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(Reuters)   Shed beats off hummingbird and buttocks for prestigious art prize. Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson not available for comment   (today.reuters.co.uk) divider line 52
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4914 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Dec 2005 at 1:28 PM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-12-07 11:58:16 AM  
explained to anyone baffled by their artistic value that his works were "the physical mainfestation of my thought process".


I take it that most of his works resemble a great steaming pile of shiat.

/critic
 
2005-12-07 01:03:42 PM  
Loneliness is being the ass-man on a jury of shed-men.
 
2005-12-07 01:31:08 PM  
so, you'll be using the second shed to write in?
 
dly
2005-12-07 01:31:45 PM  
beats off!
 
2005-12-07 01:32:14 PM  
 
2005-12-07 01:32:27 PM  
How do you beat off a hummingbird? Are they suprisingly hung?
 
2005-12-07 01:32:42 PM  
wooo hoo!! Beats off Humming bird AND buttocks!! Amazing
 
2005-12-07 01:33:58 PM  
"You said "beats off"!"
 
2005-12-07 01:34:24 PM  
back in my day
we didn't have no sheds
all we had was lean-to's
and we was damn thankful for them lean-to's

/get off my farking lawn
 
2005-12-07 01:34:51 PM  


Huh huh, "beats off"

Huh huh, "bird"

Huh huh, "butt"
 
2005-12-07 01:35:08 PM  


My work here is done.
 
dly
2005-12-07 01:35:14 PM  
 
2005-12-07 01:35:15 PM  
who the hell is arthur jackson?
 
2005-12-07 01:36:53 PM  
Simon Starling won the coveted 25,000-pound prize with "Shedboatshed"

I have a carhumptydumptycar - I drove it on top of a retaining wall, it fell off, then got put back together as a car again. Where's my prize?
 
2005-12-07 01:37:21 PM  


Arthur "Two Sheds"



Jackson
 
2005-12-07 01:38:37 PM  
StarshipPooper

So you're the assman?!
 
2005-12-07 01:39:27 PM  
Excellent reference submitter. I watched particular episode the other night.

/golf claps for everyone
 
2005-12-07 01:39:30 PM  
Weird coicidence -- I beat off to hummingbirds too!
 
2005-12-07 01:40:19 PM  
For Guurgle's benefit:

Arthur "Two Sheds" Jackson
 
2005-12-07 01:42:32 PM  
Excellent, that link confirms my choice of images as spot on! Yay.
 
2005-12-07 01:42:46 PM  
the physical mainfestation of my thought process

ie - you're a talentless hack.

These kind of artists really are useless. I can see better creations by more talented artists at the local craft show hosted in the High School gym this Saturday from 9am-6pm and at only $5 a cover, a better deal.
 
2005-12-07 01:44:00 PM  
I see the words "beats off hummingbird", see there's only about 15 posts, think maybe, just maybe, i can be one of the first wave of people to point out the article said a funny. But of course about a dozen people already beat me to it.

Thats FARK in a nutshell for ya
 
2005-12-07 01:45:37 PM  
Most obscure Python reference I have ever seen here. Kudos to submitter for making it work. Very funny.
 
2005-12-07 01:46:30 PM  
Can't have the common people understanding Art. Gotta keep it obscure and unavailable. Wouldn't want to make a connection to the people...ugh. The very thought makes me shudder.
 
2005-12-07 01:46:36 PM  
I thought good art created emotion, not head scratching.
 
2005-12-07 01:47:08 PM  
Shed, to boat, to shed?


 
2005-12-07 01:48:07 PM  
crazyfingers

Thats FARK in a nutshell for ya

Huh huh huh... you said "nut."

/Also "shell."
 
2005-12-07 01:49:22 PM  
"The Tate is run by a self-serving clique who hide behind secretiveness," said Charles Thomson, co-founder of the Stuckist movement.

The first time I read that, I thought it said "the Suckiest movement". Had to do a double take.
 
2005-12-07 01:52:32 PM  
"Simon Starling won the coveted 25,000-pound prize..."

That's one heavy prize.
 
2005-12-07 01:52:47 PM  
Summerjack: "Most obscure Python reference I have ever seen here."

New to Fark, then? ;)
 
2005-12-07 01:54:37 PM  
but is it art?

