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(Starpulse News)   50 Cent to create a line of condoms and a vibrator shaped like himself to compliment those children's books of his   (starpulse.com) divider line 143
    More: Scary  
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12665 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Nov 2005 at 11:38 AM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-11-29 02:34:11 PM  
We need to start a trend of refusing to call ego-centric entertainers by their made up names. He's not 50 Cent, he's Curtis Jackson. He's not Diddy, he's Sean Combs. He's not Sting, he's Gordon Sumner. He's not Bono, he's Paul Hewson. She's not Lil' Kim, she's Kimberly Jones. She's not Bjork, shes....wait, what do you mean thats her real name?

Anyway, enough with this shiat people. Go with what your momma gave you.
 
2005-11-29 02:35:36 PM  
And Ether was alright.. but Superugly and Takeover are superior hobbits.
 
2005-11-29 02:36:21 PM  
no point in shooting him - they'd make it look like he was "assasinated". Someone just needs to throw him into a pit full of alligators.
 
2005-11-29 02:36:21 PM  
And lastly...

Jay Z banged Nas' baby mama.

Jay Z FTW.
 
2005-11-29 02:37:09 PM  
Heh, 50 Cent condoms. What, they have like, nine holes in them?
 
2005-11-29 02:39:09 PM  
kitten_b

"...The BBC"

I feel flattered and a little objectified.

50 ss not a very impressive rapper. I can't remember ever hearing any rhymes I thought were particularly clever/fun/funny/interesting. I guess "I love you like a fat kid loves cake" was amusing, but that was only because a close friend of mine had been saying "I love you like a ____ kid loves _____" for a good year prior to the song being released.
 
2005-11-29 02:41:17 PM  
So now that I am in a much lower tax bracket than him, would it be acceptable for me to jack him for all his dollars and his ride like he once did?
And why is it always rappers that come up with these lame ass names for themselves? If I met any of them I would only call them by their real name. "Hi Curtis, nice to meet you".

/I think that's considered disrespect in the ghetto
//or something
 
2005-11-29 02:42:12 PM  
Smookyfufu

Ether won it? Jay Z got his whole audience to diss Nas on his MTV unplugged show.

You don't understand. Hot 97 the official hip-hop station where hip-hop was born and lives had an official poll to decide who officially won. Officially, it was Nas, although of course there are some die-hard Jay-Z fans who will try to say otherwise. Dispute Hot 97 as the "official" station as you want, but that is THE hip hop station for the area where both those rappers live.

I'm not giving an opinion here... Nas won, it's a fact. My personal opinion is that Ether was hotter, but my opinion is irrelevant to our discussion.
 
2005-11-29 02:45:53 PM  
I just can't believe I'm seeing smooky post this far down into a thread for a mainpage article!
 
2005-11-29 02:57:56 PM  
Same here. Actually, his nemesis Ja dropped off into mainstream mediocrity even faster. Street made first CD, garbage after that.

Yup. And his A&R on his first record was Jay-Z. Then Ja let Irv Gotti convince him that R&B duets (rap and bullshiat) were going to be all the rage. And they were... for 15 whole minutes.

Now Jay-Z is the el Presidente of Def Jam. Funny how life works.
 
2005-11-29 02:58:53 PM  
So the little prick is going to make an ever smaller prick?

Alright, 50 is a tool, but he's definitely not "little." He's like a huge slab of granite.
 
2005-11-29 03:01:40 PM  
2005-11-29 02:42:12 PM uidzero

Living in NYC all my life, i'm well aware of Hot 97. However, if some dude bangs your baby mama, you lost. I didn't call in. In fact, I think we should have a more official poll of who really won. Put Superugly and Ether up on a website, i'll even host. Jay Z will win.

Nas is wack.
 
2005-11-29 03:02:21 PM  
This one's for Implicit Frustration.
http://www.randomhouse.com/doubleday/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780385510028

No wonder you are frustrated, you got a hometown with the words "chick" and "pee" in it ;) reppin' the 508, aren'tcha?

i think any guy who sincerely rapped "I love you like a fat kid loves cake" MUST be harder than Ja Rule.

perhaps DMX>Ja+50

/anyone?
 
2005-11-29 03:03:29 PM  
u cant talk about good artists without mentioning r kelly
 
2005-11-29 03:05:49 PM  
[image from gry-online.pl too old to be available]
"I'm gangSTA!"
 
2005-11-29 03:06:51 PM  
To hell with all this east coast, Jay Z / Nas bullshiat...

...Dirty South's where it's at.

All hail Devin The Dude.
 
