thisdaydreamer: Thank you all for the laughs because I needed them. My worst Black Friday in retail will be tomorrow. My sister died yesterday and I don't know how I'll make it through the day. I'm only going in to work because I can't bear to stay home.

Sorry to hear that, my prayers are with you.

Canadian (living in the US), don't suffer the Black Friday madness.

/Hope nobody already said that
//too lazy to check
///2 bottles of wine and counting....

Pench: There were four dozen people waiting outside in the cold rain to get xbox 360's. What they didn't know what that microsoft had only sent the store 50.

four dozen is less than 50.

I work at target and 2 years ago I was opening cart attendant. It was really cold and it poured rain all morning, and my manager said if I got sick they would deny my workman's comp claim.

I tell you what, the way shoppers act on Black Friday, you'd think some oil hit a few anuses....

Sigh... Too bad I have to work tomorrow... Otherwise I'd drive down to Seattle, find a big box store, and have a nice big coffee and enjoy the fun (not buying anything of course). From all the reports here, it sounds better than a sporting event!

N.

Radio Shack - Horror of Horrors

We were non-stop waiting on customers from 5AM - 6PM, and I worked the whole damn day (until 11PM). About 6:30PM, some farkin' Elton John wannabe 7 year old kid rolls in without parents and starts pounding away on the electronic keyboard. Driving EVERYONE nuts. So, time to have some fun.

There's a camera above the rack near where the kid is, and it has a speaker, so the mic in the back pipes to it. I head to the back and kill the power on the keyboard, which temporarily stuns the kid. While he's looking for the power switch, I turn on the mic and say "Help" in a really high voice. He's a little spooked, and looks up at the camera like "What the fark is that?"

Long story short (or not), I go "HELP ME KID! I'M TRAPPED IN THE CAMERA!!!" and he bolts outta the store to go pee himself. Worth the hassle of the whole day.

I worked fours years for a womens shoe company in NY during college.The day would start at 6am and usually end 18-20 hours later.

My buddy works at an unnamed retail electronics store. There were four dozen people waiting outside in the cold rain to get xbox 360's. What they didn't know what that microsoft had only sent the store 50. I didn't stick around to see how that one played out.

What etymxris said. 50 > 48. I can only assume that more than 2 of those 50 were those ridiculous core systems that they are using to steal our money.

I have a buddy that works at Circuit City. Black Friday was a mess. He said it was really sad that he had to look people straight in the eye at 6:15 A.M. (they opened at 6:00) and tell them sorry, we're completely sold out of the specials already... you should have been here before 4:00 A.M. to get in line. I think that year they had flatbed scanners and DVD players for like $39. I tried getting my wife a garden bench one year at Target I think... I drove up, saw the line around the store and drove straight away. They can't make things cheap enough to make it worth my while to deal with all the lines and crabby people...

MorphOSX:

I used to work GeekSquad for Best Buy, and the last meeting I attended was the one where they were gearing up for the holiday rush. Our manager was explaining how they had to barricade the departments off, set it up so people took a number and were "power-sold" products as they were allowed into the departments to preserve orders.

I knew there was another reason other than security when they did that shiat, thank god there is a Fry's closer to me. They are more helpful and have better checkout procedures, so much so the best buys near us are now copying them.

clsecmbt:

I work at best buy, last year, I was working the games area when I was slapped on the head from behind by a hard plastic videogame case. When I turned, an overweight african american woman with a memorycard in a game case was just about to open her mouth to speak. I put my hand up to cut her off, and told her that I didn't have anything she was looking for, period.

I'm human too.

You sir are a racist.

/sarcasm
//suprised you werent yelled at for doing that

kingsolomon: Middle aged white woman are the bane of American society.

Difference is that white women only act like this around the holidays, even suggest that a black woman is being rude at a best buy any time of the year and watch the fireworks. Out of all women white women are 3rd or fourth on the difficult list behind black women, asian, and probably tied with indian women. Mexican women are the easiest to rationalize with, not sure why.

While I was in college I worked as plain clothes undercover security for a large chain clothing store. We would usually arrest 3, maybe 4 people per day as a team but on one black friday I made 15 arrests on my own, and as 5 person team we arrested 55 people.

Good times.

Ahem!

