super toilets that auto cleanse your anus cartoons of schoolgirls getting raped by devil tentacle penises.

anyone else see the connection?

They do more? Who could want more?

I encountered a toilet of this type in Austria, and it's one bad a$$ motherfarker.

Something to be said about a freshly washed a$$.

"I am honored to accept your waste."

Any bathroom device that has an electrical control panel attached frightens me......

Amazing, simply amazing....

ass washer? no thanks. not a fan of things going into my butt. kthx.

initially, this sounds kinda cool. but then I started thinking about anatomy. im 5'4", 130. compare me to refrigerator perry sitting on this same seat. Im assuming his important area will be located differently than mine would be, in relation to the nozzle. Therefore, will my nuts get cleaned instead? or will I get a stream of water up my back? and what about pressure? perry's got a lot of tissue to get through until he's clean. I, OTH, dont. Am I going to have to accept an enema every time. Will I have to have anus transplant since my original one was sandblasted off? Just random thoughts on a sat. morning- looking out on the freshly fallen snow (its the end of april-dammit).

At least Im not whining about being dumped. My wife loves me with or without a clean bum.

It banishes anal waste to the land of Wind and Ghosts.

One of my Japanese friends sells these things. He's got one set up in his house. It's got these buttons on it that indicate different functions. They're done in line drawings to be multilingual.

I'm always tempted to push the buttons when I'm standing in front of the thing, but can't bring myself to do it, lest I get a rude surprise.

What about the 3 sea shells?

I think the Arabs are way more sophisticated than us. The bare hand is the best way to do it.

still and ole' fashioned TP fan myself

I don't know. Seems like it would take some serious PSI to get a decent cleaning. And how long would you have to sit there before your arse is dry? Three minutes?

i have one of those toliets in my appartment. its pretty cool. usually they have a sensor on them so people like fngKesrel dont get sprayed. the shower dont work unless you sit on the damn thing.

heated seats rock in winter...ill tell you that.

Arnold Rimmer only used three pieces of TP.

<cockney dialect>
One up, one down, and one to polish.
</cockney dialect>

WOW! I really have seen all the internet offers!

TP....still the only choice for a good ole' fashioned American ass wipin'!

They've had these for years??

Um... looks cool, if you've got $700+ to blow.

Maybe it's just me, but I like my toilet seat cold....there's something unsettling about sitting down on a toilet, and the seat is warm.

Clintoon?

Hizzout - I agree. It's soothing kind of like the cold side of the pillow.

yea i dont like a warm seat, i makes me realize the fact that other people in my house are putting they're bare ass on the set too

on the seat... argh...

Next thing you know, its going to be a giant, penis-shaped tenticle cleaning out your anus with Bleach...

I question their ability to properly cleanse. Not only that, but drying is a fairly unanswered problem.

So I'm sitting at home this past Super bowl Sunday


I guess toilet bowl news travels slow...

I think we have a toilet technology gap with the japanese.
Nuke em again.

I think that some company is marketing a moistened towellete
type of thing for adults, similar to baby wipes. Don't know if they'd be flushable, though.

Sounds pretty good. But so does products sold by Ronco!

I guess you have to adjust yourself to the water spraying?

So I went to the "TODO Washlet" site, and I am a little perturbed -- it has three models, named "Jasmin", "Chloe", and "Portable". Am I the only one that thinks they named two of their toilets after one or more porn stars?

Am I the only one disturbed by this?

1000airplanes:

On the one I used, there was a button that lets you adjust the angle of spray to your liking.

20/20: They're flushable now. That's a fairly recent development.

The part that really frightens me is the "Recycle" logo on the package.

Yes, Charlie, there might be some people out there who would call up their townships and want to know how to recycle their asswipes, not knowing it refers to the packaging.

They should have a rearward looking video monitor like the big american SUV's have.

Then you can use the monitor to better aim the spray head. Which would be more reliable than using the "touch and feel" or "seat of you pants" method of aiming.

I'm supposed to spray the bowl, not the other way around.

Well at least japan has their priorities straight...

rimmer wasn't a cockney.

This only seems like a bidet with buttons. So what? who cares. Bollocks to it... what? oh yes... uhhmmm great invention - bollocks to it.

I'm shocked that Ron Popiel hasn't started selling them via his infamous infomercials.

i'm sure Gore will take credit for this too.
"i invented the internet, and a self spraying toilet, now where's my G.D. Nobel Peace Prize???"

Like I don't have enough people blowing hot air up my ass all day as it is!

Touchfree carwashes don't get my car clean.
A touchfree butt-spray ain't gonna get my ass clean.

Following is the Red Dwarf quote of Lister describing Rimmer: (so it's DEFINITELY a cockney accent)


"We're talking about a guy who always uses three sheets of toilet paper: one up, one down, and one to polish."

Remember the Cat using the bushes while on the "Backwards Planet". (A planet where time ran backwards, including all body fuctions)