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(The Sun)   Keira Knightley wants to contractually obligate her leading men to make out with her, can kiss "Mission Impossible 4" role goodbye   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 103
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32081 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Oct 2005 at 4:40 AM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



103 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2005-10-25 12:32:04 AM  
In other news, millions of farkers move to Hollywood to audition for movies.
 
2005-10-25 12:36:50 AM  
Exactly, sign me up.
 
2005-10-25 12:43:35 AM  
According to Domino, feuding gang members can be soothed with a lapdance from Keira Knightley.

I buy that.
 
2005-10-25 12:51:36 AM  
slut...I love you Keira
 
2005-10-25 02:03:40 AM  
I know I can be soothed by a lapdance from Keira Knightley

/champagne room?
 
2005-10-25 04:00:43 AM  
currently working on Pirates Of The Caribbean 2 & 3 alongside Johnny Depp

Glad to see Hollywood is keping the status qou of remaking mediocre movies and sequels nobody will ever give a shiat about... and they blame pirating for the reason they can't make money.

/BTW, she's Hawt
 
2005-10-25 04:48:06 AM  
yeah pirates.... arrrrrr

yeah, i wouldn't make out with her unless it was in my contract... yep....
 
2005-10-25 04:48:30 AM  
I hope she wants to be in my movie.
 
2005-10-25 04:49:26 AM  
EL_FABREZ: Mediocre? Nobody will give a shiat? I take it you've never seen PotC, or heard about how it was one of the biggest commercial and critical successes of 2003? You know, the one that grossed around $305M in box-office sales alone?
 
2005-10-25 04:50:31 AM  
Arrhhh contractual booty!
 
2005-10-25 04:53:13 AM  
Just replace leading men with leading partners and distribute her in the next ten "Charlie's Angels" movies.

/mmmm
 
2005-10-25 04:53:16 AM  
In other news, Keira Knightley has a movie out and knows that if she says something saucy, she gets free publicity and you nimrods will be all over it like fire ants on a three-year old.
 
2005-10-25 04:56:23 AM  
Way too skinny for me. No hips & ass = no care. I'm into women, not teenage boys. Nice face though.
 
2005-10-25 04:58:47 AM  
2005-10-25 04:53:16 AM dukefluke

You do know "Nimrod" means "Great Hunter", right?

-Laughs at people who use words and don't know what they mean, especially when trying to insult others.
 
2005-10-25 05:01:16 AM  
nimrod Audio pronunciation of "Nimrod" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (nmrd)
n.

1. also Nimrod A hunter.
2. Informal. A person regarded as silly, foolish, or stupid.

ass
 
2005-10-25 05:02:39 AM  
totalsecurity - "You do know "Nimrod" means "Great Hunter", right?"

That'd be "Nimrod" with a capital "N", who was a hunter from the Old Testament.

With a small "n", it means a person who is silly, foolish or stupid, probably from a Bugs Bunny cartoon where "nimrod" was used to insult Elmer Fudd.

"-Laughs at people who use words and don't know what they mean, especially when trying to insult others."

Go get a mirror, chuckles.
 
2005-10-25 05:04:29 AM  
I may be a moran, but

I'D HIT THAT
 
2005-10-25 05:06:57 AM  
After RTFA, apparently this only cuts if you are Johnny Depp.

Which, sadly, I am not.
 
2005-10-25 05:08:11 AM  
I'd hit it after giving it a sandwich.

Unless it refused said sandwich, in which case I'd just hit it.
 
2005-10-25 05:12:19 AM  
2005-10-25 05:02:39 AM dukefluke

With a small "n", and misused by an uneducated mullet-wearer, it means the person using it is silly, foolish or stupid.

Fixed it for you.
 
2005-10-25 05:18:30 AM  
I'd kiss her on the lips. Then kiss her on THE lips.

/got a whole can of nuthin' waitin' to be used
 
2005-10-25 05:19:00 AM  
Great headline submitter. Am i the only one that got the Tom Cruise = teh gay jab there?
 
2005-10-25 05:20:30 AM  
joe_mama: Great headline submitter. Am i the only one that got the Tom Cruise = teh gay jab there?


No. We just chose to ignore, or at least, I did. Personally, I think Richard Gere and Tom Cruise should make a movie called "Where is the Hampster?"
 
2005-10-25 05:22:30 AM  
epyonyx,
Nope, but its so cliched that....Oh yeah, forgot this was Fark.
 
2005-10-25 05:25:21 AM  
Did anyone RTFA and notice she was joking?

