Well of course. Doesn't submitter know that condoms lead to dancing!?

But the U.S. government has dramatically reversed course. Over the past five years, it has spent nearly $1 billion to persuade young people that the only safe form of sex is within marriage

So, wait... are they saying that taking a vow prevents a disease from being transmitted, or that it actually cures it?

The body. God created it for you to hate, along with liberals and common sense.

Well, if they're saying that silver rings are just as effective as condoms, that would imply either that Christian men have #2 pencil-size peckers or that Christian women have vaginas the size of a Roosevelt dime.

I'm not sold on either, personally.

"My own daughter, my 16-year-old daughter, tells me shes going to be sexually active. I would not tell her to use a condom," says Pattyn. "I don't think it'll protect her. It wont protect her heart. It wont protect her emotional life. And its not going to protect her. I dont want her to get out there and think that shes going to be protected using a condom."


That is the scariest thing I have ever read.

Asa Phelps: "is there any evidence that chastity pledges reduce teen sex rates? I vaguely recall hearing that they, don't work at all."

I think they slightly reduce sex rates but the corresponding lack of safe-sex education dramatically increases unsafe sex.

RoguePixie: "That is the scariest thing I have ever read."

pfft

Just because you want your kids to live. You liberals...

Andvanced Darwinism....

The fundies are so stupid they will wipe themselves out....

consdubya

The fundies are so stupid they will wipe themselves out....

Actually this will mean that we can expect many more of them. With pelvic itching.

Meet Ms. Technical-Virgin and Mr. Physical-Blueballs:

Well, since chime brought it up: Technical Virgin

An oldie, but a goodie.

Wasn't there a study that said something like 80% of high schoolers that make an abstinence pledge will break it before graduation?

Just remember, she's a technical virgin until the oil hits her anus.

That settles it. From now on I'm only going to have sex with married women.

bbcrackmonkey wins this pot of gold!

chime
Meet Ms. Technical-Virgin

Well, with a honker like that, no wonder he only hits her from behind.

I tried using the silver ring but the only thing it did was stopping the blood circulation to my balls.

If they pledge their virginity under God, is it unconstitutional?

Lets not confuse the stupidity of nutty Christians with the 'intelligence' of liberals. I say theyre all retards who should be shipped to Madagascar.

I think it's a great article.

Monogamy, fidelity, marriage are institutions worth preserving.

Nobody is forcing -you- to take a vow of abstinence. I think its great.

Obviously the guy was a little cross.

The only sure way to avoid all STDs and unwanted teen pregnancies would be to kill everybody as soon as they hit puberty... which seems a little extreem, even for the fundies.

In the real world, however, it's pretty dumb to swear you won't do something you don't even know how feels. And boys and girls, sex feels pretty damn good, let me tell you.

Staying with one partner is safer - but most of us are just human, and the girl we had a crush on when we were 16 and drunk (luckily, I was too drunk for her to be interested in me at all*) isn't the woman we love when we're 32... so naturaly most of us will have more than one partner during our life. Thats where the pill, the patch and condoms come into play. The two first means less risk of having a shootgun wedding, the last prevents that _and_ reduces the risk of STDs.

To sum up; in an ideal world, abstinece might work. But since we're all humans, protection is a very good idea.

*)most girls don't seem to like boys too drunk to even ask if they wanna do the one legged polka... weird, ain't it?

This is some ridiculous shizznit. I can't stand fundie propaganda making our youth ignorant. It's completely absurd that this gets government funding. Thank you, 51%, you have truly served us well.

www.ironhymen.com/


Almost as good as Tech Virgin.

From the TEN THINGS EVERY GIRL SHOULD KNOW ABOUT BOYS AND THEIR VILE PRIVATE PARTS link on that site:

Quote:When a boy's disgusting private goes inside of a girl's shameful unmentionable, there is a serious risk of it breaking off and causing excruciating pain while it travels throughout your body like a giant trichinosis worm.

Actually this will mean that we can expect many more of them.

...which is not at all coincidental. In fact, that's pretty much the point.

WeganWarrior
"The only sure way to avoid all STDs and unwanted teen pregnancies would be to kill everybody as soon as they hit puberty... which seems a little extreem, even for the fundies."

