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(WTOP)   Wilma and Katrina blamed for spread of canker. Paris and Britney shuffle feet nervously, stare at floor   (wtop.com) divider line 43
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7412 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Dec 2005 at 10:29 PM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-12-19 08:36:44 PM
Still no cure for canker
 
2005-12-19 09:23:19 PM
still no cure for rich crack whores
 
2005-12-19 10:30:00 PM
I could cure some rich crack whores, if they would only let me. Or at very least, work up a fine codependency.
 
2005-12-19 10:33:25 PM
Wow, wind spreads wind-spread spores.

Imagine that.
 
2005-12-19 10:35:18 PM
A heh for the submitter...
 
2005-12-19 10:40:02 PM
That whore.

 
2005-12-19 10:41:22 PM
It's funny because Brittney and Paris represent every girl the submitter couldn't get in high school, so obviously they're whores.

Heh heh. It's funny 'cause it's true.

/Everyone's handsome on the internet
 
2005-12-19 10:42:59 PM
PapermonkeyExpress

No, they're just dirty little sluts. They don't get paid anything.
 
2005-12-19 10:47:36 PM
PapermonkeyExpress:

No, they represent the kind of girls intelligent guys wouldn't have wanted to get. I've been pretty desperate, but I wouldn't hook up with either of them if you payed me.

 
2005-12-19 10:50:02 PM
No, no, the article is about canker... citrus canker.

What Paris and Brittany spread around is chancre... syphalitic chancre.

How to tell the difference:

citrus canker:



syphalitic chancre:

link to absolutely NSFW pic of chancre
 
2005-12-19 10:50:10 PM
I blame 9/11.
 
2005-12-19 10:50:11 PM
I agree.

I'd tap Jessica Simpson though, even though she can't tell the difference between Tuna and Chicken.
 
2005-12-19 10:53:40 PM
grytpype-thynne

syphalitic chancre:

disturbing, but highly appropriate

/blech
 
2005-12-19 10:54:58 PM
I would have given my left testicle to hook up with either of them in high school. Having someone with which to carry on an pseudointelligent conversation, or being able to look at myself in the mirror in the morning, was of little concern back then. Come to think of it, I was thinking of growing a beard.. hmm..
 
2005-12-19 10:55:30 PM
grytpype-thynne

That looks like a picture of Mars.
 
2005-12-19 11:00:40 PM
Ah. So that's what those bumps are. Thank Odin! I thought it might have been the herp.

/Didn't read the article
//never miss an STD joke
 
2005-12-19 11:00:54 PM
PapermonkeyExpress It's funny because Brittney and Paris represent every girl the submitter couldn't get and every other guy nailed in high school, so obviously they're whores.

Fixed it for you, now its funny

Whats really funny is this girl likes my brother and ten years ago I watched three guys pull a train on her, not going to tell my brother till after he hooks up with her if he does!
 
2005-12-19 11:02:04 PM
 
2005-12-19 11:02:58 PM
crypt0z0ic: I would have given my left testicle...

Why is it always the left? What do people have against their left nut? Is it because it hangs lower (or is that phenomenon unique to me)?

/TMI?
 
2005-12-19 11:08:22 PM
keydock:
No, they represent the kind of girls intelligent guys wouldn't have wanted to get. I've been pretty desperate, but I wouldn't hook up with either of them if you payed me.

For those farkers who buy this or don't understand this mentality, try this link:

http://www.umass.edu/aesop/content.php?n=10&i=1

"It's easy to despise what you cannot have."
 
2005-12-19 11:11:49 PM
eventhelosers: Whats really funny is this girl likes my brother and ten years ago I watched three guys pull a train on her, not going to tell my brother till after he hooks up with her if he does!


The correct phrase is to run a train.

/gang bang terminology Nazi
 
2005-12-19 11:21:50 PM
Britney I can see, if they cleaned her up but I honestly do not see the attraction of Paris Hilton in the least. The fact that she's constantly in the news without producing anything doesn't help.
 
2005-12-19 11:22:51 PM
submitter: *thumbs up*
 
2005-12-19 11:25:47 PM
I would have given my left testicle to hook up with either of them in high school. Having someone with which to carry on an pseudointelligent conversation, or being able to look at myself in the mirror in the morning, was of little concern back then. Come to think of it, I was thinking of growing a beard.. hmm..

I only have my left one remaining, lost my right one to cancer. The funny thing is, I had much more after that. I used to tell girls about it and asked if "they wanted to see my fake nut", ninety-five percent took me up on it. Let me tell you, once a woman has your nut (plus the fake one) in their hands, you're three quarters of the way to getting laid.
 
