1. Tell them you can't afford thier love anymore...
2. ?????
3. Profit!!

You're all a bunch of leeches. Can't put yourself through college and support yourself by the age of 18? Hah! I was working 120 hours/week as the CEO of three large agricultural corporations by the age of 17.

By the time I started college, I was on the Forbes top 50 richest American's list. I put myself through college and also bought myself three Enzos, four Vanquishs and a dozen Porsche GT2s my freshman year. I bought my first $1,000,000+ mansion when I was 19, my second and third when I was 20, and the last dozen when I was 21. By the age of 22 my personal income exceeded the GDP of the entire continent of Africa. At 23 I ended world hunger and by 24 I had eliminated poverty. At 25 I built the first intergalactic starship and now, at 26, I made the final intergalactic data connection and am speaking to you from 30,000,000 light years away.

...buncha bums.

one other thing on tuition Just One More--

i want to verify that until the kids reach 24 yrs of age, they HAVE to count YOUR and YOUR WIFES income. Does that mean YOU have to pay when financial aid decides that your kids shouldnt get scholarships because their Expected Family Contributition is $_____,_____???? No, but it means that the schools expects you too.

I know about this crap personally. I actually took time off college to STALL until the age of 24, when I wouldnt have to count my parents anymore.

Both my g/f and i get very little from our parents and we're happier because of it. I think it's embarrasing to have to ask for stuff when you become an adult. Sure, 18 might be one thing but once you're around the age of 25 you better have your crap together. That's 7 years after leaving high school, more than enough time. I am now 30 and my girlfriend is 28. We both have some debt but hell, we paid for our own tuition. Paying for your tuition means knowing it is your money that will go to waist if you blow it. It gives you a reality check.

If your kids aren't in school cut 'em off. If they ARE in school, maybe pay for the essentials but tell 'em to get a part time job, we did.

Okay, I haven't read anything but the Boobies asking for advice in this thread.

Ai am a college student that just moved out of my father's house. I DO ask for money on occassion. About $20 a month.

But, to my credit, I am paying my own bills (tuition, room and board, books, etc), and just want the $20 for extra spending cash to go see the movies on the weekends with friends.

I do not own a car, and do not own insurance. I do own a bike, however. This may be a pain in the butt to ride to the grocery store and back with in the rain, but it is much cheaper.

Your children should be cut off in all of the ways that they can be. Do not pay for their car insurance, do not pay for their cars. Help out with the tuition if they need it, but encourage them to get jobs and save their money.

They do not need the latest fashions. They do not need the latest electronic equitment, speakers, or accessories.

They are poor college students, they should live like it.

Well,

I'm 27, a home owner and have my share of debt... My parents had set aside enough money for my university tuition, and that was all. I learned from a young age (12) the value of a job, that money is earned, not given, and that being thrust out of the nest, I had to fly... Sure, I stumbled financially, had some problems... But I learned from those mistakes, recovered, and now I'm doing okay. I always ask myself when I see kids whose parents buy them cars, phones, clothes... "why?" As a parent, you're responsibility is for them to be sheltered, be fed, and to give them a chance. You coddle them, give them everything they need... How are they going to learn? I hate spoiled kids like yours, and can't stand people like them, who don't know the value of a dollar... And now, they'll most likely never know.

The bottom line is, I think, that if they are focused on school, then leave them be. If they aren't, then by all means, cut them off.

Right now I am in a fairly intensive university program -- my student loans pay for tuition and books, but I can hardly support my own cost of living. I do not own a car, nor do I have a desire to own one; I commute to school every morning (about an hour ride). I have no real luxuries other than, perhaps, broadband internet.

I am very thankful to have my rent/food covered by my parents. I am hardly able to support myself (albeit I am in a low-income family, and get a larger student loan), and I have no idea where I would go without this support. I would definitely not have entered the academic program I am in now -- there is no way I can maintain the required average as well as work part-time. I do, however, intend to go on co-op work terms, and those will more or less pay for my student loans, so I am hoping that I will come out debt-less.

Without parental financial support, I am certain I will not be able to graduate with a decent GPA, or I will have to switch majors to something less demanding, but something I will be less interested in.

The other option would be to extend my graduation by a few more years, or to take a year off to work full-time to save up money to life off of.

But with your situation, it seems like you can safely them off without any harsh repercussions.

Gump Stump

Same with where I graduated. Summer school is, however, an option, and a reasonable one if you get behind due to a late major switch. Even without summer school, an extra long semester ought to pick up the slack from a major switch.

