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(CNN)   Creator of Melissa virus gets 20 months jailtime. Guess we already know what his nickname will be...   ( divider line
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4505 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 May 2002 at 5:04 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2002-05-01 01:52:32 PM  
Sweet. I've always said these jackasses need to get laid. 20 years ought to be enough time to get his fill of gay cock. Serves you right, 1337 haXoR.
2002-05-01 01:59:06 PM  
Dave? Smitty?

What do I win?
2002-05-01 02:16:13 PM  
2002-05-01 02:22:52 PM  
20 months, Scoots. Still plenty of time. ;)
2002-05-01 02:49:09 PM  
are you some kinda mo ron?
2002-05-01 03:37:27 PM  
Yeah, gotta proofread my posts a little better...20 months or 20 minutes, still sucks to be him. Maybe I'll drop him a line in prison:

Hi! How are you?
I send you this file in order to have your advice...
2002-05-01 05:08:39 PM  
2002-05-01 05:09:14 PM  
Boy, his mood sure changed between portrait and profile.
2002-05-01 05:09:32 PM  
He's got a pretty mouth...
2002-05-01 05:10:16 PM  
You know what his community service should be? He should be forced to work phone support for AOL for that entire time.

And he should be forced to do a "good job" at it too. Any swearing at customers -- no matter how stupid or rude they may be -- adds 6 months to his sentence.

That sounds like a punishment that fits the crime, to me.
2002-05-01 05:10:34 PM  
Of course, you can imagine how mad the inmates will be when they find out. I can see it now... "yo, that's tha muh-farker that farked up my exchange server."
2002-05-01 05:11:27 PM  
Hey, Melissa! Is that yer bar o' soap over there?
2002-05-01 05:11:49 PM  
Doing support at AOL could be considered cruel and unusual punishment.
2002-05-01 05:11:53 PM  
Cooter> Watcha ya in for boy?

D.Smith> I wrote a computer virus.

Cooter> cool - you wanna be the husband or the wife?

D.Smith> I suppose if I have to choose, I'd rather be the husband.

Cooter> Fine. Now get over here and suck your wife's dick before she beat your ass...
2002-05-01 05:11:59 PM  
2002-05-01 05:12:13 PM  
From writing and sending e-mail viruses, to catching syphillys. ISN'T THAT IRONIC ?
2002-05-01 05:12:20 PM  
Sweet Melissa.
2002-05-01 05:12:35 PM  
Jerkoff should be banned from ever using a computer again.
2002-05-01 05:13:20 PM  
I still think it is funny that he named the virus after a stripper he knew. I wonder if he did it for the same reasons Hinkley shot Reagan.
2002-05-01 05:13:37 PM  
I was going to do a humorous Ray Romano picture comparison between the two.

But then I realized they look nothing alike. Damn.
2002-05-01 05:14:19 PM  
Why do people keep calling this thing a virus? It's a damned vbscript worm. It's not a virus.
2002-05-01 05:14:27 PM  
I've never seen anyone smile so much for their mugshot. I think he wanted to go to prison.
2002-05-01 05:16:08 PM  
In reality he will be put into a min security prison. There other prisoners there will be in for non-violent crimes. He is in little or no danger of rape.....unless he wants it. Plus he will do community service and get his timed shortened.

But he might have a hefty fine to pay. Thats the only real punishment.
2002-05-01 05:17:23 PM  
oh no f-ing way! that biatch better be going to a federal 'pound you in the ass' prison!
2002-05-01 05:17:50 PM  
It says he'll have to pay $5,000. Not exactly much for the millions of dollars he caused so many companies to lose...
2002-05-01 05:18:13 PM  
and the fact that since he confessed he's open to being sued for damages....that boy isn't going to be able to set up a lemonade stand without someone getting a chunk of the profits once he gets out...
2002-05-01 05:18:46 PM  
I believe the article read a whopping "$5,000"...
2002-05-01 05:18:58 PM  
I think he should be forced to sit in front of a webcam for 20 months hooked to electrodes.
Then people can go the site and zap him on line as well as watch him twitch in seizures.
2002-05-01 05:20:17 PM  
Nightjars: Most people who report the news are very computer illiterate.

2002-05-01 05:20:50 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

"Hey, Melissa, watch out for your cornhole."
2002-05-01 05:22:18 PM  
In Suadi they would have just cut his hands of and told him to have a holy day.
2002-05-01 05:23:10 PM  
Considering this was a "do-it-to-yourself" bug because you had to open the email to propagate it, why should he get any more punishment? I never open emails from an address I don't recognize, one that's been forwarded or one that has a stupid subject line like that. Never been infected. Of course I do lose a lot of stuff that friends and co-workers send out and I did delete that "Greetings from the CEO" email concerning my job...
2002-05-01 05:23:17 PM  
He's not going to Oz, fer crissakes, he'll be in some minimum security thing for dweebs or the rich. Where the gay secx is consensual.
2002-05-01 05:24:14 PM  
Spidie, not knowing every detail about bad programs that fark up your computer does not make you computer illiterate.
2002-05-01 05:25:08 PM  
LOL @ Office space jokes
2002-05-01 05:25:11 PM  
he's going to learn the true meaning of "upload"
2002-05-01 05:25:11 PM  
[insert Office Space quote here]
2002-05-01 05:26:12 PM  
Ohh BTW, in Suadi, thats for stealing...

Now if you write a computer virus...
They take away your t1 line,
and then hand you a 2400 baud modem...with an aol connection
2002-05-01 05:28:02 PM  
aol provides a connection? is it the apocolypse already?
2002-05-01 05:28:03 PM  
Police Photo Guy: Face me, please... you know, what you did was white collar, so you'll only end up in one of those "pleasure prisons."

(snaps first pic)

Turn to the left... but of course, you'll still get a55-raped.

(snaps second pic)
2002-05-01 05:29:26 PM  
Welcome to Fantasy Island!

[image from too old to be available]
2002-05-01 05:29:29 PM  
"David L. Smith, 33, pleaded guilty in December 1999 to a state charge of computer theft and to a federal charge of sending a damaging computer program. In the federal plea, both sides agreed the damage was greater than $80 million. "

Specifically calling attention to the "sending a damaging computer program" why the hell isn't bill in jail too?

ANOTHER BLUESCREEN??!?!?!I $#(@*@(*$@(*&$@(*V &IBCB ICRO
2002-05-01 05:31:08 PM  
David Smith... sounds really the name of a Matrix Agent
2002-05-01 05:32:51 PM  
2002-05-01 05:34:12 PM  
2002-05-01 05:40:19 PM  
Fresh fish! Fresh fish! Fresh fish!

...and it's Melissa by a nose!
2002-05-01 05:41:09 PM  
20 months isn't enough.
2002-05-01 05:41:44 PM  
For anyone wanting to Photoshop his police mug:

[image from too old to be available]
2002-05-01 05:45:23 PM  
LOVE the headline...

Someone beer that farker who wrote it, stat!
2002-05-01 05:46:24 PM  
20 months.

1 year, 8 months.

That is all. Have a nice day.
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