Almost half the men who answered IU survey questions about their latest sexual encounters with women admitted they waited too long to put on a condom or took it off too soon.

How dumb can you really be about this? Especially the part about taking it off too soon? What, are they taking it off while they're still inside the woman? And how would one do that, exactly?

That is awesome, why in the fark would you take it off too soon?

What is the point of putting it on at all if you take it off for the fun part?

Needs an Indiana Tag.

I don't get it. How the hell can a condom be used incorrectly? Even if you have no goddamn clue on how to use them, there's instructions right inside the box.

Perhaps this means that if you can't read, you shouldn't be having sex.

And none of this should be taught in schools. Parents are already shirking too many of their duties, this shouldn't be added to the list.

Rawnblade [TotalFark]: I don't get it. How the hell can a condom be used incorrectly?

ummmm

/hates image protection scripts that work on preview

lordargent

Well, I know that condoms can be used for a variety of things, but when it comes down to their primary use, I just don't understand how anyone can fark that up.

Ignorance springs eternal

lordargent: /hates image protection scripts that work on preview

lol. yeah - been there, done that. though not quite as humorously as you. thanks for the laugh, at both pics

See 40 Year Old Virgin condom scene for specifics.

Okay... hicup... insteructions... hickup ... open with finhickupgers... mmm beer hickup... mmm woman... hickup.

Didn't Indiana also legislatively state that pi=4?

Methinks the state was lost long ago...

Isn't it sad that people who do not know how to use a condom are more likely to become parents?

Squeal like a pig!

If you live in rural America like I do, complaining is a national pastime - trust me on this one.....

Thney athow make hnoo talk fhunny.

Survival of the fittest MY ASS!

This article clearly demonstrates why I always let my right hand make it's own choices with respect to birth control and disease prevention.

strobe: Survival of the fittest MY ASS!

so uh, are you saying that your ass the fittest or something?

that's quite a bold claim

Things like this make me so proud...... Being a hoosier like I am


/Dr Fever wishes he lived elsewhere

An old girlfriend told me a story about a guy she meet her sophomore year in college. They were about to get it on and he was taking a long time putting on a condom. She saw that he was trying to stuff his balls in it. In helping him correct his error, he made a messy eliminating the need for it anyway.

NOTE: there are diagrams inside the box

I almost always try putting it on backwards first.

/Not rural

Many people can tell when they're about to climax. They go through all the other aspects of sex unprotected, then put the condom on right before ejaculation. This is much more risky than using it properly (putting it on as soon as erect) as miniscule amounts of fluids will flow before climax. I really don't however, think that this is as obvious as most here think. Therefore, I'm assuming that the majority here on Fark didn't know this and are probably high risk for using a condom incorrectly.

As for the people who take them off to soon (climax, throw away the condom, keep going) well, they are a little sillier, unless they clean up real good (in which case they are still doing it wrong).

/PSA
//They also make damn crappy water balloons because of how hard they are to get to break.

dudes, aids is scary.

the first time i got tested, and the only reason i did was because of something totally stupid (upon reflection, anyway).

at that time i was soooo scared, so ready to just kill myself by the end of the two-week waiting period for the results. on my way to the clinic all i could see was that ID card they give you with a serial number on it, and a bridge that was nearby. I had a fast car, i mean a really really fast car. the rear was geared for speed not 1/4 mile stuff, but it could hit 170 and stay on the ground.

i pictured if i was positive, there was this perfect straightway before the toll booths, and this "zipper" barricade. if i hit it just right i could hit the barricade and literally launch into the river, way way below, (betsy ross), going down in flames and at least make the news, not take anyone out at all at 4am. i knew the best time to do it.

god damn.

all that from a cute piece of ass.

/was negative, again stupid reason, but have had friends that have killed themselves after they found out.

I call shenanigans. Have you ever tried to take a condom off "too soon"?

mytzlplyk

kinda surprised that he couldnt do that actually...condoms are pretty elastic. see the head pic up above.

