From this day forth, I plan on filling bags with diapers, and leaving them on my porch. Not only will this be a pleasant surprise for the Witnesses that ring my bell at "Oh-my-god" o'clock on the weekends, but maybe, just maybe, I can get someone to actually take it home.

The only problem is, I have no kids. They make Depends for people that are 6'5" and 220lbs, right?

Sometimes crime is the sh*ts.

Slow news day in Scotland? Why did this lady think this was news worthy and contact the media? Why did the media report it?

I wonder if thief can sue for emotional damage now?

I lost a Bic pen this morning. It had run dry. Whoever finds it and tries to use it is in for a big disappointment.

/calling the media now

poor choice: I wonder if thief can sue for emotional damage now?

This article is from Scotland, not America.

What a shiatty day for him ...

/nothin'

In America it might've been a dead hooker.

He got a shiatty surprise.

A friend of mine was helping someone move. They had lived in one house for a long time and had a lot of junk - pure junk - that was going to the dump.

He loaded his pickup with boxes of misc crap, and the next day was going to take them to the city dump to drop them off. That night, he stopped at the bar where we hang out and play darts.

Someone stole most of the boxes. They couldn't have looked to see what was in them or they wouldn't have bothered - they were just grabbing whatever they could get. It saved him a trip to the dump, and we got a laugh out of it.

Some poor guys must have to clean those dirty diapers every week so they can be reused. What a crappy job.

/Couldn't help myself.

submitter: Thief who stole bulging green bag from someone's porch was probably surprised to discover it was loaded with dirty diapers

Maybe not...

Speaking of weird thefts...

While at my sister's this thankgiving, I inquired about what had happened to some old chairs my dad had.

They were fancy chairs with wicker backs from a dining room set, and had little wheels on the feet. But the chairs were very old, so the material on the seats were torn, and there were chips, and the wicker on some of them was broken.

Well, someone apparently broke into the basement of my sister's old apartment and took the chairs... Or rather, the seat, back and arms of the chairs... But none of the legs, even though they were all sitting there!

Why in the world would someone steal chairs with no legs? New legs would never match the old ones and would have ot be custom made. And the chips, the torn fabric, and the borken wicker... They would appear to be practicaly worthless!

The thief took nothing else.

DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke
Now, thats just sick, dude.

poor choice: Now, thats just sick, dude.

I'm only guessing, but if you did a GIS for 'dirty diaper porn', I'll bet there's somebody out there rubbing one out over a soiled Pamper.

/hell no i'm not looking!
//scared

Someone did the exact thing to my mother when I was an infant.

dahmers love zombie:

Um, dude, I did the exact same thing for the exact same reason. Down to his lazy ass drinking beer in the cab of the truck.

Oh the joy of turning a four feet tall compost heap in the middle of triple digit heat...

Well my hippy dippy father used a number of things in his heap.

Here are a few:

shredded paper taken from banks (me collecting said bags again)
bags of raked up leaves/pine straw (me again)
old vegetable matter that was thrown out by grocery stores (me again)
anything else that would biodegrade

I am sure with the amount of grass you had it may have smelled heavenly. To me it smelled like rotten everything and, more importantly, it smelled like back breaking work and ants. Lots of ants.

I remember he used to brag to his friends about his 'completely organic' corn. Of course the sweat of child laborers is completely organic...

Poop happens!

poopsmith wanted for questioning.

Something like that happened to my family. A thief thought my sister's diaper bag was a purse and broke one of our car windows to steal it.

It was filled with clean diapers and not dirty ones, unfortunately.

/would've loved to have seen his face

Or perhaps that's why they stole it...

See, that's why you never steal from the golgothan.

I used to live in a house in a fairly busy intersection. My friend and landlord used to get rid of his old junk by simply placing on the corner of his lawn, often placed as if someone dropped it without knowing. The junk ALWAYS dissapeared within an hour.

He had a large box half-filled with old cans and other junk. Was going to take it to the dump when I had a better idea. Had him fill the rest of the box with household garbage (made sure there were no identifying items in it). Then we wrapped it in colored paper and added a ribbon. Left it out early the next morning hanging half off the curb like it fell off the back of a pickup truck. It was gone in 20 minutes.

I've long since moved outta that old house, but thems were some good times. Never needed a trip to the dump. :)

If I were to do this now, I'd add a fake little card in the box saying something like: "Dear Janet: this is what I think of your little scheme to take my Jim away from me. Enjoy your gift" or somesuch. Let 'em think that some Janet person just missed getting some garbage for a present. :)

I bet Farkers could think of a better fake note for the card than I came up with... ;)

Karma, nothing but pure karma

60 soiled diapers in one week? That's more than 9 craps a day! I think the headline should read "Scotland baby craps a lot and, by the way, someone stole its crap."

They were taken by the fearless 'Nappy Nappers'....

poor choice
DirtyDeadGhostofEbenezerCooke
Now, thats just sick, dude.

Yeah but might just be true.

I used to work in daycare and apparently there was a guy who would raid the dumpsters out back for the dirty diapers. We never knew until the cops came and tried to site the owner for littering because they found mounds of garbage in the woods, some with identifying documents. They csught the guy eventually. Still gives me the heebie jeebies.

Mutt

Slow news day in Scotland? Why did this lady think this was news worthy and contact the media? Why did the media report it?

I think that this Scottish newspaper must be a FOX News affiliate. More evidence against Intelligent Design...