Welcome to New Jersey.

DAMN!

This shiat happened less than 5 miles from my house!
Not as funny to me as it seems to be for other folks. And her house is MILES from a major highway, too. It's not the usual case of get-off-the-highway-and-grab-the-first-thing-you-see. Hopefully they just got lost, which makes sense considering their obvious lack of kidnapping skillz.

It looks like an effort was made to clean this monstorsity up....how about now changing the 'women' to 'woman'...as in 'whooooooa, Man!'

/Mike Myers fan
//"So I Married an Axe Murderer" = one of the best comedies in the '90s

Northernexposed

Awesome. I immediatly heard those first few notes...

I suck at spelling too.

/moving out of my glass house
//putting down the rocks too

You know, I just woke up, and what's scary is that the first time I read the headline, it made perfect sense and described the article well. Apparently my brain autocorrected the mistakes.

Now I look at it again and I have no idea what the fark the submitter is trying to say.

"Television. Television is the explanation for this - you see this in bad television."

I only hope that if she was buried at the beach she didn't come away with deadly condition, "sand in the vagina".

asmodeus224
So they kidnap a man's wife and then they expect him to be like 'Oh please please give her back! I will give anything!"? I am guessing these guys have never been married.

Word. I'd be all like "you keep her for a while, I could use a break".

I thought the headline was pretty decent. My gramer ain't so god so I empathis wth submater.

She Got away??

Submitter could have just referenced FARGO with a clever quote but in his/her haste....well, WTF... the husband did it.

I just had to add this one

"I was listening to Titannica's Try Suicide when I tried Suicide.

Diogenes -

I'm from Basking Ridge. I'm pretty sure the victim lives on the same road as my boss's brother, too.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.

I submitted this with a less coherent headline.

that would be unpossible

T, we got a problem.

Paulie, dont ruin those peppered eggs I just ate, thats all Im sayin

...

...

Da fuk. (Sigh) What is it?

It was the Mafucci thing. We fukked up.

There goes my peppered eggs. shiat, what happened?

quella femmina stup-

She got away, Ton.

She Wat?

Me an Fur' thought we ad her buried, but that dumb c*nt got away and ran to the police.

muuuthhhafuuk, Paulie. How bad is this?

My guy on the inside says the cops got those mooleys we outsourced on the phone. Muddafukkers pretty much bent down and pointed to der ass wit the information they gave, dos coksukkas.

...

He gave the names, dates, everythin-

Names?

Ton, we shoulda neva gone to these muli-

HOW THE FUK COULD THEY HAVE FUKKED THIS U-

Ton, I-

NAW, FUK THAT! This muthafukkin Manucci thing was a fukkinside venture er some small-time sh*t! Now you tell me we could get heat cause some fukkin-patriot-american landscaper didn pay his collections?


...

That strunz personal trainer she has on the side, he left the garage open?

Yeah, Ton, he did his part.

Muddafukker. A botched kidnapping, and I still have to pay his spandex-ass.

I hear ya, T. On all a dis. I realize I fukked up, but whatever you want me to do, lemme know, Im all ears.

Alright.alright, I want you to take care of this. You hear me?

T-

Enuff with that T sh*t. You did the same thing with that friggin Russian, wherever the fuk. This goes down, or not, depends on you. Got it? Get off your ass, take care of that crew, Paulie. Whatever. You. Need. To. Do. ear me?

sure thing T.

See what happens when you outsource? Now, if we have to do it right, we have to do it ourselves. But if we do that, the fukkin Fed is there to pick da bones. Fuk this.

oh my god

This is ridiculous. Charles Dickens could have written a more concise headline than the submitter.

DO NOT WANT

Was Marge involved?

wazzamatta wif yaz en d' headline-i gaht it!


yugoslavia!

/ You can't have a kidnapping without a hostage.