2005-11-29 03:06:56 PM  
uidzero
I don't want to start a flame war, but I'd like to respectfully submit that you don't have a clue what happened between Jay and Nas if you think Nas got tore up. Ether ended it, and Nas even gave him a few slaps in songs afterwards because he had proved dominance.

After Super Ugly and Ether were released, Flex ran a call-in vote for NYC, and they voted Nas.



Actually Super Ugly was a stupid freestyle like Nas' stupid freestyle he dropped ("H to the izzo M to the izzo") BEFORE Jay-Z crushed him with "Takeover." "Ether" was a worthy effort, but it was basically a "Take Money" remix. He spit a lot of garbage and used key words to try to get the black population of NYC to turn on Jay ("AIDS," "gay," etc.) I'll agree that Jay should NOT have released Super Ugly, but, break it down...

Not a damn thing Nas said about Jay was true. Damn near everything Jay said about Nas was true (including effing his wife and Nas being a "wankster.") Still Jay has more fans, and obviously more money. Then there is the fact that Jay is President of a record label and Nas is still struggling to sell a million records every two years.

Yeah, Nas "won."
 
2005-11-29 03:11:42 PM  
Smookyfufu

Living in NYC all my life, i'm well aware of Hot 97. However, if some dude bangs your baby mama, you lost. I didn't call in. In fact, I think we should have a more official poll of who really won. Put Superugly and Ether up on a website, i'll even host. Jay Z will win.

Nas is wack.


I don't know what sort of men YOU hang out with, but where I'm from, if you fark a chick after I did... -I- won.
 
2005-11-29 03:15:24 PM  
I actually like 50 Cent. I don't think he's the greatest rapper (or anywhere close) but I respect the fact that he's come a long way from selling crack on the streets. He's also getting better with his rhymes, albeit on relatively the same subject matter.

Anyway, gangsta rap is all about selling out to make a buck, because it's infinitely preferable to not selling out and still being poor and living on the streets, hustling. Only middle class intellectual 'artistes' care whether they've "sold out" or not: if you actually grew up poor, the temptation to sell out is too great because you don't ever want to end up back where you came from.

Anyway, like the Clash said:

Every cheap hood strikes a bargain with the
World
And ends up making payments on a sofa or a girl
Love n hate tattooed across the knuckles of his hands
The hands that slap his kids around cause they dont understand

How death or glory becomes just another story
How death or glory becomes just another story
n every gimmick hungry yob digging gold from rock n roll
Grabs the mike to tell us hell die before hes sold
But I believe in this-and its been tested by research
That he who farks nun will later join the church

From every dingy basement on every dingy street
I hear every dragging handclap over every dragging beat
Thats just the beat of time-the beat that must go on
If you been trying for years-then we already heard your song
 
2005-11-29 03:17:42 PM  
See what I mean about Jay fans? This was a hip hop battle. Hip hop. Battle. The rappers battle with rhymes, and the crowd decided the victor. NYC, the crowd, decided Nas was the victor. Nothing else is pertinent. Not money, not sex, not album sales, not who any individual thinks was better, not whose last album was better, nor anything else. Nas won, and I'm not saying that because I like Nas more... I don't. Jay lost.


TraeHova
Actually Super Ugly was a stupid freestyle like Nas' stupid freestyle he dropped ("H to the izzo M to the izzo") BEFORE Jay-Z crushed him with "Takeover." "Ether" was a worthy effort, but it was basically a "Take Money" remix. He spit a lot of garbage and used key words to try to get the black population of NYC to turn on Jay ("AIDS," "gay," etc.) I'll agree that Jay should NOT have released Super Ugly, but, break it down...

Not a damn thing Nas said about Jay was true. Damn near everything Jay said about Nas was true (including effing his wife and Nas being a "wankster.") Still Jay has more fans, and obviously more money. Then there is the fact that Jay is President of a record label and Nas is still struggling to sell a million records every two years.

Yeah, Nas "won."
 
2005-11-29 03:30:12 PM  
uidzero
See what I mean about Jay fans? This was a hip hop battle. Hip hop. Battle. The rappers battle with rhymes, and the crowd decided the victor. NYC, the crowd, decided Nas was the victor. Nothing else is pertinent. Not money, not sex, not album sales, not who any individual thinks was better, not whose last album was better, nor anything else. Nas won, and I'm not saying that because I like Nas more... I don't. Jay lost.

Tell yourself whatever makes you sleep well tonight. It was a studio recorded (lie-ridden) song over an original beat versus a freestyle (that sucked) over jacked beats. Takeover v. Ether is a much better comparison. But THAT wasn't "voted on," Survivor-style (which is the American way passed down by the Christian Lord).

