Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(   Possible chance of snowflake or two in Carolinas tonight. Bread and milk distributors high-five each other, light cigars with $100 bills   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
•       •       •

6156 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Dec 2005 at 1:27 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

246 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all

2005-12-08 01:59:12 PM  
I'm from Rochester, NY (snowiest large North American city) but I live in DC now. I LOVE it when it snows here...the chaos is awesome and I get to phone it in at work.
2005-12-08 01:59:24 PM  

We were on steep hills the whole way, and my car had a weak parking brake at the time. So, I didn't want to risk getting out to pee and letting my car slide into someone else. :P
2005-12-08 01:59:43 PM  
syberpud: In Virginia (well, NoVA), there seems to be 3 classifications:

1. people who have never driven in snow - drive overly cautious.
2. people with huge SUV's that think they are invincible - drive crazy even for dry conditions.
3. people originally from northern states who try to avoid groups 1 & 2.

Group 2 is the biggest danger - to themselves and others. A Tahoe may compensate for your small penis, but it still follows the laws of physics.

Great summary and analysis of the idiot drivers in Virginia. I would also add Maryland to list.
2005-12-08 02:00:00 PM  
I've never understood the bread & milk thing either. The vast majority of Americans have enough body fat to provide both insulation and self-nourishment for 24 hours and beyond.

/Hysteria = funny
//Mass hysteria = funny + popcorn
2005-12-08 02:01:17 PM  
Our little town (Pineville, borders Charlotte) will lay down (salt) brine on the main roads, but I live in a little loop of a neighborhood that isn't considered a main road. They don't do ANYTHING for us, so I'm often contained by a 1/4 mile of ice and can't make it to work... Poor me. It actually does kinda suck, though, since the ice has come on weekends about as often as weekdays...
2005-12-08 02:03:19 PM  
Does anyone else think Larry Sprinkle kinda looks like the guy on House?
2005-12-08 02:03:19 PM  
Ten things you can make with Milk Eggs and Bread:

1. French Toast
2. Freedom Toast (Just trying to make everyone happy here.)
3. The World's Worst Quiche.
4. Milk Sammich (Warum nicht?)
5. High Protein Smoothie (Provided you have a blender.)
6. Toast Crpes
7. Egg Sandwich and Glass of Milk. (One of my favorite breakfasts actually.)
8. Toast Omelette
9. Modern Art
10. Exfoliating Face Mask
2005-12-08 02:04:18 PM  
Snow is coming, quick.. go buy the shiat that will go bad the fastest...

//stupid asshats
2005-12-08 02:04:22 PM  
Luckily we have the Live SnowBlog to keep us updated on the impending 2-4 inches of white death.
2005-12-08 02:04:37 PM  
SueDisco: I'm from Rochester, NY (snowiest large North American city) but I live in DC now. I LOVE it when it snows here...the chaos is awesome and I get to phone it in at work.

You'll be phoning in tomorrow. The beltway is going to be absolutely gridlocked. Good luck all you NoVA/DC/Baltimore farkers with your morning commute. It is going to be hell.
2005-12-08 02:04:38 PM  
On Christmas Day 2004 we got 4 inches of snow in Corpus Christi; first snowfall in 103 years, it was beautiful. Best part of all, it was all melted by noon.
2005-12-08 02:05:17 PM  
What IS the deal with milk and bread? I've never quite understood that. I understand that you can make peanut butter sandwiches and snow cream, but what do you do after that? With air pollution now, there's no way I would ever make snow cream again---it would probably be full of nasty chemicals.