/'course not
//This is Fark.
 
2005-10-25 05:25:28 AM  
[image from fotosrv.com too old to be available]
 
2005-10-25 05:35:00 AM  
as a student filmmaker, i am very pleased by this. if nothing else, i could possibly at least experience the hotness of making out with keira knightley, if only in the third person.
 
2005-10-25 05:40:08 AM  
like fire ants on a three-year old.

Hahaha, I've never put a three year old out to test this but it made me laugh.
 
2005-10-25 05:40:20 AM  
I wish she'd hurry up and make more movies before she catches teh old and drops the sags.

/it's sad when that happens
 
2005-10-25 06:06:06 AM  
the camera loves her face

/obscure ?
 
2005-10-25 06:20:31 AM  
sexiest tomboy beanpole on the planet?
 
2005-10-25 06:21:00 AM  
Way too skinny for me. No hips & ass = no care. I'm into women, not teenage boys.

Thin is the new fat.
 
2005-10-25 06:31:08 AM  
Sorry guys, I'd love to chat but I'm off to Hollywood to audition for PotC2&3.

/I'd get paid to kiss Keira.
 
2005-10-25 06:32:43 AM  
She's a beautiful woman - but what's with that picture? Is it just me or does she look old/tired/ugh?
 
2005-10-25 06:32:54 AM  
totalsecurity

2005-10-25 05:02:39 AM dukefluke

With a small "n", and misused by an uneducated mullet-wearer, it means the person using it is silly, foolish or stupid.

Fixed it for you.


THAT is your comeback?

Yeesh. Hang it up, dude. You're done.
 
2005-10-25 06:34:11 AM  
How about a contractural obligation on her part to learn to farking act first?
 
2005-10-25 06:36:18 AM  
totalsecurity
2005-10-25 05:02:39 AM dukefluke

With a small "n", and misused by an uneducated mullet-wearer, it means the person using it is silly, foolish or stupid.

Fixed it for you.


You didn't really fix it though, did you? You just made a personal insult when dukefluke pointed out the legitimate slang useage of the word.

Here's a quote from the word usage note for the slang definition of "nimrod" in the Oxford Dictionary

"Though this sense isn't recorded in most standard dictionaries, it certainly exists and is well known among the younger generations. For now, it remains slang. But it surely threatens to kill off the hunter sense."

If you don't like language changing and evolving, you can always go back to speaking Proto-Indo-European.
 
2005-10-25 06:40:22 AM  
If she would grow her hair back out then this would happen for her.
 
2005-10-25 06:42:56 AM  
Someone needs to post those hi-res pics of her that are not airbrushed.... The ones that show all her facial hair.

/She's a wookie.
 
2005-10-25 06:52:23 AM  
joe_mama: Great headline submitter. Am i the only one that got the Tom Cruise = teh gay jab there?

Thought the same. Cruise probably is teh ghey though; after all, Mission Impossible was a ghey movie.
 
2005-10-25 07:07:33 AM  
here we go.

[image from picrank.com too old to be available]
 
2005-10-25 07:17:04 AM  
doublesecretprobation:

Boi-oi-oi-oi-oinnnnnng!
 
2005-10-25 07:20:26 AM  
That's cool, except for the fact that she's one of the undead and wants to drain "some" of the lifeforce from her co-stars, which is also in her contract.

/Mmmm_Depp_Lifeforce
//Got it from Madonna?
 
2005-10-25 07:24:06 AM  
Tie me up with gummi worms and spank me Keira Knightley.
 
2005-10-25 07:29:53 AM  
bakatare: I wish she'd hurry up and make more movies before she catches teh old and drops the sags.

Fortunately, with her body type, "teh sags" will affect her a lot less than some. Look at how well Sigourney Weaver aged, with no glaringly obvious plastic surgery either.

/prefers curvy women
/Keira is still uber-shaggable
 
2005-10-25 07:37:43 AM  
just cast her alongside Harvey Keitel, she'll drop it
 
2005-10-25 07:41:51 AM  
Sh'e clearly joking in this article.

I can't believe this s h i t was approved. It's not news.
 
2005-10-25 07:42:56 AM  
Just RTFA'd. Typical Sun 'story' out of a nothing remark.

neaorin Thread won, thread over!
 
2005-10-25 08:03:52 AM  
The 20-year-old told Company magazine: "Orlando is a marvellous kisser.


Well, whoever's going to snog her better hurry up because she's about to get smacked upside the head with a surf board.
 
2005-10-25 08:06:14 AM  
Ugh, she is so way below my standards.
 
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