My 3.5 years was full-time school, summer school, and some AP credit. In 4 years I ended up with something like 140 hours instead of the required 120. The excess were mostly electives I took because they were interesting to me.

The only thing my parents paid for after I turned 20 was my tuition and rent. I didn't live in nice places either. They were ok with me not working as long as I was in the dorms. I met them half way on the apartment thing though. I paid rent if I wasn't in school, they paid when I was, which wasn't that much different than what the cost of staying in a dorm was like. Then tuition. Everything else, including books, was my responsibility.

The car I drove was a piece of shiat too.

Tell your kids this:

"If you want nice things then you have to pay for them"

Nice things start at food, water, shelter, and on from there...Your kids need to appreciate the how good they have it.

Most of the people I knew didn't have cars.

Don't make anywhere near $60k, don't know where you got that from. And I work 40 hours, but budget for 25.

Actually, you know what, I don't really care what y'all think. My point is that it's very possible to go to school and work at the same time and to live well. And yes, I still get good grades (A's, B's, and the occasional C).

Goodnight and goodluck.

As a student doing 18 credit-hours a semester with a 3.0 GPA working 30 hours a week, making a 400$ car/cellphone/insurance payment, a 200$ rent payment, buying my own food and entertainment paying my own way through college; I'm going to have to say your kids are lazy. Stop paying for their phones and insurance for the love of god.

You have to do it like those people on Oprah.

Slowly introduce more chores and responsibility, even for the youngest one.

By the time they are 13, give them money to even buy their own clothes and spending money @ the beginning of the month, but no more. Don't back down in the middle of the month.

By the time they are 16, you are giving them hundreds a month, but you take hundreds of it back right away (i.e. money doesn't touch their hands) for rent, util, phone, etc.

...

Yeah. Give'em a deadline (2-3 months is reasonable). Let them know if there is an emergency, they are welcome to ask for help (i.e. shelter). Don't pay for food, regardless, except a family dinner every couple weeks or something. They'll grow up pretty fast. Either that, or live in the basement playing World of Warcraft.

ggwen:

"I know about this crap personally. I actually took time off college to STALL until the age of 24, when I wouldnt have to count my parents anymore."

Well, that shouldn't have been too hard... there can't have been more than two of them.

i'm such a poor weepy grad student :(
if only my parents would buy me a total fark account!
bah. they could have given me money, but i foolishly insisted on not taking any since 17. well, a few times ;)
actually, working through school can teach some responsibility... but also it can detract from your studies... it all depends on the person and situation; there isn't a cure-all out there...

23 here, in my 4th year out of 4.5 in uni. I took 2 years off after high school to buy myself a car and save for uni. I'm lucky enough to still live at home and get by paying marginal rent to my mom. Right now I'm about 10 grand in debt from last year and the current one. I'll probably be around 13 grand in the hole when I graduate.

Seriously though, most jobs available to students suck. I work at a sports store for $9/hour and take home around $800 a month. Subtract $200 for rent, $250 for insurance and gas, $60 for my cell phone (I got fleeced when I signed up for my 3 year contract like a sucka. I use maybe 1/4 of the minutes I pay for), I've got around $55/week for food/entertainment. I'm lucky I can still live at home, although if I moved out I could probably ditch the car.

Anyway, I guess my point is that university is expensive, not just tuition-wise, but trying to pay everything while maintaining a decent GPA, particularly with a student's job. I can understand easily how this man's kids can only pay for rent. Although it would be possible to cease paying for them altogether, it would probably be preferable to wean them off slowly.

What worked for me when I started out was to make groceries readily available, so I wasn't blowing money on eating out because it was easier. See if there's a way you can buy them gift cards or something for grocery stores, if they are still indeed asking for lunch money. Or rather than just handing out money, directly pay a bill for them if they need it. This'll help 'em stay honest.

Quickly, painlessly, and in the public square.

Take it from one who knows: spare cash; spoils the brat.

My own brat is now 38 years old and unable to completely pay his own bills or save for rainy days. He barely holds down a low hour wage job, with a college degree (took 10 years of partying). He got married (late because he was selfish) so I now partially support her too (she only wants to work part-time).

I blame myself (single mom working her butt off to give kid finer things) and my parents who gave him everything he desired from the time he was born; even things they could not afford.

He was sent to private boarding school (which meant he got a better grade of dope) and college and never had to pay for anything himself.

Make your kids work (from an early age) to accomplish their goals. Teach the value of a dollar. They should respect you for who you are rather than you ATM cash vending properties.