This is why the stupid people are outbreeding the smart people. Teenagers should be taught sexual responsibility. They need to know how to protect themselves. Hell, everyone knows that they're going to fark anyway, with or without the benefit of sex education.

LittleBrother: This is much more risky than using it properly (putting it on as soon as erect) as miniscule amounts of fluids will flow before climax.

Put it on before foreplay? That's just awkward.

How responsible Hoosiers are about sex isn't clear. The teenage pregnancy rate dropped by 11 percentage points from 1999 to 2003, according to the Indiana State Department of Health.
But reports of chlamydia and other sexually transmitted diseases jumped about 12 percent in the same period, according to the Department of Health.


Methinks there is a correlation there...


How hard is it to use a condom? seriously...

I think that it's considered incorrect usage to get the naughty parts anywhere near each other before the condom is on. Even prior to penetration there are fluids around that could theoretically transmit diseases.

This_is_real:

This is why the stupid people are outbreeding the smart people. Teenagers should be taught sexual responsibility.

And if their parents won't let you, what are you going to do, shoot them?

/sorry

D3_WR: Methinks there is a correlation there...

11-12% more teenage women started taking the pill?

The way I read the article is that its not a question of knowing how to use it properly, its an issue of men getting fed up with it and taking it off.

Best 'condom as chewing gum scene' ever.

This thread is meaningless without a Boobies link.....

This thread is meaningless without a Boobies link.....

Yeah, where have they been? I haven't seen one in a month. Is drew trying to con us into TotalFark.

...I will not cave.

lame headline

/drta
/drtt didnt read the thread

and oh ya

guilty

and oh ya

shadowspan

feel for ya

queenin: Yeah, where have they been? I haven't seen one in a month. Is drew trying to con us into TotalFark.

...I will not cave.

Wow, you're right. There was a SFW picture of Jeff Bagwell's wife and an Adobe advertisement with pokey nipples on October 25th.

But the last NSFW Boobies link that I saw in my quick scan of the archives was on October 23rd.

Sucks to be you.

But a lot of the TF Boobies links are pretty milquetoast, too.

Explains what's going on in Kansas.

Darwin doesn't always protect the best and the brightest.

Just to be sure, I usually put the condom on prior to picking up my date.

queenin, google john dx. for all your boobie needs.

Calling all Farkers!

If somebody can find a way to incorporate pics from the Simpsons episode where Lisa is thinking of going vegetarian and has qualms about eating lamb into this thread, the trifecta will be complete! Last two threads had pics from that scene of that episode.

Who will be today's hero?

/unfortunately, I have no ps skills

D3_WR


How responsible Hoosiers are about sex isn't clear. The teenage pregnancy rate dropped by 11 percentage points from 1999 to 2003, according to the Indiana State Department of Health.
But reports of chlamydia and other sexually transmitted diseases jumped about 12 percent in the same period, according to the Department of Health.


Methinks there is a correlation there...


How hard is it to use a condom? seriously...

What about the increase in the amount of... buttsecks?

Sorry dont have any bandwidth yet no pic for joo

shadowback
zipperback
what i was relating to was the mothodicallity of 170 off
a barrier
to a river

sweet

having to do it on aids
is one thing

pregnancy test result
was my albatross

RockIsDead:

Nah, just a futile hope that the general population would wise up a little.

/some of my family are homeschoolin' fundies
//they don't need to be shot, perhaps just slapped

elchip
Put it on before foreplay? That's just awkward.

I think that doing so is required for it to be used "properly" according to most of the people in health departments etc. But between you and me (and all of Fark) you're probably ok so long as you have it on before first penetration.

So yes, you are probably one of the people who use a condom "incorrectly" kinda funny isn't it?

