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(Some Quantam Mechanist)   The infamous "Cat Paradox" - not for the quantam-mechanically challenged   ( divider line
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11980 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Apr 2002 at 10:05 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2002-04-29 10:08:58 AM  
Is this about Schroedinger's cat? this had better be about schroedinger's cat.

"If Schroedinger's Cat walks into a forest, and no one is around to observe it, is he really in the forest?"
2002-04-29 10:13:06 AM  
If someone's smart enough to know advanced physics, I'd hope they'd be smart enough to spell "quantum mechanics" correctly.
2002-04-29 10:13:51 AM  
Answer: Mr. Bigglesworth, using his psi powers, is able to detect the fear eminating from Schroedinger's cat. Mr. Bigglesworth escapes from his prison in Pittsburgh on a train, traveling west at 65 miles per hour. On another train, traveling east, is Bill Gates, carrying proof that his blessed windows OS cannot me modified. So-how many minutes will it take for the train engineer to have the sun blind him so he misses a signal and rear ends a truck full of chili in Wyoming?
2002-04-29 10:14:30 AM  
I think I speak for many farkers when I say...

2002-04-29 10:14:54 AM  
Ahhhhhh Shrodinger's cat........a classic.

I wonder how many stupid pricks are going to say "but that's cruel to the kitty!"

It's a hypothetical exercise!
2002-04-29 10:16:37 AM  
The Schroedinger's Cat paradox is easily solved by applying the Poincare Conjecture.
2002-04-29 10:16:59 AM  
Heisenberg is stopped by a traffic cop who askes: "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Heisenberg replies: "No, but I know exactly where I am"
2002-04-29 10:17:24 AM  
I've taken too many quantum Vicodins to figure this out.
2002-04-29 10:18:12 AM  
What's so hypocritical about not wanting to give Cruex to Schroeder's cat?
2002-04-29 10:20:18 AM  
By the way, this proves that there is a God.
2002-04-29 10:22:13 AM  
No, actually, it doesn't prove shiat. :)
2002-04-29 10:25:05 AM  
Schroedinger's cat and Pavlov's dog walk into a bar....
2002-04-29 10:25:10 AM  
PETA surrenders.
2002-04-29 10:25:29 AM  
not to be confused with Schroedinger's other cat, of course
2002-04-29 10:26:47 AM  
The Straight Dope did it far better.
2002-04-29 10:30:33 AM  
There is a 99.9999% probability that farkers will take the piss when provided with such an opportunity.
2002-04-29 10:30:57 AM  
Given the paradox of feline two-dimensional occupation:
"A given cat (A) will, through time, occupy the whole of a given bed (B) regardless of disproportionate masses and surface areas provided that a human being or beings (C or C and D) are at the same time attempting to occupy (B)." a cat being both dead and not-dead is fairly likely.
2002-04-29 10:31:31 AM
2002-04-29 10:33:04 AM  
D'oh!! my cache farked me! Duplicate post.
2002-04-29 10:33:34 AM  
the problem with this is that it fails to take into account the classical and quantum effects of positrons and strage quarks. These two details upset the whoel premise, and proves that the person who poste dthis article is wrong. Please remember in future to mathematically take inot account the decay effect of neutino bombardment. All your sub atomic particles are belong to us.
2002-04-29 10:34:39 AM  
I need to clean my quantum cat-box.

Or maybe I don't...

If I don't open it, does that mean in may or may not stink?
2002-04-29 10:37:54 AM  
Took, that might be a little too subtle for most.

Ever hear of the Buttered Cat Array? You know how a cat always lands on its feet? You also know how a piece of buttered toast will always land butter side down? Strap a piece of butteredd toast (butter side out) to the back of a cat and drop. Viola! A spinning, perpetual motion device that can be used to power things. The only problem is this has only worked in the lab and the cost is prohibitive because of the ASPCA and PETA.
2002-04-29 10:41:13 AM  
I kinda thought that this was going to be about the OTHER cat paradox. The one about making infinite energy.

For those who haven't the slightest idea what the fark I'm talking about:

1. We all know that cats always land on their feet.
2. We all know that toast always lands butter side down.
3. Therefore, if you attached a piece of toast, butter side out, to the back of a cat, and then dropped it, an infinite ammount of energy would be created by the 2 aforementioned laws of nature fighting against eachother.

2002-04-29 10:41:40 AM  
damn you Walkman, you beat me to it.
2002-04-29 10:42:14 AM  
Heh, I remember reading some spirited discussion on this very topic in Douglas Adams' "Long Dark Tea Time of the Soul" ...