It is probably too late for you to do anything about this without the real threat of divorce looming.

It depends how much you want them to succeed. You can cut them off on everything, and watch the effect it has on them. They'll have to spend a lot more time working, become overstressed, and stop focusing on school. They may not drop out, but it'll almost certainly affect their grades and in turn the grad school they go to/job they get.

If you actually want them to be as successful as possible, don't cut them off. If money's tight, have them get a student loan for a couple semesters, and give them the money you would have paid for tuition. Tell them what they are now responsible for paying for, and make it very clear that if they use up the money, they are on their own. They'll have a little debt when they graduate, but at least they can focus on their studies instead of paying the bills (they are still students, NOT ADULTS, as most people here don't realize), and they'll probably make more than enough to make up for it by doing better in school. If you get better grades, not only will you probably get a better job, but grad schools and employers will be lining up to pay to further your education.

Or you can "teach them to be independent" like most everyone here suggests, and watch them then struggle with finances for the rest of their life (at least as much as you do). I tend to think "growing up" shouldn't mean "not living up to your potential," but whatever.

Holy crap I'm late to this thread.


I wish my parents had taught me more financial responsibilty. My brother and I have gotten allowance for probably close to 5-8 years. The problem with that was that, my mother frequently gave us (mostly my brother) "advances" on our allowances. She also would pay me back interest when she borrowed money. For example, she'd borrow ten dollars from me and pay back twelve, and eventually fifteen. I didn't get a job until I was almost seventeen, and I had a horrible work ethic. I quit after three months because it was "too hard" (believe me, it was anything but-i was the equivalent of a greeter at walmart). Anyway, I'm now eighteen and in college. My parents pay for everything but clothes and "wants". It's getting to the point where I have to pay for my own toiletries and I am in the middle of a very rude awakening. Life is expensive as hell. Especially where I live. It is not unusual for a one bedroom rental place to cost close to 1k. I try to be concious about spending, with gas and driving etc. But I just am not used to it. I want to move out soon (my family drives me nuts) but I honestly could not survive unless I quit school and worked one or two fulltime jobs.



The main issue is long gone, weaning is all you can do now.

Give them everything they want or they're liable to come for a visit and slit your throat while you're sleeping.

Cold turkey. That's what my parents did for a year. Opened my eyes REALLY wide. When I finally came back crawling and begging for mercy, they made me sit down and work out finances IN DETAIL. They look over my checkbook religiously. I work two jobs and make about $400/month. I also have the luxury of the HOPE scholarship and therefore as long as I attend a school in Georgia, I go for essentially free. I also have loans which pay for my rent and will be paid back on my future salary. I pay for gas, food, clothes, movies, alcohol, etc.

Give your kids an eye-opener. I'm just barely 21 and when I was 18 and starting college I was a spoiled suburban brat. My parents would bail me out all the freaking time and I completely took it for granted. My younger brother is 18 and starts college next fall. He's the exact same. However, my parents did instill a sense of autonomy in us and we both started working when we were 15 years old. But getting cut off cold turkey made me rethink going out to eat or wasting my cell phone minutes. It's stupid little things like that which really eat up your money.

DON'T BUY YOUR KIDS GAS. If they can't drive anywhere, they can't spend more of your money. As an undergrad who pays for herself, if I can't get there I won't waste my money. I live in Atlanta and as much as our public transportation system sucks, I learned how to use it REAL fast. Most schools have a transit system of some kind, despite size or availability of public transportation.

If you want your kids to be financially stable as adults, start it now. Cut them off. Do it. You're just feeding a vicious cycle that will bite you in the ass when you're trying to retire and they're asking you for a loan for their dependent college-age kids.

What is most significant for me is the sense of guilt my parents managed to get into my head and now I actually feel obligated to repay them every penny they used to bail me out. If you just write the check for them, no strings attached, how the heck will they ever learn? There are so many been-there-done-that parents and students writing their very sage advice here. I concur with about 97% of all the posts on here.

I have to say there have been a lot of good points in here, and I guess I have another view from the kid's perspective myself.

I'm a 21 year old guy that is working full time (40-60 hrs a week) and taking a full credit load at college (Nights and online courses). I am fully supporting myself and making close to $35K a year. Now granted 35K is not a lot of money but I'm surviving like this which is all that really matters and I have a decent life. Granted I can't buy all of the things I want, but I make do.

My dad and step-mother are what most would consider "Wealthy" but they do NOT provide support. However they have been there in times of need, like the night my truck broke down at 2AM they were there to come get me (even though they lived 2hrs away) and provided a short term loan so I could get my truck fixed. But they don't believe in handouts.