/I am not a medical professional
//I don't play one on TV
///I didn't even sleep in a Holiday Inn Express
////I take no responcibility for any STD or offspring resulting from proper or improper use of this post
/////Ask your doctor or another health professional

Just to be sure, I usually put the condom on prior to picking up my date.

That was in a Bill Cosby routine, wasn't it?

"And he was WEARING it!"

There should be a spray on condom.

"Using incorrectly" in this case meaning 'using on their cousins.'

Man, I remember the first time I tried to use one of those things--young and stupid, fumbling with that thing in the dark. Yeesh.

I also remember the first (and only) time I had one break. Woah. Freaky. That was one nervous month of waiting. Didn't help that my girlfriend would tell me, every day, "you know, my dad will kill you."

No Such Agency

Nope. Bill Cosby had his unit laminated several years ago.
He got the idea from the skin that forms on Jello pudding.

They need a basic biology class or two. Humans and horses can't get each other pregnant.

I always thought it should be the woman's job to make sure the condom was on correctly - I mean, aren't they the ones who have um, 'the most to gain' from it being done wrong?

Plus, it's much better to have the girl put the condom on you. (Not necessarily with her hand.)

I teach at Indiana University, and given the 18 year old freshman I see, Fark definitely needs and 'Indiana' tag because of the horrifying truth of stories just like this.

WTF? Put it on too late? Take it off too early? OK, maybe there ARE some people that will benefit from "abstainance only".

mugen.: They need a basic biology class or two. Humans and horses can't get each other pregnant.

Then how do you explain Paris Hilton?

PSA: Condoms don't stop the spread of The Herpes.

/end PSA

Of course. The red states like to make more babies on welfare so that the blue states can support them.

/Let's get political, political
//I want to get political
///Let's get into political
////Let me hear your slashies talk

:-D

purplesmoke420: PSA: Condoms don't stop the spread of The Herpes.

Your views are intriguing. Please send me some of your literature.

Here's what they mean by taking one off 'too soon':

It means not holding it on with your hand during withdrawal (after ejaculation). Otherwise, your peener loses volume and the condom could easily slip off into the woman.

And now back to your discussion.

TheWrongTrousers

"peener loses volume"?!?!?

Man those are just voices in your head. Do not let them convince you that your peener is talking to you.

I listened to mine once. Never again.

ha! im from rulalal amrika an' i shure do know how to use dem kondums! i ant ever used one wrong kuz i neva even used one! take that white cotes!

TheWrongTrousers
Here's what they mean by taking one off 'too soon':

It means not holding it on with your hand during withdrawal (after ejaculation). Otherwise, your peener loses volume and the condom could easily slip off into the woman.

And now back to your discussion.

Yep... you always have to grab it by the base when taking it out. I find that when you're getting your chick from behind you HAVE to do this after you're done.

So now that I have told everyone the most intimate details on my sex life...

W. T. F. ?

headline made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

mugen.: Humans and horses can't get each other pregnant.

Well, not only that, but I think Camilla is too old anyway.

/Nay?

Einen es haffen nein kluen vat das kartunen es meanen!


/gourden das penishandelschaft

Top-notch headline, Submitter.

"We think, by exaggerating the safety of sex, that many young people end up trusting their health to a piece of latex that may not protect them," said Esther Meier, director of Creating Positive Relationships, a Carmel nonprofit program that teaches abstinence to about 50,000 children statewide through schools and churches.

And by not emphasizing any form of protection, or by exaggerating the failure of contraceptives young people opt to do without because they're "bound to fail anyway" or because they're so innefective they're next to useless, or because they're just plain ignorant that such methods exist.

Truth > morals
Teaching facts about condoms and condom useage > ignorance

clevershark

purplesmoke420 is actually correct. Herpes sores are often all around the genital area, in places not covered by the condom. It's quite possible (although maybe not probable) for one partner to pick up viral particles from the other even when using a condom. And herpes patients can also shed viruses even when they aren't having a full-blown outbreak. No really good way to protect against HSV.

