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(1010WINS)   DMV-issued newsletter leads NJ callers to porn line   (1010wins.com) divider line 36
    More: Amusing  
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3956 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Oct 2005 at 4:05 PM (9 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



36 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2005-10-13 01:15:25 PM  
Me: "I was rammed in the rear by a charger. After that, a mustang and a colt ganged up on me, forcing me to stop. At that point I saw fluid leaking from the tranny. To make matters worse, I blew a seal."

Silence.

Is this the DMV?

DMV: "Sorry sir, this is Veronicas Porn Emporium, but sounds like you should submit a resume."
 
2005-10-13 01:55:20 PM  
are there really this many phone sex lines still operating?

//or are all pamphlet editors really just a little kinky??
 
2005-10-13 02:02:28 PM  
Tyler Durden in New Jersey now?
 
2005-10-13 04:08:14 PM  
Looks like someone is gonna get a raise!


EH? EH?


/got nuttin
 
2005-10-13 04:09:13 PM  
BMW did this to me with there service number.

BTW, what is an animal friendly plate? Isn't that a wok?
 
2005-10-13 04:09:55 PM  
The wrong area code was on several hundred cards promoting the animal-friendly plates...

if only it was new york, they could have used the state mammal for the advertising and it would have made perfect sense.
 
2005-10-13 04:10:02 PM  
Animal friendly license plate on a car that will probably at some point run over animals
 
2005-10-13 04:10:06 PM  
This does not surprise me. You go into the DMV here in NJ and need to change your address they need a birth certificate. You go to the website and you can change it no questions asked. I shiat you not...
 
2005-10-13 04:10:33 PM  
This happens far too often to just be chance.

/adjusts tin foil condom
 
2005-10-13 04:12:41 PM  
hasn't this happened to other states in recent history?
 
2005-10-13 04:15:04 PM  
opak

But DMV is a million times better than it was 5 years ago. I went in for a new license and it only took me 2 hours, instead of the 5 or 6 my last one did.
 
2005-10-13 04:16:38 PM  
this thread is useless without the phone number and credit card information...
 
2005-10-13 04:17:07 PM  
The number is

800.486.3339

/just for those wanting it
//not for me though!
 
2005-10-13 04:19:24 PM  
Are there people out there who still don't know the internets?
 
2005-10-13 04:19:54 PM  
Don't mention it! Our pleasure!

(Don't worry 'bout it. the phone companies will eat the bill)

 
2005-10-13 04:23:25 PM  
ADIDAS247: BTW, what is an animal friendly plate? Isn't that a wok?

For $10 a year extra, you can have a license plate with a little cartoonish cat, dog and bird that says "Animal Friendly." They have lots of different plates and the fees go to different charities.

LineNoise: But DMV is a million times better than it was 5 years ago. I went in for a new license and it only took me 2 hours, instead of the 5 or 6 my last one did.

I was in and out in less than 30 minutes this past July...and that's with the crazy new "6 points of ID" system.
 
2005-10-13 04:25:25 PM  
Why is it always a phone sex line. Wouldn't the Family Research Council do just as well for frightening people?
 
2005-10-13 04:30:27 PM  
No one in NJ that called this could have been fooled into thinking that some hot-sounding, moaning, sultry-voiced woman would be working for NJDMV -- the only women that work there are 'soulless demon-spawned evil zombie vampires' that live to inflict pain and misery on society...OK, there are probably some very nice people working there - but I haven't had very many good experiences there over the years....
 
2005-10-13 04:31:16 PM  
Three Peat!
 
2005-10-13 04:33:13 PM  
Disclamier: No animals were harmed in the making of this plate?

/or post
 
2005-10-13 04:37:02 PM  
This happens a lot...
I guess they do it on purpose.

/meh
 
2005-10-13 04:42:39 PM  
Greatest porn lines ever:

"Who is it?"

"Pizza guy!"
 
2005-10-13 04:43:34 PM  
So what's the problem?
 
2005-10-13 04:58:47 PM  
Adidas
BTW, what is an animal friendly plate?

The NJ MVC (not DMV!) offers two flavors of this plate:


Here are the photos of all the other specialty plates:
(All links below open a new window; Pages 1 & 2 are color)
LIC PLATE PAGE 1: http://www.state.nj.us/mvc/cit_plates/specala.htm
LIC PLATE PAGE 2: http://www.state.nj.us/mvc/cit_plates/specalamore.htm
LIC PLATE PAGE 3: http://www.state.nj.us/mvc/cit_plates/specalh.htm
LIC PLATE PAGE 4: http://www.state.nj.us/mvc/cit_plates/specalf.htm
LIC PLATE PAGE 5: http://www.state.nj.us/mvc/cit_plates/specali.htm
LIC PLATE PAGE 6: http://www.state.nj.us/mvc/cit_plates/specale.htm
LIC PLATE PAGE 7: http://www.state.nj.us/mvc/cit_plates/specalg.htm

JP
/(owner of )
 
2005-10-13 04:59:06 PM  
Web site and printed material distributed by the state Division of Disability Services.

It was not the Motor Vehicle people who made the mistake, it was the submitter's mom.
 
2005-10-13 05:09:11 PM  
 
2005-10-13 05:11:05 PM  
Motorists calling a toll-free number seeking handicapped or animal-friendly license plates
are getting a little more action than they expected.




"Yes I'm interested in saving New Jersey Beaver."

"Honey, we aint got no NJ beaver, but we do got some NY cootch."

"Really....Do screws come with that?"

Sure does Honey but you gotta crank it by hand."

"You mean I can't drill it?"

Baby you can drill it all you want as long as your $$$ is good........."
 
