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(AV Web)   Turkish warplanes scrambled to intercept, shoot down possible hostile airliner. Too bad they couldn't find it. Or coherently explain why not   (avweb.com) divider line 65
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10618 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Nov 2005 at 10:09 AM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2005-11-28 10:11:29 AM
Me to producer: It's just like "Top Gun." Except with little half-naked brown boys.
 
2005-11-28 10:11:43 AM
"With God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly"
 
2005-11-28 10:12:17 AM
Nice that they included a picture of the alleged airliner with the article.
 
2005-11-28 10:13:01 AM
orrinbloquy:

Me to producer: It's just like "Top Gun." Except with little half-naked brown boys.

Me to cops: "That's right officer, "o-r-r-i-n-b-l-o-q-u-y". Half-naked little boys, that's right. Brown ones."
 
2005-11-28 10:14:36 AM
Anyone else envision a Benny Hill-esque type performance from the Turkish aircraft?
 
2005-11-28 10:17:39 AM
Me to police: Wait! I was told this was how you got sponsored for TF!
 
2005-11-28 10:17:53 AM
 
2005-11-28 10:18:02 AM
Laugh all you want, the Turks own in Age of Empires III.
 
2005-11-28 10:18:04 AM
"This thing I believed..."

probably not obscure
 
2005-11-28 10:18:56 AM
`hostile airliner'?

Stewardess: `You want peanuts?! I'll give you f%$3in' peanuts - crammed right up your arse!!! Now sit down & buckle-up, tard!'

/has endured Air Canada
 
2005-11-28 10:19:51 AM
coherently explain why not

Oh, LASERs were involved?
 
2005-11-28 10:20:26 AM
Joey, have you ever been in a Turkish Warplane?
 
2005-11-28 10:24:05 AM
Everybody knows you get sleepy after .............

I got nothin
 
2005-11-28 10:26:22 AM
Great, just another thing to have cross my mind when flying across several countries. Oh well, at least if my airliner is eliminated via missile it will probably be over before I knew it was coming (a la the 1983 Soviet attack on the Korean airliner- there I think most of the passengers were asleep anyway).
 
2005-11-28 10:27:28 AM
Give 'em a break... It's only less than 4 days after Thanksgiving!
 
2005-11-28 10:29:06 AM
We're afraid of these nations? These scary Mid-East nations are why we've given up so many rights in the name of protection from terrorists?

Don't seem so scary to me!

Or maybe it's psych warfare...like all the friendly fire during the Iraq invasion

/You all sound like fat 8th graders arguing over which GIJoe guy culd beat up another.
//School Spirit?
 
2005-11-28 10:30:23 AM
"..then the war plane shoots it down."

If it's found of course.
 
2005-11-28 10:31:15 AM
Supervisor: Ask them if they want to report officially.
Air Traffic Controller: TWA 517, do you want to report a UFO? Over. [No response] TWA 517, do you want to report a UFO? Over.
TWA Pilot: Negative. We don't want to report.
Air Traffic Controller: AirEast 31, do you wish to report a UFO? Over.
AirEast Pilot: Negative. We don't want to report one of those either.
Air Traffic Controller: AirEast 31, do you wish to file a report of any kind to us?
AirEast Pilot: I wouldn't know what kind of report to file, Center.
Air Traffic Controller: AirEast 31, me neither. I'll try to track traffic and destination, over.


/first thing that came to mind
 
2005-11-28 10:32:06 AM
EnormousJuan:

We're afraid of these nations? These scary Mid-East nations are why we've given up so many rights in the name of protection from terrorists?

Ehm, ever since the cold war Turkey has been one of the most solid of America's allies and completely at odds with the entire Muslim world in almost every respect. They farked up the Khilafah, for one thing, and brutally subjugated the Arabs for another.

Turkey has never been viewed as a threat by America. Well, not since WWI.
 
2005-11-28 10:32:33 AM
Those passengers must've been scared shiatless not seeing those war planes about to shoot them down.
 
2005-11-28 10:34:29 AM
ryosen

What's that from?
 
