If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Sun Sentinel)   Sometimes the headlines don't need to be changed. "Katie Holmes thrown out of film over vibrating device"   (southflorida.com) divider line 104
    More: Weird  
•       •       •

35376 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Nov 2005 at 9:45 AM (8 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

104 Comments   (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
2005-11-22 08:42:14 AM  
"You don't understand vibrators like I do, Matt!"
2005-11-22 08:47:36 AM  
Well, what's a beard to do, you know?
2005-11-22 08:51:16 AM  
How on earth would a vibrator against your belly be soothing for a baby? My baby starts kicking like crazy as soon as the cat sits on my lap and starts purring.

They must be completely insane if they think it's ok to use a loud buzzing device in a movie theater anyway. You'd think, being actors themselves they would have a little more respect for where they are.

This couple gets weirder by the day.

2005-11-22 08:53:56 AM  
They must be completely insane if they think it's ok to use a loud buzzing device in a movie theater anyway. You'd think, being actors themselves they would have a little more respect for where they are.

Brevity, IamPatSajak! Learn it, know it, use it!
2005-11-22 08:54:13 AM  
How would a loud buzzing thing shaking your "whole world" be comforting?

// is this a scientology thing? Maybe scaring the dead aliens away or something?
2005-11-22 08:58:34 AM  
That is going to be one screwed up kid.

Some researchers suggest that having too many ultrasounds can be harmful to a baby - imagine what this idiocy could do.
2005-11-22 09:04:43 AM  
Maybe theyre trying to dumb the kid down so he/she will believe in scientology
2005-11-22 09:05:42 AM  
I for one welcome our invitro-fertilized overlords.
2005-11-22 09:23:39 AM  
It must have been a screening of Brokeback Mountain.
2005-11-22 09:40:20 AM  
"Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but... every once in a while... it's a dildo. Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article 'a' dildo, never... 'your' dildo."
2005-11-22 09:48:08 AM  
No immaturity there, no sir.
2005-11-22 09:49:49 AM  
Jeezus, that kid is going to be a fscked up individual. Where is social services when you need them? Can't imagine how a vibrating thing can be soothing for the child. Hey Katie, try using it on your head first, and see if you like it, you idiot!
2005-11-22 09:50:39 AM  
Sigh....please come out of the closet Tom.
2005-11-22 09:50:52 AM  
So let me get this straight... Katie Holmes, in the process of scientologizing her succubus in utero, managed to piss off an entire movie theater to the point of getting tossed out.

Good for the movie theater.
2005-11-22 09:51:13 AM  

They must be completely insane if they think it's ok to use a loud buzzing device in a movie theater anyway. You'd think, being actors themselves they would have a little more respect for where they are.

You're glib. You don't even know what a movie theatre is. If you're going to talk about loud buzzing noises in a movie theatre you have to evaluate and read the research papers on how they came up with these theories of movie theatres, okay? That's what I've done.

/Cruise control
2005-11-22 09:51:14 AM  
2005-11-22 09:51:41 AM  
The fiancee of superstar Tom Cruise was holding a buzzing aid against her pregnant stomach, as she believes it is comforting to the foetus.

That's good. Wouldn't want to upset the band.
2005-11-22 09:52:33 AM  
Brokeback Mountain, I saw that preview. 2 hours about gay cowboys. I smell a bomb. Nothing against the gay people, but really, this thing has leather fetish all over it...

Oh and uh, pregnant biatches suck?
2005-11-22 09:52:36 AM  
She was just following the Katiegorical imperative. Don't be harsh, now.
2005-11-22 09:52:49 AM  
Dumb Mass!

/say phrase quickly
//have no patience for these two creepy individuals
///just sayin'
////still love teh slashies...
2005-11-22 09:53:19 AM  
foetus?....is that a scientology thing?
2005-11-22 09:53:34 AM  
I think we're all missing the really amazing thing here.
Someone was actually kicked out of a movie theater for disturbing the other patrons!
I thought that sort of thing went out with Technicolor.
2005-11-22 09:53:46 AM  
It's the official Hubbard electric fetal thetan chisle. Keeps your baby thetan free. From the makers of Xenu-B-Gone.
2005-11-22 09:53:54 AM  
Good. Kick her Scientologist ass to the curb.
2005-11-22 09:55:11 AM  
I smell a miscarriage.
2005-11-22 09:55:57 AM  
They are having a foetus?
2005-11-22 09:56:24 AM  
The fiancee of superstar Tom Cruise

Wait... they're not even married yet? Oh, won't someone think of the children!!!!???
2005-11-22 09:57:16 AM  
2005-11-22 09:57:26 AM  
What are the chances that this kid is going to be screwed up?