2005-12-19 11:30:20 PM
Oh yeah, on topic. The county I live in produced more citrus than all of California. It's a bad scene now, groves are being burned down everyday. Citrus is no longer king here.
 
2005-12-19 11:53:00 PM
Dude they are burning the groves because they can get more cash from developers than they can from fruit. It happened to me out here in Orlando. Avalon Park used to be a citrus grove. All the canker down here seems to do is make an ugly ass orange. You can eat it - it doesn't do anything to the inside. But you can;t sell it that way. That's the reason why they hop into yur yard and cut down your tree. Ugly fruit. No way a yankee is going to pay $5 a pop for an ugly ass honey bell.
 
2005-12-20 12:03:50 AM
faethe

I agree, where citrus was king, now people are building on those old groves. Canker does not change the taste of an orange, or the quality of juice. But the grove owned by grower "B" does not want the canker infestation on neighbor grower "A", so he does what he can to protect his crop, while grower "A" says, "fark it, I'll sell to the developers. Now grower "b" must follow to save the value of his land.

/drunk, but I hope that makes sense.
 
2005-12-20 12:06:13 AM
Why is it always the left? What do people have against their left nut? Is it because it hangs lower (or is that phenomenon unique to me)?

/TMI?


You should not be asking what they have AGAINST the left testicle, but why it is so coveted. As AhGodUSmellThat stated, he only has his left one remaining; I believe that you will find this to be true with most one-nutters. The left nut holds mysterious, arcane, and (some would say) magical properties that very few dare speak of. Therefore, when one says that they would give up their left nut, you should take it seriously.
 
2005-12-20 12:09:03 AM
On the other hand, if you ever hear someone say that they will relinquish their RIGHT nut, you can be sure that they are insincere.
 
2005-12-20 12:10:22 AM
crypt0z0ic

Well said, and funny.
 
2005-12-20 12:30:09 AM
Why is it always the left? What do people have against their left nut? Is it because it hangs lower (or is that phenomenon unique to me)?

/TMI?


my left nut is also lower. anyone else?
 
2005-12-20 12:31:12 AM
cryptozoic you owe my employer a new keyboard. and a reason as to why I was drinking beer at my desk during work.
 
2005-12-20 12:50:18 AM
I'd hit it.
 
2005-12-20 01:17:59 AM
Tara Reid called and said thanks for not using her name in the title of the story.
 
2005-12-20 01:57:56 AM
crypt0z0ic: The left nut holds mysterious, arcane, and (some would say) magical properties that very few dare speak of. Therefore, when one says that they would give up their left nut, you should take it seriously.

Hmmm...the left nut does seem to be heavier as it hangs lower than the right (based on this scientifc poll of 2 people), and it also seems to be haler as it's better equipped to defend itself from cancer.

That said: how could you hook up with them hos without your coveted testicle?
 
2005-12-20 02:47:01 AM
InflatableJesus:

No nuts? Well, you could go with some plastic ones, or a long schlong; self-confidence works, I hear, although I have never experienced that for myself. If all else fails, boobies or fat lips... most women are bi-sexual; they will not admit to bi-sexuality, but most will admit that they want to fark Angelina Jolie.
 
2005-12-20 02:56:35 AM
2005-12-20 12:31:12 AM SumoJeb

cryptozoic you owe my employer a new keyboard. and a reason as to why I was drinking beer at my desk during work.


...I have no money for a new keyboard. ..and if what you say is true, you can just say that I bought you the beer and you felt as if it would hurt my feelings if you turned it down; peer pressure. ...or you can say you are a drunk, have a disease and need help, but "pleeeeeeeze, pleeeeeeeeeze don't fire me, I'll lick/suck your.." ......or maybe your boss is cool, I dunno. ...happy holidays.
 
2005-12-20 03:13:34 AM
I don't understand how anyone can find either of those two horseheaded talentless slags attractive... I wouldn't have even given them a second glance in high school... Foul beasts...
 
2005-12-20 05:25:39 AM
I have to say that that was the finest headline in months.
 
2005-12-20 07:24:35 AM
Britney? Would have thought Christina.
 
2005-12-20 08:55:20 AM
I have microlithiasis in my right nut...my left nut is larger and does hang lower. Hmm...
 
2005-12-20 12:12:00 PM
iamjustsittingwatchingthetimegobye: I'd hit it.

Um, hello? NSFW!?!?
 
HTH
2005-12-20 02:02:38 PM
faethe

That's the reason why they hop into yur yard and cut down your tree. Ugly fruit.

And they don't even compensate you with a free supply of fruit from one mature tree from their healthy grove, let alone let that supply be transferable to the next owner of the home.
 
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