2005-11-28 10:35:36 AM
morrisonsl - Ehm, ever since the cold war Turkey has been one of the most solid of America's allies and completely at odds with the entire Muslim world in almost every respect. They farked up the Khilafah, for one thing, and brutally subjugated the Arabs for another.

Turkey has never been viewed as a threat by America. Well, not since WWI.

Interesting..we keep our mid-east allies tooth-less.
 
2005-11-28 10:35:46 AM

mama's_tasty_foods-

Actually, the missile impact and severe turbulence caused by the aerodynamic shredding of aircraft would probably wake you up. On the plus side, you would probably pass out from oxygen deprivation. On the minus side, you might wake up before you impact once you have tumbled freely to an altitude with sufficient partial pressure of oxygen.

Have a nice flight.

 
2005-11-28 10:38:20 AM
"Surely, you can't be serious!"

/obligatory
//obvious?
///extra Monday slashies///
 
2005-11-28 10:39:15 AM
EnormousJuan: Interesting..we keep our mid-east allies tooth-less.

That's relative, to quote wikipedia (and this is excluding the nukes they had stationed there in the cold war):

The Turkish Armed forces, with a combined troop strength of 635,500 soldiers, is the second largest standing force in NATO after the United States.

The Turkish Army can deploy 90,000 to 100,000 men to conduct joint operations. The Turkish Army can conduct air assault operations with lift capability of 5 or 6 battalions at a time day and night.

Turkish Air Force, aside from US Air Force, has the highest number of F-16 aircraft in the world. Turkish Air Force can participate in exercises conducted overseas. With in-flight refueling capability, Turkish aircraft can join live exercises in central Europe and return to home bases in Turkey, and fly directly from Turkey to USA crossing the Atlantic Ocean.

Turkish Navy can participate in international operations and exercises beyond Mediterranean Sea. Submarines can individually navigate up to 15,000 nautical miles and return to home bases.
 
2005-11-28 10:41:47 AM
2005-11-28 10:35:46 AM Old_Chief_Scott [TotalFark]

Actually, the missile impact and severe turbulence caused by the aerodynamic shredding of aircraft would probably wake you up. On the plus side, you would probably pass out from oxygen deprivation. On the minus side, you might wake up before you impact once you have tumbled freely to an altitude with sufficient partial pressure of oxygen.

Have a nice flight.


Thanks for the science. Wouldn't I just asplode instantaneously?
 
2005-11-28 10:42:39 AM
FYI: GIS for "Turkish Bath" is NSFW.
 
2005-11-28 10:44:58 AM
mama's_tasty_foods: Thanks for the science. Wouldn't I just asplode instantaneously?

Actually, your insides will begin to slowly boil and burst out of your body cavities as you... nah, just kidding.
 
2005-11-28 10:46:33 AM
US made tech involved? Probably!
 
Mot
2005-11-28 10:50:05 AM
"We're afraid of these nations? These scary Mid-East nations are why we've given up so many rights in the name of protection from terrorists?"

What the fark are you talking about? Turkey is a democracy, not a "scary" police state. Quit [poorly] generalizing just because it's in the Middle East. Do you KNOW where Turkey's Army gets 90% of their military equipment? Take one wild farking guess, you ignorant twat.

P.S. The guy above me has your answer.
 
2005-11-28 10:50:52 AM
Scruffinator, you made my day. Love that game!

Germnans are better than the Ottomans in Age of Empires III.

Doppelsoldner!
 
2005-11-28 10:53:26 AM
Stupid Otto pilot was on the fritz again

 
2005-11-28 10:54:02 AM
"Thanks for the science. Wouldn't I just asplode instantaneously?"

Nope. There is no need for a warhead so large as to blast the entire plane to bits, and to have one would make the weapon much larger (so you could carry fewer) and slower. Thus, the warheads are as small as can be and still be certain to do the job.

The A to A missile would take out an engine and surrounding structure, like for instance a wing or tail, depending on where the engine was located. The plane would fall, likely without breaking up any more. You'd probably live all the way down.
Even if it did break up, it would be in a few big pieces, with similar results to most passengers.
 