For some reason, those people who don't get want they want think it is their duty to scream at the retail workers. I loved the year I had a mom scream at me that we were "hiding" the PS2s. Company nametag or not, I stood there and told her she was an idiot. Stores make money selling products, not spending millions of dollars in salaries and interest to hide anything sellable. If it's here and has a barcode, I'd sell it. And no, I generally don't know when Sony's releasing another batch to the warehouses. And no, I am not taking your name. During this season I've got thousands of people wanting millions of things and I can't keep track of any list when my stock is completely turning over on a daily basis

Plus, does any reasonable person believe that yelling at a clerk is going to do any good? I've been a retail manager for 15 years and even yelling at me won't get you anywhere. You can threaten to write letters to the newspaper, call in a TV crew, boycott, be on a mailing list group with thousands of people on it, and I couldn't care less. The more you threaten me, the less interested I am. Yes, my name is and please make sure you spell it correctly when you report it to the CEO of the company.

Those people that are polite, I'll go out on a limb to help. But first hint, READ THE RETURN POLICY BEFORE you buy whatever it is! SAVE the receipts! You're an idiot if you think that many stores are going to hand out the cash on your well-known and honest reputation. No you aren't a thief, mostly. But I've found that the louder they yell, the more likely something's up. Unless you shop at a store where the store owner knows your name, we have no clue who you are or how much money you've spent there in the past.

Most register systems at the big box retailers are locked down against no-receipt returns. That barcode at the top of the receipt is what "magically" allows the return and no, even as the store manager, I don't have a secret code to do your return specifically. Don't like the policy? You'll never shop here again? Thank FSM that you're leaving and not coming back. One less moron who can't read is out of my life.

/how about acting civilized once and awhile?
//retail workers are people too
///mean people suck
////end retail rant

kallahan

I worked radioshack black friday once.... in one of the buisest stores in the state....

you nightmare..has just begun... there will be many people for cell phones, and MANY more for batterys, of all kinds, and they don't know what they are...
also, it was the first year of the XMods... i got to watch a guy knock another guy clean out for a yellow Skyline one, and a woman shove a little kid over and rip one right out of his hands...
I don't miss it one bit
VIVA LA C130 LITHIUM!

/still has nightmares
//many therapy bills
///most importantly, slashies!

Alright, I just read most of these stories (almost all were hilarious). As a Canadian who doesn't have black friday and therfore I have never witnessed anything like this. Thanks for sharing.

Not black friday.. just commenting on how people can act normal in long lines

I was there last year for the Halo 2 launch at midnight.. Well over 200 people in line. They were letting 5 in at a timee, not one person acted stupid, tried to cut, tried to punch anyone. we gamers know what's up

computers department, Best Buy...I'll be reporting for duty in about six and a half hours...I'll be bursting with funny stories tomorrow, for sure.

Sigh...if people gave 1/16 of the money they spend on worthless plastic crap to charity the world would be a much better place.

But, I guess an XBox is really that important.

no black friday stories, but wanted to respond to 2 farkers further up the thread. THISDAYDREAMER, am very very sorry doll. you didnt have an email addy in your profile, so am posting here. i dont have any helpful words really, other than, we are thinkin of you, and take care.
RCVAUGHAN4, same goes for you. you DO have an email addy in your profile, email got bounced tho.

SO the best for me I was working in electronics in the Local Wally-World and it was the first year that the Nintendo 64's were out and we had them in the black Friday ad. We were down to the last one and 2 women grabbed it at the same time. they began discussing and their voices got louder and louder till woman number one calls woman number 2 a Farkin Biatch. Woman number 2 proceeds to give woman 1 the well I'm a christian woman and such behavior is unacceptable. Woman 1 proceeds to punch out woman 2 and exclaims "Since you're a Christian Woman I guess you have to farking forgive me." Then the police were called. you can guess where it goes from there. Oh ya neither of them got the 64.

Seven years in retail and I have a few gems...

1. I destroyed a Furby in front of a crowd of caffeine crazed lunatics while working for K*B Toys, many of whom were calling for my person to be crucified. I dressed as Santa to avoid detection for the remainder of the morning.

2. Enjoyed a laugh when people went out of their way to buy a shiatty teen pop CD at Strawberries that was advertised for its regular price... what a deal!

3. My favorite, the day before Thanksgiving my GM at Old Navy and I had a fight over those rad walkie talkies and he ended our conversation by sending me home and telling me not to come back until I'm ready. So I showed up at 8:00 A.M. on Friday when I was scheduled to be there at 5:00 A.M. I smirked and said that I just didn't feel ready at such an ungodly hour. Amazingly he gave me a scary grin in return and just patted me on the back.

There are more, and I regret that I didn't keep a running journal of customer incidents. Would've made a killer book. Maybe.

DewKnight

I can only imagine the line to return/trade in Halo 2 a couple of days later, considering it's probably the biggest disappointment in the history of gaming.

