My sister-in-law makes pearlized onions. Blechhh. Everyone else seems to eat them, but they turn my stomach just looking at them. There's something about onions and dairy products that just ain't fittin....

My family's dirty little culinary secret?...

After spending two days slaving in a hot kitchen to make a meal that will last an hour, I wipe my sweaty,greasy butt-crack with all of the serving utensils.

Remi608

The meat pie is a tourtiere pie (pronouced as "too-chay" by the Maine-ahs I know (ayuh, I'm a Mainiac)). It is ground hamburg, pork, various spices in a pie crust. quite yummy with ketchup - at least before I became a vegetarian.
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My grandmother makes a jello mold - the bottom layer is jello with fruit cocktail, middle layer is cream cheese and walnuts (maybe some mayonaisse to help mix it), the top layer is jello with fruit cocktail

for Thanksgiving, the colors are either red & orange or red & yellow. for Christmas, it is green and red (of course). (the flavors are irrelavant!)

it is quite yummy - we all look forward to it

Nole Farker..

you're right... there is cheese on there too. how could I forget the cheese? It is not so much of a coincidence that we both eat those; we are from the same city:)

This isn't really a holiday meal, but I made a bet with friends of mine over the 2004 election, and I lost. I had to cook dinner for them - here was my menu:

Conservative Media SPIN-ach Salad with defiCit-rus pEcan-omy dressing:
Fresh leaves of spinach, compassionately tender, conservatively harvested, secretly detained in an undisclosed location, and tossed around by MPs with a sweet and tangy citrus-Dijon dressing and crunchy pecans. Calling it less than delicious would fall outside the realm of plausible deniability.
--
Blackened I-rack of Pork w/ WMD Stuffing and im-Peach Mint Salsa:
Succulent rack of pork. Treated with an oil cover-up, peppered with allegations, and disavowed by higher-ups. Trimmed and prepared in the reasonable, peaceful French style and roasted to remove all traces of insurgency. A sweet, tangy, and cool salsa has been revealed by an anonymous whistleblower and served on the side.
--
Conzoleeza Rice Gone Wild, with Asparagus:
Nutty, wild Rice, sworn in and forced to sit under pressure until really, really steamed. Confirmed irresistible by both houses of a Republican-controlled Congress. Seasoned and served and lying, on a plate.
--
Twice Half-Baked-Intelligence Sweet Potatoes:
Our sources indicate that terrorists have recently sought significant quantities of these all-nummy-num tubers, to be used in the production of edibles of mass consumption. Honestly speaking, sixteen words cant accurately state that the union of ingredients in these sweet and spicy, twice-baked taters is captivating. Should they fall into the wrong hands, well that would be a recipe for disaster.
--
Drilled Alaska with Optional Wildlife Preserves:
Alaska, being turned into a dessert. Its innermost intentions concealed under so much fluff, this confections nature is to be divided up among those who would consume it. Deceptively, its seemingly warm exterior hides a cold, cold heart of ice cream. Including the preserves with your Alaska is optional but well happily give you a liberal helping of the raspberries.

what the fark is a press-on olive? a method of sealing letters? a replacement sweater button? acne treatment?
/DRTFABIHTW

my family always puts marshmallows (the big ones) on the mashed sweet potatoes--run it under the broiler to brown, and yum yum. i had no idea this was considered weird.

here's my xmas cookie secret recipe, no baking needed: crush up a box of vanilla wafers (just the cookies, not the box), add some chopped raisins and walnuts, pour in some red wine. roll into balls and cover with powdered sugar. people scarf these down, they're really good. just don't tell them how you made them.

themnemosyne: my grandfather's side of the family is Swedish, so usually at Thanksgiving or Christmas there's some pickled herring whipped out.

Feltonl: Surstromming with snaps of aquavit.

ChadManMn: Lefse and lutefisk anyone?

Surstromming smells worse, but tastes far better than lutefisk. My wife's parents made me taste both of them. You have to open the surstromming can about 100 yards from any habitation. Lutefisk looks and tastes like fish flavored jello.