You just need to teach your kids responsibility, it seems to be a large problem among people my age. One thing I always hear in my field when clients find out how old I am is that they are so incredibly suprised how responsible and together I seem to be. I attribute that to my parents ENCOURAGING/requesting that I get a job and always maintain one. Which I have done since I was 14, and at a few times I held 3 jobs at once while in high school.

Lay down the law and make your kids grow up, if you don't work on chaning this now, you'll have dependents until the end of time

Man, you ppl who expect the parents should pay for college need to try living in the real world. If you are lucky enough to have parents that are able and willing to help pay for college, you should consider yourself DAMN LUCKY.

I just turned 19 this month and moved out of my parent's house about 2 months ago.

I share rent/utilities with a roommate, so that is about $380/month for my share..freakin expensive, but really nice and I live right downtown, so I can walk/bike to school or work if I need to. I pay for all my groceries and gas and all that stuff. My parents are still paying (at their insisting) my car payments/insurance and phone/dsl, and of course my health insurance, but as soon as I know I'm financially stable, I'm taking all that stuff over. I work 30-40+ hours a week (waitressing..hours depend on conventions and events a lot of the time. this weekend I'm working 10-12 hour shifts) and go to school full time.

I don't know how long it'll take to ease off of that stuff, but it'll happen. I didn't ask them to take over my car payments, but it sure does help. And my building and school has internet access, so I was going to just not get internet for a while..but they insisted and I'm glad, because much of my school business is conducted online. They are now trying to get me to let them pay for cable (I bought rabbit ears and get about 6 local channels right now), but I just can't let them, it see it as too much of a luxury.

my tuition is being paid for with student loans as far as I know...I think my parents are helping out a bit, but most of it will be loans I pay off eventually.

i think this is pretty good, considering most of the people I graduated with are living in dorms and getting wasted with their parent's debit cards...

If they want someone to pay for tuition and food and rent, tell them to join the military. The Air Force is what I'd reccomend (it's the cushiest, I was Navy myself). Plus they'd get some discipline. The only downside is they might pick up some bad habits, but it's nothing that they wouldn't be exposed to in college anyway.

When I was 16 my mom said that she didn't have the money to support me past 18, but that was fine, I'd been plotting a way to have my own life since I was 5. I moved out a month after I graduated high school.

Sometimes the best way to learn financial responsibility is to go hungry for a few days. Priorities get switched around pretty quick after that.

Yeah sure, there might be people that'll cry about the hungry part, but that's life. Pain association works. The truth is that people are only entitled to what they earn, retribution for wrongdoing against them, and what's left to them in the will. The rest is gravy.
If they complain about it, let them know that life is hard, then you die. You earned that money, they didn't earn shiat (other than what they got paid from their jobs last week). If they NEED someone to take care of them, let the military do it. Give 'em all the advice they'll need and help 'em out to the extent that YOU'RE comfortable with, but your kids are old enough to take care of themselves.
A little help is fine from time to time, but they need to learn and -know- in order to grow. Cheesy rhyme, but accurate nonetheless.

On another subject, for those of you that borrowed your way through college and are pissed that your parents didn't pay for it: if you can't pay off your loans after you get the college degree, the degree isn't farking worth it. Plan well, and be rewarded for it. Don't just do the norm.
When I was in Basic Underwater Demolition/ SEAL school, there was an instructor (I believe his name was Brown- he was a PT machine) who gave us some good advice before we hit the water. He said, "When you're swimming, and you get a bad cramp, you can either keep swimming and breath, or you can stop............." Then he pursed his lips slightly and gave a light shrug.
If the above "college loan" predicament is yours, you can either figure a way out... or don't.

I'm 21 and in college at Penn State. I'm lucky enough to have parents that pay for whats left of my tuition after student loans, my apartment (which is really cheap, like 300/month) and they pay for insurance. Now that i write it down, i'm REALLY lucky. However, i pay for my cell bill, minimal cable and internet, electricity, anything that goes wrong with my car (passed year or so it has been a lot), groceries, and any "partying" i do (which is minimal cause i'm an EE major and we're dorks). I worked a summer intern and made a lot of money so i wouldn't have to ask for grocery money and so that i could forego getting a job this semester and live off of the money i made during summer. I read further up, someone said they got into the mindset that they weren't going to have anything nice in their early twenties and that is a GREAT way of thinking that i have adopted since i was 14 and started working. If your sons are working, there is no reason that they shouldn't be paying for the cell bills, at LEAST, thats just asinine. When it comes to groceries, they should be paying for those too AND any "luxuries" they want. They're going to school so they can live like YOU would with no burdens, ya know. Dealing with your wife however is another story. My mother ALWAYS yells at my dad and makes him give me money (whether its 20 bucks or 50 bucks), then i usually just give it back to him and he refuses, naturally. All the advice i have with your wife is, Good effin luck. Thats how good Moms are!! Haha. As for your sons, quit paying their cell bills, cable bills, internet bills, they'll eventually figure it out. Good Luck