/No one gives a shiat about Flex
//Hot 97 is overrated and played the eff out
///NAS SAID SO!!!
////Now you know...
 
2005-11-29 03:30:55 PM  
The fact that this Jay-Z vs Nas thread has gone on this long is making me laugh and laugh and laugh!

N
O
B
O
D
Y

C
A
R
E
S

B
U
T

Y
O
U
!
!
!
 
2005-11-29 03:31:40 PM  
I was gonna say that I hoped 50 Cent would get killed in a drive-by like that fat guy or Tupac, but then I'd have to see some other no-talent assclown on every awards show for the next 2 years doing some half-assed, ripped-off "tribute" to him, too.

So maybe we can all get lucky and 50 will just choke on a ham sammich like Mama Cass.

D'oh, wait...
 
2005-11-29 03:44:25 PM  
LMAO! What mdbirt said! Wouldn't it be deliciously ironic and hilarious if only gay men bought this product?
Next up: Fiddy's line of manscaping and men's hair care products!
 
2005-11-29 03:46:10 PM  
Tell yourself whatever makes you sleep well tonight. It was a studio recorded (lie-ridden) song over an original beat versus a freestyle (that sucked) over jacked beats. Takeover v. Ether is a much better comparison. But THAT wasn't "voted on," Survivor-style (which is the American way passed down by the Christian Lord).

What? So I can sleep at night? You're a bit strange. At any rate, Jay dropped takeover, and Nas's RESPONSE to that was Ether. Jay responded with Super-Ugly, which he dropped just a day or two before Nas's new album. Each rapper was trying to outdo each other in each response. Jay made super ugly to go against ether. It got really heated and publicly decided when Jay dropped Super Ugly, so that was his contribution when the battle happened and was decided. You can say that it might have went another way if he had used Takeover, but that's pretty much just playing "What If" instead of looking at what happened. Jay lost, it's a fact. You can say he's a better rapper, has more albums etc, whatever else you'd like, but when it comes to Jay-Z and Nas's battle... Nas won. It's a fact, not opinion... move along now.
 
2005-11-29 04:08:32 PM  
Someone mentioned earlier about the lack of a "G-Unit" joke, and I don't believe that i saw one after browsing the rest, so...

G-unit
*snicker*
 
2005-11-29 04:09:23 PM  
please for the love of god someone kill him already... That or make it so that anyone who touches his "products" dies a sudden death so that he loses his popularity.

I mean, first the (bad) movie, and then a M rated video game (which sucks) that he says is ment for kids, and now this?
 
2005-11-29 04:14:06 PM  
kitten_b

I'm not quite interested enough in the subject to read an entire book about black penises, but the fact that it exists is interesting in its own right.

I'm about an hour west of the 508. 413. Nobody knows we exist out here. We have the Basketball Hall of Hame and.. uh... nothing.

As far as Ja+50 v. DMX, DMX raps about shooting people and sh*tting on their chests and whatnot, but he's got asthma. My little sister has asthma. Asthma is not hard.
 
2005-11-29 04:19:13 PM  
2005-11-29 03:11:42 PM uidzero


I don't know what sort of men YOU hang out with, but where I'm from, if you fark a chick after I did... -I- won.


Heh.

To be fair, Jay did steal Tupac's line about Nas.
 
2005-11-29 04:23:25 PM  
Uidzero:

"Alexio, your ranting only shows your denial of the God-Warrior within. May I suggest laying off the self-hypnosis for a while? Perhaps you should go out to some brewery and make eye contact with the local serving wench, then ruminate about how you would have had her if you had wanted to..."

-GK
 
2005-11-29 04:53:07 PM  
Aw, rid.
 
2005-11-29 05:56:14 PM  
Wonder if his "G-Unit" will come complete with bullet hole(s)...
 
2005-11-29 06:16:15 PM  
he looks like donkey kong with a do rag.
 
2005-11-29 06:27:46 PM  
There's no irony at all. 50 Cent is an out and out homosexual. byroncrawford.com, in spite of the site's author's suspicious homophobia, documents it pretty well.

As for DMX, Implicit Frustration, no, asthma is not hard. I assume your little sister has skin as well. Is skin not hard? Asthma is not a crippling affliction by itself. That said I have been taking a class with his former bodyguard and it's pretty obvious, judging from that and his last album (the nearly-unheard of Here We Go Again that the guy is pretty much on crack 24 hours a day and unlikely to produce anything new. Not that he was all that original before. Still, in a fight, one on one, all three considered, my money would still be on DMX at this point.

Smookyfufu made a good point though. How is it that Ja Rule was brought down by 50 and his team of clowns? Christ, McGriff nearly did his work for him and he gets dragged into a he said she said battle of calling each other "snitches" and "faggots?" Truly weak stuff there.
 