2005-11-22 09:59:22 AM  

The theater probably did them a favor... probably was some gay cowboys putting on mascara and eating pudding...
2005-11-22 10:00:09 AM  
Q: How does a Scientologist get pregnant?

A: Well when the mommy-beard and daddy love publicity very very very much, and Xemu and the spirit of LRH have time to come and watch, the daddy sticks his turkey baster into the mommy-beard's. . .
2005-11-22 10:01:08 AM  
Tomorrow's headlines.......

'Tom Cruise Slays 8!'

Creepiest. Guy. Ever.
2005-11-22 10:02:33 AM  
Two words to say about Katie Holmes... 'immensely slappable'.
2005-11-22 10:03:01 AM  
: I KANT believe you made that joke!

/I'm sure it was some neo-natal E-meter.
//Xenu approves of this message
2005-11-22 10:03:12 AM  
"Mom, Tom Curise won't come out of the closet!"
2005-11-22 10:03:28 AM  
"People didn't care that she was a star," a witness said. "They just wanted to see the movie."

No way, really?!
2005-11-22 10:03:58 AM  
dude. just...dude.
2005-11-22 10:04:44 AM  
At least she wasn't a Ginger... they have no souls!
2005-11-22 10:04:52 AM  
bwhahahahah...bhwhahhahahahahahaha...Katie..bahwhhwhwhwhwhwhwhwhwhhwhwhaahhaha h...buzz..buzz...buzz...bahhahhahahah......our baby is going to be special...buzz..zzzzzzz..buzzzzzzzz...

/crazy Cruise
2005-11-22 10:05:06 AM  
This was the best Episode of South park has had in 2 years.
2005-11-22 10:05:06 AM  
I would like to request the Tom zapping Oprah gif.

Thanks in advance.
2005-11-22 10:05:50 AM  
"Dad, Tom Cruise won't come out of the closet."
/Best episode ever of South Park
//They must have said that line like 20 times during the episode.
///Katie Holmes: I'd hit it
2005-11-22 10:09:01 AM  
Did anyone catch the closing credits all the names were either John smith or Jane smith.
2005-11-22 10:09:27 AM  
It's really amazing... two years ago, even one year, Tom Cruise was still **Tom Cruise** and Katie Holmes was kitten-fodder for every male with functioning eyes. And people genuinely "liked" them as well, as celebrities go anyway.

But they get together, and embark on the Xenu kick, and suddenly they're the universal laughing stock. As it should be, mind you, I'm just wondering what it must be like to be them.

"Hey.... don't you people like me anymore....??" (sniff)

Anyway, good for them that they kicked her out of the theatre, I hope a few people told her to phuq off on her way out the door.

/ get on the ship and blast off, Tom and Katie
// buh bye now
2005-11-22 10:11:05 AM  
This was the best Episode of South park has had in 2 years.

I'd say it was the best one since "The Truth About Mormons", which I watched with a friend a few weeks ago, following which we had a big discussion on the fact that they needed to do a scientology episode. Needless to say, the South Park gods answered our prayers.
2005-11-22 10:11:32 AM  
I know, but it's obligatory.
2005-11-22 10:12:27 AM  
Just how goddamned thoughtless and self-centered do you have to be?


It must be terrible for Katie Holmes to have to deal with the Great Unwashed Masses (i.e., anyone who isn't Tom Cruise).
2005-11-22 10:13:08 AM  
2005-11-22 09:40:20 AM smackem yackem

"Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor, but... every once in a while..."

Glad I'm not the only one who thought that :)
2005-11-22 10:13:08 AM  
Her little oven bun gets plenty of stimulating vibrations every time she talks. That's thought to be how babies bond to the sound of their mother's voice.

I imagine a monotonous electrical hum would do more harm than good, by drowinging out mom's voice and providing none of the stimulating dynamics of the human voice.
2005-11-22 10:14:16 AM  
Here's the picture of Katie & Tom exiting the Theater:

Displayed 50 of 104 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »