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(MSNBC)   Behold the crappiest cars ever made   ( divider line
    More: Obvious  
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64728 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Nov 2005 at 10:29 AM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2005-11-27 05:00:04 PM  
Yeah, those H2's are great off road vehicles:


Have you considered a G35x? We love ours, all the advantages of a coupe with AWD. I know it's a sedan and all but you did say you were considering a WRX.
2005-11-27 05:00:18 PM  

Personally, my days of buying American cars are OVER. Finito! Das Ende!

My old neighbor was a metallurgist for the Allison Division of General Motors, and he laid out for me why American cars have gone from being the envy of the world to rolling piles of metallic shiat.

It's like this: In the early 1970's, control of car design and manufacture went from being in the hands of the engineers to being in the hands of the accountants and bean counters.

That led to the abomination called PLANNED OBSOLESCENCE - actually designing vehicles to simply fall apart after a predermined mileage has been reached.

The reasoning behind this was the bright idea that Americans will drive their cars for the pre-determined 5 years or so, the cars fall apart, and they're forced to buy a ones.

That worked for a while, but then along came the Japanese with their less expensive yet better-built vehicles to compete with the fatcats of the Big Three.

That's why Ford and GM are in such financial trouble these days. You can't build a shiatty, overpriced product for 30 years and not expect the competition to start taking their customers away.

I've owned Fords, Chryslers, and GM's. Let me tell you, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM turned out to be pieces of shiat, with problems ranging from brakes that constantly needed replaced, to inadequate suspensions, to unreliable performance and handling. Kiss my ass, Big 3. Hello, Honda and Toyota!

2005-11-27 05:00:21 PM  
Ah Nick Nostril, I see that you are familiar with Lucas electrics too.
2005-11-27 05:01:13 PM  
I went on an Adblock frenzy, and I adblocked everything from MSN! Now if firefox only made a TV!

/I should be doing homework anyway
//Sigh, anyone want to finish my seminar for chemistry
///Slashy Slashy
2005-11-27 05:10:44 PM  
I have to add the Chevy Celibrity to it. I had an '82 (the first year they were built). I had to replace the alternator 5 times in 2 years! POS!!!!!
2005-11-27 05:12:00 PM  
East-German Wartburg. The author of this "article" lives in a too protective environment...
The horrors of 2-stroke engine in a largish station wagon...
2005-11-27 05:14:06 PM  
I actually laugh that there is no geo metro on there. While I owned the thing, and it was reliable as hell, and it was a suicide trap......

.... at least it didnt start on fire.

/Sometimes, I wish it did.
2005-11-27 05:14:47 PM  
Now, I'm not sure I'd drive a Scion xB -- they look like someone knocked over a fridge -- but most people I know who've driven them say they're fun to drive and pretty versatile.

The Scion xA, on the other hand, is pretty cute, like the Toyota Matrix's little sister. Tempted to get one of those once I can afford to drive a car that's not old enough to drive itself. There's also the tC which is a pretty unremarkable looking sedan.

Let me tell you, though -- late 80s vintage Tauruses are high on my list of automobile craptacularity. My parents' '89 Taurus has been no end of trouble. Its bluebook value is so low that a low-speed fenderbender "totalled" it and we had to get a salvage title. A $200 junkyard part and a few frustrating hours with the toolbox later, it was fixed.

Even our Pikachu-yellow 1979 Chevy LUV Mikado looks at the Taurus and snickers. But then, it's an Isuzu in disguise.

/I heart my '89 Accord
2005-11-27 05:22:05 PM  
I have an '04 Element and I love it - I think the look is fine and I can pack my entire dorm room into it.

However, I'm thinking about getting a Scion xB for the mileage - I don't like the look as much as the Element but it has the same feel. If only Honda would make an Element hybrid...
2005-11-27 05:26:33 PM  
Worst car horn ever:

On the Ford Fairmont, one would literally have to push on the end of the entire turn signal stalk, *inwards*... toward the steering column.

