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(ABC News)   Hot liquid asphalt hits the river after barge accident   ( divider line
    More: Scary  
•       •       •

12668 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Nov 2005 at 1:11 PM (12 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

53 Comments     (+0 »)

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2005-11-28 01:11:49 PM  
I wonder what will happen now that the oil has hit the asphalt.
2005-11-28 01:13:02 PM  
A lot of hot, steamy, gooey goodness.
2005-11-28 01:13:17 PM  
What a trashjedy.
2005-11-28 01:13:24 PM  
Too much Budweiser?
2005-11-28 01:14:24 PM  
Well that's the new road built.
2005-11-28 01:15:22 PM  
I was wondering when the city would get around to paving the river.
2005-11-28 01:15:45 PM  
ASHphalt, huh? Good one, you almost got me. There is no such thing.
2005-11-28 01:16:00 PM  
But whose phalt is it?
2005-11-28 01:16:03 PM  
Oh, the new Dave Matthews Band release.
2005-11-28 01:16:14 PM  
Dirty Sanchez?
2005-11-28 01:16:25 PM  
"Hot When Heated"
2005-11-28 01:16:33 PM  
"A barge filled with more than 1 million gallons of hot liquid asphalt ran aground Monday morning, leaking its load into the James River..."

hehehe they said leaking its load
/premature ejaculation?
2005-11-28 01:16:36 PM  
Oh, goody. Now that river will be only a tiny bit more polluted than the Potomac.
2005-11-28 01:17:26 PM  
did they need to put the driver of the tugboats name and hometown in the article????
2005-11-28 01:17:37 PM  
your dad leaked his load into james's river
2005-11-28 01:17:54 PM  
In other news, a new 8-lane highway was constructed through downtown Richmond today, greatly relieving traffic congestion.
2005-11-28 01:19:02 PM  
The city will have trouble when the asphalt hits the river.
2005-11-28 01:19:13 PM  
They're bound to be in trouble when the asphalt hits the anus.
2005-11-28 01:19:38 PM  
were that to happen any number of other places ... milwaukee, for instance ... i think the water quality might actually improve !
2005-11-28 01:19:58 PM  
breakingdaniel: did they need to put the driver of the tugboats name and hometown in the article????

A better question would be, what's a tugboat doing pushing barges?
2005-11-28 01:20:47 PM  
"leaking its load"
I feel another fark cliche in the making.
2005-11-28 01:22:14 PM  
1,000,000 US gallons = 3,785.4118 cubic meters.
2005-11-28 01:23:20 PM  
It's bound to be trouble when the anus hits the asphalt.
2005-11-28 01:24:07 PM  

Get a WalMart security guard to hold a guy against it before it cools.
2005-11-28 01:24:15 PM  
"I see what you did there..."

[image from too old to be available]
2005-11-28 01:25:18 PM  
Oh, and nice work Fedaykin.
2005-11-28 01:26:36 PM  
I don't get it. I drive for a living and there is only one rule when on the road- DON'T HIT ANYTHING! You'd think carying a load like that a little more care would be taken when piloting around. It's not like there are speed limits on a river. You can go as slow as you want, as long as the current isn't ripping along.

/end rant
2005-11-28 01:28:12 PM  
Can someone please explain this absurd a*us obsession?

What are you lunatics talking about?

Is there some code for the gay Farkers to come out of the woodwork or something?
2005-11-28 01:33:24 PM  
"Is there some code for the gay Farkers to come out of the woodwork or something?"

Cliche spawned by a thread over drinking tea derived from poison ivy.
2005-11-28 01:33:37 PM  

No. Go read the original thread. Basically:

Q: what happens if I make tea from poison ivy?

A: you should be fine - inside of body cannot be harmed by poison ivy oils, which are the source of irritation. It only affects skin. There should be some trouble, however, when the oil hits the anus.
2005-11-28 01:36:57 PM  
Is there some code for the gay Farkers to come out of the woodwork or something?

Yes. It is "cornswalled"
2005-11-28 01:37:44 PM  
Godzilla gets a new roof?
2005-11-28 01:38:49 PM  
Captain Joseph J. Hazelwood unavailable for comment.
2005-11-28 01:44:17 PM  
So, what happens if I make tea from hot asphalt?
2005-11-28 01:44:30 PM  
gonna have to say the oil has definitely hit cornswalled's anus. Yessiree...

For you, a list.

It's near the bottom.
2005-11-28 01:44:56 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

You know, Scott. I've been a frickin' evil doctor for 30 frickin' years, OK? Cut me some "frickin'" slack. You forget Scott. We're in a volcano. We're surrounded by liquid hot magma.
2005-11-28 01:46:08 PM  

Is there some code for the gay Farkers to come out of the woodwork or something?

With a login that is awful close to corn-holed, I am surprised you had the guts to say that.
2005-11-28 02:02:21 PM  
Holy Crap! I was going to join in the harassment of Cornswalled till I clicked on his profile and saw that it's his last name. If that's for real I feel sorry for you man, you drew the short straw in the last name lottery didn't you.
2005-11-28 02:02:43 PM
2005-11-28 02:13:54 PM  
It could be worse. It could be hot cocoa sampler box hitting the river.
2005-11-28 02:21:31 PM  
I think the new fark cliche is cornswalled getting pw3nd.
2005-11-28 02:25:48 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2005-11-28 02:26:45 PM  
An even better gift than a hot cocoa sampler box is a read through Cornswalled's LiveJournal from his profile. Some of the best satire I've read in awhile.
2005-11-28 02:44:17 PM  
We believe in a completely Paved Earth.

Earth is cursed with trees, shrubs, grass, and scurrying creatures. With every breath We act to right this terrible wrong.

We believe in The Plan (tm). The Plan (tm) is the final word; it brings us the knowledge of the twin pleasures: Speed and Convenience.

We believe food should be enjoyed. "Nutrition" is an aberration of human nature. The juicy Burger and hearty Beer are Our sacrament.

We believe in the Depletion of scarce natural resources. Some see the vessel as half full; others see it as half-empty; We pour it out on the floor and laugh.

We believe in a sky roiling with Smog. The color blue should appear nowhere but the paint on Our HyperCars (tm).
2005-11-28 02:44:42 PM  

cornswalled is taking a beating in this forum!

I really wish I could be like jorg, though. His complete grasp of literary excellence is commendable.
2005-11-28 02:56:06 PM  
Methinks someone needs to make a "You've been cornswalled!" picture.

Sorry buddy, but after reading your livejournal? ::sigh::
2005-11-28 03:02:54 PM  
.....kiss my asphalt!

[image from too old to be available]
2005-11-28 03:07:54 PM  
Just a FYI, The basis of the Fark cliche "Oil meets the Anus" is absolutely ridiculous.

Poison Ivy and Poison Oak both can cause serious internal damage. You would have problems long before the oil hit the anus.
2005-11-28 03:10:24 PM  
I have been away for the weekend, and this headline has made me want to cancel watching football this evening with friends, and "go see" the girl I started seeing recently.

/has pr0n on the brain
2005-11-28 03:42:04 PM  
Pave the Whales!
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