/biology and sex-ed teacher
//thinks abstinence-only is the best way to increase the teenage anal sex rate

Zyklon B. Goode: W.T.F.?

This the F. (from some healthguide site for all your incontinental needs):

"Condom catheter or Texas catheter. This is a special condom that fits over the penis and is attached to a tube that collects urine. Condom catheters are only for short-term use, because long-term use increases the risk of urinary tract infections, damage to the penis from friction with the condom, and urethral blockage."

/see, condoms can be bad for you

Alegria
//thinks abstinence-only is the best way to increase the teenage anal sex rate

Yeah... no matter how many times I tried to use that line ... I still always ended up failing. =)

Rural women know how to put condoms on me. Isn't that what matters?

/city boy

/if I want your opinion, I'll fap it outta ya

Nobody ever said evolution means progress.

Sometimes survival of the fittest involves immunity to a pandemic that leaves 99% of the population dead. The "fittest" may be genetically inferior in many ways, but they have what it takes to survive.

Intelligence is not necessarily something that is evolutionarily beneficial. This is especially true if the intelligence in question is the intelligence required to use birth control, therefore reducing the chances of your genes moving on.

In other words, evolution favors stupid people (with good immune systems).

Usage of Condoms (pops)
With Pictures for all you stupid illiterate people.

Not only do the inbred hicks not like Trojan gum, they really don't care for the taste of Kentucky Jelly either.

By Staci Hupp Men
what a name to go through life with

Most rural men prefer to use lambskin condoms, not latex. It feels like the first time! (If you're a farm boy, that is)

She doesn't believe lessons about condom use belong at school.
"If they're going to have sex, they need to research how to use condoms themselves," Rosenberger said. Then she added: "But honestly, I don't think they would."

Erm... roughly translated...

"We shouldn't teach them. They should learn themselves. They're not learning themselves. We shouldn't teach them."

well, Indiana... here's to another ten years of your disease-ridden population boom.

erire13: Usage of Condoms (pops)
With Pictures for all you stupid illiterate people.

Thanks! I always thought you were supposed to pull them on like a sock.

Like peanuts at a baseball game or popcorn at the movies, condom chewing gum makes the perfect ringside snack for an evening of Garthog narfling viewing.

erire13

You get the prize. Funniest thing I've seen all day.

Survey shows rural men more likely to use [insert any plural noun here] incorrectly.

There, now it's fixed.

I'm probably posting too late again but...

I have a friend who's husband is a legal aid attorney, he had a case where two couples from a rural area went parking, one couple in front seat, one in back. Couple in front uses a condom, couple in back doesn't have one. Couple in back takes used condom and turns it inside out and uses it. Girl from back seat gets pregnant. After DNA testing, turns out guy from front seat is the father, he's now paying child support.

mamoru

"Intelligent people tend to breed less or not at all compared to less intelligent (or at least less informed) people. Will the poor, ignorant masses are breeding like rabbits, the intelligent, wealthy, etc. folks have few kids and sometimes no kids at all."

Maybe you're right. I was in Germany recently, visiting an uncle there. He told me Germany has a population problem, not enough people. I asked him why. He said it's because the woman have become educated, and educated women don't have children, or at least not enough to sustain the population. This, of course, is just his opinion. But I wonder if he's right....

strobe

"Survival of the fittest MY ASS!"

This is a classic misunderstanding of what that actually means.

It's not about intelligence, or health, or a good quality of life, it's about procreation and passing on your genes, no matter how screwed up or loony you are to everyone else.

If you only manage to live until 30 years of age in absolute pain and misery but manage to have 10 kids who survive to adulthood, then you are more evolutionarily "fit" than the healthy sensible intelligent person who doesn't have children at all, because when you die, your genes go with you.

I just wanna know why they used an underweight black woman in the "female condom" instructions...


beyond the fact that most whores get doublenailed...