Made for great hijinks. Nothing like a 10 second gap between needing to honk your horn and trying to figure out how the stupid f**king thing works.
2005-11-27 05:46:40 PM  
"Son, I'm buying a new Lincoln!"

Start digging the grave.

I am the Feeble Zeeble.
2005-11-27 06:30:24 PM  
What?!?! No LeCar? C'mon.
2005-11-27 07:05:54 PM  
darth_shatner: Datsun 120Y
An under engined, under-tyred, under-braked ugly piece of rubbish so bad it is now an in-joke in Oz.

My sister got a 120Y as a graduation present, I thought it was the coolest car ever. Someone was backing out of their driveway and my sister smacked into them and she totaled her car. I remember the teethmarks from where she hit the steering wheel.
2005-11-27 07:14:42 PM  
Fubegra, thanks for the Corvair defense. Those were neat little cars. The only problem I had with mine was getting the octane gasoline needed for a while. And adjusting the carburetor linkage so all four carbs worked together well.

Pity nitrogen oxide limits put air-cooled engines out of business.
2005-11-27 07:18:35 PM  
ugh...the Scion xB is atrocious. But I'm madly in love with my little xA. Just don't drive the automatic. O_o The control and reduced weight you get with the 5-speed manual completely makes up for the low horsepower.
2005-11-27 07:25:08 PM  
How about an early 80s Escort? I had to turn off the AC to get it up to 55 on the highway. The one I had would occasionally die while driving and then pop-start itself.

They didn't improve on this in the mid-90's models either.
You have to turn off the AC to get on the freeway.
They also added the automatic seatbelts with the seatbelt clip that runs in a track above the door opening. These things are perfectly timed to catch your hair, whack you in the head every time you try to get out of the car.
We keep it around cause its paid for and gets good gas mileage.
2005-11-27 07:33:43 PM  
What? Not pictures of 3-wheeled cars?

[image from too old to be available]
2005-11-27 07:35:18 PM  
Corvairs are cool (that is, '65-'69)

You will NOT catch me in a '60 through '64
2005-11-27 07:35:46 PM  
2005-11-27 07:40:25 PM  

Sorry, was hosting guests. A fellow here years ago succesfully transplanted a drive train out of a corolla. Can't remember what year, but it weighed less, made more ponies, and was as durable as a Chritian's love for Jeebus.

Then he had to overcome Lucas The Prince of Darkness, but at least it ran.
2005-11-27 07:42:52 PM  

Interesting post. I remember, back in the late '70s, the Dodge truck would go first so the Ford could stop and pick up the parts that fell off. Chrysler has since improved quality. Ford, however, well...One of the (90s era)Rangers I had was sold with 195,000 miles. A 1990 F250 made it to 225,000 and was only sold because it was no longer needed. My daughter's 2000 F150 required a new engine at 60,000 miles. With GM seeming intent on going out of business while building crap, Ford building crap, and Chrysler still being a make I don't trust due to past experience I now drive a Honda.

I got rid of my '86 Toyota pickup with 253,000 miles (still going strong, even the AC still worked) and bought a Ridgeline. Very happy with it.
2005-11-27 07:45:19 PM  
Heh, in a few years, modern Volkswagens will be on this list.

I subjected myself to a new Passat a few years back. POS. Electrical problems (even the DEALER said 'these things are electrical nightmares' - after I bought it of course).

Then the 5 speed auto trans. blew up. $7000.

Just. For. The. Transmission.

Came in a nice wooden crate from the Fatherland.

"You're lucky this was under warranty," said the Service Manager, "otherwise, this would have cost you like 10 or 11 thousand dollars."

Turns out a few other people in my own town had the same problem.

I traded the car the next weekend for a Nissan.

/see you at 200k miles!
2005-11-27 07:45:57 PM  
Oh yeah:

Why do the British drink warm beer?

They have Lucas regridgerators.

I love cliches...especially when true!

///lover of Brit motorcycles
2005-11-27 07:55:38 PM  
FordG42: AND it runs on sheep urine.