Ok, I'm 19, and in college myself. I worked hard- got a scholarship which covers tuition, room, board and some food. I work over the summer- but I barely earn a couple thousand (last summer, just over 2000). I have student loans out, but only the heavily subsidized ones. Between my student loans and what I earn over the summer, I cover all my 'expenses' except for my car. My parents pay for my car, they pay for my cell phone, they help me maybe athousand a year for extra expenses. They do this because they want to- the cell phone is so that I can talk to them whenever I need to, the car is so that I can go home and visit, and have a job over the summer. I know I'm slightly spoiled- but the important thing is that I understand what my expenses are. If your kids don't understand just how much you're paying, and how much that equates to in hours worked (or something like that) then there's a problem. But simply helping your kids through college is NOT a bad thing. My brother last summer had a 'real' job, with very nice pay and lived on his own in Ohio. He spent his money wisely, and still ended up with almost nothing left after the summer- just paying food, rent and car (so he could get to the job). Unless you're willing to force your children to work 40 hours a week, and go to school full time on top of that, they are not going to be able to pay their expenses through college. They should certainly have jobs, work and understand how much things cost, but that doesn't mean you need to 'cut them off'. Surely you work hard so that you and your family can live in a better situation.

With a knife.

And a little bleeding.

Christ, I blew outta my folks' house at 18, when my dad said "my way or the highway". Easy choice.
Took off to another state, took a minimum wage job, and rented a room with bath in an old house.
Never looked back, never asked the folks for anything. Matter of pride.

They want to be on their own? Let them be on their own.
But don't rob them of the understanding of what "being on your own" means.

I bought both of them a nice car, pay their insurance, cell phones, tuition, etc, etc.


OMFG.

That's one hell of a mobius curve of mistakes. I have no idea what you'd do at this point, but...

I might suggest you gently transfer all their payables to their bad selves, and TELL THEM TO WORK FOR A LIVING, FOR fark's SAKE.

And not that anybody's asked, but the aforementioned pwecious kiddies are often the ones who align themselves with ultra-liberal causes, adopting some inane sort of: "Tha man's keepin me DOWN, man. Fight the power" - speak.

Please, sir: Don't add any more trustafarians to the world. Harvard Square and Kenmore Square are full of enough of the little SUV-driving urchins. The last thing this country needs is more kids who were born on third base and think they hit a triple.

HA!HA! Sitric

;) thanks for the laugh

/long day

I have an 20 year old daugther and I give her $800 a month to go to school along with some other cash I saved up for her to go to college. I give it to her and she asks for nothing more. She's managed school on scholorships and loans and working and being smart. If you don't make limits for your children they'll never figure out how to exceed them on their own.

If your kid is not going to school then cut him/her off.

My father weaned me by giving me a secured credit card with a $400 limit when I first went to college. For the first year, he paid it off each month, up to $400. Year two he dropped it down to $300. Year Three it was down to $200 and by the last year it was $100 a month. After that I was on my own.

It did 3 things. 1, it helped me build up my credit, which was helpful later. 2, it kept me from getting one of those high-interest credit cards that they throw at students like water. And 3, by the end of my Senior year, I knew that was the end of the line.

He helped me other ways later, like co-signing on my first car loan and giving me some money for a down-payment when I wanted to buy a house. Fortunately he was in a financial position to do this, and it worked nicely for me.

Gosling: Darn. All ya'll are talking about supporting a kid even after 19 and my parents are telling me as soon as I turn 18 I'm out the door with only 2 quarters for a payphone.

Luxury.

When I turned 17, I had to pay my father 100 dollars for the privledge of moving out of the house. And I left the house with nothing but a bath towel to protect my decency.

Flamewars are the last great entertainment...

J_O_M You're the parent everyone would love to have if you really are paying what is listed.