Back in 1980 In Burlington,NC, we had a storm that took out power for a week---probably the best snow-week I've ever had. I think we had close to 1.5 feet of snow. We roasted hot dogs over the fire, had a lot of soup and chili---it was a blast.
2005-12-08 02:05:26 PM  
Being Canadian, I read stories like this and snicker. Great headline submitter.
2005-12-08 02:06:59 PM  
It's kinda funny here in Colorado, on I-25, which is usually only traveled by locals, traffic seems to move quick and steady during snowstorms, even pretty bad ones. However on I-70, which is the main highway headed into the mountains and is frequented by tourists and skiers headed to the ski resorts, traffic is always horrible. Granted I-70 is not as flat as I-25 but it's amazing how pigheaded some of the drivers on it are.
2005-12-08 02:07:13 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Outside Stroud, OK-----Interstate 44, 2003. Saw this one coming and snapped a photo right as the plow nudged the Lincoln.

We got about 1" last night, I went 1/4 of a mile for smokes and saw 3 cars off the side of the road.
2005-12-08 02:09:01 PM  
great headline, submitter.

This Story was much better, though.
(does NOT pop)
2005-12-08 02:13:51 PM  
I for one submit to my one inch snow overloads and will take their advice to drive myself and anyone else near me into the nearest ditch.
2005-12-08 02:13:58 PM  
The county I live in near the beach in NC is one of the smallest counties, but is #1 for car crashes WITHOUT the snow. If the forcast is for snow here, the town basically shuts down. Everyone goes into "snow day" mode, even if we only get a dusting. The only thing I stock up on is beer & wings.
2005-12-08 02:15:03 PM  
acecold: is that a gigantic yankee candle on the back of that plow? what the hell is that?

/rear wheel drive + snow = no fun
2005-12-08 02:15:46 PM  
delsydsoftware makes the best point. We almost never get pure snow anymore, it's always sleet or freezing rain that makes the roads pure ice, not grippy, crunching snow. Add to that, a lot of people live outside the city where the roads have 30' drops on the side, no shoulder, no curbing and no guardrails. It's just not worth getting out into it just to prove how awesome you can drive your metro on ice and LOL at teh morans in their SUV's.

Plus they don't plow the roads around our trailer parks and our redneck 4x4's are always up on blocks in the winter after tearing them up during our drunken escipades while deer hunting. They close the schools because they can't run the busses so our inbred children are at home and someone has to stay and watch them. Also the snow on the ground provides a stark contrast in the de-foliated woods so someone has to go out and camoflage the meth lab in the woods. And you have to bring the snakes inside or they will freeze and you won't have anything to pray with on Sunday.
2005-12-08 02:18:34 PM  
In the south this:

[image from too old to be available]

equals this:

[image from too old to be available]

People don't know how to drive in any condition except HOT.
2005-12-08 02:18:57 PM  

OMG!! I have to run to the store!12!1

You know who I like? Larry Sprinkle in Charlotte. Appropriate name for a weatherman.

You can't beat SoCals Johnny Mountain & Dallas Raines...
2005-12-08 02:19:28 PM  
Attention all Southern folk:

Try not to spill any milk on your skirts.
And if you do, sop it up with your bread, Nancy.

2005-12-08 02:20:00 PM  
shorelover: acecold: is that a gigantic yankee candle on the back of that plow? what the hell is that?

it's a yankee candle air freshener hanging from my ex-wife's rear-view mirror.
2005-12-08 02:21:31 PM  
Im lookin out my window in Chapel Hill right now and Im calling bull hockey, it doesnt even feel that cold out.
2005-12-08 02:21:34 PM  
runchkin I fully plan on phoning it in...we were only planned to have a half day to allow us to go Christmas shopping anyway...and a 1 1/2 hr meeting in the morning + breakfast. Anyway, not a day set to be a model of productivity anyway.

I live right downtown, so the best part is that I walk everywhere EXCEPT to work. Muah ha ha ha plan is working.
2005-12-08 02:21:51 PM  
I'm in Greenville SC, but from Boston. The people down here just don't get it. Talk of snow is enough to cancel school. They are only predicting rain for me, but about 30 minutes north they are predicting snow. I have co-workers up there that have already called in sick for tomorrow since they don't think they can drive in the 1/2 inch they are going to get.
2005-12-08 02:23:19 PM  
What do you mean, you don't know why there are milk and bread runs in bad weather?
Geez. You people.
You're supposed to have a pantry, root cellar, etc. stocked with enough non-perishables to last you through a whole winter of being snowed in. But milk and bread are perishable, so you never have more than a few days' worth around.
Therefore, if you're stuck in the house for two weeks you're gonna run out of the normal supply you keep and will have to have extra on hand. So when the bad weather comes you make sure you have plenty.
Or, here in the lower 48 in the 21st century where the roads generally become navigable a day or two after a storm (unless you live in the mountains) this isn't necessary whatsoever.
Old habits die hard.