2005-10-13 06:02:32 PM  
Does this mean that they'll finally be excepting credit cards??
 
2005-10-13 06:03:30 PM  
Brings new meaning to autoeroticism.
 
2005-10-13 06:30:33 PM  
NO LONGER WEIRD
by Chuck Shepherd Copyright 2003. All rights reserved.
Updated: August 1, 2003

The following kinds of stories were formerly weird, but they now occur with
such frequency that they must be retired from circulation:

1. an old, widely-advertised phone-sex number is reassigned to a
church/charity
2. suspicious package thought to be a bomb, turns out to be something stupid
3. robber leaves his ID [wallet or appointment card for probation officer or etc.] at the scene
4. peace/brotherhood conference erupts into violence
5. robber on getaway accidentally hails unmarked police car
6. political candidate dies but still wins the election
7. family thinks he's dead, but he's not and attends his own funeral
8. hunters shoot each other
9. funeral home owner neglects/mixes up bodies
10. "victimized" drug buyer complains to police that someone sold him weak or bogus drugs

11. some countries prohibit giving children certain names
12. in middle of an obvious drug raid, customer wanders up and asks cop if he can buy some drugs
13. shoots himself while supposedly demonstrating gun safety
14. global warming caused by animal methane
15. burglar gets stuck in vent or chimney
16. courthouse visitor/defendant inadvertently places contraband on the
x-ray tables at entrance
17. burglar falls asleep during job.
18. family accidentally leaves behind a kid at a highway rest stop
19. driver's license applicant crashes into examiner station before or during test
20. [Oops! It's about the same as number 15]

21. overdue-library-book scofflaws actually go to jail
22. DUI tickets for "driving" a bicycle [or horse or riding lawn mower or etc.]
23. starts fire because can't stop smoking even though hooked up to oxygen machine
24. gasoline thieves check quantity in tank by using a match or lighter to peer inside
25. older teacher/younger boy relationship
26. firefighter with an arson habit [to keep in practice or to feel wanted or etc.]
27. local election ends in tie, settled (by law) by coin flip or draw of cards
28. Japanese men committing suicide because of overwork
29. angry customer drives car right through store's front door
30. heating-oil delivery to wrong house, resulting in flooded basement

31. postal worker hoards mail because he's behind in delivering it
32. bank robber hails taxi or municipal bus for getaway
33. the annual student cheating riots in Bangladesh
34. criminal on the lam goes on national tv talk show and mentions that he's wanted
35. dog steps on gun, shooting the master
36. pack of animals breaks into liquor cabinet or fermenting vat, get drunk
37. a loved one died at home, but the relative never gets around to burying him or her
38. school zero-tolerance policies for "weapons" that are purely, obviously ornamental
39. amateur videographers set up miniature cameras in restrooms
40. animal-hoarding (mostly of cats) women

41. carjackers who never learned to drive stick shift and must abandon the car
42. criminal suspect evading police, jumps in river to escape, and drowns
43. young-looking adults impersonate teenagers and return to high school
44. African nation's rumors of people with power to make penises disappear
45. humongous abdominal cysts removed in surgery
46. unlabeled urn with loved one's ashes mistakenly stolen or sold at yard sale
47. husband takes his wife back even though she just tried to kill him
48. judges punish young people by forcing them to listen to [classical or polka or etc.] music
49. hit-and-run driver drives on and on with body or bicycle in grille or windshield
50. criminal, cornered by police dog, bites the dog

51. burglars leave footprints in snow, directly to their homes
52. [Oops! It's about the same as number 48]
53. video shoe-cams or smoke-detector-cams to spy on women
54. Japanese making many silent hang-up telephone calls against former lover or business partner
55. robber smashes store's surveillance "camera," but it's only the lens, and it captured his face
56. inadvertently tries to cash a stolen personal check at the store [bank] where his victim works
57. accidental bombing of house by airliner's "blue ice"
58. elderly citizen trying to convince bureaucrat that, contrary to records, he's not really dead
59. elderly motorist makes wrong turn, gets lost for days
60. bands of criminals videotape their entire crime sprees for kicks, but makes it easy for cops

61. parents frolic while their small kids are left home alone
62. people trying to outrun police while driving slow-moving vehicles
63. combining jellyfish gene to produce another plant or animal that glows
64. imposter cop has car with flashing light, stopping motorists, accidentally stops real cop
65. parents who leave their small kids locked in hot cars while they frolic
66. inmates who advertise innocently for penpals on lonely-hearts pages on
the Internet.
 
2005-10-13 06:45:07 PM  
we did this to a client of ours. Just, it was for a major chain of child portiat studios.

Pretty funny stuff, until they fired us, and we had to lay off 1/3 of our creative department.

/glad I wasn't on that account.
 
2005-10-13 07:27:25 PM  
I'm sorry?

Since when do NJ callers need to be led to a porn line?
 
2005-10-13 08:00:19 PM  
Actually, the DMV and the sex trade have been linked for several years, now...



/amazed no one did this yet.
 
2005-10-13 10:54:50 PM  
Can't say I'm too suprised... recently when I went to renew my license the DMV that I've been going to for the last ten years was boarded up. I called the phone #, got a redirect. Called the new #, got a redirect. Called the newest #, just plain disconnected. Went to the DMV in the next town.... during normal business hours... it was locked up, at least the lights were on in this one.

I renewed online, it took about 5 mins.
 
2005-10-13 11:24:33 PM  
{sigh}

Hasn't anybody learned by now? CALL THE FARKING NUMBER THAT YOU PUT ON THE PAMPHLET BEFORE YOU SEND IT OUT. You'll save yourself many suprises that way.
 
2005-10-13 11:59:33 PM  
This is a good idea keep the porn flowing.
 
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