*LOL* look at the funny-ass face on that car! pretty creepy. IT'S SMILING AT ME@!
2005-11-27 07:57:48 PM  
I think 70's and 80's model Camaros are the ugliest thing on the road around here, and I live in South Carolina, so I get my fair share of them. Honorable mention, the El Camino, the mullett of cars.
2005-11-27 08:03:03 PM  
British electrics (Lucas): Over the years I have had many,many British motorcycles (10 at once at one time), and I always found the electrical components to be extremely durable and reliable. The problem always lay in the wiring connectors. Loose, corroded connectors are going to put you by the side of the road every time. When I rebuilt a Brit bike, I tightened up and cleaned every connector, and secured the wiring with bagfuls of cable ties. Results: bright, strong lights,first kick starting, and trouble-free operation. As a restorer of vintage vehicles, the greatest real improvement in autos,IMO, has been in the wiring harnesses with secure,waterproof, lock-together plugs. Drive a car from the 50's or early 60's, and sooner or later you will be digging under the dash to find out why fuses keep blowing.
2005-11-27 08:18:45 PM  
My Accord has 225,000 miles on it. It runs like I just drove it home new off the showroom floor.

Total breakdowns: 0
Total service needed outside maintenances: 0
Total stalls, failed turnovers, premature dead battery, etc: 0

And I'm not even concerned about jinxing it by saying so. The car is THAT GOOD.

Next year, I'll be at a nice low point on debt, and I think it's time to retire the old Accord and get a new Accord Hybrid. I have to think it'll be at least comparably good...
2005-11-27 08:25:33 PM  
Mazda engines are made by Ford. Same deal as Acura/Honda and Nissan/Infinity.

/the more ya know
2005-11-27 08:59:16 PM  
I can't believe the 80's fwd cadillac weren't on the list. I had one for awhile and was just the biggest piece of shiat I owned, the 4.1L v8 was just so badly made, hell my 1990 stanza has the same horsepower, they should of saved themselves the trouble and put a 3.8 v6 in it from the beginning. Designed by cokeheads for cokeheads.

On my british bikes the rectifier/zener diode combo always sucked, repleace it with a rectifier box and troubles where solved. And yes the crappy push in connectors suck :(.
2005-11-27 09:09:33 PM  

This thread is useless without the Chevy Citation.

/first car was an '85 Citation
//could conceivably be wealthy today had it been almost anything else
2005-11-27 09:18:33 PM  
drdank: Please explain this picture:

Were these cars so crappy that they came in multi-packs?

No, but they should've. I drove a 77 Vega hatchback in high school. Man that car sucked. I let the magic white smoke out on my way home from work one night. Damn thermostat stuck so I had no idea I had nothing in the radiator. Warped the Bejesus out of the heads.

As crappy as it was, it was still my first car and I paid for it with some long saved lawn mowing money. I dont have to worry about seeing any more of them on the road though.
2005-11-27 09:27:04 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Merkur, anyone? Now THAT'S a crappy car.
2005-11-27 09:30:39 PM  
I'm going to go with the Renault Rodeo.

What a piece of crap.

\please be kind to the noob.
\\everyone loves a slashie
2005-11-27 09:31:51 PM  
We just bought a Scion xB and love the hell out of the thing. Great mileage, can fit 5 adults with room to boot, has the most unique look out there and drives like dream - I'd buy another one in a heartbeat.

MSNBC just proves again that they have no farking clue what they are talking about.
2005-11-27 09:38:22 PM  
I nearly forgot about the Yugo. None seemed to have survived our winters. I do remember the jokes:

Why is there a rear window defogger on the Yugo?
To keep your hands warm as you push it out of traffic.

A guy walks into an auto parts store and says he wants a gas cap for his yugo.
The counter guy says,"Yeah, sounds like a fair trade."
2005-11-27 09:43:10 PM  
Capt. Poopie:

Are you saying that Acura/Honda and Nissan/Infinity engines are made by Ford? If so, you don't have a clue.

