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(MSNBC)   In light of the avian bird flu hype, MSNBC asks if your Thanksgiving turkey is safe. EVERYBODY PANIC   ( divider line
    More: Stupid  
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7815 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Nov 2005 at 1:28 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

133 Comments     (+0 »)

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2005-11-02 10:12:29 AM  
Mmmmm...flu-licious! Stuff it with tamiflu. It'll be fine.
2005-11-02 10:20:43 AM  
Yeah the turkey is safe, but Uncle Todd got into the cranberry sauce again.
2005-11-02 10:27:14 AM  
"Is it safe?"
[image from too old to be available]
2005-11-02 10:28:03 AM  
And by "got into the cranberry sauce" I mean "had sex with the cranberry sauce."

I forgot that you people couldn't see me thrusting my hips and winking.
2005-11-02 10:29:55 AM  
I thought you only did that with apple pie Cake?

/Gobble, gobble, gaaaa *thud*
2005-11-02 10:30:39 AM  
I honestly don't care if I get bird flu from that turkey. It's going to be too delicious to resist. My mom makes a huge bird every year in a slow roaster that was made in 1954 that she inherited from my great-grandmother.

Last year I got appointed gravy guru. Some kosher salt, a kick of the liebfraumilch, some watered flour, and a good eye are pretty much all you need to add to the drippings to make a good matching gravy for the turkey. And my uncle cuts the bird in a filet pattern so everybody gets a bit of white meat.

Mmmmm... *mouth waters*
2005-11-02 10:32:01 AM  
My Thanksgiveing turkey is not safe...He will be deader-n-hell and served up on a plate with dressing an giblet gravy in just a few short weeks...
2005-11-02 10:39:03 AM  

You can't make gravy out of giblets, the cats need some Thanksgiving too!
2005-11-02 10:39:26 AM  
Is Tom Turkey the new Grim Reaper?

Tune in at eleven!
2005-11-02 10:40:00 AM  

I'll thank you to note that it was my uncle Todd who had sex with the cranberry sauce.

Man, no matter how many times I have to say that, I just can't seem to get used to it.
2005-11-02 10:40:10 AM  
Everybody make tofurkey!

[image from too old to be available]

Or not.
2005-11-02 10:43:27 AM  
woodpecker from mars

It's... a loaf. Yeeeek.
2005-11-02 10:48:29 AM  
Cake Hunter... don't let Uncle Todd near the kitchen when stuffing the bird.

/... making gravy.
2005-11-02 10:48:49 AM  
We tend to have Italian holiday feasts.

Romano cheese stuffed artichokes
Salt-pork and rice
Fried cod
Cabbage and cod soup
Homemade macaroni with anchovies-garlic-olive oil.

What was my point?

Oh yes. No bird flu this season. Again. Sigh.

/Growing up, I envied your lasagna
2005-11-02 10:52:08 AM  
soze: You can't make gravy out of giblets, the cats need some Thanksgiving too!

No cats...dogs...they get the neck and "schniggles" as we carve up the bird...mamarita gets way pissed, but she gets over it...And the pups just love it!
2005-11-02 10:56:53 AM  

am i getting through to you?
[image from too old to be available]
2005-11-02 11:01:36 AM  
One year for Thanksgiving, I made spaghetti and meatballs. It was damn tasty, too.
2005-11-02 11:05:55 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2005-11-02 11:09:28 AM  
Thera: One year for Thanksgiving, I made spaghetti and meatballs.

We always make Italian on Thanksgiving. We make turkey, mashed potatoes and sweet potatoes just because we are supposed to, but we always have lasagna or baked ziti with it. And stuffed mushrooms. YUM. My dad makes the BEST stuffed mushrooms.
2005-11-02 11:20:53 AM  
I made a Tofurky in my year of being vegetarian. They recommended basting it in orange juice to keep it moist. Of course that pretty much just burned, making the foil stick to the tofu-blob rendering it inedible.

Now that I lapsed back into the meat, I am looking forward to a real bird this year.

I do however miss the righteous indignation and moral highground I could take that year, my year of being vegetarian.
2005-11-02 11:30:25 AM  

I'm always really cold when I don't get enough meat, even on protein- and fat-loaded veggie diets that pack the butter in. Not sure why. The Boyfriend doesn't mind though, it means he gets more steaks in the winter.

The Boyfriend's brother is vegetarian. The one time so far I have hosted his family in my home for a holiday I am very glad we went out to eat (Jack's Oyster House in Albany, btw; excellent excellent excellent). Whenever I make a vegetarian meal it just feels like I'm making a big side dish. Perhaps I just feel that a big eggplant isn't a very good meal centerpiece.
2005-11-02 11:34:50 AM  
soze: I'm always really cold when I don't get enough meat,

I think you just solved The Mystery of the Vegetarian Daughter Who Was Always Cold.
2005-11-02 11:48:48 AM  

You would be hard-pressed to find a baked ziti in most of Italy. Specifically, the Abruzzi (Abrutze) area. Same for you Thera

Don't think I envy you any the less.