/walked to school
//five miles
///uphill both ways
////Kids these days.
//Get off my lawn!
//Bah humbug.
2005-12-08 02:23:27 PM  
For Smart Ass:

[image from too old to be available]

Thanks, Imageshack!
2005-12-08 02:25:23 PM  
Attention all Southern folk:

Try not to spill any milk on your skirts.
And if you do, sop it up with your bread, Nancy. least large numbers of southerners don't DIE when the temp and humidity get above 90.

better save some of that snow for next summer.
2005-12-08 02:26:02 PM  
As a (region A)er living in (region B), I find it, shocking--nay, flabbergasting--that these (region B) hicks/pussies find (inclement weather type) such a disturbance! What are these people, retarded? It makes me laugh. I'm laughing, right now. Back in (region A), we knew how to handle (inclement weather type)! We eat (inclement weather type)-cereal for breakfast and weave (inclement weather type)-thread into our underpants!!!!

Now you have a convenient form for your out-o-towner biatching.

/displaced S.Carolinian
2005-12-08 02:27:09 PM  
Do these people not understand that you can *make* bread? It's not hard. And if you're trapped in your house, what the hell else do you plan to do?

Sure, milk is hard to come by. That is, if you're a Suburbian and can't walk to the grocery store two blocks away.

A snow storm for me now means I have to put on my boots and long underwear and walk to work.

\There is no way to describe how much I love living in the city.
\\In the north
\\\Where we have four seasons, just like FSM wanted.
2005-12-08 02:27:48 PM  
I was in Boone, NC for the "blizzard of '93". We were without power for 8 days. We lived on venison and bourbon.
2005-12-08 02:32:36 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

good ol' Boone.
2005-12-08 02:33:14 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2005-12-08 02:33:15 PM  
I moved to KS from SC in July and this morning we awoke to 5 inches of snow. We don't get snow in Charleston and thought I'd like it, but its just a nuisance and the cold unbearable. Now I long for the beach!!
2005-12-08 02:33:50 PM  
In addition, I really do find it gratifying to watch north-folk deal with tropical weather. "O NOES!! Teh Tropkl Dpreshin knocked ovR mI trEe HauS!111" Could it be because--gasp!--your local infrastructure is not equipped to handle it? It makes me laugh because of all the ribbings southerners get for freaking out when it snowed just enough to dust the grass.

//NO WAI!!!1
///Hurricane Hugo FTW
2005-12-08 02:34:19 PM  
My family just moved to Atlanta, ditching me here in the great white north (Chicago). They get a half inch of snow there, and they shut the city down. We get a half inch of snow here (Chicago), and we brush off our cars and go about life, business as usual.

Hell, we go about life as if nothing happened up to about 10 inches. After that, people wig out a bit here too.

Personally, I don't care. I drive/ride my bike no matter what the weather is. As far as I'm concerned, it's shorts weather until it gets to be 25 degrees or lower.

FSM, thank you for all four seasons. Even if we get all 4 of them in the span of 5 days.

Chicago, I love you, and your hellish weather.

/Blah. Milk and bread, don't people know about RAMEN!?!

2005-12-08 02:34:39 PM  
you have to bring the snakes inside or they will freeze and you won't have anything to pray with on Sunday.