2005-11-28 10:55:16 AM
Mad Scientist
FYI: GIS for "Turkish Bath" is NSFW.

Is that a good NSFW, or a bad NSFW?
 
2005-11-28 10:55:17 AM
Was it a "stealth" airliner?

 
2005-11-28 10:58:27 AM
They apparently didn't like the idea of ending up in a turkish prison.
 
2005-11-28 10:59:12 AM
ScottMpls: "Surely, you can't be serious!"

"Joey - have you ever been to a Turkish prison?"

/even more obvious
 
2005-11-28 11:02:09 AM
Stopper74

I think it's from Close Encounters of the Third Kind

Then again, I could be high.
 
2005-11-28 11:16:21 AM
The Turkish Army can conduct air assault operations with lift capability of 5 or 6 battalions at a time day and night.

Turks are pissed because of usa's involvement with the kurds. SH used to keep the kurds in check. Men HAVE to join the army (though if you are rich enough or connected enough you might get out of it) and they usually went to fight the kurds.
 
2005-11-28 11:24:16 AM
In other news, Turkey has an airforce.

/obligatory
 
2005-11-28 11:27:14 AM
Depending on how the plane were to break up upon initial impact, it's very likely that you wouldn't be alive or conscious afterward... there would be an instant massive deceleration, and unless you are restrained in some kind of safety harness and protected from flying debris, I think chances are good that you will be rendered unconscious
 
2005-11-28 11:28:17 AM
"How about a nice game of Chess?"

Matthew Brodderick wanted for questioning.
 
2005-11-28 11:33:43 AM
You can choose Sticky's comment:

When Turkeys have airplane only the terrorists will celebrate Thanksgiving.

or

I am thinking that was my connecting flight from O'Hare.

or

So much for leftovers.

/Stick a fork in me
 
2005-11-28 11:40:47 AM
Can't intercept an AIRLINER? Jeez, it's not like those things are evasive. They fly at a constant speed in a straight line.
 
2005-11-28 11:44:14 AM

mama's_tasty_foods-

Instantaneous asplosions are a Hollywood fiction. Anti-air missiles use relatively small warheads and rely on shrapnel to damage the target. The effect of windloading on the damaged airframe is what ends up destroying the aircraft. A hit on a wing might start a fire, or perhaps open a hole or two, and the airstream rips things apart from there.

Once this process starts, it's only a matter of time before you end up losing part of a wing, which causes assymetric lift and uncontrolled flight, which exacerbates the aircraft damage. You can be awake for almost all of it...

The more you know...

 
2005-11-28 11:59:47 AM
Turkey has airplanes?
 
2005-11-28 12:02:03 PM
It must have been the triptophan
 
2005-11-28 12:11:10 PM
So if I understand it correctly it is now safe to fly over turkey because they won't be able to get you even if you are in a plane the size of commercial airliner. Sweet.
 
Mot
2005-11-28 12:20:17 PM
"Turks are pissed because of usa's involvement with the kurds. SH used to keep the kurds in check. Men HAVE to join the army (though if you are rich enough or connected enough you might get out of it) and they usually went to fight the kurds."

Men have to do 12 months in the military, not necessarily the Army. Oh and, maybe you didn't know this, but many other countries also have compulsory military service, buddy. (Sweden, Israel, Belgium, Sweden, and Finland, to name a few)

Oh and no, no amount of money will keep you out of the military. It's a well known thing that many of Turkey's famous actors/comedians have been pulled up for military service when they're like 30 because they just never showed up (i.e Tarkan, Cem Yilmaz)...no amount of money will save you from military service.

And no, they usually don't "go to fight the Kurds" they are randomly stuck on a bases scattered around the country and USUALLY do things like random guard duty, drills and exercise, cleaning the base, serving their superiors tea and random b/s tasks.

Way to completely talk out of your ass.
 
Mot
2005-11-28 12:21:05 PM
"Turkey has airplanes?"

Yep, and more military strike helicopters than the US does.
 
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