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(ABC News)   Prison library employee who was hired to help prison guards win softball tournament gets arrested as "ringer"   ( divider line
    More: Stupid  
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12753 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Oct 2005 at 1:48 AM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

48 Comments     (+0 »)
2005-10-05 12:48:44 AM  
that's what you get for going 0 for 4.
2005-10-05 01:28:20 AM  
Someone explain how this is theft?

a) Hired by Prison
b) Prison says he doesn't have to show up to work
c) Prison pays him

This sounds more like a DOC Human Relations issue than a crime...
2005-10-05 01:28:56 AM  
And thus I will make the following statement:

There has to be more to this story...
2005-10-05 01:52:05 AM  
Chris Rock, Nelly, and Adam Sandler should make a movie about this.
2005-10-05 01:52:38 AM  
Uh, I'm not sure how you get "arrested as a ringer" from "arrested for grand theft".
2005-10-05 01:55:05 AM  
Let him go and arrest the prison admin then. jeez.
2005-10-05 01:55:53 AM  
What is more stupid... the situation, the employee, the prison, or the headline?
2005-10-05 01:58:30 AM  
I guess they picked him up for his big stick...

/got nothin'
2005-10-05 01:59:44 AM  
Stupid government.
2005-10-05 02:01:59 AM  
Hard to tell, barfooz.

I suspect there may be a rational story in there somewhere, but we can count on our so-called journalists to provide doubt.

Sheesh. These people get paid real money to write crap that would have given my high school journalism teacher a fugue and me an F.
2005-10-05 02:02:55 AM  

The prison paid him. Which meant they used state funds, meant for the prison, to hire a ringer for thier softball team. So they basically stole state funds and gave it to this guy. I assume the people who hired/paid him will also be arrested.
2005-10-05 02:04:16 AM  

Chris Rock, Nelly, and Adam Sandler should make a movie about this.

Robert Altman and Ring Lardner Jr already made a movie about it. Spearchucker Jones anyone?
2005-10-05 02:04:42 AM  
This was illegal, but what happened to the people who hired the player? They are eaqually responsible for the misappropriation of public funds.
2005-10-05 02:17:09 AM  

"My God! They've shot him!"

"Hotlips, you incredible nincompoop, that's the end of the quarter."

So much better than the TV show.
2005-10-05 02:17:47 AM  
Steve Sax can relate, what with all those New York City murders he's doing time for in Springfield.

/Mattingly, trim those sideburns!
2005-10-05 02:33:28 AM  
Land of the free, home of the brave.
2005-10-05 02:40:45 AM  
odinsposse, thanks. I hadn't thought of that.

This was illegal, but what happened to the people who hired the player? They are eaqually responsible for the misappropriation of public funds.

I'd say a hell of a lot more responsible.
2005-10-05 02:50:19 AM  
bersl2: So much better than the TV show.

MASH the movie doesn't deserve to lick the sweat off of Alan Alda's sack. There are good scenes in the movie, but it is not a good movie. There is no cohesiveness, and frankly, it has no heart. The TV series is so much better, on so many levels, from writing, to acting, to characters, to message, etc.
2005-10-05 02:57:20 AM  
Yes!!! My comment indirectly started a MASH the Movie versus MASH the TV Show flame war!!! YESSSSS!!!!!
2005-10-05 02:58:27 AM  
Only difference between convicts and cops/prison officials is the convicts got caught already...
2005-10-05 02:58:32 AM  
rcs914: They are different kinds of works and ought not to be compared. I'm in the mood for flamebaiting.

But of course the movie has no heart; it's a black comedy.
2005-10-05 03:01:48 AM  
What's worse is that this poor bastard is getting arrested over $1,200. If that's your monthly profit from a criminal enterprise, you need to just get a real job.
2005-10-05 03:21:30 AM  
Simpsons Did It!!
2005-10-05 03:42:15 AM  
I'm a fan of both media. I think, like young, gyrating, good-hair Elvis and old, fat, hamburger-scarfing Elvis, both the movie and the series are necessary to recognize the greatness and legend of the whole.


/The book too. I was somewhat surprised to find that the series tended to stay truer to the spirit of the book, and the character of Father Mulcahey in the book was much better represented in the series than the movie. Also Blake was regular army hardass in the book, much like Potter, and nothing at all like either movie or series Blake.
//longest slash ever
2005-10-05 05:00:13 AM  
Ah, the movie was based on Joseph Heller's "Catch-22," or more realistically on the crappy movie made from it. A crappy movie taking place during the Korean war was stolen from that. And then we get the "classic" M*A*S*H liberal lovefest that you seem to admire. Any program that feels a need to shove any sort of political agenda down my throat I will avoid.
2005-10-05 05:19:19 AM  
"Give Yossarian all the dried fruit and fruit juices he wants," Doc Daneeka had written. "He says he has a liver condition."