Ha Ha Ha Classic!!!
2005-12-08 02:34:39 PM  
I was born and raised in the DC area and still shake my head at the "chicken littles" who shriek themselves into utter panic. For goodness sake, if you have been here more than one winter, you know the forecasts are correct MAYBE half the time.
Don't understand the milk/bread thing. In this area, no one is more than a 1/2 mile from a grocery store or 7-11. And no, mommy, your kids are not going to starve if they have to go one day without milk.
/Was planning on taking tomorrow off to shop!
//Am pissed!
///Though I did stock up on the wine...more necessary than milk!!
2005-12-08 02:34:49 PM  
2005-12-08 02:27:48 PM orange soup

How is that different from any other time?

\like venison
\\like bourbon
\\\hungry for bourbon and venison, now.
2005-12-08 02:35:16 PM  
My husband was stuck in that '04 traffic mess for nine hours! It wasn't just the snow that was the problem. The schools made things worse by releasing early. All those parents rushing to get their children, plus all the communters, plus the icy roads made for a real mess.

I work with a bunch of meteorologists and they never saw that one coming. Luckily I saw it coming when some woman in a new Land Rover that thought she could cruise around on ice because she was in an SUV almost slammed into my Outback. It only took me 4 times as long to get home that day because I avoided the interstate. I swear that people only know one way to get from one place to another around here.

Not gonna happen. Greg Fischel on WRAL said so. Maybe Charlotte, but not the Raleigh-Durham area.

Greg Fishel is the worst. Remember in 2000 when he called for "light sleet" in Raleigh and we got like 20 inches in 24 hour? Or that we might "feel some wind and get a little rain" from Hurricane Fran?

Although it is true that people flip the fark out around here at the slightest chance of winter weather (former Iowan). I think most of it has to do with how unprepared the municipal governments are to handle bad weather. I do have some (not so) nice memories of working at Winn Dixie as a kid and getting threats from old ladies.

/Not worried about a little nasty weather.
//Brews own beer, and has a solidly stocked closet.
2005-12-08 02:36:18 PM  
"...since they don't think they can drive in the 1/2 inch they are going to get."

Wow, 1/2 inch. Now that's an obstacle
I drive my bicycle every day to get to work, 12 months a year, sometime through a foot of snow when the city isn't fast enough on plowing. I used to be a bike courrier downtown Montreal, winter snow and ice doesn't scare me anymore.

Winter driving isn't that hard, it's like skating but on rubber wheels.

/forgot that most southerners do not even know what skating is...
//balls thawed.
2005-12-08 02:37:52 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Bring it biatches!
2005-12-08 02:38:27 PM  
Crappetite least large numbers of southerners don't DIE when the temp and humidity get above 90.

From your link:

"From Minnesota to Texas, the heat has been responsible for more than 50 deaths this summer..."

Texas != North
50 != large number (respectively)

Make sure you buy Skim Milk. We wouldn't want to let a little snow ruin your girlish figure, would we?
2005-12-08 02:39:05 PM  
In the blizzard of '89 we were snowed in for nine days. on day 4 we lost our corkscrew and for the other 5 had to survive on water alone.

oh, and yea, southerner's can't drive on snow. we only get it to stick 3-4 times per year and everything shuts down then, so we never get any practice.

/tried once on ice/mush/snow
//rear wheel drive
///made it out the driveway
//one for el road
2005-12-08 02:41:15 PM  
my son thought he would have a snow day,but they dont have snow days here! we have never felt 0 degrees b4, so now we know the meaning of the word COLD!! and I was stuck in Atlanta in the ice storm bcuz of a 13 car pileup, and stayed there for 6 hrs. all this winter makes me mourn the loss of the days of eternal summer down shoveling sidewalks and digging out my car...shorts all yr...awww, now I'm homesick.
2005-12-08 02:42:59 PM  
I live in Minnesota, we love to watch the news on days like this, it makes for great jokes around the water cooler in the AM.
2005-12-08 02:44:23 PM  
Snowflakes are proof that God exists.
2005-12-08 02:44:55 PM  
Any Carolina Farkers hear from Mark Mathis lately? ;)
Displayed 50 of 246 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.