I used to work at Dollar Tree (dollar store chain of products actually a dollar... unlike those fake stores).. but anyway.. it was around 9:55 and the store was supposed to close at 10... people were making excuses of "I need these things so I can decorate my house for christmas and/or hannakuh".. I was just cashier/stock, so I just did my job.. it ended up being 10:45 until I got so pissed off that I started cursing people out to leave the store, I literally yelled at the top of my lungs "GTFO our store, we have families too!! You should've learned time management skills!"
Now mind you, the boss was busy on the phone with his superior and last track of time.. I got so mad, I missed out on time with my family (that weekend was the only time I could see my family because of school that was 60 miles away and 3 eager professors that wanted projects submited *during* the break). I ended up kicking out people and telling them to fark themselves because we closed an hour late...wasn't a good week for me stresswize.. I'm just glad that we closed it and I could speed off in front of p'od customers without hitting one.. I mean.. comeon.. I didn't want blood on my Infiniti :D

rostit: I very rarely post in a greenlit thread. Most of this is pathetic. Retail is what it is. A job is what it is. If you dont like waiting on me at a store, quit and get a better job.
Damn people think everything is entitled to them. Black Friday is a stupid day and you dont save that much cash. F- it. Ill be doing something else.

Because waiting on you entitles you to verbally or physically assault someone. Because everyone can go out and get a 100k a year job right? How exactly did that stick get rammed so far up your ass?


A lot of my buddies work retail. I wouldn't wish black friday on most of my enemies. I usually make an effort to drive them there and home at night, because more then 1 has had his car broken into.

/Never worked retail, but respects those that do.

First black friday I ever worked I was still in high school, and I worked at a toy store. I came in two hours late to work and got there at 6 AM. People always talk about the customers standing in lines at 5 AM, but they do not realize that the employees have get there even earlier. Anyways, it was so busy that day that no one even noticed I was late, and later that day a woman who was pissed off that we did not have a game boy game told me that she "was a secret shopper" right before she stormed out the doors.

I'm working my first Black Friday tomorrow, so I'm expecting to die. Fortunately, I don't work in retail. Unfortunately, I worked for an "unamed coffee company" in the middle of a major shopping area.

Reading all of these stories give me a feeling of impending doom. I have a feeling tomorrow will end in either death or joblessness....

Tomorrow will be my first. The mall opens at 7 and I'll get there at 9, joining my poor coworker. I'm not even supposed to work tomorrow. I work in food service, an ice cream establishment. And by the way, you wouldn't believe the farktards that want an ice cream during a blizzard (not that ice cream place). My mom is getting up at 6 to go shopping for whatever insane reason. Oh well, I'll get to deal with pissed off customers who just blew a grand on their kids and can't understand I don't set the prices. Yes, sir, it's almost $7 for a shake, take it or go the fark away. I envision a nervous breakdown this year.

Perhaps Pench was using baker's dozens, and they would have been short two instead of two more? Just taking a stab here.

Also, expecting to die on my first Black Friday tomorrow. At least it's not the morning shift.

i worked in music retail for a few years.

if you go in to a music store, don't do this:

"hey, you busy? i was just wonderin' if you had that album, by that guy, y'know, with the hat, in the video. it's for my son/ daughter..."

most music stores have sharp things that the staff has access to. and after, say noon, the line between restraint and abject farking rage begins to blur...

I have a couple of really bad experiences from working retail on Black Friday as a teenager & while in college:
I worked in the layaway department at Walmart and our policy was to open up the boxes so the customer could make sure they were getting all of their merchandise-customers knew this was the policy. I opened a small box for a lady and it contained men's undershirts and socks. I pulled the items out to show her and her husband was standing with her. She starts going off on me about ruining her husband's Christmas and how I was such a horrible person and I was going to hell for ruining Christmas. (I only wish I were kidding) I've also ruined lots of birthdays for children whose parents were idiotic enough to bring them to the store while shopping for said child's birthday present. Idiots...
I also worked at Kay-Bee toys one Black Friday--we had four of us working registers and lines of people down the strip mall trying to get in. The register I was on broke down so I had to hand-key everything, which you can only imagine how unhappy this made all those cheap rich people (the area was a very wealthy one) feel. They were hoping to get through the line fast enough so they could get their "first come, first serve with every purchase of $100 or more" Buzz Lightyear dolls. I swear I hate the sound of someone sucking their teeth in impatience.