So, where's the "Cliche Kitty" photoshop to go with this post?
2002-04-29 10:46:07 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-04-29 10:46:47 AM  
I want to belief..
[image from too old to be available]
Now get more out of your quantam!!
2002-04-29 10:49:45 AM  
I concur with Ironbar- see my post to the same effect in our discussion Friday of Poincare and Schrodinger.
BTW- I asked a, engineer friend about Poincare, and he'd never heard of him. I tried to explain it, and he just thought it was the dumbest thing he'd ever heard of. "Of course you can't" he said, "And why is that amazing? Of coourse, if you put the rubberband round the donutthe other way, so it went across the hole, it would work." So I said, "Yeah,doesn't make sense to me, either. Hand me another beer."
2002-04-29 10:51:07 AM  
Of course it is walkman. But subtlety is fun, and it's even more fun for the 4 or whatever people out there that get the joke even though it's subtle. :)
2002-04-29 10:56:25 AM  
Hey Electrode? Neener neener neener... ;-P

Took, true and it was good.
2002-04-29 11:00:05 AM  
So what process was Schroedinger explaining with the cat analogy?
2002-04-29 11:06:41 AM  
I couldnt even get through the thing due to poor sentence structure. I can handle poor grammar/structure when talking about left turn lisa, but in scientific writing it is intolerable.
2002-04-29 11:07:35 AM's a poser. If a cat always lands on its feet and buttered bread always lands butter side down, what would happen if you strapped a butter up slice of bread to a cat's back ?
2002-04-29 11:09:31 AM  
Now just think... take the Buttered Cat Array. Feed the cat a magnet, like a cow magnet. Let the whole thing spin up for an hour or so, to generate a large amount of energy. Now launch the Array out of a rail gun. Instant Sunrise?
2002-04-29 11:10:49 AM  
thank you for the much better, and more humorous link. I get it now.
2002-04-29 11:16:12 AM  
Took- I have to admit, I laughed at the Heisenberg joke. I'm a dork, I know. However, somebody has to finish the "Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog walk into a bar" joke. It has some serios geek-humor potential.
2002-04-29 11:26:25 AM  
Schroedinger's cat walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Say, we don't get too many quantum mechanical cats in here." Cat says, "And at these prices, you won't get many more, either."
2002-04-29 11:29:29 AM  
Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog walk into a bar.

Schrodinger's cat says to Pavlov's dog, "you know, if I were in a box when a random event may or may not have released a poisonous gas, I theoretically would exist in various states of alive AND dead until the resulting probability wave is collapsed by an observer opening the box."

Pavlov's dog responds by drooling and then eating him.

2002-04-29 11:34:51 AM  
How does this experiment prove the existence of God?
Why do I care?
2002-04-29 11:34:58 AM  
1000Airplanes: Cut Erwin some slack. He wrote that in German and what you're reading is a translation.

Abox: Schrödinger was attempting to illustrate an absurdity/problem with what was then the novel quantum mechanical idea that until you observed a quantum mechanical system, the system exists in a "superposition of states". By constructing a scenario that bridged the Schrödinger microscopic with the macroscopic, he hoped to illustrate that there wasn't a clean division between the new, strange quantum world and the "real" world where a cat is either alive or dead. Much to his dismay, people said, "By gum! That it! The cat is both alive and dead until you open the box and observe the system."
2002-04-29 11:41:38 AM  
Cripes, that post was farked.

Important Lesson: No posting before the caffeine kicks in.
2002-04-29 11:51:34 AM  
Personally, I'm more of a dog person. Beagles to be precise.
2002-04-29 11:54:54 AM  
"Schroedinger's Cat" has become part of the physicist's lexicon to describe how quantum mechanics jibes with our seemingly deterministic macroscopic world. We don't see quantum phenomena (eg. that something can be in two places at once) in our everyday world, yet we are all made out of atoms, which are inherently quantum-mechanical. Where does quantum mechanics end and classical mechanics take over?

Here's an example of a paper by someone trying to make a connection between the micro and macro worlds:

Lots and lots of papers at this site, for the specialist and non-specialist alike.
2002-04-29 11:57:38 AM  
Why does everyone pick on cats?

Pavlov's dog gets to eat all the time, while this poor cat gets crammed in a box with radioactive material and hydrocloric acid.

Hasnt anyone seen Cat's eye by stephan king? Or Read Sleep Walkers by stephan king? What about the entire egyptian culture? THEY knew how to treat cats.

Crazy scientists... they should torture insects instead.
2002-04-29 11:58:44 AM  
I actually bridge quantum mechanics and classical. For example, when I walk through a door, I automatically sense if there's another door to the room open, and therefore know if I should direct my movements to land on the opposite wall in an interference pattern.
2002-04-29 12:05:48 PM  
Buy Totalfark, or never ever get a good thread (including Boobies) ever again.
2002-04-29 12:08:52 PM  
It's not a paradox, it's a metaphor, and it doesn't mean anything.
2002-04-29 12:09:01 PM  
Al Boondy--
Actually, to be a complete feeb, this appeared in 'Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency', the first book.
Now that I have proven myself an utter loser, I shall go cry in a corner until 'The Salmon of Doubt' comes out in the beginning of May.
D'oh. Did it again.
2002-04-29 12:09:40 PM  
not for the quantam-mechanically challenged

I suppose you can be a quantum mechanics genius but still not have a clue about correct spelling and hyphenation.
2002-04-29 12:22:58 PM  
Hey phaeton -- YOU buy TF. Or else you know what will happen .... that's right --

[image from too old to be available]

oh and I didn't come up with the heisenberg joke -- that one and a lot more schrodinger's cat jokes available at
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