There was Dasher, and Dancer, and Prancer..

Suicide Club?

The carcasses were given to passers-by for butchering.

You'd think they'd be ground meat by then.

It was a normal (for fark) story until that last line.


"OH WHAT?!"

"*Pfft* Posers!"

Durendal

That was pucking funny

I like the "fun punch" method better.

doe!

Reverend J:

The carcasses were given to passers-by for butchering.

You'd think they'd be ground meat by then.

Bashed like that, that's all they'd be good for, but good still.

They stole my idea!

Sought for questioning

/Thanks ImageShack

Reverend J: You'd think they'd be ground meat by then.

Bravo! I think we have a winner!

RockIsDead

Reverend J:

The carcasses were given to passers-by for butchering.

You'd think they'd be ground meat by then.

Bashed like that, that's all they'd be good for, but good still.

Let's not forget venison sausages. A great way to hide unpalatable meat, as well as road gravel.

/vegetarian

Can we lay off redneck WV jokes on this one please. You're probably looking at us in disbelief saying "What? The rednecks took the carcasses home to butcher and eat them? Sick."

Well I bet they are wondering "Wow, you city folk buy your meat grinded into a discombobulated pulp and shrink wrapped by who knows what kind of filthy hands in a grocery store freezer cabinet??"


/did my best to defend the Motherland
/from WV (obviously)

"Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled and said, with a twinkle in his eye,
'Merry Christmas to all, Now you're all gonna die!'

The night Santa went crazy,
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he was gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddie Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and barbecued Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said, 'It tastes just like chicken!'

The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin' in reindeer guts

There's the National Guard and the F. B. I.
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy

Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doing time
In a federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears
He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years
But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Claus, she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights

They're talkin 'bout the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped

Wo, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in his brain"

- Weird Al Yankovic, "The Night Santa Went Crazy"

Deerwined!

That's why they're on the bottom of the food chain folks.

deerz is teh yummy

Only in West Va. Where passersby see a bloody smashed deer on the sidewalk and ask the city maintenance guy about to shovel it into a garbage bag - "Hey! Ya'll gonna eat that? 'Cuz if'n you ain't I'll take it"


/hmmmm, pre tenderized smashed deer...

I hear President Bush did this. Just like 9/11.

\poke the bear cage and run

I blame television.
You know those innocent creatures were doomed the moment they watched rudolph and tried to imitate his moves.

We need stricter controls on television! It's corrupting the minds of our fragile wildlife!

Man. This would have been fun to watch.

Five deers a leapin, four calling birds, three french hens....

Caly

-They probably found some hillbilly's meth stash in the woods and nibbled on it. Thought they could fly...

For the record...

The whole lemmings story about them running off a cliff and all that? Yeah, that is bullshiat. It might as well be a story from when Katrina hit New Orleans. Lemmings don't run off cliffs.

"The carcasses were given to passers-by for butchering."

Wtf? ...

Sometimes there just isn't a camera around when one is desperatly needed. And yet, somehow, the oppoiste is true whenever one is not needed.

/Did that make sense?
//Bedtime.

Huh. The cops arrived after the "suicide."

That is definitely strange.

Yet more proof we need a West Virginia tag.
/every state should have one actually
//then we could keep score
///still thinks florida would win
////especilly if they count the ballots

no pics????

deers run a quarter mile over fences if I just step onto the yard. And to be frank you can obviously only see the street if you're at the edge of the parking garage anyway, so a car heading toward them is all they need.

poor things

/I didn't know he hunted for venison a la Nooge, but there needs to be a Donovan revival sometime. He wasn't a good friend of Dylan, Beatles, Zep for no reason. He was that good, damn.

//Listening to Riki Tiki Tavi

Maybe the deer couldn't see what was on the other side of the last wall they leaped. Probably thought there was just more flat garage "ground" on the other side.

Or maybe one of them just jumped and the others naturally followed. Deer are rather stupid; I suspect the correct cervine answer to "If four of your friends jumped off a cliff, would you too? is "yes".

You know the economy sucks when deer start committing suicide.

//No jobs for the deer
//Not unionized by the Santa's Helpers Union (SHU)

TFA was a somber case of 'animals encroached upon the domain of man, and were confused to death'.

All up until that last line.

Part of me wants to say, 'Well, if you really are going to eat that, then please, by all means, make some light come from this tragedy in the form of tasty deer meat-by-products. I hear that jerked venison is yummy when prepared correctly.'

The other part of me says 'Ah. West Virgina. Why do I suddenly doubt these animals' death was an 'unfortuneate accident'?

Last seen waddling away in a straight line.

This is further proof that females don't know how to park!

hexane


*golf clap*

Hmm I was leaning between these posts:

1.)The carcasses were given to passers-by for butchering because people in WV are always ready for street meat.

2.)Gravitowned!!!!

And last but not least...

3.)I work for the deer.
So I am really getting a kick out of most of these replies.
Some of you guys are very good at making it sound like you know what you are talking about.
But trust me.... You don't.
I think you just want to make yourself sound smart, when in reality you dont know what you are talking about.
This is how bad info gets passed around.
If you dont know about the topic....Dont make yourself sound like you do.
Cuz some Farkers belive anything they hear.

//OK someone needs to go to bed

paticularist eleven (depending on the translator) unavailable for comment as well..

"The carcasses were given to passers-by for butchering."

That should have been my senior quote. Man, why wasn't that the tagline for the article.

The leader probably just received a John Deere letter.

Car!!

You people are talking like "OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY, WOULD ACTUALLY WANT THAT MEAT TO FEED THEIR FAMILIES?"
Well yes, actually...as long as it died recently so the meat would not be spoiled. So many morons out there saying, they would never eat it or pick out the road gravel. Well guess what, outside of your little shrink wrapped meat world,some animals actually do eat things from the woods, and not each other's brain matter that was ground up from their mothers remains at the ole' cattle farm. And as for all you veggies out there, go eat some lettuce and stop whining,I hope your car is the one that gets totaled when that deer hunt that you protested gets canceled, and there are too many now running thru that million dollar neighborhood that you live in. I'll be waiting nearby to ask the officer politely if anyone wanted the carcass...