When I was in high school one of my friends' father (a true realist, straight shooting, honest to goodness father figure who taught at an inner city H.S.) put it to me this way:

If you can get into a good college, do it. Your parents will do whatever it takes to make it happen for you. Your job is to make the grades, period. As long as you do... they do... and when you're not around they will brag about it to anyone that has ears. When you need something in order to keep up your end of the "deal" you write it down and make an accounting of every penny, make sure your parents get their moneys worth of everything they're paying for:


AND That you are aware of all that they are doing in order to make this happen for you.
Anything extra is up to you, you make the grades, and they'll be happy to cover it, no matter what it takes in order to do it.

Grades = life.

If you give an honest accounting of what you need and the grades are the best that you are capable of earning, you can be sure that your parents are driving poeple nuts with how proud they are of you.


That sounded like a fair deal to deal to me and still does...

I may not have had the parents that could keep up their end of the "deal" but if your kids are making the grades and you can make it happen for them...
Just make sure that they write it down and add it all up accurately.
Anything extra is up to them...

TRUE STORY - I hope that this was the reason Mr. Coleman made sure I would remember it so clearly.

ggwen:

"HA!HA! Sitric

;) thanks for the laugh

/long day"

I though maybe I was being a bit of an asshat there, taking advantage of your typo like that. Glad you laughed.

nanded: Luxury.

When I turned 17, I had to pay my father 100 dollars for the privledge of moving out of the house. And I left the house with nothing but a bath towel to protect my decency.

Bath towel? Pure luxury. I had to take all my money from the bank in bill form, dump it into a pit I dug with my bare hands, toss all my clothes and worldly possessions in, then pour gas I payed for in tall tales all over it and lit it all on fire.

Then I was given a washcloth that I attempted to cover up with, and was taken to jail on an indecency charge.

yeah? well screw you... I was raised by wolves and had to do everything myself since I was five. Still went to college and now have a private airplane.

arrrrr...

relax, i'm just lying

Do what my gramma did, just tell them Jesus told you in a dream to stop giving them money.

My Dad: "You're an adult now & since you've decided to leave school it's time to learn about the real world. Here's a credit card w/ $1000 limit. Don't blow it on stupid shiat because I'm not paying for it. You can visit anytime but you can't live here. You've got 2 weeks to find a place to live."

Me: "?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?"

It made the point though.

You could say, "Good news kids!!! We LOVE you kids so much... Mom and I just bought you each a brand new home! Paid full in cash! Enjoy!"

Just...

I would recommend AGAINST printing this out and showing it to your kids. It's tantamount to saying "I have no balls, but look at what everyone else says."

You're smart to ask for advice, but don't expect it to do the work for you. That's on you.

/this thread should have had voting. Would've been interesting.

I found just waving the gun around does the trick.

Kick 'em in the box 'n' shove 'em.

You could do what my parents did when I moved out. (I'm 22 now) They told me they would pay for tuition, and I would need to cover expenses, by the time I got to University, they called me to tell me to check into student loans as they had decided not to pay for tuition, which was spectacular. I'm still angry about it, but at least they cut me off.

How do you expect children to be self sufficent when you provide too much already for them. What is there really to learn? Where is the motivation? What is the goal? What is self satisfaction with doing a good job well?

To them your like a credit card with no limit and no payment plan. They take whatever they need from the credit card company called dad and mom without penalty. The way they see it they have it made and home is a paradise!

You never learned them the value of money and the responsibility of earning a living instead of living on the family dole. You plea bargained with them for one thing they would contribute, but the mass amount you and your misses provide for them.

They still see what they get from you as allowance when most children are weened off years ago and that dependance via getting their first job and in effect learn the general mechanics of making a living and living off making their own money and paying their way through life on their own.

Where would they be if mom or dad got a heart attack and died or a stroke and they became dependant on them? Could they support you? Do they have a compassion to allow dad and mom to enjoy their golden years after they faithfully looked after the them for so many years?

If you haven't yet, you need to badly ween them off the purse strings of mom and dad A.S.A.P. Have you ever heard of the saying "you've got to be cruel to be kind"? In order to make them sole sufficent you need to be harsh and cruel to prepare them for what awaits them in life. The good AND the bad.

You need to learn them to support themselves and not expect mom, dad, sis, brother, friends or a girlfriend do it. You need to get them off their slothish complacency and teach them to leave the nest and earning a living on their own, contribute to the economy, pay their own taxes and understand all the fine details of getting their own things, paying for bills, buying their own food, paying for their own car repairs and insurance etc...

Trust me your doing them a greater disservice by not teaching them this.

Thank God my parents won't ever see this thread.