/no
//resolutely, no
 
2005-12-07 01:55:35 PM  
"In 1995 Damien Hirst won with a pickled sheep."

/speechless
//and afraid of the GIS
 
2005-12-07 01:57:44 PM  
wow. a pickled sheep. not that bad a picture, it's still furry, not skinned, but weird.
 
2005-12-07 01:58:51 PM  
Gillian of bum paintings fame (pops)
(NSFW-but it's art!)


/won't someone please think of the buttocks?
 
2005-12-07 02:03:59 PM  
"Simon Starling won the coveted 25,000-pound prize..."
That's one heavy prize.

That would be absolutely magnificent if they gave them a huge boulder or something when they were expecting cash. It would be the museums form of "expression". They could take a pic of the "artists" face when it is presented, frame it and hang it up as "art".

/I'm in a "sarcastic quotey" mood today
 
2005-12-07 02:04:07 PM  
Can't have the common people understanding Art. Gotta keep it obscure and unavailable. Wouldn't want to make a connection to the people...ugh. The very thought makes me shudder.

What's obscure and unavailable about the shed? If anything it's boring because the concept is so simple and, frankly, predictable in this postmodern age (ooh, it's a shed that you turned into a boat and back again, what an insightful comment on the ephemeral, dislocated world in which we live). The problem with this kind of art is that it eschews formalism for the sake of making "shocking" sociopolitical commentary. But after the usually heavy-handed point is conveyed it rarely has any lasting aesthetic value to recommend it. The part in the article about the guy who tried to submit a homeless steel worker says it all.

That having been said, I've got nothing against this guy or the larger scene to which he belongs. Evidently a lot of people are excited by this stuff and that's great, it's just not my cup of tea.
 
2005-12-07 02:05:51 PM  
summerjack
Most obscure Python reference I have ever seen here.

Next year, I shall keep with the nautical theme and scoop the Turner Prize for myself.

/going to fill a hovercraft with eels
 
2005-12-07 02:16:00 PM  
Most obscure Python reference I have ever seen here.

Nah, just a few days ago the poetry below was all the rage. It's even relevant here:

Can I have fifty pounds to mend the shed?
I'm right on my uppers.
I can pay you back
When this postal order comes from Australia.
Honestly.
Hope the bladder trouble's getting better.
Love, Ewan.
 
2005-12-07 02:24:32 PM  
Are there any obscure Python references anymore?
I get them all. But then again, in Jr.High I formed
The Royal Academy of Advanced Pythonology
 
2005-12-07 02:25:55 PM  
Beating off a hummingbird. Sounds...tedious.

/Eric the Hummingbird.
 
2005-12-07 02:37:11 PM  
GoldSpider [TotalFark]
"Simon Starling won the coveted 25,000-pound prize..."
That's one heavy prize.

but not as heavy as a 16 ton weight
 
2005-12-07 02:44:25 PM  
"I don't know what the FARK you just said lil kid, but you reached out, and touched a brotha's heart" - Pumpkin Escobar
 
2005-12-07 02:49:39 PM  
Get your own arts programme, ya fairy.
 
2005-12-07 02:55:50 PM  
ART = FRAUD

Both Messrs. Hefner and Guccione do more insightful and artistic work with that part of the anatomy than Gillian Carnegie and they even go so far as to use other peoples bums, not just their own, thank heavens. As for shedboatshed it is so derivative as to be a blatant plagiarism of robotjetplanerobot of Transformers fame.
 
2005-12-07 03:27:15 PM  
show me a headline linking the cia to the nefarious teddy salad, and THAT will be the most obscure python reference available.
 
2005-12-07 04:10:02 PM  
Get your own arts programme, ya fairy

I love that line. Cleese delivers it perfectly.
 
2005-12-07 04:28:01 PM  
Raccoon Dog: Gillian of bum paintings fame (pops)
(NSFW-but it's art!)

/won't someone please think of the buttocks?



DAYUM! I mailed a bunch of artistic photos of my butt to someone once and got a visit from the police (no charges). I guess you've gotta be an artsy chick to get awards for that kind of stuff.

/Please fondle my bum?
 
2005-12-07 06:00:32 PM  
Greatest.........headline...........ever.
 
2005-12-07 06:01:51 PM  
Here here, well spoken submitter.
 
2005-12-07 06:17:17 PM  
Where where?
 
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