There used to be a place in the States where I could purchase Julmust and Glogg online, but I've lost the addy and can't find it now. :(

Kielbasa and sauerkraut. (Not to replace the turkey, that's in addition to the turkey).

Polish urek - white borscht made from rye.

anne elk - made me snort.
had a bf once who wanted to know how to make cookies. i told him to melt a stick of butter in the microwave, and he put the whole thing in, paper and all....

Ham gravy.
Yuck.

My adopted family (one of my best friends since HS) has a tradition where someone starts to cough after the holiday meal. Someone else would follow up w/ "Is there a doctor in the house?" The Dr McGillicuddy's would come out of the freezer & go straight to the head.

/After dinner mint...

roycarl

You must be loads of fun at a party.

When i was a little boy growing up in Oaxaca, my older brothers would gather tarantulas to toast over the fire during christmas. I once boiled an entire pot of salamanders and made a good christmas soup.

ShouldBeStudying

Yes, how can you forget the cheese??? A guest once asked, "Are those potatoes?"

/Tally-ho sucks

Every year for X-mas eve we have lefse rolled around swedish meatballs, gravy, and mashed taters. The current record is 4.75, personal is 3 and I'm a fat bastard.
Mom hated lutefisk as a kid and never made it. Smelt it once at grandma's house. Bad news.

For X-mas, one unusual but delicious thing is Apple Salad.
Core, peel, and dice some apples. I think you put some lemon juice on to keep from browning. Fold into a large amount of sweetened whipped cream and serve on seperate plate to keep the turkey gravy out!!! Cannot be beat.

/NOT a desert!!
// You can see why I'm a fat bastard
///Honestly thought this was an X-mas thread, forgot aboot your 'merican thanksgiving. We had ours in October.

Beef cubelets, now on their third generation of preparation in my family. My grandmother came up with the recipe after eating something similar at a diner in the 50's and they refused to tell her how they made it.

Cube some steak into 1-inch cubes, marinate it overnight in your choice of seasonings (75% red wine vinegar/25% olive oil with asssorted spices works well), then bread the meat with flour and deep-fry until cooked. Makes a hell of a mess when preparing it, but it's probably the tastiest damn food on the planet. Since it's about as good for you as a deep-fried Snickers bar, we only cook them once or twice a year. We usually serve with fresh onion rings (hey, the deep fryer's already out and cooking, after all) and corn on the cob, and it's probably the only "meal" I look forward to anymore now that I'm old enough to have to prepare Thanksgiving food and not just sit back and eat what's put in front of me.

ArcadianRefugee: I just miss the Thanksgiving monster movie marathon.

OMG!!11!11!!ONE!! It wasn't Thanksgiving without a viewing of Mighty Joe Young in Grandma's front room! WOR rocked! As did WABC when the 4 O'clock movie featured Godzilla week!

I like Whisker bisquits, Hair pie, and Fur burgers.
Topped with my delicius choda.

my family is pretty normal, with the exception of the velvet cream & mincemeat pies.



\\mmm, good ole mincemeat

Green Stuff:

Cool Whip
Pistachio Pudding mix
Pineapple bits

BEST HOLIDAY FOOD EVER!

/Holds the family record for eating 3 batches in one sitting
//Made them make more

"GRANDMA CORN"

A depression era recipe invented by my depression-era Grandma. It's a godawful mixture of canned cream corn, mixed with crackers (to make the corn go farther), and baked to a Golden crisp. To make it "fancy," my aunt adds oysters.

Yes, oysters. Oysters and canned cream corn.

It tastes as good as it sounds, and smells as goos as it tastes.

Green Bean Casserole got me cut off for a month. One Easter, we delayed dinner until my sister showed up. By the time she arrived (about 4 hours late), I had far too much to drink. Everyone in the family knows my favorite dish is the GD Casserole. Anyway, after 4 hours of waiting and the extra libation, I sais something like Green Bean Casserole is better than sex. Some how my wife didn't think it was amusing.

Poor Mans Pate

Put one large container of Pimento cheese spead in a blender and add on can of Spam with two cups of Salad Dressing. Blend well.

It's great with crackers or bread

Macaroni and cheese with cubed spam.

/could eat it for days

fritz

Peach salad incident, eh?