I worked at a Best Buy (seasonal) during Black Friday two years ago. Since I was one of the newbies, they didn't trust me to try and sell/organize stuff, but put me in a side room organinzing computer carts using forms that people filled out.

The best part was that, for some insane reason, the managers decided that we would get people who actually wanted the extra software crap that we were supposed to sell. After being told how the computers were organized and anticipating the inevitable, I asked what to do once I ran out of "normal" computers. Their answer? "Start using the other systems, but use the less-equipped ones first." I wonder how much they lost in profit because they decided to do that, and how much confusion there was at the register. Heh.

I work at Wal-mart right now, but I don't have to work during the morning. I do, however, have a short shift in the afternoon, and I'm sure I'll get lots of people asking for things we sold out of a half hour after opening.

Also, I will be one of the "morons" standing in line tomorrow. :)

TomFooolery: toy stores don't call it Black Friday-- it's not happy and fun enough

Actually, that's the idea of the managers. As it was explained to me, "Black" Friday sounded bleak, and the managers didn't like the idea of us calling it that in front of customers, and to call it "Green" Friday instead.

Wal-mart calls it "Blitz". Other places use "Door busters".

I work at a grocery store, so instead of Black Friday, we have Black Wednesday. And I had yesterday off because I had a poorly designed schedule with classes from the early morning to cray late at night. All semester, I was pissed at my schedule. Yesterday, it was one of the happiest moments of my life.

Awww.

glenn2323: Sigh...if people gave 1/16 of the money they spend on worthless plastic crap to charity the world would be a much better place.

How much of your income do you donate? Oh wait, from your profile I see you're a music student. Nothing from nothing leaves nothing.

rostit: I very rarely post in a greenlit thread. Most of this is pathetic. Retail is what it is. A job is what it is. If you dont like waiting on me at a store, quit and get a better job.

Well aren't you special. I'm sure the liters are glad you graced them with your presence and worthwhile comments.

I work for a beer distributor & all the delivery guys dread being anywhere on the road on this Friday. It double sucks for the guys that have to deliver to restaurants on the malls.

There's nothing like the *taptaptap* of a 4 carat diamond ring on the door of a Starbucks at 5:15 am from a soccer mom who wants to be first in line at the mall at 6 (triple venti nonfat with whip white mocha in hand). *shudder*

/has Black Friday off for the first time in 5 years

I worked black Friday at Victoria's Secret for a couple years. Good god, people are farking crazy.

I worked the black friday of 97 at a Fry's. I had to be in at 6am to help out and people were standing at the door banging to get in and we weren't open for another 2 hours!

When the doors did open, people pushed and shoved and ran at top speed through the store literally throwing things indescriminately into their carts! And shoving and ready to kill each other pretty much. They weren't even grabbing sale items.. I just couldn't get it.

Our big sale item that year was a $199 Techmedia P166 computer.

I'm seriously getting in the soccermommobile (SUV) and heading to the mall tomorrow with a camera for entertainment value. There are some great stories here.

thisdaydreamer I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom a couple of months ago; you're in a horrible place, but it's all uphill from here, I promise.

/first holiday alone
//ate leftover dominos on thanksgiving

I would say in general, not really any horror stories. It's mostly a biatch having to wake up early for the rediculous three hour early bird sales.

What's entertaining is watching everyday people turn into complete jackasses over a $30 DVD player or a $15 coupon.

I worked at Famous Barr once while going to college (in the late '80s). I just remember getting really stoned before I went to work that day, it made everything much easier to take

I worked at the Grand Canyon as a dishwasher for a while. I was still a newbie when Black Friday hit. One of the workers just walked off the job, another left for an orientation and never came back, and the only other dishwasher (aside from me) had taken the day off. So I wound up being the ONLY dishwasher in a 5 star restuarant on Black Friday and had to do not only the pot room but the regular dishwashing. The bussers were throwing dishes at me, the cooks were shouting, and the servers were messing up everything. And to top it all off I fell because someone spilled a bowl of butter and my abdomen rammed into the counter, triggering a miscarriage.

And yet stupid me I continued working for that company for a full year before being FIRED for having a kid. Don't you just love companies that work completely on loopholes?

I've worked 2 Black fridays at Nike...which were surprisingly not all that bad, if you overlook the woman who threw an aluminum bat at my manager because she couldn't get away with stealing a pair of shoes because we were "stalking" her

Tomorrow is my first Black Friday at Toys r Us. They're calling it Green Friday--RIIIIGHT...I've got my game face ready.

/is expecting death
//will accept death if it occurs during the humiliation of a stupid customer
///will probably be dead by 6 a.m.