/Family of "off the boat" peasants
2005-11-02 11:52:23 AM  
If I've got nothing better to do than point out that avian bird flu is a tautology, I might as well go for a couple of beers. TTFN.
2005-11-02 12:24:11 PM  
I don't celebrate bullshiat Thanksgiving.
Sit around like some fool and eat Turkey?
Thats the day your forefathers jerked me.
2005-11-02 12:25:17 PM  
Why not just up the ante and double your risk with a Turducken? Are you man enough or are you too scared? What's the matter? Are you chicken?
2005-11-02 12:43:35 PM  
Just stay away from the mashed potatos because, well, you know.
2005-11-02 12:44:45 PM  
Maybe this is God's way of paying whitey back for giving all those innocent Indians blankets full of small pox.
2005-11-02 12:51:26 PM  
Will 350o for 5 hours kill the virus?
2005-11-02 01:08:55 PM  
Here come the stress puppies!
2005-11-02 01:10:43 PM  
Meh, in a friends apartment complex they removed the hot tub by the pool because the rumor was that there were gays having sex in the hot tub and so the hot tub had AIDS.

//big surprise
2005-11-02 01:20:57 PM  
i'm just worried about the mashed potatoes.
2005-11-02 01:30:48 PM  
Forget the turkey... What about my Hot wings?
[image from too old to be available]

Mmmmmm Hot wings....
2005-11-02 01:35:14 PM  
I'm not worried about the mashed potatoes....

....the gravy, on the other hand....

//no special sauce, please.
2005-11-02 01:35:35 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
/One Sick Turkey
2005-11-02 01:35:52 PM  
The Righteous Shall consume spagetti and meatballs on Thanksgiving, if they are Truly Thankful.

//screw Cranberry sauce. Me likey Garlic toast
2005-11-02 01:36:14 PM  
I think it's safe if you cook it until the bullet-pop-up timer puts a hole in the side of the oven.
2005-11-02 01:36:43 PM  

You could always make those gigantic turkey leg wings you get at the Renaissance Fair... just keep it at a safe distance from the Falconer.
2005-11-02 01:38:10 PM  
why roast turky for all damn day. DEEP FRY biatches.
2005-11-02 01:38:54 PM  
Seriously though...

If it currently can only be contracted by handling infected birds, then I would think that there would be long and easily-traced line of sick people that would identify a bad bird, well before it makes it to your kitchen.

Unless you get fresh, maybe.
2005-11-02 01:39:48 PM  
smackem yackem wins
2005-11-02 01:40:36 PM  
Yes, but what about turducken? Turducken sounds like a supervirus.
2005-11-02 01:40:43 PM  
If Thanksgiving is going to be that type of party I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatos.
2005-11-02 01:42:23 PM  
MSNBC is the equivalent of your local news broadcast.

"Good evening, I'm Linda Hamilton, and welcome to channel 8 eyewitness news. Your next meal could kill you. Millions dead after eating a toxic food that is probably killing you as I speak! Here's a hint: it's the most common ingredient in your food! But first! Sports with Dick Dickers!"
2005-11-02 01:42:48 PM  
My giblets are itching.
2005-11-02 01:43:05 PM  
Is it that time of year when folks start posting links and taling about Trudunkin?
2005-11-02 01:43:14 PM  
MMM... that reminds me, time to dust off the old Alton Brown Infused turkey recipe.
2005-11-02 01:43:21 PM  

Why not just up the ante and double your risk with a Turducken?

Wouldn't that triple your risk?
2005-11-02 01:43:43 PM  
With the current situation, our concern is that weve set the stage for an overreaction, DeHaven says.

More like distraction. Funny how, every time the current administration goes through a rough patch, they tend to tell us about some sort of terrorist "threat" or other "bad, bad thing." Why? To take our minds off the fact that they're screwing up at every single turn.

Distraction politics. Dirty pool, old man...
2005-11-02 01:44:53 PM  
If I've got nothing better to do than point out that avian bird flu is a tautology...

It's not exactly what I would call a tautology. I know people use tautology that way, to simply mean "something redundant", but "tautology" is better used to refer to a logical form of statement whereby the statement is necessarily true. Like saying "people who are taller than 6ft. are taller than people who are shorter than 6ft." It requires no other information or argument, but just an understanding of what's being said is sufficient to prove the statement is true.

"Avian bird flu", however, is merely redundant.

Now what's the deal with avian flu this year? Why all the scare? How many people have died of this, and where?
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