Acura and Infiniti (with an I) are Honda and Nissan's luxury brands and they do share some components with their cheaper cousins.

I myself own a 2004 Acura TL which is heavily based on the current Accord, however, it shares no sheetmetal or interior parts with the Accord and the engine is different. It's also tuned differently for more sporting ride and handling characteristics.
2005-11-27 09:48:08 PM  

The Aztek, while bizarre looking, is apparently a great car that its owners love for its versatility and cargo room. It's a good snow-country vehicle for people who like to ski/snowboard.

I got one a couple of years ago after crashing up my sedan on a wintery Wyoming highway at 70 mph. I've been very happy with the Aztek, and it's very functional. My only complaints involve a slightly underpowered engine, and some blindspots toward the rear. Personally, I like the "bizarre" look.
2005-11-27 10:02:17 PM  
I love the Element. Solid vehicle, and great Honda quality.

But, NO...the wife said we need a sedan.

2005-11-27 10:16:29 PM  
No AMC Hornet? No Marlin? No Toronado?

Writer has absotively No clue!
2005-11-27 10:17:32 PM  
arathres: Cousin was in a benz that got t-boned at 90 mph into the drivers door. He walked away. Name another car that can withstand that and I'll be amazed.

One time I dodged around a mix-up like that in my Miata, didn't even get scratched.

/did have to downshift though
//your car's tough like a rhinoceros
///my car moves like a house cat
2005-11-27 10:36:48 PM  
Ford Tempo. My dad had that one, god, what a piece of shiat. After everything died and he sunk the same amount of money into the car as it took him to buy one, he ended up giving it away to some yolko. Last time I've seen, the guy still runs the car.

Best cars? Toyotas. Subaru makes decent ones, but their front bumper (atleast on the Legacy) is too low and you can scrape it very easily. A Corolla is great for gas, pretty roomy (I'm a big guy) and easy to manuever (when someone stops to turn left, I can simply drive around them.)
2005-11-27 10:38:46 PM  
I haven't exactly figured out why the Citron 2CV is considered a Turkey, because it lasted, like forever in sales. I remember seeing those things all over the place in old films during the 60s made in Europe.

The Honda Element has a low incident of defects and it's good for cargo. Those 'suicide' doors kinda connect back to the 1920s when a lot of cars had doors opening from the right.
I like it a whole lot better than the Scion, which is basically an unaerodynamic box on wheels. (Please note: streamlining equals less wind resistance which equals more miles per gallon. That's why many big rigs have an airfoil on top of their cabs.) Obviously, the Scion designers were not interested in saving gas and the owners have no taste.

A guy I knew had a Yugo. Brand new. It was kind of an interesting car -- the only one I ever found with the spare tire secured right on top of the HOT engine under the hood. It had an interesting little a/c unit mounted in the very basic and utilitarian counsel between the seats that was powerful.

It had to be. I don't think the car had any insulation anywhere.

It had a remarkably underpowered engine that was good on gas and a tiny transmission with about 5 foreword gears. Driving in it was like driving a go cart. Everything was about as basic as possible in it. If you got hit, I suspect that it probably would have folded up like tin foil. We used to joke that when the paint wore off, all of these flattened Bush cans would show up. It had a locking gas cap, which, if you didn't know how to work it took a crowbar to get off.

It kind of reminds you of the old joke where a guy buys a basic car and the salesman asks if he wants seats with that.
2005-11-27 10:45:33 PM  
My family has an Element.

Looks like a toaster but Its great for us.

BTW the 2 horse review is all compliments, so why is it on a crap car list?
2005-11-27 11:06:10 PM  
I know a guy who races the Scion

and sadly gets good lap times, it weighs something similar to the barebones miata

/so ugly

2005-11-27 11:29:20 PM  
we had a Merkur XRrTi

Was mentioned above, even the turbo lasted over 100k. But then it blew and we sold it to some kid for pocket change while it was sitting dead in the driveway.