Sounds like a jam band.

roycarl: Probably nobody outside of Wisconsin ever heard of this one: RAW ground beef, spread on cocktail rye bread, with onions and salt & pepper. Very Germanic/Polish.

I've always known those as cannibal sandwiches, and are quite tasty in fact. I haven't had them in years though. You want to use ground round or better though to lessen the chance of bacteria and worms

We always used to have homemade pickled peaches, but nobody makes them anymore. They're pickled whole, peeled and with whole cloves stuck into the peach. I miss them.

For those of you to whom it isn't completely obvious, yes, I'm southern. We pickle everything from eggs to pig's feet, neither of which I've ever eaten. I have had the pear salad that ShouldBeStudying mentions, though, a half a canned pear with a dollop of mayonnaise on top. It has to be Duke's mayonnaise. In my family we sprinkled it with grated cheddar cheese instead of topping it with a cherry. I was never too fond of it since I don't like canned pears.

Starting a few years ago, our household has been half vegetarian. For the first couple of years, we've fixed a Tofurkey. First year according to the directions. Meh. The stuffing inside is the worst part, you'd think they could do something better. Then off to a friend's house on the weekend for another vegetarian meal featuring a Tofurkey. Meh.

Last year, tried dressing it up with a zingy sweet cherry onion mustard marinade/relish. The relish was good, the Tofurkey was as dull and rubbery as ever. Meh.

After polishing off that entire Tofurkey by myself last year, I declared a moratorium on this bland spongy loaf. Carnivores will be gnawing on a turkey breast, and gazing longingly at the portobello wellington w/ madeira sauce that us vegetarians will be enjoying.

Just another sign that vegetarianism undermines traditional American family values. Huzzah.

I could live the rest of my life without another serving of English pea casserole with fried onion crunchies on top!

/blerrggghhhhh!
//drool
///ulp
////sniff
*goes to wash face*

We never have it (luckily) but my grandma always puts the giblets and hard-boiled eggs in her gravy. YACK.

I make deviled eggs using horseradish sauce instead of mustard. It gives them a bit of a kick.

Creamed Onions! Yum....

Oh, and try to served that can-shaped Cranberry Jelly... you'll get tossed out of the house. Fresh cranberry relish, thank you. I mean, c'mon, it's not hard: boil bag of C-berries with sugar and grated orange rind for 10 minutes. boom, you're done.

one of my holiday favorites is eating poon tang

Grandma.

Mmmmm, Thunderbird and GPC cigs.

/"Is this real ketchup, Clark?"

Asparagus, Egg and Cheese casserole

6T butter
3T chopped green pepper
3T grated onion
4T flour
2c milk
American cheese slices
1t salt
1/2t dry parsley
1/4t pepper
3 15oz cans asparagus, drained
8-10 hard boiled eggs
1c buttered bread crumbs

Sautee green peppers & onion in butter. Lower heat, blend in flour. Slowly add milk and cook until smooth & thick, stirring constantly. Add salt, pepper & parsley.

Slice eggs, alternate layers of asparagus, egg, cheese, bread crumbs, sauce. Bake in 350 oven 20 minutes.

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For Christmas Eve, my wife's Slovak family makes a 'traditional' meal of: a whole clove of garlic eaten raw as an appetizer, brown saurkraut soup served over rock-hard balls of baked dough, and a bean soup. There is no meat served, and the kids are told they can't open presents until they taste each 'delicacy'... Merry Christmas!
/Oh, and the ride home is especially symphonic.

"They make jelly out of cranberries?"

/if you find this obscure, you don't know comedy.

beanish

You mean omnivores. Just because your family doesn't eat meat, doesn't mean that everyone else eats nothing but.

Thunderbird and GPC cigs.


Now thats living the high life

My mom always made corn fritters, and broiled bacon-wrapped pineapple chunks. MMmmmmm...chunks.

Mmmmmm... Welsh rarebit appetizer... you fry up some garlic in some olive oil, then melt a shiatload of cheese in it, mix in some beer, cook it until you're too hungry to wait any longer, then eat it with toast and wash it down with more beer.

Then you're too full to eat dinner. C'est la vie.