And to late for the catholic priests...

This is some ridiculous shizznit. I can't stand fundie propaganda making our youth ignorant. It's completely absurd that this gets government funding. Thank you, 51%, you have truly served us well.


I'm sure they have NO idea what condoms are... sure...

awesome! the consdubya half retarded flame bait comment out of his butt trifect is in play!

and WeganWarrior
In the real world, however, it's pretty dumb to swear you won't do something you don't even know how feels. And boys and girls, sex feels pretty damn good, let me tell you.

I hear that black tar heroin can make a dude feel all nice and stuff, but ya know, i feel pretty secure in swearing i wont do it, even without knowing how it feels. But this is no time to be rational! We're talking about CHRISTIANS here! Lets keep the poor logic train rolling! I hereby renounce my pledge not to jump out of a plane without a parachute. I dont know what it feels like hit the ground, so how to I know I wont like it? (hyperbole - for the love of god, please dont get your panties in a bunch screaming "but thats not the same thing!").

Really tho - dont want to get an STD, dont want to get knocked up? Dont wanna support your baby-momma? DONT HAVE SEX! Theres few things that drive me more insane that someone who's sexually active b*tching up a storm about how they somehow have an STD, or, my absolute favorite, "Im pregnant, how did this happen?"

/shouldnt comment this late when a history paper is due soon and going crazy bad

And, of course, the pledge assumes the marriage will last. Divorce statistics, anyone?

What's so sacred about wedding vows if they're only temporary?

Is sex inside of wedlock prior to your current marriage more moral than prior sex outside of wedlock (assuming death did not you part)?

I'm suprised they didn't make this mandatory for the girls...

Pledges reduce sex, but increase unsafe sex. More people get preggers, more people get AIDS.

Awsome. (but thats what these republicans want, to have people get farked over if they make the 'wrong' choice. Without 'natural consiquences' people will live in SIN!

Bahahahahahahaha!
From the Iron Hymen pledge:

"4. To never let tampons violate the sanctity of my hoo-hoo, because tampons are really nothing more than thirsty little albino penises."

chakalakasp
Perry Bible Fellowship rules. That bunny comic is one of my favorites.

Virginity is by far the single most overrated thing on earth. Considering that I say this knowing full well that Keanu Reeves has received half a dozen acting awards, that means a lot.

Sex is lovely squidgy fun to be enjoyed by all. Look at it this way. In any given generation, historically, the ones who enjoy sex the most are most likely to have it, and thus reproduce, passing on their sex drive to the next generation.

We are, quite literally, the product of millions of years of the survival of the horniest.

So go for it and enjoy. Learn a bit so you don't end up infected, pregnant, or so badly emotionally scarred that you end up needing to adopt a dozen pet cats or collecting porcelain figurines. Obviously.

Oh, and tell those people who try to fill you with guilt about it to stick it up their own arse. There's enough confusion as it is without any pressure from them, and, who knows, they might find pleasure in something other than trying to ruin other people's happiness.

The word "preggers" is quite possibly the stupidest utterance ever concocted by mankind.

That is all.

Just because one person is a boy and the other is a girl does not mean that they will be sexually compatible. Frequency, drive, likes, dislikes, inhibibitions, fears, the ability to talk things through, and problems that may arise when the first time is a negative experience are a few examples of things that can put a lot of stress on the relationship. Also, shouldn't honeymoon sex be a joyful and spiritual experience instead of an awkward, bloody, and painful one? Mutually satisfying sex is what smooths things over in a good marriage sometimes. Lots of couples are in therapy for years because of sex-related problems, and in the early part of their marriage when things are supposed to be the most passionate.

In my opinion, which I believe to be logically justifiable as a safe standard to apply to all of society, people SHOULD have sex before marriage, just not promiscuous sex. They should also wait until they are independant adults capable of being responsible for the implications of sex within the context of a commited monogomous relationship.

Using the bible to tell people not to have sex until after marriage is as stupid as telling a boy that God will send him to hell if he touches his penis too much. Oh, and paranoia about masterbation added to apprehension about talking about sex... there's a good combo for a happy married couple to have right there. :P

As a Christian myself I'd like to carpet bomb the Bible Belt.

