05-15 12:25:48 AM  
2002-05-15 12:26:17 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-05-15 12:28:14 AM  
BTW ALL FARK football fans.
Who wants to help me coordinate a FARK football pool with cash money prizes in the end?
Of course it would be like a $10 entrance fee per player for the season but that is reasonable.
Hell I'm open to ideas.

Bigpeeler maybe?

I double posted this because that picture above might get my post pulled. A little too wide.
2002-05-15 12:28:17 AM  
I love McFarlane's work. I swear I thought that was a real photo until I saw "" at the top.
2002-05-15 12:28:57 AM  
Here in the rest of the worldBobhemprules we acknowledge it as the greatest game in the world, by far the most popular.. and we laugh to ourselves at ingorant americans such as yourself.

That comment of yours has been overdone turkey boy. Move along to something more demanding of your time..hamburgers perhaps?
2002-05-15 12:31:04 AM  
Are you mocking cheeseburgers? Using my psychic powers I predict you will fare poorly in the great condiment war of '03
2002-05-15 12:31:36 AM  
"A garden tool, vanilla, and Uri Geller..."
"What's a rake, a shake, and a fake?"
2002-05-15 12:34:34 AM  
In his case, easier done than said!
2002-05-15 01:00:20 AM  
New Exeter joint-chairman Uri Geller has assured fans that he will not be using his paranormal powers to influence events on the pitch.

Is this not [image from too old to be available] ?
2002-05-15 01:05:21 AM  
Uri Geller. Wasn't this the guy who was discredited by the Amazing Randi, live on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson?

I want to hear similar assurances from the Amazing Kreskin.
2002-05-15 01:11:11 AM  
What about the Stupendous Yappi?
2002-05-15 01:26:11 AM  
go bend a spoon, Uri.
2002-05-15 01:27:09 AM  
and while you're at it, don't forget to poll the Ubiquitous Steve
2002-05-15 02:27:33 AM  
In 1972, in a effort to expose the truth about Geller, Randi went to Johnny Carson. Geller squirmed and fumbled through a disastrous 22 minute appearance. Try as he might, he was
unable to perform a single feat. Unbeknownst to him, Carson's producers, consulting with Randi, had set up safeguards against cheating.

2002-05-15 02:29:54 AM  
I think that headline was a misprint, it should've read 'FAGBALL' not 'FOOTBALL'.
2002-05-15 02:54:55 AM  
Does Gellar also promise not to be a completly obvious assmagnet fraud from now on?
2002-05-15 03:26:44 AM  
My baby dog can do that.
2002-05-15 03:27:41 AM  
Bah, let's see some more promises. I promise not to use my freeze ray to girdle the world in a blanket of icy cold death! But, only if we get some more resolutions. Otherwise it's bye-bye Bermuda! bwahaha haha ha ha
2002-05-15 03:33:03 AM  
I'd like to apologize for mentally farking up the elections in Florida. My bad.
2002-05-15 03:57:59 AM  
2002-05-15 04:08:07 AM  
Well, I think we can all breathe a sigh of relief.
2002-05-15 05:05:21 AM  
I saw a program about Gellar before - he's a cunning little shiat - he has sold 'divining' services to surveying companies before - where he flies over countryside (in a helicopter, not with the power of his mind) and finds new oil reserves. The best bit was that he pasted endorsements from them all over his website, while they actually sacked him when they'd collectively sobered up and realised he was a fraud...

The endorsement is gone now, but if you check out "There's more to Uri than Spoon bending" then you can find out his theorys about September 11th - not enough Moon Jews or Space Nazi's in it to be a proper whacked out theory, but...
2002-05-15 07:30:22 AM  
Uris Geller is a charlatan and a huckster.
2002-05-15 08:05:03 AM  


Geez, I didn't know Sarah Michelle was mixed up in bending spoons with her mind, let alone act... :)
2002-05-15 08:16:18 AM  
ArthurODent: I had forgotten about Stupendous Yappi...thanks for the laugh!
2002-05-15 08:52:36 AM  
"In recent years I have ebbed away from the spoon-bending, preferring to focus on more important issues, amongst them self-help, self-belief, motivation and inspiration."

I'm sure the spoon-bending industry will be poorer for his absence.
2002-05-15 09:10:16 AM  
U R still a loser...there are some things we already know about what's going to happen, dumbass. Like ALL the Jedi except Anakin/Darth, Yoda, and Obi Wan are going to die in this movie or the next.
2002-05-15 10:55:39 AM  
Isn't he Israeli?
2002-05-15 11:19:02 AM  
"My role in this domain will be solely, should the manager be in agreement, to be an inspirational, motivational figure, perhaps popping down to the dressing room just to give the team a boost."

And look at their naked bodies and dream of the day he and Micheal jackson discovered ......
2002-05-15 02:50:58 PM  
I promise not to use my psychic powers to turn Jessica Alba, Heather Graham, and Natalie Portman into insatiable lesbians.
Unless they're all in the same room and there's a camcorder present, in which case all bets are off.
2002-05-16 01:10:43 PM  
2002-05-22 03:56:57 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
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