"A letter like this, " Milo mumbled despondently, "could ruin any mess officer in the world." Milo had come to Yossarian's tent to read the letter again, following his carton of lost provisions across the squadron like a mourner. "I have to give you as much as you ask for. Why, the letter doesn't even say you have to eat it all by yourself."

"And it's a good thing it doesn't," Yossarian told him, "because I never eat any of it. I have a liver condition."

"Oh yes, I forgot," said Milo, in a voice lowered derentially. "Is it bad?"

"Just bad enough," Yossarian answered cheerfully.

"I see," said Milo. "What does that mean?"

"It means it couldn't be better..."

"I don't think I understand."

"... without being worse. Now do you see?"

"Yes, now I see. But I still don't think I understand."

"Well, don't let it trouble you. Let it trouble me. You see, I don't really have a liver condition. I've just got the symptoms. I have a Garnett-Fleischaker syndrome."

"I see," said Milo. "And what is a Garnett-Fleischaker syndrome?"

"A liver condition."

Does M*A*S*H*'s writing get better than this? BTW, any fans of the book, I assume Milo Minderbinder's egg scheme had zero logic to it, but I never tried to figure it out. Then again, I read this book the last time maybe 15 years ago.
2005-10-05 06:40:30 AM  
Farking Addict
Milo's scheme had a brilliantly perverse logic to it, perfectly in keeping with the book. Sadly, I cannot for the life of me remember what it was :-(. As I rememember, the only thing not explained was why the whore was beating up Yossarians friend with a shoe.
2005-10-05 06:47:49 AM  
All I can remember about the whore is that Yossarian felt guilt and the whore blamed him for how crappy her life was as a whore. I guess we can both read the novel later today or tomorrow depending on where you live and answer the questions ourselves. One of the best reads ever if you ask me. Again, I read this a very long time ago.
2005-10-05 06:48:46 AM  
Oops, screwed up the tags. I knew it would happen as soon as I tried.
2005-10-05 06:49:46 AM  
Farking Addict


Ahhhh, now I remember. Basically he was buying the eggs from himself in Malta, as a member of the syndicate. The only person who was actually losing money for the eggs was the US Army, as they could be bought for much cheaper elsewhere.

However, as it was well known they cost 7 cents in Malta, and Milo was selling them for 5, they thought they were getting them cheaper :-)

Click Here for the relevant quote.
2005-10-05 06:52:08 AM  
Ah - I didn't mean Nately's whore (who is the main whore in the book). There is another whore who Yossarian see's beating Orr in the head with a spiked heel, and Orr will never tell him why, and I think he dies before he can tell Yossarian so the reader never finds out.
2005-10-05 07:11:44 AM  
Oh, that makes sense to me now. That also further explains why The Syndicate needs to give out shares in place of silly items like parachutes.

Really, now I am confused on on the whore issue. Nately's whore is who I referred to. Nately was in love with her, right? She could care less. Orr had a whore as well... Nevermind, I will read it again. Regardless of any further spoiler, it is worth another read. OK, which one wore the lime green panties??? haha
2005-10-05 07:13:00 AM  
What is going on? My tags were OK and I have HTML enabled. Fark does not require JAVA script.
2005-10-05 07:21:34 AM  
2005-10-05 07:22:38 AM  
Damn bug in a Firefox build. That is why it is only a build.
2005-10-05 08:03:48 AM  
You can get arrested for getting payed and not working?
shiat, I'm in trouble.
2005-10-05 08:56:17 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Millhouse Not avalible for comment.

/Couldnt find the real simpsons picture I wanted.
//Google Image Search Sucks.
///I slash backwards.
2005-10-05 09:49:48 AM  
Farking Addict: OK, which one wore the lime green panties??? haha

I think it was the plump cleaning lady.
2005-10-05 10:01:15 AM  
He should have helped them complete their tax returns instead.

/nothing stops! or else ill pull you out of that one bunk hilton and cast you down with the sodomites!!
2005-10-05 11:16:43 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
"Some of these players have a bad attitude, Skip."
2005-10-05 11:19:09 AM  
This thread missing pics from The Shawshank Redemption
2005-10-05 11:34:53 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Wanted for questioning

...because there's ALWAYS money in the banana stand Michael!
2005-10-05 12:50:38 PM  
2005-10-05 01:30:40 PM  
Isn't this just a trade? I wonder who the guards picked up. Strawberry probably.
2005-10-05 02:05:16 PM  
"Umpire I'm a millionare I'll give u a thousand dollars if you call the next pitch a strike"(or something like that)

/Too lazy to look it up
//Stay in the car George Michael
2005-10-05 04:28:14 PM  
Thread needs less Simpsons, more M*A*S*H.
2005-10-05 07:15:08 PM  
Now I got to read the book.

/movie was good
//love the series
2005-10-06 12:39:25 AM  
So, is this just a ploy by the prisoners to get him to play for thier team?
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