"2005-09-19 12:10:44 AM consdubya

Andvanced Darwinism....

The fundies are so stupid they will wipe themselves out...."

No, actually, that's wrong. If they are having unprotected sex and believe that abortion is a sin, it will (sadly) actually work the other way. More babies born to fundies = more fundies.

Whoa whoa whoa...

"You are not a virgin, right?" Bradley asks Rick.
"That's right, that's right It's a second chance," says Rick.

Virginity is a one shot (heh) deal. Doesn't matter how many rings you put on to make it look like you're making the right choice, you've already screwed up. But in all honesty, you, just like the rest of your peers, will fail at keeping your so called pledge. All the while providing more backing for the mind numbing idiocy behind the silver ring thing.

Teach kids why the Health Department exists, and that you can get free condoms from there so there's no excuse to not use them. Furthermore, at least in SC, females can get the state to pay for their birth control, annual visits, pap smears, etc.

Better I pay for that than having to pay for the welfare that Susie is eating up because Daddy preacher kicked her out of the house with her kid she only had because the school told her that condoms weren't effective.

I saw the television program one of my more favourite things I noticed

"condoms have a 15% failure rate, means that condoms are worthless and should not be used at all"

(later when asked about the statistic that 80% of teens who enter these abstinence programs end up having sex anyway)

"well if there is a 20% success rate then it means it works, because 20% is better than nothing"


ok so evidently to these guys 15% failure rate is a complete and utter failure and a 20% success rate is a total success

my head asplode

Elandriel: In the UK there are countless teenagers with children. They dress them up in matching outfits and stuff. Children are a damn status symbol. An accessory. A lot of girls out here seem to have kids merely so that they can play dress-up and have a reason to buy a stroller. (Pram, feh.)

Most of those teen girls have kids to avoid having to work! A couple of kids and you'll get an appartment/house supplied by local government, benifits that are more than most of these under-educated chavs would earn in the workplace and of course paternity payments (if they know the fathers name). Life is good if you can get knocked up at 15!

/they bug the crap outta me too!

Silver ring thing?

What? Gay propaganda on Fark?

/I don't get American Christianity
//You all seem to be Ned Flanders clones
///Christian from UK...

um... how about teaching RESPONSIBILITY??

hey we could do what some other countries have had to do with birth control problems... dont teach sex, punish parents(or teens in this case) that do, restrict it to one child, massive publicity campaign, and then after a few generations everyone would forget HOW to have sex... problem solved... except then we'd have to teach how to have sex... hm...

Who's Cliff?

Gordon Bennett
just curious - you said "Look at it this way. In any given generation, historically, the ones who enjoy sex the most are most likely to have it, and thus reproduce, passing on their sex drive to the next generation."

logically, you are assuming that these hornified love machines are having unprotected sex (otherwise sex doesnt lead to reproduction, and your arguement falls apart). Wouldnt this hold the same for spreading STDs? If you have two people who wait till marriage, you know theyre both clean (assuming theyre both virgins. its just a hypothetical). If one is banging as many people are goodly enough to have them, theyre more likely to get AIDS and croak (or get pee-pee warts, which would, or at least should, have the same effect on sex-having as death). So then, at least nowadays, sex sexually rampant would be more likely to get weeded out.

If have my head up my butt, please feel free to mend my logic.

And I 'specially enjoyed "We are, quite literally, the product of millions of years of the survival of the horniest. " When I look at the last, oh, 500 years or so, nothing screams hedonism quite like victorian or elizabethian england. Thank god theres more to it than animalistic passion.

/just a little bit o humor.

look at them, its cute how they defend themselves. Like a slug doused in salt, struggling to find a way out.

"alright kids, im here today to tell you one thing and one thing only: Every natural urge your god instilled in you is the devil and can only lead to an after school special on ABC. Your penis' and vaginas are wicked tools of mass destruction. Surpressing these urges is healthy, right, and holy. Dont have sex, but if you do, do it in the most unsafe way possible. To remain a virgin, put it in her butt. Any questions?"
i can go on for days, and read every retort laughing like a satanic freak of nature while masturbating to tarot cards with porn on them.

Farkers.