2005-11-29 08:47:11 PM  
Whatever.

[image from usemenow.com too old to be available]

This news would be 1000 times more awesome if you replaced the words "50 Cent" with "Devastatin' Dave."
 
2005-11-29 10:36:36 PM  
Brennan-Monster

yeah, I was just messing around with the asthma thing. I used to actually be pretty impressed that he could run around barking and what have you and not have his lungs collapse every performance. Sort of a shame about the drugs if that's what's preventing him from putting out decent material.
 
2005-11-29 10:42:19 PM  
[image from orlyowl.com too old to be available]
 
2005-11-30 02:41:54 AM  
Ugh, I can't believe that anyone looks up to that trash. He's one of the worst examples of a human being out there. A former drug dealer/gang banger that is now a rapper (like a lot of the others)... shouldn't be rewarded with more cash, so they can go nuts and be even worse.
 
2005-11-30 06:13:47 AM  
Thank you, no.

I prefer my Crank not be ghetto fabulous.
 
2005-11-30 11:57:43 AM  
Who wants to bet the condom will be 3 sizes bigger than he actually is?
 
2005-11-30 02:02:35 PM  
50 is on a mission to become richer. Music has been his stepping stone toward that goal. By branching out into different business aspects, he will succeed because he is focused.
 
2005-11-30 04:45:47 PM  
First off, Jay-Z farked Nas' baby mommma, who was a groupie, Nas wasn't even going out with her. Second, Jay only had one verse on Takeover. Takeover was a better song, but the best parts were about Prodigy. The Nas verse was added in to the album version because Jay-Z had said some shiat at Summer Jam and Nas came out with "H to the Izzo, M to the Izzo" which was good. THEN Jay-Z came out with Takeover the last verse and then Nas murdered him on Ether. The last verse was just crucial. Then Jay came out with Super Ugly, but it was over. When a rapper stops a beef because "his momma told him too", he got beat.

"Y'all n*ggas deal with emotions like biatches
What's sad is I love you 'cause you're my brother
You traded your soul for riches
My child, I've watched you grow up to be famous
And now I smile like a proud dad, watchin his only son that made it
You seem to be only concerned with dissin women
Were you abused as a child, scared to smile, they called you ugly?
Well life is harsh, hug me, don't reject me
Or make records to disrespect me, blatent or indirectly
In '88 you was gettin chased through your buildin
Callin my crib and I ain't even give you my numbers
All I did was give you a style for you to run with
Smilin in my face, glad to break bread with the god
Wearin Jaz chains, no tecs, no cash, no cars
No jail bars Jigga, no pies, no case
Just Hawaiian shirts, hangin with little Chase
You a fan, a phony, a fake, a p*ssy, a Stan
I still whip your ass, you thirty-six in a karate class
You Tae-bo hoe, tryna' work it out, you tryna' get brolic?
Ask me if I'm tryna' kick knowledge
Nah, I'm tryna' kick the shiat you need to learn though
That ether, that shiat that make your soul burn slow (burn slow)
Is he Dame Diddy, Dame Daddy or Dame Dummy?
Oh, I get it, you Biggie and he's Puffy
Rockerfeller died of AIDS, that was the end of his chapter
And that's the guy y'all chose to name your company after?
Put it together, I rock hoes, y'all rock fellas
And now y'all try to take my spot, fellas?
Philly's hot rock fellas, put you in a dry spot, fellas
In a pine box with nine shots from my glock, fellas
Foxy got you hot 'cause you kept your face in her puss
What you think, you gettin girls now 'cause of your looks?
Ne-gro please
You no mustache havin, with whiskers like a rat
Compared to Beans you wack
And your man stabbed Un and made you take the blame
You ass, went from Jaz to hangin with Kane, to Irv, to Big
And, Eminem murdered you on your own shiat
You a d*ck-ridin f*ggot, you love the attention
Queens n*ggas run you n*ggas, ask Russell Simmons
Ha, R-O-C get gunned up and clapped quick
J.J. Evans get gunned up and clapped quick
Your whole damn record label gunned up and clapped quick
Sean Carter to Jay-Z, damn you on Jaz d*ck
So little shorty's gettin gunned up and clapped quick
How much of Biggie's rhymes is gon' come out your fat lips?
Wanted to be on every last one of my classics
You pop shiat, apologize, n*gga, just ask, Kiss.

How is that not crucial? JJ Evans?
 
2005-11-30 08:44:51 PM  
http://mouldyourman.com (pop)

/you can be just like fitty
//must be comftable with your peepee
 
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