Not sure it deserves to be on that list tho...borderline. But it was semi-cool imho
2005-11-27 11:30:23 PM  

Having owned two 1962 Corvairs I can tell you with certainty that not only are the spark plugs staring you in the face, there is no requirement to yank the engine even remotely for a normal tune up.

However, the valves on these things constantly needed adjustment. I had both of mine for probably four years total and had to adjust the valves on them once a year. I actually got pretty fast at it and even developed a special half-valve-cover so I could do it while the thing was running and not lose 4 quarts of oil in the process.

The only other problem was keeping the carbs in sync.

I got good enough at dropping the engine in this thing to be able to pull out the engine/diff/trannie in one giant piece in under 20 minutes. I could swap engines or replace a clutch in an hour.

In the end it was just not the most reliable car and at the time I was commuting 3 hours a day. I ended up getting a 1969 Ford LTD that ran like a tank, ate gas like you wouldn't believe, but I only had to replace a fan clutch and two engine mounts. Plus the passenger seat reclined fully and you could sleep almost normally in the back seat.
2005-11-27 11:35:37 PM  
Believe it or not, the Citron 2CV's engine and suspention/hub system is the base for ALOT of old ass kit-cars.

carkiller: My mom rolled a Dauphin over into a ditch, my dad just rolled it back over and they drove it home.

The Merkur 4xti wasen't all THAT bad, the 2.3L Turbo (same as Turbocoupe Thunderbird and Mustang SVO) was pretty peppy for the time and it didn't weight THAT much for the time. People in the US prolly didn't like the MadMax type head-light setup though.

The Pacer is one UGLY car!

Aaaand the Subaru SVX was an AWESOME car, only too heavy and it never came with a manual transmission.
2005-11-28 12:07:27 AM  
Ford Taurus and Tempos are junk. I have heard bad things about the Dodge Caravan too.

I loved that picture from the Halloween thread of the Scion with the toast coming out of the top.

H2s are tax-writeoffs for guys with big muscles and small wieners. No, I don't think you are rich because you drive the H2, I think you are a gas-guzzling asshole.
2005-11-28 12:24:47 AM  
I have owned/worked on: Fords, Dodges, Chryslers, Saab's, Hondas, and Toyotas.

Ford: Solid. I am not of the "Found On Road Dead" Crowd. They are fairly reliable, though they are famously non-fuel-efficient, and they get exponentially worse as time goes on.

Dodge: Unmitigated crap. Worse than worthless. Owned 2 Caravans, and they were nightmares. The first, a 1989, lost 2 transformers in it's first 2 years, and a third in its 4th. This, coupled with severe body rust issues, and a need to have the engine removed partially to change spark plugs, has forever soured the brand.

Chrysler: See above. Same cheesebox on wheels feel.

Saab: Handles like a dream, though older models are kinda heavy. Crashes well - lost mine to a drunk driver in a head-on, with nary a scratch on me (the drunk bastard ate windscreen. HA HA!) VERY FINNICKY CLUTCHES ON STANDARD, had to replace slave cylinder 3 times in 2 years. Odd engine layout, but the oil filters easy to get to.

Honda: Current favorite (driving a 99 CRV). Same tight handling as the Saab but without the price. Part situation leaves much to be desired. You'd think with Hondas there would be a wealth of aftermarket everything, but it is impossible to buy certain things outside of the dealership. (windshield wiper arms for instance). Towing capacity is amazing for a 4 banger.

Toyota: reliable, but cheesy. Wouldn't buy one myself.
2005-11-28 12:50:30 AM  

Designed and promoted as a vehicle for Generation Xers who like to spend their weekends surfing and generally hanging out and looking cool, the boxy, funky-looking Scion XB has instead found a devoted following among much older drivers who love its low ride and ample headroom. Dude, how uncool is that?

Funny, that's the same story of the redesigned Chevy Caprice, intended for youth with its curvy looks, but ended up to be a favorite by the old fogeys and cops because, well, it's a land yacht.

[image from too old to be available]
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